Kagome came back to consciousness slowly. She could feel the weight of her blanket and she tried to push it off but her body wouldn't move. She could hear birds outside her window so she knew it must be daytime. Her eyes felt glued shut and she struggled to open them.
She tried to talk, to call out for her mother or Inuyasha, but it only came out as a whimper. Someone must have been nearby though because she felt a cool cloth being pressed to her forehead.
"Kagome? Can you hear me?" came her mother's concerned voice.
"Mama," she finally managed to croak. It took a few more tries but she eventually managed to crack open her eyes. The light was blinding though and she quickly squeezed them shut again.
She heard rustling and the light dimmed against her eyelids. She slowly opened her eyes again and turned her head so she could see her mother.
"Mama, what happened? Where's…?" she cut off, afraid to ask where he was, their parting coming back to her in a rush.
"Inuyasha isn't here. He told me you collapsed from a headache and that he had to leave to fix things before they got worse." Her mother moved back to the side of her bed and sat on the edge. She re-wet the cloth in a bowl of cool water and placed it back on Kagome's head. "He asked me to take care of you until he could return."
"I told him to go. I...I remembered who Kikyo was and I told him to go," she sniffled, trying to hold back tears. "I thought...I thought I meant something to him, but…" she couldn't say it out loud, it still hurt too much.
"Oh Kagome, do you really think he doesn't care about you?" She took her daughters hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Listen, we'll talk more about him later, right now you need to move around a little and try to eat something."
Kagome sat up with a little help from her mother. "How long have I been asleep?" she asked.
"Almost two days. Another few hours and I would have called the doctor."
"Two days?! And he's been gone the whole time?" She was crying now, still too tired to control her emotions.
Her mother pulled her into a hug. "Kagome, it's alright. Whatever happens I'll help you get through it. Two days isn't that long, I'm sure he's just trying to fix things before he comes back for you."
They stayed that way for another minute until Kagome's tears stopped. Her mother pulled away and stood up. "I'm going to get a bath ready for you then make you something to eat while you're soaking." She handed Kagome a glass of water that was sitting on her nightstand. "Here, drink what you can, you're probably dehydrated. Take your time and if you need me for anything just shout."
Kagome nodded and took the glass of water. She took a few sips and watched as her mother left, taking the bowl of water and cloth with her. She needed a minute to herself and she was glad her mother was perceptive enough to recognize that.
It took her a few minutes but she eventually managed to stand on her own and make her way to the bathroom. The bath was ready to go and Kagome discarded her clothes and sunk into the steaming water. It immediately relaxed her tense muscles and she let out a little sigh of relief.
She closed her eyes and tried not to picture Inuyasha's face before he left. The hurt that flashed in his bloodshot eyes had done a lot to cool her anger but not enough to stop her from pushing him away. And now she regretted it.
He'd saved her life and she repaid him with anger. He'd held her, talked her through her pain, cried and broke right along with her, and she told him to leave. He knew her well enough, cared enough about her, to know about her dad and to know his memory would be enough to save her. She didn't talk to anybody about the day they lost him, not even her closest friends. But somehow Inuyasha knew…
She forced herself to focus on the present. She needed to recover so she could start coming up with ways to get to Inuyasha. She had to know the truth and she needed a clear head and her strength back to do that.
The water started to cool some time later and Kagome took that as her cue to move from her comfortable position. She struggled a little less than when she'd crawled out of bed and took that as a good sign. Her mother would have food ready for her by now so she dried off, got dressed, and headed downstairs.
It took her longer than usual to eat but she wanted to make sure she got enough into her system. She didn't really feel hungry but knew it was because she hadn't eaten in two days. Her mother suggested a walk around the shrine to get her muscles moving and Kagome agreed.
By the time they'd made it around the shrine twice Kagome was exhausted. Her mother helped her back up to her room so she could get some more rest. She could only hope tomorrow would be better.
