Chapter 6.

Hinata couldn't believe her ears.

Hatake Kakashi was apologizing to her!

She would've never thought it possible, but here he was, and he looked truly remorseful! She was pleasantly surprised by it if she were being honest. Especially considering that she wasn't really affected that much by Hatake's words the previous day.

"–what I said yesterday was unbecoming, so I wanted to apologize," the man finished rather stiffly, once again reiterating that he was sorry.

"I… Of course you are forgiven, don't mention it," Hinata reassured. "I wasn't really–"

Before she could tell him that it was no big deal, a booming voice echoed along the corridor where they stood.

"Kakashi, catch!"

With that warning, a football smashed into the art teacher at a blistering speed. The force of the impact and the suddenness of it made Hatake stumble a few steps back. To his credit, though, he caught the ball.

"What the hell, Gai!" Hatake angrily shouted at the man behind Hinata, making the 8th graders passing by recoil in fear. "You could've hit someone, you buffoon!"

"Sorry, sorry," Might apologized sheepishly. "I never doubted you, that is why I don't fear injuring anybody when it's you catching it, ha-ha!" the man praised his 'rival', smacking him in the back.

Hinata smirked. If Gai secretly wanted to kill Hatake with his throw, then he surely was going to finish the job with his friendly gestures. Her smile quickly turned into a frown, however, as Hatake dropped the ball from his colleague's forceful pat, the action drawing her attention to his arms. He tried to hide it, but Hinata could plainly see that his injured arm started acting up again.

Hatake saw the look the health assistant was giving him, immediately knowing that she noticed. It didn't help that in five minutes his lesson started, making the Hyuga girl's interference even more likely. He got that she wanted to help and it was her job, but he didn't feel comfortable exposing himself so to a stranger.

"So, Kakashi, it's been too long since our last contest! Let's meet up after school and–"

"I'm going to class."

Hatake didn't wait for his rival to finish his invitation as he slipped into his classroom, leaving Hinata alone with Gai.

"As cool as usual, I see," Gai tried to laugh it off, but the woman could see he was upset.

"I'm sure he'll accept your challenge," the Hyuga smiled at him, following inside after the art teacher.

Most of the students had already arrived by the time Hatake entered, as it was almost the start of the class. Even so, they looked surprised to see their teacher come so early. The way with which the loud classroom quieted was so abrupt that for a second she thought she'd imagined it. Making sure the class was absolutely silent, Hatake went into the lesson.

Hinata bit her lip; there just was no stopping the stubborn art teacher. Sighing, the woman took her place at the back of the class to observe. If he wanted to conduct a class with a hurting arm then all the power to him.

At first, everything went as normally. Except for the curious glances from students directed at her every now and then and some whispers, Hinata was pretty much ignored. Despite it being another class, word had spread around about their little spat with Hatake, and now it looked like the whole school knew that there was someone who could stand up to the scary teacher. The health assistant's only hope was that this new knowledge wouldn't negatively affect Mr. Hatake's classes.

Her worries were unfounded, it seemed. If the students were less afraid of their art teacher then they didn't show it. As per usual, Hatake made a point to harshly criticize at least a couple of them.

"Have you even been attending any of my lessons for the past three years? Even the most talentless hack would've learned by now."

One of the girls was apparently struggling with an easy task according to him.

"One more word and you are out of the class."

There must be absolute silence when he is speaking.

And so, the class went on well enough for almost an hour. The first half under complete control of the teacher, while the second he as usually allowed students a little more freedom. It was at the beginning of the second half when trouble started to arise. Hatake's neuropathic pain flared up when he attempted to improve one of the students' underpainting.

"Your shadows don't make any sense," he scolded as he applied the earthy color on the canvas. "How do you think it's supposed to go with this lighting?!"

Hinata watched him berate his student while he helped him out. She wondered if it was uncomfortable for him to use the brush at such an awkward angle. It didn't seem to affect him much until she saw him flinch. The girl who meekly thanked him for his help didn't notice, but Hinata who sat at the back did. He immediately gave the brush to the girl and hastened to leave for his desk, a tense look on his face.

The health assistant kept her eyes on the man for the rest of the lesson. Frowning every time his face scrunched up in pain when his arm spasmed. Thankfully, students were oblivious to their teacher's condition, consumed with their work. Even when he stopped his paperwork to rub his arm and let an audible hiss of pain, nobody seemed to pay any attention.

Hinata thought it fortunate that the way Hatake conducted his workshops made it easier for him to be left unnoticed in the second half. Perhaps it was one of the reasons he allowed so much freedom during the second hour compared to the first. She figured his pain usually becomes worse the longer he uses his arm, so it made sense to do as little work as possible. In addition to a good way of observing the students it was a perfect way for him to rest his arm. So as long as nobody asked him to do any work he was fine.

It took some patience but when the class ended, Hinata waited for the rest to leave so she could speak with Hatake privately.

"Are you going to the nurse's office? Good job with today's lesson, by the way," she said, coming up to his desk.

"I'm fine," he said, raising a brow at the report she handed him, ignoring the praise. "Work on your nurturing side?" he read the last sentence. "Are you going to write it in every report?"

Hinata shrugged. "It's pretty much the only thing you need to improve," she smirked. "And you didn't seem fine to me."

"I think I should know better when it concerns my body," he retorted.

Just as the words left his lips his arm spasmed, releasing the pen he'd been holding. It rolled down the desk, falling on the floor with a thud. It was Hinata's turn to arch a brow in question.

"You can't make me," he asserted, crossing his arms.

"And I won't," Hinata confirmed with a nod, picking up his fallen pen and handing it back to him, once again surprising Hatake, if his expression was any indication. "Just making a suggestion. You know, if the pain is too much."

"Well, it's not," was what he said, finishing the conversation.

