Inuyasha was trying not to worry, he really was. He'd been watching Kagome closely since she'd brought him his new clothes that morning and he didn't like what he saw. Her usually bright smile looked forced, she was pale, there were bags under her eyes, and she looked like she was struggling just to stay upright. He didn't smell any sickness on her so either she hadn't slept at all last night or, a more alarming possibility, the headaches were taking an actual, physical toll on her body. He hoped it was only the former but a sinking feeling in his gut told him it was probably the latter.
He'd spent a lot of time the night before thinking about the headaches and what they were doing to her. No matter how many times he told himself that there was no possible way for him to have known he still felt a burning guilt when he recalled the incident in front of the sacred tree. She'd been in so much pain, the stench of her fear and agony burned his nose and made his stomach churn. 'My fault, it's my fault,' he'd told himself, over and over. 'I'm supposed to protect her, keep her safe. But I caused her so much pain instead. What if…?'
All through their question and answer session he'd watched, seeing her struggle to concentrate, smelling her anxiety. He'd wanted to stop her, tell her to get more rest. But the longer he let this go on the more likely it was he would accidentally remember something else. What if she didn't recover next time? What if it...what if he killed her?
So he kept his thoughts solely focused on the last few days. It wasn't much help as far as moving forward went but it kept his mind away from thoughts that could hurt Kagome.
When she suggested they start talking about her dreams and visions, Inuyasha had taken advantage of the break in her questioning to suggest they eat something. Well, he suggested ramen specifically but his goal was to get Kagome to eat with the hope that food would help bring some life back into her. He hadn't anticipated that the stupid woman would want to go out into the smelly, noisy city to get the food and 'oh, by the way, while we're out let's get some more clothes'. He couldn't even argue with her the way he usually did because he was too afraid to wear her out even more.
So here they were, sitting at a table in a little ramen shop, surrounded by dozens of other people, waiting for someone to bring them their food.
"Inuyasha, you don't have to glare at everyone. Would you relax a little? I swear you've had your arms crossed since we left the shrine," she said, letting a little agitation into her voice. She softened her voice before continuing, "The food will be out soon and I promise it'll be better than the instant stuff. It'll be worth the trip out." She put a hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to look at her.
"Keh. I like the instant stuff." He finally looked at her, taking in her tired expression. He sighed and let his arms fall to his sides. His glare morphed into a concerned expression and he gently chided her "You should be resting. And don't argue," he cut her off, seeing her mouth start to open to protest, "I can see how exhausted you are. I'm just...I'm worried about you Kagome."
"I'm alright Inuyasha, really. We need to get you some more clothes so we were going to have to come out anyway," she explained. "I promise we'll head back to the shrine as soon as we're done. I'll even take a nap when we get back."
"Fine," he sighed, "but we're not talking about anything else until you've rested."
"Fair enough. Oh, here's the food!"
Inuyasha had to admit, the ramen smelled divine. They ate in silence, stealing glances back and forth when they each thought the other wasn't looking. Inuyasha practically inhaled the contents of his bowl, begrudgingly admitting to himself that the ramen was actually worth the extra trip. Especially so since it seemed to perk Kagome up.
They left the ramen shop and Kagome led them to a clothing store a couple blocks away. They chatted a little on the way, Inuyasha letting her do most of the talking. He had time on the way to contemplate just how easy it was for Kagome to get him to agree to this little adventure. He'd only put up a small fight, and not just because of her exhaustion. He hadn't regretted his decision yet but he had a feeling their next stop wouldn't be quite as pleasant as their first.
He really hated it when he was right.
Once inside the clothing store, Kagome immediately started grabbing clothes for him to try on, shoving it all into his hands as they went. They were getting odd looks from the other people in the shop but she seemed completely oblivious to their stares. She even managed to grab a few pairs of shoes for him to try on, which he grumbled at but took anyway to carry for her. He did not, however, complain. Kagome had her usual, brilliant smile back and Inuyasha was determined not to mess that up. He still worried she was pushing herself but seeing her smile and hearing her giggle at the disgruntled faces he was making lightened his heart and lessened the anxiety he'd been feeling for the last 4 days.
