Chapter 02.
Flashback
Santana entered the studio that was located in a large shed behind his house. She opened the door and found Quinn with her hair in a ponytail looking at one of her sculpture - or a part of it, as Florence + The Machine - Spectrum blasts across the room. It was the only way that she could focus, as strange as that was.
Santana stood in the doorway watching her wife focused on what she was doing, while Beth was on top of a large table with dirty hands of red ink. She looked exactly like a mini-Quinn: hair pulled back with a ponytail, a little short and a white blouse which turned red. Beth ran her hand on a white fabric on the table, every now and then as she stood up to dance and try to sing, Santana noticed that there were little red spots on her legs because of the paint.
"Mama, look!" Beth shouted standing up and showing her hands to Santana who started laughing as she approaches her daughter.
The alleged Beth table was full of marks of her little red hands and traces of her blue knee. Santana looked at the little blonde and noticed that her nose and Beth's forehead were also inked. The white blouse had red paint marks and the her shorts with blue ink. That is what a normal day is for the Fabray-Lopez household.
"Mija, you're all dirty, it will be very hard to get it out from your nose." Santana ran her finger in her daughter's nose and the little one began her clittle cute dance that made her two mothers laugh.
Soon Santana did the same and began to sing, with Beth accompanying her.
Say my name
And every colour illuminates
We are shining
And we will never be afraid again.
Say my name
And every colour illuminates
We are shining
And we will never be afraid again.
Quinn watched them as she tried to focus on what she was doing, but it was difficult since the two females in her life were laughing and singing loudly along with the music. They were lovely.
But even if Santana is being goofy, Quinn couldn't take her eyess off of her. Trust Santana to make everything look sexy. The blonde tried to focus by getting back at her sculpture. She had until the next day to deliver it to one of her client to display at a charity event.
"Hello, my love." Santana's soft voice whispered in Quinn's ear making the blonde shiver. Santana's hands wrapped around Quinn's waist from behind and pressed her body against the blonde.
"It's not fair to come from behind and whisper in my ear like that, Lopez." Quinn smiled stopping what she was doing and straightening in her seat.
"Oh no? And how do you prefer?" Santana turned Quinn to her, facing her and approached her soft lips on hers. "Like this?" Quinn closed her eyes with a sigh against Santana's lips. "I think that's a yes." Both connected their lips together and began a soft kiss, their tongues met and Santana gave Quinn lightly sucked bringing her tongue to her mouth. The Latina slides her hands to Quinn's waist to her hips just pulling your body next to hers closer.
Santana pressed her fingers on Quinn's hip and the blonde's hands rest at the table where she sits to support herself.
"Santana, I don't know if you remember, but your daughter is right behind us." Quinn stopped kissing the Latina, but their lips were still connected to each other. Santana just nodded and saw Beth watching her them giggling.
"She is so dirty, I don't know where to start cleaning." Santana pecks Quinn's lips before pulling away.
They both laughed as they watch Beth drench herself to more ink.
End.
"She doesn't remember who I am." Santana screams at Quinn's doctor. Tears fall endlessly down her cheeks. She was desperate. How is that possible? How could she not remember Santana was her wife?
"Santana, it happens. She hit her head and-"
"How long?" Santana interrupted, her voice raising every moment, but the doctor didn't answer. "Until how long?"
"I don't know. They can last for weeks, months... or even forever." His last words hit like a punch in Santana's stomach. She couldn't breathe, her chest ached, her head was spinning endlessly.
"Forever?" The question came out almost like a sigh. She could barely speak, it was painful.
The doctor tried to approach her, but Santana walked out the door angry, desperately running a hand over her face and returning to the room where Quinn was looking to her hand a few times looking at her wedding ring.
"So we are married?" Quinn's voice was soft and Santana just nodded. "And who made me all these drawings?" Beth's drawings hung on the wall facing Quinn's. Santana looked at her with a frown ready for cry again. Of course she didn't remember getting married, she probably wouldn't remember havign a child either.
The pain never left her chest. As tiime passes by, it grows, and grows, spreadign through her body like wild fire. She could barely look at Quinn as she collects the drawings from the wall to give it to her wife, "Your daughter made you these drawings."
Eyes wide open, Quinn shouted, "What? A d-daughter? I have a daughter? Oh my god!"
"Yes, we have a daughter and her name is Elizabeth." Santana kept the tears from falling, but it was hard to imagine what she would say to the little Beth when she got home. "She likes to be called Beth, and she's four years old."
Quinn took the drawings and looked closely, she smiled seeing how good at drawing Beth was for a four years-old. "Four? She's very talented for her age."
