August 1968
For the first time in the six months since she had given birth to her, Serena was going to leave Olivia. She had taken the fall semester off from school because she was pregnant, the spring semester when Olivia was born and, although Elizabeth Cabot had offered to watch Olivia while Serena was in summer school, she still insisted on taking the summer off as well. For months, Serena spent most of her time in her apartment bonding with her baby and, when the weather was warm, they spent their time together in Central Park with Elizabeth and Alex. Olivia was her world and being with her daughter was when she felt the most at peace, but late August brought the start of the fall semester and Serena knew if she wanted to graduate there was no more putting off school any longer.
"Serena Benson, I don't want to hear any more excuses," Elizabeth told her while she lingered in the living room of the Cabot residence. "You took an entire year off, but now it's time to go back and finish your senior year. If not for you, do it for Olivia. She wants her mom to get her B.A. and then go to graduate school and become Professor Benson and show her that her mom is strong enough to overcome anything."
Serena held Olivia close, giving her kisses on the cheek that made her six-month-old giggle and squeal. "Do you want to stay with your best friend Alexandra while mommy goes to school?" she asked her daughter in a playful voice. "Mommy loves you so much, Olivia, and I'll be here to pick you up in four hours."
Knowing that Olivia would be spending more time there, Elizabeth had purchased a large playpen and padded it with a cushion for the girls' naptime. Alex may have only been three-months-old but she was able to recognize her best friend's face. She'd smile and squeal whenever she saw Olivia and that morning was no different.
"You know what, Serena, if you had a boy instead of a girl, I'd say Alexandra was trying to sweet talk her future husband," Elizabeth said. Her gaze was fixed upon the two baby girls who were now in the playpen and, just as she always did, Alex squealed and cooed at the sight of Olivia.
Serena reached in to adjust the floral headband her daughter was wearing. It resembled a flower crown and Serena considered it the perfect accessory for her little flowerchild. "Or maybe she's sweet-talking her future wife. Love is a beautiful thing and my daughter will be free to love whomever she chooses."
"Serena!" Elizabeth laughed. "What happened to the girl who used to go to Young Republicans meetings with me?"
"She freed herself from her parents' mindset," Serena responded. "All my life, I've lived by my parents' rules. Their ideologies were my ideologies. I tried to be the ideal daughter and look where it got me. Yes, they send me money every month, but neither of my parents have talked to me since I told them I wasn't going to have an abortion. Besides, they claim to be against abortion, so why was it okay for them to practically force me to get one? From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I hoped I'd have a daughter, just like you did. Now that we have them, don't you want something more for them-more than what we had? Don't you remember what it was like for little girls when we were growing up?"
"Don't get your dress dirty," Elizabeth wagged her finger at Serena and used a mocking tone of voice. "Proper young ladies are not to roughhouse with the boys."
Serena laughed as she used the same mocking tone that Elizabeth used. "Sugar and spice and everything nice-that's what little girls are made of." She shook her head. "Oh, I absolutely hated that my brothers were able and even encouraged to climb trees and run around outside while I was kept indoors and told to play with baby dolls and tea sets. It's as if everything I was encouraged to play with was all in preparation for me to become a mother and then I become a mother and this is how they treat me."
Serena then felt the comfort of Elizabeth's embrace. "That's because you didn't become the kind of mother they wanted you to be. You're not June Cleaver. You're not some '50s style housewife, but it no longer matters what they want. Be the kind of mother you want to be. Wear that daisy in your hair and that peace sign medallion with pride and give Olivia all the little flowers you want to."
"Look at them, Lizzie," Serena said as she gazed adoringly at the two little ones. "The world out there is changing and they're so innocent and so blissfully unaware. I want my Olivia-I want both of them-to grow up knowing they can accomplish anything and that being a girl isn't something to be ashamed of. They don't have to be docile or agreeable. They can be loud, fight back, and take up as much space as they want to. Our girls can have it all and I know they're going to be something special."
It was now five minutes past the time she was supposed to leave, but Serena didn't care. She picked up her little girl one last time so she could give her some goodbye kisses and cuddles. My Olivia. As much as I want you to stay this little, I'm so excited to see who you become.
