He Is… Funny

Hiccup sat on her roof, observing the village in front of her. The people moved around like cogs in a well-designed, well-oiled machine. One extra piece and all the peace would disappear. Hiccup knew that fact first hand. The second she left the forge, sure, she had a lot of friends, but she knew she was also being a burden. Blacknose, the rudest, most Viking-like Viking in the entire village, had let her know just what he thought of her. He yelled at her in front of all of her 'friends'. And not one of them contradicted him. So they felt that way, too?

She had said something about useless people being the prettiest, and something about Blacknose just being jealous. Hiccup was more or less certain her so-called 'friends' had laughed. While walking with her 'friends' she had made an excuse about an errand for the forge. And that's how she found herself there, on her roof.

Toothless was pacing on the ground below, probably worried. But he knew that the only person who could really make her feel better right then was Jack. Not that Hiccup didn't love Toothless, because she did. It was just that her love for Jack was different than her love for Toothless.

Jack had been the absolute first person to accept her. He knew about her moods and how to deal with them. He knew that sometimes she needed silent and sometimes she needed conversation to get her mind off whatever was bothering her. And, Jack knew just when to give her what. He would probably smile at her and pull her into his shoulder if she needed the comfort of just being with another person. And he would throw his arm over her if she needed to laugh out her misery.

Hiccup huffed out a small laugh in a thick voice, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.

"You know, I hear you keep doing that and you go blind," Jack said, appearing out of nowhere, throwing his arm around her.

"Not now, Jack," she sighed, more out of habit that anything else.

"Ah, you don't mean that, do you, Hic?" he questioned, looking into her face. Hiccup sniffed when she saw his smile, with the adorable dimple on his left cheek.

"Uh oh," Jack stage mumbled. "I don't see a smile. Looks like I've got to up my game, huh?" He squeezed her with the arm her shoulders, and Hiccup snuggled closer, allowing the cold he produced to cool her down.

"Sorry if I get…face liquid on you," Hiccup sniffled again. Jack didn't make a sound, but Hiccup could feel the laughter vibrating through his chest. Hiccup blushed. From the position they were in, Hiccup could feel just how strong he was. She barely managed to keep her hand in her lap, and not stroking his body. Her face flamed. She could not believe she had just thought that. "What?" She asked, trying to think about something other than Jack and his flawless body. Her face only got hotter. "Why are you laughing?"

"Face liquid?" Jack asked. Hiccup didn't answer. She just pulled away and frowned at her boyfriend. Honestly, though, it was probably more of a pout, if Jack's amused face was any indication. Hiccup was about to pull away further, both to show her displeasure at being teased when she was about to cry, and to stop herself from feeling up her boyfriend at the worst possible time.

"Alright, alright!" Jack conceded, putting up his hands in a surrender-like fashion. "So, Serious Jack time?"

Hiccup snorted, temporarily keeping the tears at bay.

"I don't think Serious Jack exists,"

"I'm wounded," Jack says, holding his hand over his heart. "Like, really, really wounded. I mean seriously hurt here, Hiccup. So hurt! My head! My heart! My soul!" Seeing Hiccup's disbelieving raised eyebrow, Jack straightened his shoulders. "I'll just have to prove you wrong, huh? So, who made my girl cry?"

Hiccup couldn't speak for a second. Her heart skipped a beat, and a new warmth spread through her chest. Calling her his girl. For a winter spirit, he sure did a fine job of warming Hiccup up. But honestly, he should give a girl some warning before saying something like that.

"Blacknose—" Hiccup started, but Jack interrupted.

"Bla-Blacknose?" Jack used his free arm to run his hand through his silky soft hair. "Are you joking? I mean, where do they come up with these names? And why does Astrid have a nor—the only normal one?"

Hiccup couldn't help herself. She giggled. And then didn't stop. She curled up in the fetal position, still trembling and wheezing. The only reason she didn't fall off the roof was because Jack was holding her close to his cold body.

Hiccup stopped laughing for a second, and Jack went to say something, but Hiccup was back at it again. Jack… he had been so honestly upset! It always amused Hiccup when Viking names confused Jack. And this wasn't the only time he had expressed his confusion and exasperation.

Multiple times in the past, when Hiccup was telling him a story involving a Viking Jack hadn't heard of before, he always devoted a few seconds to question their name, and ask if Hiccup was messing with him. And Hiccup always found it so funny! It was probably just because the names were so familiar for her; it was strange to see Jack questioning them. Completely normal things which just somehow made no sense to Jack. It was almost like Jack was offended by the forest. Or the sky.

"Alright, Ms. Serious-Jack-doesn't-exist, as long as we're thinking about all these existential anomalies," Jack pushed his finger up his nose, like he was pushing up some spectacles, and Hiccup grinned up at him, stomach still hurting from laughing so hard. "Just how the Hel did you get up here?" Jack broke out of his 'Serious Jack' character and looked at her in pure bewilderment. His voice rose a few notes, and the genuine confusion in his face amused Hiccup to no end. "I am one thousand percent positive that Toothless didn't help you, because he's down on the ground, looking like a kicked puppy. I don't even like Toothless that much, but even I felt bad for the guy."