"Yes, she took this from you." The Latina forces a smile. All she wanted was for Quinn to remember who she is, but every time Quinn looked at her, her eyes show nothing but confusion.
Quinn smiled leaving all drawings on her lap. She didn't know what to do or what to say. Santana was a stranger to her and the blonde just wanted to rest. "Um, I'm tired, do you mind if ...?"
"Oh, of couse not. It's okay." Santana smiled. She doesn't want to leave. She want to stay by Quinn's side every minute until she start to remember everything. But Santana promised she would come back home and spend time with her little bee.
Xxxx
"She doesn't remember you?" Brittany and Rachel practically shouted as soon as Santana told them what happened.
"Keep your voices down. I don't want Beth to hear this." Santana almost slaps her friends. "Honestly, I'm desperate, I don't know what to do. She doesn't remember we have a daughter." The Latina now allowed to cry in front of her friends. "She doesn't remember anyone of us."
"San, calm down. She is going to remember." Rachel says taking her friend's hands.
"But what if she doesn't? What do I do?"
"Well, you make her fall for you again." Rachel spoke trying to encourage her friend. "You've done it once, you can do it again. In fact, you do this every day, I know how much she loves you Santana, and every day she seemed to love you more." Rachel was right, if Quinn won't remember, Santana would make her fall in love with her again. She's done it once, you can do it again. "But you need to be patient. You know that."
"Mama?" Beth came to the room and quickly Santana wiped her face and cracked a smile as she picks her up to sit in her lap.
"Hey, Bee, how was your day?"
"Good. I still miss mommy." Beth laid her head on her mother's shoulder and played with her mama's hair with her little fingers. "Did she woke up?"
Santana looked at her friends and take a deep breath. She knew how Beth was suffering, but she couldn't take her to see Quinn yet. She knew Beth needs a little cheering up.
"Santana?" Rachel calls out as she noticed Santana getting lost in her own thoughts.
"Um, not yet, baby. Mommy's still asleep." Santana smiled as Brittany and Rachel stared at her blankly.
Sure it was bad lying at your daughter. It hurt Santana, but she's half-blaming herself for what had happened. She wanted to go back in time and make Quinn buckle up like her life depends on it. Maybe when the truck hit them like bowling ball, Quinn wouldn't have been thrown to the windshield.
Xxxx
"Rachel I'd ask you to sleep with Quinn tonight, but she will not remember you and will probably kick you out of there. Can you sleep with Beth tonight? Please?" Santana has Beth asleep in her arms after their bedtime stories at the couch.
"Of course it will not be a problem." Rachel took Beth from Santana's lap and the latina went to her room picking some clothes for Quinn.
Santana pack a small suitcase when Brittany came into her room. "Hey." Brittany sat on the bed and watched Santana separate some dresses for Quinn. "San, you know you can talk to me anytime, I know that you've got tons in your mind right now." The blonde said and she was right. Santana had holding a lot and didn't know what to do. Still, she kept quiet while packing Quinn's case, then felt Brittany's hand on her arm, "San?"
"This is too much, Brittany. I can't even..." Santana sobs uncontrollably at her best ffriend's arm as Brittany runs soothign circles at her back.
"Everything's gonna be okay."
That's the mantra they'd keep saying until they believe it.
Xxxx
Quinn was still asleep when Santana came to her room. It was almost 10 pm and her wife was still asleep. Santana sat in the chair next to the bed and tried to relax. She couldn't take her eyes off of Quinn.
There was anger and pain. It was all she could feel and she wanted it gone. She never felt anything like that. Santana hoped that Quinn would give any sign that she was remembering something, anything.
After a few hours, Santana felt someone nudge her arm. She had fallen asleep without even realizing it. As soon as she opened her eyes, she saw Quinn in front of her, with her arms crossed in a bathrobe as she smiled at her.
"What are you doing?" Quinn asked.
"Sleeping?" Santana said grabbing the suitcase. "I brought you some clothes."
"Thanks." The blonde took the suitcase and placed it on the bed turning to Santana again. "Um, I'm hungry."
"Oh yeah?" Santana stood up. "Come, I'll take you to eat." Quinn straightened her robe and the two went to the hospital cafeteria.
Both sits at a table and Quinn stares at Santana for a minute before starting upa conversation. "So we are married, huh?" Quinn said "And we had a daughter?"
"Yep. Elizabeth. Or Beth at she likes to be called."
"Tell me more."
"We have four crazy friends who help us a lot: Puck, Kurt, Rachel and Brittany." Santana drank her coffe. "Oh, Britt and Rachel are staying with Beth tonight."
