Harvelle Supernatural
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural
A/N: This is a recap chapter. Also, it goes over the topic of trauma.
Chapter 56: Healing Scars
Skylar's POV
The outback of Australia was one place to clear my mind after all that has happened. The dry heat, the humid air, and clear desert. Basically, a storm filled with anxiety was brewing inside me. Once done with clients and reschedules, I tried to find Alfie and Samandriel again, which resulted in me having visions of being cut and my brain being stabbed repeatedly. As if I was getting a lobotomy. So, Jesse's offer to come to Australia to clear my head has helped.
The distraction by helping Tony on the ranch to prevent any animals from getting on the property. Helping Sienna in her garden and raising the kids. Especially with Bobby John. The boy was a toddler now, back to being a blue eye and blond hair baby. Tony explained now and then, a shifter has to return to their first form. I especially enjoyed waking up to cuddles. If I could, I would have adopted BJ in a second, except Tony and Sienna adore him. Having a chance to raise a baby. Well, two since Castiel saved a baby girl which Sienna named Hope.
I sat on the porch staring out at the scenery, savoring the view. The little ones were inside watching a movie, while Tony took Jesse, Donnie, and Jacob to town to get supplies. The door opened as Sienna came out, taking a seat next to me.
"You trust Luna and Mace to watch over BJ and Hope?" I teased.
"I'm sure Woody and Buzz can handle them," Sienna joked and passed me a drink. "And Riot being a pillow."
I nodded, accepting and taking a sip, "The best babysitters indeed."
Sienna chuckled, taking a sip of her drink, "It's nice to take a break now and then."
"Yeah," I sighed.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"I don't know," I answered, taking another sip of my drink. "I've been off since the Leviathans, my clairvoyance being out of whack, the false hope, Sam lying, Kevin being chased, and shit. It's like I don't know who I am anymore. Doing photography helps. But I know it is a distraction."
"I know that funk," Sienna murmured. "I had it a few times. Natural witches trying to find their place in the world. The longing for a Coven and figure out what path to take."
"You've denied a coven?" I asked.
"I have one," she answered with a smile. "They're just not all witches."
I chuckled softly.
"If you like, I can try to restore your sight." She offered.
I looked at her, surprised, "What?"
"After what happened with the Leviathans, Jesse told us about your ability not working properly. So, I did my own research. I can't promise if it will work, but I think it can heal you spiritually."
I nodded, grasping her words.
"A part of you is damaged, an open wound. Might as well say Dick gave you head trauma. There is so much swelling. Sam put ice on it, except it only reduces the swelling, not cure the trauma."
"Trauma," I mumbled.
She placed her hand on my shoulder, tracing her finger along with the scars where Dick bit me. I tensed slightly, having a small flashback from that night. Sam barely touches the bite mark. At least not in a way, to be specific. Then Sienna touched the bullet wound I received back in 2009 at River Pass when fighting War. The anxiety and stress, feeling the emotions of an actual Soldier in the Middle East. The witch sensed this and pulled her hand away, eyes widen.
"You've seemed to have made a series of miracle recoveries. But it doesn't change the fact that you have experienced trauma. You have recovered physically, but not mentally." She noted.
"No doubt I have PTSD," I grumbled.
"And there's nothing wrong with that," she assured. "It's that experience or trauma can have a lasting impact on how your body responds to stress. This can affect your social, emotional, and physical development. How your claircognizance works. When humans are in crisis, the brain releases the hormone called Cortisol. Your heart races and muscles tense. Do you know what caused this?"
I paused, thinking about it. Telling her all that has happened in my life:
How my dad died before I reached the age of four to a Hellspawn while hunting with John Winchester.
Growing up in a Roadhouse outside of town, encountering many hunters over the years. However, there was not much trauma. Other than Jo and Ellen fighting about the future. Then Ash came into our lives, along with the Lightning incident when he tried to do that experiment, I thought he almost died. Gordon assaulted me when he heard I found a Vampire Nest and demanded I gave him the file.
And then the Winchesters came to my life.
At first, it was nothing.