Kagome was making a slow recovery. Three days had passed since her collapse and Inuyasha's departure and she was just starting to get some of her energy back. She stayed home from school and spent most of her day in bed or at her desk trying to study.
She also tried very hard not to think about the reason for Inuyasha's quick exit. She was still having dreams but now they were mostly of Kikyo and Inuyasha, together. He'd told her things weren't what they seemed in the visions, and maybe that was true, but it didn't help her cope. She should have let him explain before pushing him away but the emotions connected to those visions were too strong. Jealousy, envy, hate, and overwhelming amounts of love warred in her heart when she thought about Kikyo and Inuyasha. It was exhausting.
So instead she focused on math, letting the equations numb her brain to anything else. She was seriously behind in all of her subjects anyway, apparently due to all the traveling she couldn't remember. She wasn't even sure she wanted things to go back to 'normal' anymore. It was hard to see any positives to going back at the moment.
Her mother was being her usual supportive self. She gave kagome her space but was always available if Kagome needed her. She didn't force her to go to school or interact with her brother and grandfather. When her friends called looking for her she told them Kagome wasn't feeling well and wasn't really up for visitors.
The only person to get past her mother's defenses so far had been Hojo. His persistence and the fact that they were technically dating gave him an advantage. Kagome agreed to see him, she wasn't doing much of anything else anyway. They sat in the kitchen to talk to avoid any awkward advances. Not that Hojo would ever try anything but Kagome wasn't even up for something as small as a hug from the boy.
"Higurashi, you've missed a lot of school since your incident. Are you sure you're alright?" Hojo asked worriedly.
"Mmm, I'm alright Hojo, just tired," she assured him. The incident the week before, her collapse in her classroom, felt like ages ago. Had it really been only a week?
"Here, I got you something." He handed her a small bag. "They should help improve your health."
"Thank you Hojo, you didn't have to get me anything," she insisted. She pulled a small jar out the bag and set it on the table.
"Umeboshi are good for you. Eat them!" Hojo gave her one of his 'I'm helping' smiles.
He really was a sweet boy, too bad Kagome was apparently in love with a two-timer. She sighed when her thoughts drifted back to Inuyasha, even with Hojo sitting across from her. She really was hopeless.
"Higurashi, maybe you should eat one now. You look more tired all the sudden."
"It's fine Hojo, just got lost in my head for a second." She tried to give him a reassuring smile but it came off as more of a grimace.
He still looked concerned but took it in stride and changed the subject. "Hmm, well if you're up for it I can help you study. You must be behind missing an entire week of school."
"Uh, sure. Let me run upstairs and grab my books," she agreed reluctantly. She really did need the help.
She excused herself and made her way upstairs. She had her math book out and ready to go so she grabbed that off her desk and started back downstairs. Her mother caught her in the upstairs hallway.
"Kagome, is Hojo ok? Did you want him to leave?" she asked, ready to run interference if her daughter needed it.
"No Mama, we're going to study. I'm more behind than I realized and I need to keep myself occupied anyway. Thank you though."
"No problem dear. Just let me know if you need an exit plan."
"I will, I promise," she insisted before heading back to the kitchen.
Hojo had started making tea while she was upstairs and was pouring when she finally rejoined him. She thought again how nice it would be to fall for someone like Hojo, someone loyal and kind, but quickly pushed that thought aside.
She thanked him for making tea and sat down, spreading her textbook and notebook out on the table. They spent the next hour going over things she should have learned weeks ago. Hojo was a good tutor though and she felt much more confident by the end of their study session.
Kagome walked him out when they were done studying, taking him to the top of the shrine steps. Hojo left with the promise to come check on her that weekend and help her study some more. He would more than likely also bring her something for her health.
Now that Kagome was outside she figured she could probably clear her mind with some fresh air. The problem was her favorite spot, under the sacred tree, now had some negative associations that she wasn't sure she was ready to deal with. She had a serious debate with herself for a minute and decided she'd have to face the music eventually anyway so why not now.
