Marka didn't say anything for a moment. She pushed her chair in, the sound of her chair scraping on the floor enough to make everyone cringe, and then pushed her blonde hair back against her head. For not the first time since they'd started working together, Marka looked flustered and totally out of her depth.

"Mrs Nichols," Red began, her blue eyes not quite brave enough to meet Marka's, "I can explain."

Marka couldn't even muster up the false smile she used for difficult clients, the ones marked in red in her diary. She blinked at Red, her head tilting. Lost for words wasn't something she was often, but now she couldn't string a sentence together no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many stammered starts there were.

Nicky's eyes were glued to the floor. Red shifted Parker to her hip. The crying had long subsided, but Red almost wished the whimpers would start up again. A baby, she knew how to deal with. She'd changed more diapers and calmed more babies than anyone could ever imagine, and it was her territory. Fractured families and betrayal was something she'd dabbled in - from her own crimes, no less - but not something she knew how to navigate. And definitely not something she wanted to deal with today.

Red closed her eyes for a split second. She knew why Nicky had said it. She understood, but it didn't make her less upset with her. Nicky might be a mother now, but she hadn't been through a child who hated you. Who told you so. A child who desperately wanted to be someone else's. A child who called someone else mommy.

Red hadn't been through the latter, but she had been through children who abandoned her. She swallowed hard as Nicky and Marka's trauma brought her own fractured family to the surface. Her boys loved her, and for that she was grateful; but she too had heard 'I hate you' from the lips of a child she'd given everything to. And she'd deserved it at the time - she had left her babies in a shit, awful scenario.

But Nicky couldn't possibly understand how that tore you up inside. You're only as happy as your unhappiest child, it's said, and Red understood that more than many. The older woman hoped Nicky never would understand it. Of course all teenagers scream hurtful things to their parents, but rarely do they mean it. Her boys had.

No, Parker was too little to think that Nicky was anything less than perfect, and Nicky in her ignorance was taking that for granted.

Marka held a shaking hand out, silencing Red from saying anything further. "I need a minute," she murmured, excusing herself from the room. As she stepped away, both remaining women heard the click-clacking of her heels on the wooden floor quickening in pace, and the slam of her bedroom door.

Red rubbed at her temples with her free hand, her other hand wrapping tightly around Parker. If only she could protect her from what was about to go down.

Nicky finally looked up. Her stare was hard but she eventually let up. "I'm sorry," she said finally, anything to fill the silence.

Red pressed her lips together, remaining unimpressed. As much as she had missed her girl, and as much as she appreciated why Nicky had burst out with it in anger, she had missed the much bigger picture. This was Nicky from five years ago, the Nicky with nothing to lose, the Nicky with a chip on her shoulder and a problem with the world. Not the Nicky trying to make a life for herself.

"Take your baby," Red said, exhaling forcefully through her nose. "I need to sort out this mess before it blows up."

Nicky's forehead creased. "I know I messed up, Red, but-"

Red placed Parker in Nicky's arms when the blonde made no move to take her, despite the infant whining for her babushka, her little starfish hands stretching out. Nicky held the baby awkwardly, out of practice with the whole thing, and looked at Red with an agonized expression.

"Nicky," Red said evenly, "I get why you are angry. I promise I do. But Marka is trying. And that is more than can be said for you right now."

She wasn't yelling or cursing, but it still hit Nicky hard. The blonde bit her lip, cradling Parker close to her face to stop the tears from falling.

Red relented a little, unable to see her daughter this hurt in what should have been a joyous occasion. She reached over, brushing her cheek gently. She did the same to Parker, and then pushed Nicky's wild mane of hair back, winding a curl around her finger.

"I will fix this," Red promised, locking eyes with Nicky. "But you have to try. Okay?"

"I will," Nicky insisted. She put her hand on Red's hand, the one that rested on her cheek. "I've missed you so much, Red."

"I've missed you too, silly girl." She drew herself up, taking a deep breath. "Wait here with Miss Parker. I'll be back soon. Don't worry."