Until I went College hunting at Springfield University, where Gabriel was under the alias as Loki, being a trickster. Using Tall Tales and Urban Legends to punish people who are dicks. There he pulled an awful prank of a kidney heist to scare me off the case.
And in May 2007, All Hell Breaks Loose, when the Roadhouse was burned down by demons, killing Ash. As I heard his screams before silence. Along with helping the Winchesters and Bobby stop Jake from opening a Devil's Gate, we failed, as he used his psychic powers to have Ellen place her gun to her head.
on February 14 2008, Ruby attacked me in the dorm's bathroom, telling me to leave the Winchesters alone.
During that Spring Break, I helped the Winchesters solve a case in Milan, Ohio, where people received phone calls from the dead and were committing suicide. I received a call from Bill, telling me to come to him…except my dad was not calling me. It was a Crocotta, a monster that feeds on people's life force by manipulating their loved ones' voices. As I witnessed the Crocotta kill and feasted on Stewie. Follow by Sam killing it.
Then in May 2008, did my claircognizance exposed itself, as I encounter a vision of Dean's death being mauled by a Hellhound. However, instead of seeing it, I experienced his pain.
In early December, I did a case in Nebraska with the Winchesters' help, thinking it was a simple ghost case. However, it was twins in the wall, being products of incest, in which Rebecca, the mother, was abused by her own father and raped her, resulting in an unwelcome pregnancy. How I almost killed the girl if Mr. Carter hadn't stepped in and stabbed the girl.
On May 2009, I experienced Sam's demon blood detox. Having hallucinations of the white eye demon name Alastair who tortured me. Feeling so ill, I burned up and fell into a small comatose. When I finally woke up, Lucifer had risen.
Later on, in May, around the 27th, Ellen, Jo, and I searched for Rufus Turner to understand my ability. Only to help him on a case in River Pass Colorado, where War had everyone believe people were demons. How I might have killed a person. Fighting Jo, and Austin, who was a marine. How War under the disguise of Roger corrupted my ability to that of an actual soldier in battle.
In October 2009, Amber passed away because Jesse was not aware of his parentage and being Cambion. How the Demon pinned me to the wall and twisted my body until Jesse stopped him and freed his mother from the Demon's control. Yet, the guilt remained for ruining Jesse's life.
Then in December 2009, was when Ellen and Jo died in Carthage. How we tried to use the Colt to kill Lucifer, in Carthage, Missouri. The demon Meg sending Hellhounds on us when Castiel vanished. Jo trying to save Dean when a hound attacked and mortally wounded her. The hours of trying to save her until Jo offered to sacrifice herself to kill the Hellhounds, so we had a chance at Lucifer. Except she couldn't move, so Ellen stayed behind. The day I saw my mom and sister die, by watching the hardware store explode. But the mission failed, as the Colt did nothing to Lucifer, and I lost my biological family.
I swore off hunting to honor Ellen and Jo. However, on Valentine's day, 2010, Lucifer appeared to me at a dance. He tricked me, putting me in a compromising position that I couldn't refuse to hear his offer, how he almost broke my hand. Offering me to serve him as a pet for Sam to say yes. I refused.
A week after that, I escaped to Bobby's, thinking I would be safe. Instead, Jesse teleported me to Australia, where I had peace for a few months. Until feeling the Winchesters confronting Zachariah, the stomach cancers symptoms for a short time and choking on blood.
Until Athena collected me to help her in the god conference, seeing humans served on a platter and Lucifer killing the gods in May 2010.
It would be June 2010, did the Winchesters tried to fight Pestilence after I collected Castiel from a hospital in Louisiana. Feeling Pestilence's side effects and choking myself unconscious only to wake up knowing the boys managed to gank Pestilence and got the ring. However, Dean went off to confront Death to get his ring to forge the key. Except, Bobby sold his soul to Crowley to get Death's location. Meanwhile, Bobby, Sam, Castiel, and I headed off to Nevada to stop Niveus Pharmaceutical to prevent Pestilence's vaccine from spreading the Croatoan virus. Killing people who were infected, followed by a demon dislocating my arm and hanging me over the rail. Castiel saved me, despite my negative feelings towards the angel. Later that night, I made love to Sam, knowing entirely well I was losing him and lost my chance.