Hiccup had honestly stopped listening after he had asked his question. The tone of voice Jack had when asking…just thinking about it made Hiccup start giggling again, leaning into Jack to support herself.

"Wow, two for two for Serious Jack. Maybe I should be Serious Jack more often,"

"That wasn't Serious Jack," Hiccup corrected, more or less getting a grip on herself. Another giggle escaped her, but the cute grin on Jack's voice kept Hiccup from being too annoyed at herself. She leaned forward and pecked his lips. "That was just Jack. My Jack."

"Think what you want, Hiccup, but Serious Jack got you to stop crying, you laughed for a solid half hour-"

"It was not half an hour," Hiccup scoffed.

"-and I got a kiss out the whole deal, too. Serious Jack is definitely staying. Maybe forever,"

"Shame," Hiccup said. "Then Normal Jack will never know what I had planned for him,"

"What is it?" Jack sat up straighter. His icy blue eyes twinkled in the twilight with excitement. Hiccup suppressed her smile. She pressed her finger against her lips.

"Secret," she whispered. "Only for Normal Jack."

"Alright, I'm Normal Jack, give me the surprise!" Jack said, turning to face her completely.

"You have to close your eyes," Hiccup said, scooting closer to his lower temperature. Jack eagerly did as she asked. Before she could think herself out of doing what she wanted to do, Hiccup closed the distance between their mouths.

Sparks of pleasure exploded from where Jack's mouth touched Hiccup's own, and the sensation flowed through Hiccup's veins to the rest of her body. Jack pressed his lips more firmly against hers. His mouth was so cold she gasped. Jack took advantage of the situation and pressed closer to her, slipping his tongue in her mouth. Hiccup moaned as he took his time exploring her mouth, but giggled when his tongue grazed the roof of her mouth.

"Oh, yeah," Jack panted, pulling away quickly. "Normal Jack is here to stay."

Hiccup didn't even respond. She just pulled him closer, allowing her hands to do what they had wanted to do for so long. Hiccup felt Jack's body tremor as her hands ran up and down his chest before finally clenching some of the fabric in her fists.

Jack's tongue was once again in her mouth, and his long, gentle fingers were threaded through her hair. Hiccup softly sucked on Jack's tongue, and he made a surprised noise. Hiccup smiled and did it again, earning a moan this time.

Hiccup pulled away, but Jack wanted to get closer. He pushed her down on the roof, giving the two of them complete privacy from the tribe. Not like they would've seen anything in the first place. Just normal Hiccup, doing weird Hiccup things.

"Jack," hiccup sighed as his lips attached to her neck. His cool touch on her burning skin was the most confusing and addicting sensation Hiccup had ever felt, and she just wanted more. She shivered. He sucked on her neck, and she gasped.

"Hiccup," Jack mumbled, moving back up to her mouth.

But they were interrupted by a distinct growl.

"Toothless?" Hiccup peered over the edge of the roof, still breathless. Jack wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling off the roof, and a new wave of warmth surged through Hiccup. Jack grumbled,

"You know when I said I felt bad for him? I lied. That was a lie, I am a liar."

"Well, I can't kiss Jack the Liar, now can I?"

"No such thing as Jack the Liar! He doesn't exist! He's the complete opposite of you! He's ugly and useless and he doesn't even exist!"

Hiccup couldn't explain how happy Jack's words made her. She just leaned back, so that Jack's chest pressed into her back.

Toothless kept growling, telling her to get down from there. Jack kept grumbling, telling her to tell Toothless that they would be down in a minute. Or twenty. Hiccup kept giggling. Because even when he wasn't trying, Jack was hilarious. Sure, there were times he was so adorable Hiccup couldn't help but laugh, but mostly, Jack was just naturally funny. And she loved that about him.


"Jack is one of those people who just is funny. And he doesn't even have to be mean to make people laugh. Just the things he notices and says, the way he reacts to things, he's just hilarious. I remember, I used to get bullied by my tribe a lot. I would always go up to some high place and cry about it—"

"Not a lot has changed since then, eh?"

"—But Jack would always find me. He would pull me together. No matter how horrible people were to me, I always had Jack…" Hiccup trailed off, wondering if she even had Jack anymore. She cleared her throat and pushed the thought aside. Bunny didn't look like he hadn't noticed her pause. Hiccup rushed on so she wouldn't be questioned. "Just a few words from him, and I would almost forget why I was even so miserable in the first place. But he's not the type of funny that's unapproachable! He is…"


I think it's been exactly ninety days since I last updated. And I say that, because the Doc Manager on Fanfic lets you keep a document in it for ninety days, and I have zero days left of He Is... Sweet.

Ok, confession time: I totally forgot about this story. The only reason I remembered was because I wanted to read through my other Fem!Hiccup story- How to Train Your Fiance (If you haven't, you should read it. If I do say so myself, it's pretty darn good. And completed). Anyway, I went to check my profile and there was this little neglected gem, sitting there sadly with six chapters. And, turns out, I had ten chapters planned for this story. So, I have to finish this story now. Sorry about the wait, though! Hopefully that doesn't happen again! Next: He Is... Relaxing

Oh, before I forget, thanks y'all for being so patient and putting up with my random unofficial hiatuses :)