Hojo's visit and study session had helped clear her head enough to face a little of what she was dealing with, at the very least. She went and took her spot on the bench by the tree. Her eyes closed and she focused on the sounds around her: birds, leaves rustling, Sota kicking a soccer ball in another part of the shrine, the distant rumble of cars on the road below the shrine.
She took a few deep breaths and let herself think of Inuyasha. His absence was starting to worry her and not just because of Kikyo. If he were hurt or stuck on the other side of the well she would have no way of knowing. The idea of never seeing him again made her feel a little dizzy and her stomach clenched with anxiety.
Whatever was going on it was clearly dangerous and he left to face it on his own, as far as she knew. There was so much she didn't know, so much she couldn't remember, and it frustrated and scared her in equal measure. She was also beginning to notice how much safer she felt with Inuyasha around.
She let out an exasperated sigh and pushed herself up off the bench. Dinner would be ready soon and her body was letting her know she wasn't going to be awake much longer after that. She trudged her way towards the house and was halfway there when she heard Sota calling her for the evening meal.
She could only hope that food and a good night's sleep would allow her to deal with things come morning.
Inuyasha was pretty sure he was dead or, at the very least, dying. He could vaguely remember the injuries he'd received in his fight against Naraku. He knew his shoulder and side were both run through, the steady burning pain on his left side a constant reminder of his failure. He didn't know much outside of that though.
He knew he wasn't healing like he should and that bit of information was gnawing at his mind, insisting that he remember...something. He couldn't grasp the memories though, too lost in pain and weak with blood loss to think beyond his little bubble of agony.
Sometimes he caught snippets of conversation around him. If he was still alive (and how could he not be, death wouldn't hurt this much) then the voices probably belonged to whoever was taking care of him. He couldn't think of who that would be but it would probably all come back to him in time. Or he would die and it wouldn't matter anyway.
He would probably welcome death soon. The pain he could endure; he'd had injuries just as bad and worse in the past. Knowing he'd failed someone, that was harder to cope with, but if he lived he'd at least have a chance to fix things...he hoped.
It was the nightmares that he couldn't deal with. Vague shapes were torn apart over and over right in front of him and a woman screamed his name, begged him to help her, to stop her pain. The voice was so achingly familiar but he couldn't place a name to it. He only knew he cared deeply for the owner of the voice and he'd do anything to stop her pain.
But he couldn't because he'd failed.
He had no idea how much time was passing. It could've been minutes or days or even months. His yokai blood should have started healing him immediately but he felt like he was only getting worse. Maybe this was his punishment for failing and he'd just stay like this forever.
At some point the voices around him began to clear and he could make out a few words. He heard a woman say something about shouki and a man mention purification. Was he poisoned? Were they trying to purify the shouki that was preventing him from healing?
He felt like he was missing something, some important piece of the puzzle that would explain everything. He let the pain take him for a while, the little energy he had spent.
"It doesn't look good. He's not recovering like he should."
"Could he die from this?"
"If he doesn't start to heal soon…"
...
"His bleeding has finally stopped. How does anyone survive three days after losing that much blood?"
"He's stubborn. That's the only explanation I can come up with."
...
"The herbs you're using are doing wonders."
"They are doing their job fighting the effects of the shōki. He needs to return to normal to have any hope of a complete recovery though."
"This is a problem. You don't think it's permanent do you?"
...
"He should wake up soon now that his yokai blood can finish healing him."
"I was really starting to worry. How he survived four days in his condition…"
...
"How are we going to tell him?"
"I don't know. He's not going to take it well."
"No, not at all, but at least it solves a few problems."
"He won't see it that way."
"We have to tell him though. He'll wake up soon..."
...
"Inuyasha? Hey, Inuyasha, can you hear me?"