"Um..." Quinn was eating her cheese sandwich. "So yeah... Our daughter... How is she?"
Taking this as a good sign, Santana lights up as she starts talking about Beth, "Well, she is just like you. In every way possible. She's the most beautiful and smart little girl. She loves to read, draw, sing... She dances too, but I think she got that from me." Santana smiled and Quinn was doing the same, trying to imagine her daughter. "She has your eyes, beautiful hazel eyes. I catch myself getting lost at both of your eyes, it never gets old. She doesn't like when you make use fringe, she hates it, but does it for you sometimes without complaint. She is affectionate and loves to sleep cuddled with her bear and with both of us. Santana smiled while playing with her piece of bread. She looks at Quinn and noticed that she's smiling too. That's good right? "When you're in your studio, she loves to keep you company, loves to paint—or tries to paint. I think-"
"Wait!" Quinn interrupted. "Studio? I have a studio?"
"Yes, you have, it is in a shed behind where we live. You have all your work and everything you need there. Two months and two weeks ago you closed with Grey Art Gallery and they were to give you an answer if they would exhibit your works or not."
"Wait, I have a studio? Am I an artist?" Quinn asked a little too surprised. "But what about my masteral degree in law?" Santana looked at her confused
"You dropped out of law school because you wanted to be an artist and got a degree at it. You are a great artist." Santana realized that Quinn seemed frustrated and didn't say anything.
Quinn was beyond frsutrated. She only remembers going to law school. Why woould she trade that for... art? That last time she remembered wanting to be an artist, she was only a little girl.
Xxxx
"So Mr. and Mrs. Fabray, Quinn will be fine in a few days, she need to stay under observation and could soon go home. The car crash was strong, she had to be operated with a little urgency, but she recovered very well."
Santana appears at the door in time to see Quinn's parents. She had never met them but she was familiar with them. At the sight of her, Quinn's mom had looked at her from head-to-toe, sending the message to Santana loud and clear.
"This is embarrassing." Santana said. "Mr. and Mrs. Fabray I'm Santana, Santana Lopez. Your daughter's wife." Santana smiled.
"Wait, We are married and you don't know my parents?" Quinn asked, but got no response. Her mother just came over and took her hand.
"This is ridiculous. My daughter has an horrible accident and you didn't warn us?" Quinn's father spoke visible angry.
"Wel, I'm sorry, but I couldn't contact you."
"Well, apologies will not bring back the days I wished I had with my daughter."
Last time Santana checked, Quinn is not a fan of her parents so why are they acting like they're a happy family now?
"Mr. and Mrs. Fabray, Quinn needs to rest." The doctor ushers the older Fabrays out of the room.
Santana approached her wife, feeling ashamed for not having known her parents before.
"How do you not know my parentes if we are married?" Quinn asked angry.
"I've never seen them before, Quinn."
"And why not?" The blonde's tone definitely showed irritation and Santana didn't like it.
"Because you don't talk to them for years, they shouldn't even be here." Santana was starting to get annoying.
"This is ridiculous, why wouldn't I talk to my parents?" Quinn asked and Santana was silent. She knew the reason but she can't say that. She doesn't know how to explain it. "What? Don't tell me we never talked about it."
"No, it's not that." Santana took a deep breath and remember that she needed to be patient with Quinn. "It's your father. He forced you to do something you didn't want, like your law school. He almost disowned you when you switched to arts and... that's why you do not talk to them anymore."
"There's more, isn't it?" Quinn tried to look into the latina's eyes, but Santana was avoiding it.
"No, nothing." Of course it had more, but clearly blruting out everything would only do harm than good.
"This is ridiculous, Santana. It is impossible for me to have dropped my law studies to make art." Quinn started talking fast, clearly displeased. "I can't comprehend everything you're saying. All I know is I'm supposed to be in law school, and engaged to Sam Evans."
Santana thought this couldn't get any worse, but guess what. It does.
Santana looked away from Quinn so that she couldn't see such sadness in her eyes. She wanted to strangle Quinn. Of course she wouldn't remember Santana and Beth. Only Sam freaking Evans, who was nothing but a qomanizer who only used Quinn to get to her father.
"How do I know our marriage is true? If it was for love?" Quinn speak again and Santana looked at her.
"Quinn, we had a daughter together, what proof do you need more?"
Patience, Santana. You need patience and love.
Quinn stood silently watching her. "Look, why don't you let me bring her here? Beth is dying to see you and she misses you so much. She cries everyday and asks about you all the time. Let me bring her and you'll see I'm not lying."