Then Kagome shoved him into a little room with a tall mirror on one wall, stepped in behind him, and shut the door and a different kind of anxiety took over. He turned to face her and hissed, "What the hell, woman?! There's not even enough room in here for me!" They barely had a foot of space separating them.
"Relax Inuyasha, I just want to sort through your clothes." She maneuvered him against the door and started taking each article of clothing from him, hanging the shirts on the wall to his left and organizing the pants on the little bench underneath. She put everything in a specific order and began instructing him on which shirts to try with which pants. "When you get a combination you like let me know and I'll see how you look. Got it? Are you pouting? Seriously, what are you, seven?"
"Keh this is stupid. I'm telling you there's nothing wrong with my normal clothes," he argued, pout firmly in place.
"Well I'm telling you that your normal clothes are anything but normal in this time. And anyway, the quicker you get this over with the sooner I can go home and rest. So stop arguing ok? Please?" she begged, giving him a slightly pleading look.
"Dammit fine," he relented. He started to take off his hoodie, still standing in front of the door.
"Inuyasha! Let me leave first," Kagome squeaked, face flushing as she pushed past him and out the door.
He chuckled and turned to the wall of garments. "Still think this is stupid," he grumbled to himself.
He spent the next half hour trying on clothes, grumbling about stupid women and their stupid ideas the entire time. In the end they left with four shirts, two pairs of jeans, two zip-up hoodies, a pack of boxer shorts (much to Inuyasha's embarrassment after Kagome explained their purpose), two packs of socks, and a pair of red and white running shoes. The shoes were still a point of contention but she'd managed to find a comfortable pair that didn't pinch his toes. Inuyasha decided it could have been worse.
The trip back to the shrine was uneventful. Kagome kept a steady conversation going, mostly explaining things about the modern world to her time-traveling companion. When they got closer to the shrine Inuyasha stopped walking and insisted that Kagome climb on his back for the rest of the trip. She tried to protest but she was too tired to put up much of a fight, which really highlighted why he wanted to carry her anyway.
Once back at the shrine, Inuyasha set Kagome on her feet at the top of the steps. They made their way to the well house where they planned to hide the evidence of their shopping trip behind the well. Then they made their way into the house, Kagome calling a greeting to her mother in the kitchen.
"Welcome back dear. How did the sightseeing go?" her mother greeted as the pair entered the kitchen.
"Good. Yash really liked the ramen shop we went to," she answered, using the nickname Inuyasha had decided against, earning a glare from the hanyo. Kagome returned his glare with a wink before continuing, "We're gonna head upstairs so he can help me study for my make-up tests tomorrow."
"Alright, I'll let you two know when dinner is ready. Would you like some tea while you study?"
"Thank you Mama but I think we'll be alright until dinner," she said then tugged on Inuyasha's sleeve to get his attention.
They made their way upstairs and closed themselves in Kagome's room. Inuyasha immediately pushed her towards her bed, determined that she should get as much sleep as possible before waking up for dinner.
"What are you going to do while I'm asleep?" Kagome mumbled, fighting a yawn. She crawled into bed and pulled her covers up over herself.
"Wait for you to wake up. Don't worry about me, just get some sleep will ya?"
"Fine, fine. On my desk-" she couldn't fight the yawn this time, "is the journal I've been writing stuff down in for the last few days. You can look at it while I'm sleeping."
"Alright, now go to sleep," he gently scolded. He gave her blanket-covered leg a few awkward pats earning a contented hum and a smile from Kagome. She was asleep within seconds.
Inuyasha picked her journal up from her desk and settled himself with his back to her bed. He could read and write at a very basic level. His mother had started teaching him at a young age, trying to give him every advantage knowing how difficult his life may be. He'd also spent some time glancing through the books Kagome carried with her, when she wasn't looking of course. So he should be able to get some information from her journal.
He started flipping through pages, focusing on the characters he recognized. He understood enough to know she was dreaming about the tree and the well. He recognized descriptions of himself (red clothes and dog ears, who else would that be?) in almost all of the entries. There was something about a child with a tail in one entry (probably Shippo, fuck, if he had to tell her about him…) and another passage that talked about a sword and a giant dog with red eyes (great, and he might have to explain Sesshomaru).