Nicky was worried. She held Parker close to her pounding chest, drawing comfort from being near her baby.


"Mrs Nichols," Red murmured, poking her head around the door. Marka looked up, her face ashen, and nodded for her to come in. Red let out a breath and stepped forward. "Please let me explain."

Marka barked out a laugh. "Please do explain! I have no idea what's going on," she admitted, letting blonde strands of hair fall in front of her watery eyes. She wiped at her eyes, obviously embarrassed by the tears, and dabbed at her face with a tissue. She looked at Red. "I had to walk away, Galina."

Red threw her a sympathetic smile.

"If I hadn't, I'd have said something I would regret." She closed her eyes for a moment, perhaps reliving all the other ugly words throughout the years - the ones she had come to regret - and then swallowed hard. "There's already so much regret in this family. If you can call us that."

Red closed a fist behind her back. Her tongue found a piece of dead skin on her lip and she ripped it away. Anything to avoid saying what had to be said. But Red had never been one to tread lightly. After a moment of silence, she came right out with it.

"I met Nicky in prison."

A sharp intake of breath was all Red heard.

"Prison?" she echoed. "She met you...in prison. And she thinks you're her mother." The blonde woman had to laugh.

Red winced, but continued. "I'm going to be honest with you."

"Why start now?" Marka asked. She brushed her hair back, perfectly shaped eyebrows rising challengingly. "They say ignorance is bliss."

"It is," Red conceded. "Until reality hits you like a shit ton of bricks."

Marka let herself smile.

Red took a deep breath. "I helped her detox. I don't mess around with drugs. I can't stand them. She's been clean for a long time now. I'm not a violent person. If you're worried about Parker."

Marka couldn't pretend it didn't sting. All the rehabs she'd paid for hadn't worked, but one lone Russian woman had. It made her feel inadequate to say the least.

"Prison...it shapes you. It's unlike anything else," Red said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Nicky and I have been through a lot together." She hesitated. "I consider her my daughter."

"But she's not your daughter." Marka locked eyes with Red. "She's mine."

"I know," Red said quietly. The woman had failed Nicky miserably, and the stories she'd heard about her were awful. But she couldn't hate her, not seeing her like this - mother to mother. "I didn't come here to antagonize you."

"You knew who I was when you stepped into my home. You lied to me, Galina! Every day you worked with me, you lied."

She couldn't act as if she were sorry. "I did it for Nicky."

This time, Marka was quiet. "I know that."

"And for Parker."

Marka glared. "I've taken care of Parker to the best of my ability. She's a happy, safe little girl. I love that child with everything I have. Don't you dare to try and tell me otherwise!"

Red looked heavenward, praying for strength. "And she loves you, Mrs Nichols. But you loved Nicky when she was a baby too, didn't you?" Red was pleading with her eyes. "Sometimes love just isn't enough."

Marka flinched. Her hands were folded in front of her, and Red really didn't know where this conversation was going.

"I'm not sorry I came here," Red said, trying to level with Marka. "But I am sorry I lied to you." The redhead paused, wondering if it was wise to continue. "Truthfully, when I came here, I wanted to hate you."

Marka's head snapped up. "Excuse me?"

"Nicky had told me about her childhood, about you. I came here thinking I would hate every moment I had to spend with you. I thought you would be this...villain. You were just a character in my head. But I know you aren't. Children tend to remember things differently than adults. Nicky remembers being put to bed by Paloma, she doesn't remember the nights you spent at your desk working to afford all the things she had."

"She told you about Paloma?" Marka interrupted. She bit her nail, anxiety seeping from every pore. "She's always been so guarded."

"I know everything about Nicky."

"More than I do," Marka said. Tears were spilling down her cheeks, and Red felt choked up herself.

"You aren't a villain, Mrs Nichols."

"Nicky thinks I am."

"Nicky…" Red couldn't help but smile as she thought of her daughter. "Nicky feels abandoned. Unloved. Even if that's not the case," she added quickly.