Barely a week later, Sam went to say yes to Lucifer and failed to fall into the cage. I tried to help Dean with the others at Stull's Cemetery. Castiel molotov Michael, only to piss off Lucifer. And with a snap of the archangel fingers, has Castiel explode. Next, Bobby's neck snapped before turning to me and teleported me with a promise to punish me. I was surrounded by demons, as they try to restrain me. Fortunately, Castiel was resurrected by God and saved me. Bringing us back to Kansas, where Lucifer, Michael, Adam, and Sam were gone, trapped to the cage. Castiel healing Dean and reviving Bobby.
Except, Sam was gone.
A year later, in 2011, I was attacked by Jinns, who were seeking revenge on the Winchesters for killing their father…after my gallery being run by Crowley. I honestly thought I would die to protect Dean…but I was rescued by Sam. He returned from Hell; except he was soulless.
A month later, Sam called me to help him on a case. That is how I met Bobby John and encounter an Alpha shifter. How the father of all Shapeshifters pinned me to the wall, taking my appearance almost strangling me.
Some time passed until learning that Sam was soulless all this time.
In November 2010, did when doing a job in Elwood, Indiana, at an Alien Conference where people were being abducted. Turned out it was fairies. Although, it was not the fairies that disturbed me, Soulless Sam having sex with another woman was. And then tried to have sex with me.
The following traumatic experience afterward when Dean, Bobby, and I tried to find a way to bring back Sam's Soul. Athena showed me a method in how to replicate a soul if Dean were to fail with Death. I had to torture Sam to bring out the vulnerable emotions. I was so close…but I couldn't continue. One of my biggest regrets was torturing Sam, despite him being soulless. Yet Death was generous to give Sam his soul back with a delicate barrier.
And then Eve was brought back from Purgatory by dragons.
Rufus dies by a Khan Worm along Samuel Winchester.
In April 2011, Castiel and Balthazar saved the titanic, resulting in thousands of souls being born. A moment to have with Jo, until Atropos forced the Angels to make all things right.
When May came around the corner, the Winchesters were sent back in time to 1861, in Wyoming to get Phoenix ash. One of his comrades injured Castiel, making it impossible to retrieve Sam and Dean unless he got a recharge from a soul. He suggested I offer my gifted soul, but Bobby said no, taking my place. As I watch the angel dig his hand into Bobby's chest.
Not long after, the guys went after Eve without me, leaving me to bury a body. Eve was dead; however, Crowley was still alive and was possibly working with Castiel at the time to gain the souls of Purgatory. The betrayal of Castiel was hard. Especially when he removed the wall that was supposed to protect Sam from the memories of Hell. Seeing Sam in a catatonic state and fighting to regain his memories. When Sam came too, we rushed to help the others but were too late as Castiel absorbed the souls of Purgatory and the leviathans.
After those three weeks, I will never forget holding the Colt aimed at Castiel's chest when possessed by the Leviathans. Believing Castiel was genuinely dead. The months of paranoia to not drink the tap water or any water sources by man. Wondering when the leviathans would come after me. They repeatedly strike, chasing Sam and Dean, putting them back on the radar in a murder spree.
There were a few strange moments—a case where a psychic ghost was killing people in late September 2011 in New York. And Sam getting married to Becky Rosen in October. Not the finest memories.
Although the Leviathans' most challenging have done in late January 2012, when Dick Roman, possessed by the alpha leviathan, shot Bobby in the head. My claircognizance recognizing it as I felt the shot, rushing to the hospital in New Jersey and witnessing Bobby's death.
Only it got worse from there, after Bobby's funeral. All of us were in mourning, yet Dean put all his anger out on me for not being able to solve Bobby's final message. It broke the team apart from that I left to put Bobby's ashes to rest, next to Karen, before returning to Columbus.
A few weeks later, my worst nightmare came true as Dick Roman and other Leviathans came to Americana Magazine. They have come for me, and I watched Dick eat my boss and the others killing my coworkers before they kidnapped me.
February, March, and April, I was trapped by the Leviathans. Dick using his genetic copy trick to force my ability to track the Winchester. The pain and torture of the process were. Let alone a period of being mentally tortured by Lucifer despite him being a hallucination.
