She spat blood at the floor and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. The field was quiet for a moment and desperate, her eyes sought him.
He stepped over the corpse at his feet and crossed to her, lifting her chin in his hand and checking for wounds.
He betrayed her then. Better now, than at the end. Better now, when she'd understand.
"I'm going to stay with them, Greenblood."
"Kurt?"
He thought of the way the legate had replaced her broken family with the people around her – how she had woven herself a new home from love of her companions. He remembered the sad pride in her voice every time she'd put Constantin to bed after his sickness had taken hold because he had chosen her. Kurt thought of what Sieglinde had said when she'd given him that fancy ring as a nest-egg – that he was her brother.
He took a deep breath, "They're my kin."
The legate looked at him, her gaze piercing his soul. Those hurt eyes flicked to Sieglinde, just for a moment, but De Sardet nodded, understanding. Then she whispered, "How will I do it, without you?"
"You're just trying to make me say you were always my favourite student, aren't you?" he tried to sound encouraging, teasing, but her face was mournful. He sighed, "Greenblood, you were always my brightest, my best. You're an artist when you move with your sword – it's a joy to watch. I'm… I'm a soldier. And an old one at that. I'll slow you down. You'll be watching my back and… you don't need more work."
Sieglinde saved him then, "Good to have you with us, Kurt. I'd say it's like the 'good old days' but we both know there's no such thing in the Guard…"
"There's certainly not with you around," he teased, but patted her shoulder fondly, regardless.
There was a long pause – a plaintive stare between Kurt and the legate in which their silence tried to say all that was unsaid.
They shared a tentative smile, then heard a crash above them on the path.
"Enough. Greenblood, go."
She nodded, "Good luck. And Kurt… don't be a hero."
He remembered that lesson well – the way she'd run at him time and time again regardless of how often she fell, never giving herself chance to rest before the next volley against his blade. He'd asked her why. Because she'd wanted to be heroic. He'd taught her not to – taught her how to fight smart, to win. That's what she was telling him now – to be smart, to stay alive.
She was fidgeting as she pulled away from him – the way he'd come to know so well. She checked the boxes, tapped the tinctures at her belt. Finally, she made to advance up the mountain and-
Kurt felt himself choking. Watching her go was like being split in two. A wave of panic and pain washed over him like he'd never felt before. The realisation that now – here, in this place –he might be saying goodbye permanently… It was more than his heart could bear. He strode after her.
She heard his footsteps, familiar enough now that she knew it was him and didn't draw her weapon. They stared at one another for what felt like an eternity before he crossed to her, kissing her, wrapping his arms around her – as if by doing so he could somehow capture her, capture that moment.
They'd known one another for most of her lifetime, and the better half of his. It felt so unfair that they might be robbed of one another now, before they could build whatever future they decided upon together. He wanted to tell her of his bank box, of how much he'd liked Sieglinde's suggestion of opening a tavern. He wanted to help her find her kin on the island, to learn all she could about the mark on her face.
But the words he found in the moment were plaintive, forlorn, "Is this the last time I'll see you?"
He watched her face contort as her heart broke. She had no comfort for him, "I don't know."
She moved to kiss him now, and he realised what he needed to do. He held her shoulders as he had when he'd trained her, when he'd needed information to go in when she was tired. He held her at arm's length and looked her square in the eye.
"Go, Greenblood," he said and he pushed her away from him.
A calm seemed to settle on her. She nodded at him once.
And then she was gone.
He heard a yell behind him, Sieglinde screaming that they needed to hold the line. Kurt cracked his shoulders back, then ran for the fray.