Even with hesitation, Quinn nods. As much as she doesn't know her daughter, she was curious to know how she was. Maybe it'll help her recover her memory.
Xxxx
Santana returned home that evening with hope. She thought that Beth could be the answer to Quinn's recovery.
Once Santana got home, she saw Puck with Beth in his lap. Puck has always been there for Santana and Santana couldn't be any more thankful for that.
"Didn't know you know how to babysit." Santana joked smiling as her daughter hung on her
"Yeah, I was miss my goddaughter and I thought I could spend some time with her." Puck said as he lays back at the couch.
"Thanks." The Latina smiled and turned her attention to Beth who was waiting with arms raised for Santana to get her up. "Bee, guess what?" Santana smiled looking at Beth who was wrapped up around her.
"What?" Beth asks confused.
"It's about mommy Q." Once Santana said Quinn's name. Beth's eyes widened and opened her mouth with a cry of excitement making Santana and Puck laugh.
"Mommy woke up?" She asked excitedly, her eyes filled with tears. Santana just nodded and Beth let out another cry hugging Santana tightly. "She woke up. Mom Quinn woke up!" A tear of happiness ran down her little cheek "Can I see her now?"
"Not now, baby, it's too late and mommy Quinn needs to rest, but tomorrow we will. I promise." Beth jumped clapping.
"I'll draw a picture for her." The little blonde ran to her room to get started.
Xxxx
"Mijá, let's go" Beth was running from her room with her drawing in hand. She wore a black legging pants with a white long sleeve t-shirt with black stripes. Her loose hair and this time, without fringe. She puts the boots that Quinn gave to her. "Ready?" Beth nods as she takes Santana's hand, walking towards their car.
"Do you think she will like my drawing, mama?" Beth asked.
"Of course she will, mija. She loved the others you sent and I'm sure she'll love this too." Santana looked in the rearview mirror and saw her daughter smiling looking at the window.
"Hope so." Santana didn't know what to do. She didn't know whether to tell the truth to Beth or let everything happen naturally. Beth doesn't know her mother couldn't remember her yet.
"Bee, I need you to do me a favor. Mommy had a very serious medical problem and will need a lot of your help, you can do this, princess? Help mommy?" Santana looked back in the rearview mirror and saw her daughter smiled.
"Yes, mama, I can do that." Beth embraced her paper as she contains her excitement.
Santana was only afraid to take that excitement away from her.
Xxxx
eth was anxious and excited. She missed her mommy so much she couldn't contain herself. The little one walked through the hospital with a smile and when they got to Quinn's room, the two entered and Beth saw her mother lying in bed. Beth's eyes light up as ever and her heart raced with joy.
"Mommy!" Beth screamed and Santana left her daughter to ran to Quinn.
Quinn looked at the mini blonde print of herself standing in front of her bed up the small stairs and going up to her and hugging her tightly. Small arms wrapped around her neck and Beth's sunk in her neck. Quinn looked at Santana and tries to return the sentiment. It felt like hours but Beth finally decided to pull back.
Beth was so thrilled that a tear fell on her cheek. Quinn was overwhelmed with all these feeling the child was showing for her.
"Hey, are you crying?" Quinn asked as she slowly wiped Beth's face.
"Mommy you woke up, I miss you so much, and when I came here you were always sleeping and I wish you, -."
"Beth!" Santana called her daughter who talked incessantly making Quinn laugh. "Breathe." Beth looked at Santana and proved to be breathing and then returned to Quinn hugging her again.
"Oh, mommy, I'm so glad you woke up." Quinn felt the embrace of that little unknown blonde and smile. She liked it. She liked those little arms around her. She felt sorry for not being able to remember Beth, she looked at Santana who had a protective eye on her daughter. "I did a drawing for you." Beth remembered that she had something to give to Quinn and showed the drawing to her.
Quinn picked up the paper and saw it was three people there. On top of each drawing was writing their names. "Mommy Q. Mama Tana and Tinker." Quinn saw the name of the fairy on top of the drawing where it was supposed to be Beth and furrowed brow. "Tinker?" She asked smiling looking at Santana.
"Yes, tinker Bell is one of her favorite fairy and you call her like that sometimes. In fact, She makes everyone call her that." Santana rolled her eyes and looked at Beth who had a confused look staring at Quinn.
"What is it?" Quinn asked Beth who started playing with her mommy's hair.
"You look different, mommy." At these words make Santana tensed looking at Quinn who was taking a deep breath. She didn't know how to answer that, she didn't want to disappoint Beth with the truth.