He closed the journal and set it on the floor to his right. He let his head fall back to rest on the bed and closed his eyes. He felt like he needed a nap himself.
It didn't take long for Kikyo to locate her target; Naraku was clearly waiting for her. She readied her bow, prepared to strike if need be.
"Not concealing your youki anymore, Naraku? You must be feeling confident."
Naraku appeared several feet away amongst the trees, his barrier glowing around him. "Kikyo, I'm surprised to see you alone. Where are your companions?"
"They're not far," she lied. "What about you? Did you not bring any of your creations with you?"
"I have no need of them to deal with you. How is Inuyasha by the way? Are you two enjoying traveling together?" he asked with his usual confidence.
"Don't start with your games, we both know why I'm here. What is the purpose of the fake shard and what have you done to Inuyasha?"
"What makes you think I did anything?" Naraku chuckled and looked around. "Where is Inuyasha, by the way? Waiting nearby to strike or..." he paused and focused back on Kikyo,
"Perhaps he's abandoned you, run away to that girl he's been talking about. What was her name? Kagome, I believe."
Kikyo loosed an arrow to Naraku's left and immediately readied another one. "I told you no games. What have you done to Inuyasha?"
He ignored her question, continuing his taunts, "Has he gone through the well to see her yet?" He took great satisfaction in the look of rage he was eliciting. "I see. Abandoned you already, has he?"
"Who is she? How does Inuyasha know her and I do not?" she demanded.
"I thought you wanted to know about the shard. That is why you're here after all."
"Just answer the question Naraku. Who is Kagome and how does Inuyasha know her?"
Naraku gave her a look of smug satisfaction. "She's your reincarnation. And she holds Inuyasha's heart. How does that make you feel, Kikyo? Does that make you unhappy?"
"Don't be ridiculous. Inuyasha's heart belongs to me," she seethed, not bothering to hide her anger. "How can she be my reincarnation when I'm still here?"
"She's from the future. Where do you think the well goes? It takes him to her and brings her here to him."
"I don't believe you." She let another arrow fly, closer this time. "This is all just a part of your game to turn me against Inuyasha."
"Do you really believe that? He's probably with her right now you know. He's plotting how to get her back so he can push you to the side again, replace you, abandon you."
She drew another arrow. "I've been with him for months, Naraku. He's had no opportunity to replace me and he certainly hasn't abandoned me"
"Oh hasn't he? Then where is he?" When Kikyo didn't answer he continued, "Has he been acting like you're together this whole time? Or was he too concerned about her to worry about you?"
"You don't know what you're talking about, he-"
"Did he take the first chance he had to run to her?"
"Stop it!"
"Did he sneak off and leave you behind?"
"Enough!" She sent another arrow soaring past him, crackling against the barrier.
"He's with her right now."
"You won't trick us again!" She let one more arrow fly, directly at the barrier this time, where it exploded in a flash of light. When the light cleared Naraku was gone.
His disembodied voice echoed around her, "His heart belongs to her. You just need to accept that and let yourself hate them. Hate them both for daring to replace you."
Kikyo didn't think about where she was going, too angry to care. She stalked through the trees, hate and jealousy warring in her heart. "Inuyasha belongs to me. His heart, his life, is mine. I will not be replaced. I will not be left behind. If I have to claim his life tomorrow then that is what I'll do. He will not forget me!"
Her shinidamachu danced around her, her hair swirling in the wind. She was too focused on her thoughts of Inuyasha and Kagome to realize that she'd given Naraku exactly what he wanted.
Kagome is standing in front of the sacred tree. There's no more fog so she can see she's in a forest. Her feet still won't move but she isn't worried, this is where she's supposed to be. She has a task, she has to fix things. She can hear the voice clearly now, delivering a new message for her. "Your soul blocks your path." It doesn't make sense but dreams rarely do. A black light shines in front of her, coming from the tree. It is impure, tainted, distorting the air around it. Black smoke starts to pour from the tiny hollow in the smooth bark, pooling on the ground around Kagome's feet. It rises around her legs, feeling like cold liquid on her skin. She tries to flee but her feet still won't move. It reaches her hips and Kagome can no longer feel her legs. She is being consumed, erased. It's to her chest and she struggles to breath. She manages one last indrawn gasp of breath that she lets out in a scream of terror.
