A/N
Written for The Houses Competition
House:
Class:
Category:
Prompt: [Word] Ambiguous
Word Count: 974
Beta: Theoretical Optimist, BetterYouThanMe,
It's Not So Ambiguous After All
A mother's reaction when her child dies is often ambiguous.
Lily smiled as she fixed the string of pearls around her neck. It wasn't quite right, but there was nothing she could do to make her lips and teeth stretch into something with genuine warmth and affection.
"You look great, Lil," said James.
His lips quivered as they stretched, and he fidgeted with the cuffs on his robes. He looked frightened, she thought.
"You do, too." She turned away. "We should go. It's like you said, we need to get out, and it's a good cause."
"I'm proud of you. It's a big step."
Her jaw tightened, and they walked to the Floo.
Lily stood in the atrium looking down at the crowd, the collection pots, and the banner that declared the cause 'Help the War Orphans'. Her stomach turned.
The war was over. Some thought it was temporary; others believed that it had only just begun. The Dark Lord tried to kill Neville Longbottom, the curse rebounded, and most of the wizarding world cheered. Lily and James cheered. They let down their guard. After all, the worst was over.
Others didn't cheer.
Bellatrix Lestrange didn't. Enraged, she investigated, discovered a traitor protecting the child that her master had intended to target, and a family that planned to hunt him down, preventing him from rising again.
"How's she doing?" said Remus.
Lily could hear them whispering. James and Remus were always whispering.
"She seems better…" Remus didn't sound confident.
"Yeah. She's better. I mean, she's out. She showered and dressed up," James said. "I mean… I don't know if it helps or hurts that this is for the kids."
Lily looked out over the crowd, looking for something, anything. Across the room was someone that she hadn't seen in a long time. Ignoring the whispers, she walked across the room.
He looked as though he didn't want to be seen. Dressed all in black, stood in a dark corner of the room, watching but not participating.
"Snape," she said.
He looked at her, wide-eyed. "L-Lily…"
Lily's eyes lingered on his wand arm; his skin bright pink and warped like melted plastic.
"Bellatrix," he said by way of explanation. "Punishment."
"You were discovered." It was just a statement, and her words were a lifeless drone.
"I-I tried to stop them from coming for you."
"Yes. Albus said. Not that it did any good." She looked away, her eyes usually a contradiction of cold green and warm affection were now vacant.
"If there was anything I could have done… I would have done anything."
"Don't sweat it. There's nothing you could have done." She started to walk away, faltering, she turned back. "I wanted to thank you. I know he would have come for Harry if it weren't for you."
Severus nodded stiffly.
Lily left to join the party. Soon she was surrounded by ex-order members, the drinks were flowing, and there were games and auctions.
There was a magical photo of Neville Longbottom, the poster child of magical orphans, and Augusta was leading the charge to raise funds. She wondered if it were sick that she wished Harry's picture would replace Neville's. She smiled, bid on items she didn't need and threw galleons at everything.
"I think she's fine," said James. "She's come a long way. I think she's getting there."
Lily eavesdropped while mindlessly betting on a game of Exploding Snap.
"I mean, we're not there yet. Losing Harry, it's like being knocked down by the Hogwarts Express, but she's smiling. I think she's getting better."
She pursed her lips, focusing instead on the ridiculous betting rules. Emmaline Vance cheered beside her, having just won big.
"I'm putting all the galleons back into the game of course,' she said. "It's the thrill of it, you know."
Lily smiled, half-listening to Emmaline and half-listening to the conversation behind her.
"She's not okay." It was Remus, by far the most emotionally intelligent. "None of us are. We lost Sirius, Peter, and Harry in one night. She's just good at putting on a brave face."
"I don't know," said James, she could hear the hope in the lilt of his voice, his tone wasn't as deep and grim as it had been. "I think it's going to be hard, but we've turned a corner."
When they finally arrived home, the smile faded. Lily stepped out of the grate, kicking off her shoes, and pulled out her earrings, discarding them to the floor. She took slow, shaky steps to the stairs and climbed.
"I'm glad we went, Lil," said James. "There're ways we can give back, and maybe we can help the orphans in…"
His voice faded into the background. It blurred like the details of her night or the details of the house. There was only one thing in focus now that she stood on the landing. Ahead of her was a door. She reached out, her hand caressing a crimson letter 'H'.
She could hear her heart thumping in her ears. James was saying something in the background, but there was nothing else. She pushed open the door.
Harry's cradle was where it had always been with the snitch mobile hanging above. The walls were pale yellow, and there was a rocking chair in one corner. A small stuffed owl took Harry's spot in the cradle. That was all that it took.
Lily clutched the owl in her arms, and she fell to her knees. A new sound now drowned out the hammering of her heart. It sounded like a wounded animal, something that needed putting out of its misery.
She didn't hear or see James kneeling beside her, nor did she feel him pulling her into his chest. There was just wailing and pain.
Perhaps, if you look closely, it's not that ambiguous at all.