He groaned and fought his way towards consciousness. The pain had dulled dramatically over the last...well, he wasn't sure how long it had been. A day maybe? He'd been hearing snippets of conversation for a while now also and he was struggling to make sense of what he was hearing.
"I think he's coming around!"
"Let me see. Inuyasha, can you open your eyes?"
He could do that, right? His eyelids felt heavy but he was capable of lifting boulders, eyelids shouldn't be a challenge. He managed to get one eye cracked open enough to take in Kaede's worried face.
"Wha-what hap…?" he croaked, unable to form a complete sentence. He got his other eye open and could see Sango and Miroku hovering over him.
"Don't try to talk yet," Kaede scolded. "You've been out for four days so you need to drink some water."
Someone, Miroku probably, worked an arm under his shoulder and helped him into a sitting position. His body was still sore and his limbs were heavy with fatigue. A container was pressed to his lips and tilted so he could drink the water inside. He took a few gulps, breathed, then took a few more.
He worked his tongue around his still-dry mouth and coughed to clear his throat. "What happened?" he croaked.
He watched Miroku and Sango exchange looks but Kaede didn't hesitate, "We think Kikyo purified you; Naraku attacked you both; Sango and Miroku saved you. It took three days for your yoki to return and another day for you to finally wake up. You're healed but it'll probably take some more time before you feel like yourself again."
He took that all in, trying to recall the fight. He remembered Kikyo's arrow taking him in the shoulder and his shock when his black hair fell around him. He recalled dodging Naraku's attacks and trying to get to Kikyo because…
"What happened to Kikyo? He got her, I tried to get to her but…" he trailed off, trying not to panic. He was getting dizzy, all his strength draining away.
"Hey, stay with us," he heard Miroku trying to keep his attention.
"Inuyasha!" Sango this time.
"Give him some space," Kaede instructed.
It was no use. He felt himself falling back towards the futon and the darkness took him again.
It was late, around midnight, and Kagome couldn't sleep. Four days had passed since her brush with death and Inuyasha's rapid departure. Her friends had come over earlier in the day to check on her and help her study. That had been a welcome distraction and she hadn't pushed them to leave. They were there with her for a few hours after school until they all parted near dinner time.
Her family was leaving her alone, for the most part. She was sure her mother had a hand in that, probably warning her brother and grandfather that she needed space. They hadn't even questioned her during dinner, letting the conversation stay on safe topics, like the history of the fish they were eating.
After dinner, Kagome had gone outside and took her spot on the bench near the tree. She was getting her energy back and had felt ready to face her situation with a clear head. She was hoping to find a way through the well using her memories since she hadn't had any helpful dreams recently. There was also the matter of Kikyo and her relationship to Inuyasha to deal with.
She'd started by examining all the memories associated with the first few headaches, using her journal as a reference. It took almost an hour to sort through as much as she could, trying to recall as many details as possible. Unfortunately they hadn't revealed much that pertained to her current situation and only really succeeded in confusing her more.
What it had done though was give her a better look at her and Inuyasha's relationship. From her first headache she could recall their small interactions by the campfire. She'd made him a cup of ramen and he took a place next to her to eat. He wasn't shy about sitting close to her and she'd let her leg brush against his a few times. They had been smiling and blushing like a pair of teenagers on a first date and she could almost feel her heart flutter when his smile grew at the sight of her blush. She remembered settling into her sleeping bag curled up with Shippo (the boy with the tail, she could remember him better now) and taking one last longing look at Inuyasha before falling asleep.
Her second headache gave her a look at them in the modern world. She got a glimpse of his concern about a recent injury that she could no longer remember. While gathering and packing supplies they walked and stood close together, exchanged small smiles and glances, and brushed up against each other pretty frequently. He interacted with her family like...well like he was her boyfriend. He even carried her (ridiculously large) bag to the well for her like a boyfriend would. She didn't even get mad when he caught her mid-fall and his hand ended up lingering in an intimate area.