Inuyasha is jolted awake by the sound of Kagome's scream. He was next to her in an instant, taking in the tears and the panicked look on her face. She was sitting up, clutching at her chest and looking frantically around the room. He knelt on the bed next to her and gently grabbed her shoulders, turning her so she was looking directly at him.
"Kagome! What the hell happened?!"
It took her a second to recognize her surroundings, struggling to banish the feeling of hopelessness left behind by the dream. Inuyasha's hands on her shoulders snapped her back to reality and brought the room around her into focus.
"These dreams are getting ridiculous," she breathed.
Inuyasha looked thoughtful, recalling what he'd read. "Were you dreaming of the tree?" He realized he was still holding her shoulders and let his hands drop to the bed.
She nodded, still looking a little dazed. "It was-"
Her mother burst into the room then, stopping just inside the door. "Kagome, are you alright?" She took in the sight of the two sitting on the bed and walked over to sit with them.
"Mama, I'm alright," she tried to assure her mother.
"I heard you scream. Are you sure you're ok? I thought you were supposed to be studying."
"I got tired so I laid down for a little bit. I just wanted a short nap, that's all." She was fidgeting a little, not wanting to reveal too much.
Her mother gave Inuyasha a very direct look. "Would one of you tell me what's going on please?"
"Kagome had..." he started, unsure of how much to reveal, "Kagome had a nightmare. I think." He looked at Kagome for confirmation.
She nodded. "Yeah. I'm ok Mama, just a bad dream."
Her mother sighed and looked between them again. "Well I'm glad Inuyasha was in here to snap you out of it."
Inuyasha and Kagome gave each other a wide-eyed look then turned their attention back to Mrs. Higurashi.
"Oops." The older woman put her fingers to her lips.
"How'd you…?" Kagome started.
"How the hell…?" Inuyasha tried to ask at the same time.
They both stopped, not quite sure what to make of the new development.
"I guess I should explain…" her mother trailed off. She sighed. "Why don't we talk after dinner? Sota and your grandfather don't remember anything so keep your act up for a bit, ok?" With that she popped off the bed and made a quick escape, closing the door behind her and leaving her daughter and Inuyasha staring after her with twin looks of disbelief.
It was a few minutes before Inuyasha finally broke the silence. "What the hell just happened?"
Kagome was still a little stunned. "I'm not sure. I guess she remembers you."
"You guess? Why the fuck didn't she say anything?!" He was pissed and the more he thought about it the angrier he became. "What if I didn't show up? Was she just gonna let you go on thinking I didn't exist?"
"I don't know, Inuyasha. I'm sure she had a good reason-"
He cut her off. "There's no good reason for lying to you!" He stood up, needing to move.
"Inuyasha, listen-"
"No, you listen! What if the well didn't work!? What if I couldn't come and get you?!" all of his fears were bubbling to the surface now.
"Keep your voice down! I don't think-"
"What about the damn headaches?! I'd have never known they were hurting you!" He was a little frantic now, thinking about all the ways he could have lost her for good if he hadn't been able to use the well.
"Will you let me talk? It doesn't really matter anyway cause you're already here, right?" she pleaded, trying to reign in his anger.
"Of course it matters!" He was shouting now. "You were having those headaches for days before I showed up! What would you have done about that, huh?!"
"I don't know!" she said, her voice now rising with his.
"You'd be stuck here, in fucking pain, nobody to protect you!" 'You could've died,' he didn't add but the thought was there.
"I live here, I wouldn't exactly consider that stuck!"
"Yeah? What about Naraku and the Jewel? What about Sango, Miroku, and Shippo?" He wanted to add 'what about me?' but resisted.
"I don't remember any of them though! As far as I know my whole life is here, everyone I know is here!" She realized she was yelling and lowered her voice. "My family is here. Maybe I'd have been fine if-"
"Don't say it," he growled. "Don't you dare."