When March 2, 2011, happened. It is a day I can never forget. The Winchesters attempted to rescue me and get the Leviathan Tablet after a formal event. As I was Dick's arm candy throughout the months. Charlie, an innocent, was involved, and I sacrificed my life to protect her, and Bobby was a spirit going vengeful. God rest his soul. In the end, the Winchesters could only get Charlie out…while I watch Dick eat another leviathan who accidentally brought a borax bomb…before raping me.
And raping me again.
I hated it. Weak and vulnerable, being taken advantage of by Dick, because I was the first female he saw after escaping Purgatory and imprinted on me.
All of it got worse when Kevin Tran got involved, and I tried my best to protect him. May was all about protecting Kevin from the Leviathans because he was a Prophet of the Lord. I worked hard, despite Dick messing up my abilities to protect Kevin. Failing to protect Polly, watching her die from the creamer. How I was beaten up by Dick when trying to escape. And when the Winchesters arrived, Dean killing Dick…the explosion. Crowley double-crossing us and had a Demon stab me in the back. How I almost died.
When I told Sienna the last several years of my life, her brown eyes widen in horror.
"I didn't realize how serious this was," Sienna said. "I think all of these experiences have been subjecting your body to a harmful amount of stress. That affects your body from adjusting to new forms of stress in a healthy way, making your clairvoyance difficult to see before Sam lies. You have been dealing with genuine threats that you can't see straight, as if your body is protecting you from minor threats."
I grasped her words.
"And losing your supported relationship with Sam, and now Samandriel holding Alfie hostage, I'm surprised you haven't shut down." She added.
I felt a slight tightness in my chest. All this time, I haven't realized the trauma I've been through since 2006. Nearly six years of loved ones dying, near-death experiences, and the gruesome sight from the apocalypse. This life as a hunter was supposed to be normal. Maybe Mom was right from the beginning. I was not meant to be a hunter. I was supposed to be a researcher and live an average life…or as normal as possible. With everyone telling me to be a fighter, playing a part was too much for me mentally and physically.
Now I was broken.
Sienna rested a hand on my shoulder, "One step at a time."
I nodded, then turned my attention to the view and sip my drink.
.o0o.
The following day, Sienna worked on getting ingredients and collecting supplies. I wasn't sure what she was planning, but the coming new moon was when she intends to do the spiritual healing. Until the time has come, I was out by the fence fixing a rotten post.
"I can just warp reality to make it brand new," Jesse muttered.
"You could, but how are ya gonna explain it to others," Tony asked.
Jesse looked at him.
Tony shoved a shovel into the dirt, "I know taking the easy route is quick. But outside the ranch, people don't understand your gift."
Jesse sighed and stared at me, "I wish the underground military facility was real."
I laughed at that, "I doubt you wanted to be probed."
"I'm missing somethin'," Tony replied.
"Nothin'," I assured.
Tony shook his head as we worked on the post. After a while, we managed to repair the post. Jesse tossed a ball; which Riot went after it. Jesse chased after the dog. I sat on the tail of the truck, pulling out a canteen to drink. Tony came over, offering a cigarette.
"You know those can cause cancer," I warned.
"Not for me," Tony replied, offering me one. "At least not with a ciggy."
I shook my head.
"It's nice to have help on the ranch," Tony said. "Sure, the boys do their share, but the complaining."
"What did you expect from three teenagers," I teased.
Tony scoffed, "Still, you ever consider movin' down under?"
"I'm fine in Texas," I assured him. "I don't think I can handle the constant heat."
"Ain't Texas like Australia?" he asked.
"Nope, there some winter winds," I answered, swaying my legs. "I just hope I can find myself."
"You will," he assured. "Everyone finds their place. It may take some time."
I nodded.
"You've mentioned the Winchesters are gonna lock up Hell," he started.
"That's the plan," I confirmed. "Close all the Gates and send every shadow-bitches down. Maybe Hellhounds too. Eliminate one evil from the world."
"Yet evil still roams in the hearts of men and monsters," Tony sighed.
I glanced at him, "Ya okay?"
Tony shrugged, taking a swig, "There are days I wonder if I'm doing enough."