They flirted, they spent time together, he was well acquainted with her family, she made him food, they were comfortable with casual physical contact...What the hell was he doing running off to see another woman?!
Maybe she really did just need context. Inuyasha made it clear that things were complicated so maybe he had an obligation to Kikyo or felt like he owed her something. That thought rang so true that it made Kagome gasp. But then again you didn't embrace, kiss, and declare your devotion to an obligation.
Alright, so maybe it was time to dissect her latest set of memories, starting with the kiss. It turned out to be quite the history lesson. Kagome shouted all kinds of useful information while bound to a tree by Kikyo, watching her kiss Inuyasha then try to drag him to hell. Naraku, betrayal, and oh, he did love Kikyo; that hurt. But Kagome saved him, her voice breaking Kikyo's hold and preventing his untimely demise at his previous lover's hands.
As if trying to kill Inuyasha wasn't enough, Kikyo's follow-up performance in her second memory involved trying to kill Kagome after stealing something hanging around her neck. That time Inuyasha was the one to save her, though she'd been too scared to reveal to him what Kikyo's real intentions were. And he'd told Kagome to have a little more confidence in him when she asked if he still loved Kikyo so maybe their love really was in the past.
The third memory hit hard and left her a little breathless. She could remember the entire scene, hiding behind a tree, watching Inuyasha pledge himself to Kikyo. She didn't think she could ever forget the look he gave her when he realized what she'd witnessed. How had they come back from that? Was he really just stringing her along? How did they get to where they were today? It all felt like too much and the only person who could answer her questions was 500 years in the past.
She'd given up on thinking then, too worn out mentally and emotionally to face any more. She spent the rest of her evening in her room looking through her little journal and adding some notes here and there.
Now here she was, lying in bed, trying to shut her mind up so she could sleep. She closed her eyes and started counting down from 100. She made it all the way to the 20s before she finally drifted off.
She was at the tree and she wasn't alone. The woman from the well was there (Kikyo, she's Kikyo!). They were standing side-by-side, facing away from the tree, surrounded by a sea of rolling pitch black smoke. She could feel the presence of the shard in her mind trying to will her to step into the abyss, let the smoke surround her, become her. She looked at Kikyo instead and they locked gazes.
The woman reached over and took her hand before speaking, "We are different and the same. We share a heart, but not our own, and it will use it against you as it did me. Be cautious, keep your distance, and trust him."
She watched, frozen in place, as Kikyo let go of her hand and walked calmly into the smoke. It rose around her, seeping into her skin, corrupting her. Her figure melted down into the swirling miasma and she was gone. Somewhere in the distance she heard laughter, low and dark.
Kagome awoke the next morning with a new sense of purpose. Her body felt lighter and her head felt clearer than it had in days. Her dream was fresh in her mind and she focused on two words, spoken by Kikyo: 'trust him'. Of course she was talking about Inuyasha, about trusting Inuyasha. It was significant in a way she couldn't remember, holding onto that trust. She would do it though, she would make sure to trust him.
"Mama, I'll be gone for a little while but I'll be back as soon as I can," she promised on her way out the door an hour later. "I'm going to try the well."
"Be careful dear, say hello to Inuyasha for me if you see him," her mother responded, smiling at her daughter.
She was in the well house now, staring down the old structure. There couldn't be any more hesitation. It would let her through now, she was sure.
She swung her legs over the side and pushed off.
When Inuyasha woke up again it was dark. The fire had died down to embers but he could see clearly in the low light. He sat up and took in his surroundings. Kaede and Sango were sleeping across the fire from him, Kirara cured up with Sango. Miroku sat near the door, back to the wall, watching Inuyasha.
He could see the sky starting to lighten through the slats of the hut's single window. He was restless, too aware of how much time was passing. It had to be going into day five since he left Kagome and he knew she'd be worried.