She stopped then and took in the look on his face. He didn't look angry anymore...he looked scared. Why would he be scared?
"You could've died," he finally voiced his fear, his voice strained slightly with emotion. "I could've lost you."
"Inuyasha," she said, softly. "I don't want to fight with you." She didn't. She may not be able to remember anything about him, about them, but some of the emotions were still there. They were supposed to care about each other, that much she was sure of. She just didn't know how deep those feelings went. If the look on his face and the emotion in his voice were anything to go by then she guessed 'complicated' didn't even begin to scratch the surface.
She got up off the bed and walked over to him. He was tense, his hands balled into fists at his sides, claws digging into his palms. She took his hands, one at a time, and uncurled them. "You're bleeding."
He pulled his hands away and let them drop back, uncurled. "Don't worry about it. They're already healing." He met her eyes, expression unreadable.
"Inuyasha, what am I to you?" she repeated her question from the night before. "Are we...I mean," she sighed, not sure how to ask her question. "It's just, the way you act with me, how you look at me, I know you said it's complicated but are we...are we together? Like, together?" She took a step closer, closing the gap between them.
He should've said no, it's not the time to talk about it, it's complicated, there's too much going wrong at the moment, we've got too much to worry about. He should've looked away, moved back a step, jumped out the window maybe. Instead he just stood there, looking at her, watching her lean towards him.
He didn't react at first when she pressed her lips against his, still busy frantically telling himself to do something besides stand there like an idiot. Luckily for him (or unluckily depending on which part of his brain you asked) Kagome was persistent and gave his brain enough time to make a decision.
He was still telling himself it was a bad idea when he let his eyes slide closed, still debating jumping out the window when he let his lips mold to hers. Shit, he was in trouble.
Her hands came up to rest on his chest and his went to her back to pull her against him. His brain finally stopped protesting when he felt her lips part, encouraging him to do the same. Their tongues met and they began to explore the new territory, fumbling but enjoying it anyway.
When Inuyasha finally broke the kiss several minutes (or hours or seconds, he couldn't tell) later they were both breathing a little heavy. Inuyasha pressed his forehead against hers, fighting an internal battle not to say anything stupid like, "We really shouldn't be doing that." Fuck, so much for that.
She pulled back and met his eyes. "Why not?"
Shit, why shouldn't they be doing that again? Kikyo, Naraku, jewel shards, missing memories...it all seemed unimportant compared to what he was currently feeling. But, "Because, it's just-"
"Complicated," they both said together.
"Do you regret it?" she asked.
"Not at all," he answered honestly. "But I mean it, we really shouldn't be going down that road right now. There's too much going on, too much that could go wrong."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you into something you didn't want." She tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let her, pulling her a little closer instead.
"I told you I don't regret it so-"
"It's alright," she cut him off. "This is just a lot to take in. I have this whole life that I can't remember. I'm having dreams and visions and getting these painful headaches and my side is burning and nothing makes sense. Then you show up and somehow the strange man I found in a well in the middle of the night feels like the only thing that does make sense and -" She was rambling, still trying to pull out of his embrace.
"Kagome," he interrupted and tightened his hold, "stop, it's alright. We're gonna figure this out, I promise. You just need to trust me. Can you do that?"
She finally stopped struggling and met his eyes. Did she trust him? It was a surprisingly easy question to answer. She trusted him with her life. "I trust you Inuyasha. I know we'll fix this, it's just a little overwhelming at times."
Inuyasha finally loosened his hold and let her step away. "We really need to talk to your mother though, find out what she knows."
"Yeah, you're right. It's strange that she would remember things even I can't." She moved towards the door and motioned for Inuyasha to follow. "Come on, dinner should be about ready anyway."
Dinner was awkward. Inuyasha was trying not to shoot agitated looks at Kagome's mother and Kagome spent most of the time kicking him under the table when he did it anyway. None of this went unnoticed by Sota or her grandfather who kept trying to ask what was going on. Her mother spent most of dinner diverting those questions and trying to keep normal conversation going. It was the longest dinner Kagome had ever sat through.