"You are doing more than enough," I said. "You've changed my perspective on monsters. You've helped these kids when no one wants them. If they were in America… they're most likely gonna be dead in their adult life. Either it's by a hunter or by one of their own kind."
Tony nodded until his phone rang. He set the cigarette down and answered it, "Hey sweetie…yeah, she's with me…alright… I'll send her over."
Afterward, he hangs up. I teased, saying, "Sweetie."
"Oh, shut it, Yankee, Sienna wants you over," Tony grumbled.
I chuckled, getting off the truck, "Mind if I take the UTV?"
"Get," Tony said.
I nodded, getting on the utility terrain vehicle, and drove back to the house. Once I got there, Sienna was on the porch getting things inside the jeep. I parked the UTV and walked over to her. She turned around, giving a smile.
"You ready?" she asked.
"Shouldn't we wait until Tony gets back?" I replied
"Don't worry, Donnie has eyes on the kids," she answered. "I want to get to the reservation before it gets dark."
I nodded, seeing my pursed already in the jeep. So, with nothing else to say, Sienna got in the driver's seat and headed towards the road. Music was playing on the radio, but I was not paying attention to the lyrics. Although I did smile now and then when Sienna sang off-beat or out of tune. There were a few stops for gas and food before time passed.
"Where are we heading anyway?" I asked.
"A small town where I came from. You be surprised that most Aussies don't even know it exists. And that is how my tribe keeps it that way. There's a small creek that holds healing waters. Not for the physical realm but for the emotional."
It was a long journey to get to the small town where Sienna was from. The area being spaced out, with dirt roads. In the far distance, I could make out a small creek Sienna parted a car in front of a house where an elderly woman stood on the porch waiting. She came over with a slight smile on her face, wearing the same talisman as Sienna. I'm assuming she was Sienna's mentor.
"Skylar, this is my mentor Tanika," Sienna introduced.
"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Tanika," I said.
"No need for formality," Tanika said as she came over and touched my hand. I sensed a presence as she closed her eyes, taking a large deep breath. "So much sorrow."
I sighed.
"Come, let's eat before we do the cleanse," Tanika said, as she let go leading the way inside her home.
Sienna and I followed her. Inside the house was bare essential, until what was supposed to be the dining room held ancient relics, herbs, and materials that would define witchcraft, but not the same to Western Standards. The radio was playing, and it took me a moment to realize it was soul music.
"Sienna told me you've been struggling with your gift," Tanika announced. "A monster severed it?"
"Yes," I replied.
"May I ask what type of monster?" she asked. "I sense it is something not from here."
I took a deep breath, "By the first beast. A leviathan."
"Ah," she noted.
She gestured for us to sit down at the table while she walked over to the kitchen. After a moment, she came back with two plates of food before getting herself a plate.
"Eat, tonight will be a tedious task," she said, then looked at Sienna. "Did you bring the ingredients?"
"Yes," Sienna confirmed.
Tanika nodded.
We ate as Tanika and Sienna talked about the ranch. Tanika going over things that can help the children. I can tell that Sienna respects and admires her mentor dearly. A dedicated teacher that makes the student honor.
Dinner was meat, peas, and root vegetables. I ate what was given. I can tell that the meat was a bit wild, yet it did not hold a gamey taste. In fact, it was soft and tender. But it wasn't beef or pork.
"Meats good," I noted.
"Well, I marinated kangaroo all day," Tanika said.
I stopped chewing and looked at her in horror. Tanika and Sienna started laughing at my reaction.
"Kangaroos are abundant here," Tanika explained. "Some would consider them a pest."
"Don't worry, it's not like you're eating a bald eagle," Sienna added.
I nodded, chewing the rest of the bite, and swallowed. Sienna merely snickered at my reaction. Not wanting to offend Tanika, I continued to eat what is on my plate. And I thought eating buffalo was exotic. Guess I'm mistaken yet again.