"I did love her." Marka looked up at Red. "I do love her."

"But you never told her that. Children need to be told that. They need boundaries. A present parent.I failed my boys, Mrs Nichols...but we worked on it. You have to do that with Nicky."

Marka's anger was webbing away. She still felt betrayed, and lied to...but Nicky had probably felt betrayed by her, too. When she'd abandoned her to the prison system, not visited once. When she left her with her nanny for hours on end. And she was willing to give her another chance now.

"Call me Marka, Galina. How many times?"

"Okay," Red let a smile creep onto her lips, feeling a resolution was soon to be had. "Then call me Red, Marka."

Marka nodded. "I don't want this wrecking this family." When she said family this time, it sounded much more firm. "We have spent far too long apart as it is. We've both made mistakes. And I'm willing to try if Nicky is."

Red raised her eyebrows. She could only hope her tearaway daughter was willing to try. If for no-one else but for her own daughter, who needed stability more than anything else.

Marka stood, and, brushing the tears from her cheeks, walked into the living room. Red followed like a little dog at her heels, and Nicky immediately stood from the couch. Parker's eyes followed her two grandmas around the room.

"We're going to work through this," Marka said. She looked pointedly at Nicky. "I know things haven't been easy between us, but you can't push me away."

Nicky chewed her lip. She hadn't thought of it like that before - but maybe she was trying to test Marka out. See how far she could push her before she gave up again. It made her stomach squeeze and she pushed down the feelings of nausea.

"Thank you," Nicky said begrudgingly. Somehow this place made her feel like a sulky teenager again, and her mother triggered so many negative emotions within her. But she forced herself to look up, and jutted her chin out at Marka. "Thank you for trying. You know. For Parker."

"It's not just for Parker," Marka said. "It's for you too, Nicky. I know I've made mistakes. But you need my help," she said, and Nicky tried to stop herself from prickling with annoyance. "Together, we can do this. You and me."

Nicky held Parker close to her. Her guard was still up, but Marka knew why. She ignored the doubtful stare from Nicky. "And Red."

Red cringed. Learn to pick your moments, she thought. Shooting a warning glance to Nicky, Red tried to make herself less imposing.

"And Red, if that's what it takes."

Nicky didn't like that wording. Red had been everything to her for years now. She was more than an imposition, more than something that had to be put up with.

"No," Nicky said forcefully, so suddenly that Parker cried out. Nicky bounced her for a moment and when she looked settled, continued. "Red's been there for me for years. She supported me throughout my pregnancy. Throughout my detoxes. Everything. She's part of my family. She's…" Nicky fought the urge to say my mother, and instead trailed off. "If this is going to work, Red is going to be here."

"I am here, honey. Don't beat a dead horse." She reached a hand out for Nicky and the blonde squeezed it.

Marka looked to Red, her eyes fixated on their locked fingers. Regret pooled in her eyes, but she nodded. "I wish things were different. I know how you see...Red." The name stuck in her throat after calling her Galina for so long. "And I know it's weird, and maybe it'll take some getting used to. But we can make this work, Nicky."

"And Red still has her job?"

Marka frowned. "Of course. If she still wants it."

If it was going to be a clean break, she couldn't hold anything against Galina. Besides, as much as Marka hated to admit it, she had done her job. She had taken care of Nicky. Who knows where she might be now if it weren't for her. And for that, although she couldn't say it aloud, she was grateful.

Nicky nodded. And then, to break the ice, she smirked at Marka. "Lots of kids have two moms nowadays, anyway."

She laughed as Marka twitched.

"Too soon?" Nicky said.

"Too soon," Marka confirmed. But even she couldn't help herself from smiling as baby Parker giggled to herself, perhaps sensing an atmosphere.

Nicky smiled, and it was genuine this time. "Fair enough," she said. She smirked again. "I'll try again tomorrow."


A/N:

Hello my lovelies! I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Please leave a review telling me your thoughts.
Happy new year!

Hope you're all good.

- Star xo