"What? No, I'm ok, Elizabeth." Quinn answered and Beth kept looking at her. Elizabeth? Quinn never called her that. Unless of course in that times when Beth is in trouble. Beth looked at Santana and then looked back at Quinn.
"It's Beth, mommy. You only call me Beth." The little one was helping without even knowing.
"Oh, of course." Quinn tapped her forehead with her finger and Santana mentally thanked Quinn for trying.
Xxxx
The three walked by the hospital and Beth doesn't let go of Quinn. The only time that Beth stayed away from Quinn, was when her mommy had to take her medicine and Beth stayed with Santana. The three went to the cafeteria and it was clear to see how much Quinn struggled. Sometimes she would ask for Beth to tell what she liked most of her stories and movies. It was impossible not to be charmed when the little one talked and Quinn could feel how special Beth was. She was feeling that tiny figure in front of her no doubt was her daughter. She was as friendly as she was.
Quinn was sorry for not remembering the years she spent with Beth. Not remember the first time she heard Beth saying her first word or when Beth taking her first steps. She regretted not even remembering the favorite book of her own daughter. But worst? Is that she doesn't even remember Beth at all.
Quinn could see that Beth is the real motivation here at recovering the lost memory.
Xxxxx
Beth fell asleep in Quinn's arms while they were lying together in bed. Santana sitting in a chair reading one of Beth's books she asked to bring with them. Quinn stroking Beth's blond hair and hugged her.
"She's beautiful, Santana." Quinn said without taking her eyes off her daughter.
"Yes, she's perfect. She's like you." Santana closed the book and rested in her lap. "Thanks."
"For what?" Quinn asked, still looking lovingly at Beth.
"For trying. I was afraid you'd hurt her for not remembering."
"I wouldn't do that, but, yeah, I can't lie, I was also afraid of hurting her. Afraid of not make her day special as she expected." Quinn was still stroking Beth's hair gentle when a tear ran down her cheek. "It is so painful not remembering anything. She's beautiful, perfect, loving, caring and I don't remember anything of what I lived with her and it hurts me, because she love me so much and I can't say it back." Santana could see Quinn was crying. She knew her wife was being honest and was hurt.
"If you let her in, you'd realize it's not that hurt to learn to love her." Santana whispered.
And if you let me into your life, you will see that I can always make you happy, and that I always loved you with all my heart. The Latina thought as she watched her two blondes together.
"Well, it's late and I need to take her home." Santana got up from her chair and approached the bed. Quinn now looked at her and wiped her face.
"Oh, mmm... Okay." Quinn moves her arm as Santana took little Beth.
"Beth? Bee, wake up."
"Santana, what are you doing? She's sleeping like a little angel, why are you waking her?" Quinn asked in a low voice and Beth opened her eyes slowly.
"Because I want her to say goodbye." Beth opened her eyes staring at Santana who held her in her lap. "Bee, we're going home, you need to sleep in your bed." Santana smiled. "Say goodbye to mommy Q." Beth turned opening her arms to Quinn who picked her up and hug her tight.
"Bye, mommy. Love you." At that, Quinn realized she was the one who didn't want to let go.
"Come on, mijá." Santana grabbed her purse and Quinn let's go of Beth after pressing a kiss on her baby. Before reaching the door, Santana reminded Quinn, "The doctor already cleared you. We'd be back tomorrow to pick you up."
"What? Santana, I think I'm going to my parents' house." Quinn said wiping her face.
Quinn's words made Santana's heart tighten.
Before Santana could reply, Beth beat her up to it. "Why won't you come home with us, mommy?"
That froze the both of them.
Santana knew it'll be hard to keep the situation from Beth if Quinn is there struggling to grasp the reality. But it'll help Quinn in the long run, right? The doctor did say she needed to go back to her normal routine. And she could do that if she stays with them.
Quinn realizes this, and really, how could she deny her angel. Beth is hers right?
Quinn looked into Santana's eyes that were filled with tears and then looked at Beth who seemed to be waiting for an answer.
"Yes, right. Of course I'm going with home with you." Quinn tries to reassure her daughter, hoping she wouldn't notice the mishap.
Luckily, Beth squealed and held into Santana's hand tighter as they plan the day ahead.
Santana was relieved. She could do this. She could make her fall in love with her again. She could show her the happy life they have together. Everything's gonna be okay, right? It has to be.
xxxxx
First, I want to thank those who are following this story and I hope you can stay with me 'till the end. Second: I already said this, but Beth is not Quinn and Puck's daughter, because Puck and Quinn have never had a relationship before. If this is confusing, be patient, because things will become clearer in the next chapters.
Review? Thank you x