Once we were done eating, Sienna drafted us to do the dishes while Tanika got ready for tonight. We listen to music in comfortable silence. I find it strange how comforting it was here in a witch's house. If Sam and Dean were here, they would have barged in guns blazing or feel disturbed in the presence of a witch or warlock. Then again, they've had encounter witches who borrow magic from demons. Sienna once explained that some Covens, especially the Western Grand Coven that can be very zealous and controlling. They believe there are three types of witches: Borrowers, Naturals, and Students. Except there is the fourth kind that comes from the ancient practice of the native people who derive their magic from nature.
After doing the dishes, Tanika came out wearing a traditional garment of her tribe, "Let's get going."
Sienna nodded as we headed off to the jeep. I've got into the back, allowing Tanika to take the passenger seat. Sienna drove to the creek, parking on the other side away from the town. There was a hut, as stones were assembled. We got out of the jeep as Sienna and Tanika started assembling the ritual.
I offered to help, but Tanika told me not to. Just to wait in the jeep. I sighed, feeling useless. Leaning back in the chair, I look up at the stars seeing them much clearer than in America. Out in the Outback, you can see the stars far clearly. No cities were polluting the night sky. Just looking up, losing track of time, when Sienna open the door. It startled me, causing me to jump.
"Sorry," Sienna chuckled. "We're ready."
I nodded, getting out of the car. There was a campfire, the fragrance of eucalyptus filled the air. There was a blanket on the ground with rocks, crystals, and herbs. Tanika was on the ground gesturing for me to sit down on the blanket facing her.
Sienna sat down behind me.
"Let me see your hands," Tanika requested.
I gave her my hands as she took it, examining them. She wasn't staring at the lines like a fortune teller. No, she was feeling my fingers and palms.
"Hands that have created art," she murmured. "Hands that have killed. But not through murder, but protecting. These hands have touched herbs, crystals, and pages of books. All these little cuts to seek knowledge." She traced the scar on my left hand. "And a scar that should not be."
I sighed, thinking about Jo.
"You have lost so much," Tanika continued. "You have lost your family. Some of your friends. Along with your faith. And most importantly, you have lost yourself. All these things that made you have been taken and your path vanished beneath your feet. Unable to see clearly."
She let go of my hand to grab a cup and brought it to my lips. I can tell it was a type of tea and drank it. It was bitter and fruity at the same time. I drank the rest of the content. Tanika removed the cup, set it down, grabbed the eucalyptus, and gently brushed the leaves along my arms and forehead. She spoke and sang in a different language. It was no Latin. It was the language of her tribe. I closed my eyes, feeling the soft brushes. Although I do not understand what it was, similar when you listen to opera or an orchestra, the words were enticing. You don't need translated words to understand the power of healing.
Suddenly there was water being poured on the top of my head. I tensed at first, not expecting, yet I knew it was Sienna pouring water from the creek. The chanting filling my ears, along with the sounds of nature all around. The wind softly blowing through. The sounds of the animals near and far. In the far distance, a radio was playing. Voices of family and friends chatting together. All the sounds that many would find intimidating, overwhelming…but return back to Tanika's voice.
The water pouring along my body over and over again. The eucalyptus brushing along my skin. Other than sight and taste, all my senses were being heightened. Magic or not, I was feeling all the anxiety and stress being washed and brushed away.
I took deep breaths savoring this experience.
Time seemed to vanish.
The world around me seemed to vanish.
All I felt was me, my emotions, and nature.
"Skylar," Sienna murmured.
I opened my eyes, staring at Tanika to realize it was nearly dawn. My eyes widen, glancing over my shoulder to see Sienna giving a reassuring smile. I felt exhausted, as if I was up all night, despite my eyes being closed. At the same time, the weight has been lifted.
"How?" I asked.
Tanika rested her hand on my shoulder, "When you focus on yourself, time seems to vanish. However, this is only the first step of healing. There will be pain in the future and loss. Along with it comes healing and acceptance. Knowing the past made who you are. It made you stronger. Strong as the earth beneath us. Open as the air. And flexible as the water. Nature shows guidance."
I nodded.
Tanika placed her hand on my heart, "And the fire will grow again."
I placed my hand over hers, giving a squeeze, "Thank you."
Sienna gave me a hug.
We stayed like this, watching the sunrise of a brand-new day.
I know the trauma from all these years remained. It will take time, only now I am ready to move forward. Not hide.
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