Kagome volunteered to help with cleanup so they could get her mother alone sooner. Once her other two family members were off to enjoy the rest of their evening and the dishes were done and put away it was time to find out what was going on.
"Alright dear," her mother started, "I guess it's time to explain myself. Why don't we go outside to keep away from any eavesdroppers?"
Inuyasha and Kagome agreed and they all made their way outside.
Miroku and Sango were having a strange few days. They were both trying to make sense of Inuyasha's strange behavior then disappearance, Kikyo's anger then her disappearance, and Kaede's insistence that they avoid Kikyo if possible.
"Listen you two, there has been a strange aura coming from the forest for four days now. I am sure it is the cause of my sister's and Inuyasha's odd actions. If possible you must avoid Kikyo. I fear she may do something drastic."
"Kaede, what makes you think that?" Miroku inquired. "Inuyasha has been acting much more out of character than your sister."
"I have cause to suspect that my sister may intend to harm Inuyasha. She wanted me to seal him in an abandoned hut if he were to come back while she was gone.
"She's probably just worried about him running off again before she can talk to him," Sango interjected. "He was acting like she didn't belong with us, like some other woman was supposed to be there instead."
"Ah yes, Kagome. My sister mentioned her. She told me Inuyasha jumped into the bone eaters well and that she suspected he was going to find that woman."
Miroku looked thoughtful at that. "He jumped into a well?"
"Yes, Kikyo said he jumped into the well and disappeared in a flash of light. It's possible it is some type of passage to another place or perhaps even another time. Yokai bones that are disposed of in the well vanish after a time, leaving no trace of their existence. Those bones would have to go somewhere, wouldn't they? We can only assume that Inuyasha has gone wherever the well takes the bones."
Sango looked horrified. "What if he's dead then? What if the well just ate him like it does the bones instead of taking him somewhere? That's reckless, even for Inuyasha!"
"I don't believe Inuyasha would have used the well unless he already knew that it took him somewhere," Miroku reasoned. "Maybe there is some merit behind what he was saying after all. Is it possible the aura coming from the forest is some magic meant to make us forget this Kagome woman?"
"If that's the case," Sango started, "then why can Inuyasha remember her and we can't? And it doesn't explain his behavior towards Kikyo. They may not get along all the time but I was under the impression that he was supposed to be in love with her."
Miroku made an amused noise. "I was under the impression that he tolerated her out of obligation and threat of subjugation. It's not like he shares a bed with her at night."
"Miroku! Don't be crass," Sango scolded.
Kaede cleared her throat. "I wonder. The evil aura is strongest in the direction of the sacred tree. I haven't gone to look myself but if someone used the tree to perform some evil magic it is possible it would affect Inuyasha in a different way or possibly not at all. He was sealed to the tree for 50 years so he has a connection to it that others do not."
Miroku perked up at that. "If it is the tree then surely Naraku is involved. Who else would use that connection to manipulate us? Maybe he's trying to turn Inuyasha and Kikyo against each other again using the other woman."
"Or maybe," Sango started, "his main goal was to just get rid of Kagome. Inuyasha asked Kikyo where Kagome was like Kikyo may have done something to her. He also-" she gasped "he also said she broke the jewel! He said Kagome broke the jewel and that she'd been traveling with us for months."
"He also went out of his way to separate us from Kikyo like her presence would cause us to hide things. And when Kikyo argued he told her she'd been on her own already, like she didn't normally travel with us." Miroku mentally kicked himself. "We should have been paying more attention instead of treating him like he'd gone mad."
"Don't be too hard on yourself Miroku," Kaede said. "The important thing is we use the information we have now to figure this out and set things right. I'm afraid my sister is on the wrong path in that regard. I don't believe her and Inuyasha are meant to be anymore, not in this life and possibly not even in the next. It is too easy for Naraku to come between them, even after all these months of traveling together. Kikyo may be planning something drastic and, if she crossed paths with Naraku, the consequences could be disastrous."
"We have to do something'" Sango concluded. "And we have to do it soon."
Miroku stood and walked to the door. "I think our first order of business should be to investigate this evil aura and find its source." He motioned for Kaede and Sagno to follow. "Let's go."