He made eye contact with Miroku and gave him a quick nod. They both stood and slipped out of the hut quietly, walking a little ways away so as not to wake the women sleeping inside. They stood in silence for a few moments, watching the sun rise over the horizon.
"We were worried you may not make it," Miroku finally started. "You were human for most of your recovery."
Inuyasha grunted, "Kikyo shot me and purified me. We didn't stand a chance against Naraku after that."
"We guessed that's what happened but we couldn't be sure. Do you know why she shot you?"
"Not a clue. She was pissed because the rosary didn't work anymore but purifying me for that seems like a bit much, even for her." Inuyasha rolled his left shoulder, testing for pain or stiffness. It moved freely and he only felt a small twinge right where the arrow had struck.
Miroku eyed his movements but he was already well aware of Inuyasha's healing abilities. "Kaede has a theory. She said Kikyo's aura glowed with the same light as the corrupted shard in the tree and was worried that it had actually possessed her, or was at least influencing her."
Inuyasha frowned and sighed, "It would explain a lot. Is she still being controlled, or influenced, or whatever?"
Miroku didn't answer right away. Inuyasha could hear him take a deep breath and let it out slowly. A heaviness settled in Inuyasha's gut and he suddenly knew what was coming.
"I'm sorry Inuyasha, we didn't make it in time to save you both. Kaede tried to get to her but…" Miroku trailed off.
Hearing it out loud hurt more than Inuyasha anticipated. He squeezed his eyes closed but it didn't stop the tears from escaping. He took a few shaky breaths, trying to calm his pounding heart. He tried telling himself that she would be fine once they fixed things but he couldn't be sure and the uncertainty was killing him.
"Did she suffer?" he asked, his voice breaking.
"She was gone before Kaede could reach her." Miroku placed his hand on Inuyasha's shoulder and squeezed. "I'm sorry, my friend. Maybe if we fix things it will undo the last few days and she will be alright."
Hearing his thoughts echoed out loud was a small but short-lived comfort. To fix things he would need Kagome. He couldn't fail again, he couldn't lose them both. Kikyo hurt but losing Kagome would kill him.
"I'm going to have to bring Kagome here but I'm not doing that until we prepare. I'm not gonna let Naraku get the jump on us again."
"I will talk with Kaede, we should be able to put up barriers and protections against the influence of the shard."
"Good. I'm going to go to the tree to see what I can do. Maybe if I can destroy the shard-"
"It's no use," Miroku cut him off. "And it's also dangerous. The closer you are to the shard the more likely you are to fall under its influence."
"I don't care. I won't put her in more danger. She already almost- I almost lost her Miroku. Kaede was right, she can't handle all the conflicting memories."
"All the more reason to take precautions and bring her through. We can protect her. You can protect her. We just need to be prepared."
It still left him with a bad feeling. Naraku knew that Kikyo was gone which meant he knew that Kagome would have to come through the well soon. They could prepare all they wanted but there was still going to be a fight. He didn't even know if she could fire her arrows without her memories. She'd gotten better at staying out of trouble during their travels but this was going to be like her first few weeks here all over again. Only now instead of facing weak yokai with only one or two shards they would be facing Naraku with an almost complete jewel.
Maybe he could spend some time on her side to help her prepare. He could at the very least make sure she could still charge and fire her arrows. They would have to be quick though, he couldn't risk any more memory slips. He wasn't sure he could save her again.
He heard footsteps and turned to see Sango and Kaede making their way towards them. Sango was in her slayer clothes and had Hiraikotsu slung across her back. Kaede had her bow and a quiver of arrows. They were ready for whatever the day brought.
Inuyasha noticed that the villagers had started going about their day. He looked to the sky and saw it was late morning already. Time was still slipping away faster than he liked. He was about to start barking orders when he caught two scents that stopped his heart. He tensed and took a deep breath to be sure.
"Inuyasha, what's wrong?" he heard Sango ask.
Instead of answering her, he ran.