Hinata didn't argue, deciding that it was better to just leave the man be. S

Kakashi followed the departing woman with his eyes, waiting for a few more seconds after the door closed behind her before slumping in his chair with a groan. The pain started rearing its ugly head in the middle of the fucking lesson, and it didn't look that it planned to stop anytime soon. He despised taking drugs, though, so hardly ever did it. However, perhaps this time he should take some pain relief. Sighing and groaning, he stood up and went to Tsunade. Her office had a water dispenser and he felt safer taking his medicine there.

Thankfully, it was lunch time and there wasn't anybody in the nurse's office apart from the nurse herself. He was especially glad that the Hyuga girl wasn't there, likely on her lunchbreak. No need to give her another reason to gloat, he thought, even though he knew she would never do that. That woman was too professional for such pettiness.

It seemed he doubly lucked out, as Tsunade was about to leave just when he arrived. With one look at him, the woman nodded in understanding and let him in. In a few minutes, they will be sitting in there and discussing his life, just as usual.

"Kakashi, you are already thirty one, haven't you thought about achieving something more in life? With your talent–"

"I am perfectly comfortable with my current position," he cut her off, taking a sip of his water.

"Are you?" she asked, disbelief clear in her tone. "Then why do you act as if you hate your job?"

"I don't act like I hate my job!" he tried to retort, but even he knew how untrue that statement sounded.

"Oh really? You receive a ton of complaints every year; your students dislike you and you have no friends among co-workers your age; you live in a school for fucks sake!" she listed off. "Do I need to continue?"

"So what?" he grumbled, long used to the older woman's blunt speech. "You also seem comfortable being just a nurse. Anyway, why are you scolding me like I'm some kind of a child?"

"I'm fine with being a nurse because I've lived my life," she said, and it was true. Hatake knew more than anyone that she was a very accomplished professional in her field, and being a nurse was an equivalent of retirement for her. "And I will talk to you like you are a brat because you act like one!"

Seeing as Hatake didn't respond, only looking down at the floor, Tsunade's eyes softened.

"Listen, I understand that you've gone through some horrible shit in your life, but it's been more than ten years already. You've got to let it go and move on."

The words were familiar to him, for it was often that he heard them not only from Tsunade but from himself too. In his bouts of self-deprecating epiphany, he often berated himself for his inaction. Those episodes were few and far between, but nobody could say he didn't recognize his sorry state. Meanwhile, Tsunade continued her tirade.

"Do you think Obito would've wanted you to end up like this?" When Kakashi's gaze lifted at the mention of his late friend, Tsunade pressed on, recognizing the rare flicker of willingness to listen in the man's eyes, "He considered you his rival, someone who was going to compete with him at the very top. Come on, don't you think it's disrespectful to waste your life like that? When you've been given a chance–"

"And what good did it do to me?!" he finally exploded, anger and frustration swirling behind those tired eyes. "You speak of it as if his sacrifice did me any good!" he said, not able to help but give a loathsome look at his right hand. "I would rather die than receive such a blessing!"

When his outburst died down, Tsunade gave him a long hard look. "So it was about you all along," she stated, voice barely a whisper but words resounding in Kakashi's head louder than his own screams earlier.

"Of course not!" he denied, feeling guilt wash over him. "It's just… I don't… It's my fault okay!?" Tsunade's eyes widened at the man's admission. His eyes glazed over; his face relaxed from the perpetual frown the pain had accustomed him to. He looked like he was revisiting… no, reliving a bad memory. Was he seeing the car's headlights reflect off the water when he looked into his cup, she wondered? "It's my fault that it happened. If Obito hadn't turned the car in the last moment–"

"You would've both ended up dead," she finished, making Kakashi look at her again. He looked lost, just as lost as the thirteen-year-old boy who'd first appeared at the doorstep of her clinic so many years ago. Just as lost as the twenty years old man who grieved at his best friend's bedside. Sometimes Tsunade forgot how old she was and how young Kakashi was in comparison. How much more tragic his life had been. "You would've both died and there would be no one to carry out Obito's will," she said not unkindly, but with hard conviction still, "or did you forget about your promise!?"

"Of course I haven't!" it seemed she wasn't the only one whose confidence was coming back. "That promise is the only reason I am where I am!"

'To find someone who'd finish what I and Obito started!'

"Why?"

"Why what?" Kakashi asked as he slumped back into his chair, their emotionally charged conversation taking its toll on his perpetually tired body.

"Why are you looking for a successor? I'm no artist, but from what I heard you are talented enough to have your work displayed on the walls of galleries, so why can't you do it? Your and Obito's work was much simpler than that."

"You are right, you are no artist," he retorted. "I already told you that I don't have the mind for that high-end pretentious shit, the kind that sells for millions to pompous idiots who cannot even comprehend a fraction of the work that goes into making it," even now he scoffed at the mere idea.

"Then the more reason for you to finish what you started. If you love it then I see no reason to not do it!"

"You don't understand, it has to be perfect! And I cannot…" he trailed off, looking at his ruined hand.

"So you are going to sulk in self pity until the end of your days? What happens if you don't find someone suitable to complete your 'perfect' work, then what? I'll tell you what: you are going to regret it till the end of your life! All I'm hearing are excuses for you to not revisit painful memories and a fear of failing."

When there was no response to her words, Tsunade kept going.

"How can you not understand? That comic was your and Obito's creation. You'll never find anyone to finish it for you because you are the best candidate for it! So what if your hand is messed up, it's not like you can't draw! Be it only half an hour a day, at least you'll finish it someday!" she said, finding her voice get louder. With a calming breath, she continued, "Listen, you can keep wasting away your every chance, and I'm talking about not only your promise, but everything in your life in general… Or, you could finally suck it up and do something about it."

Kakashi didn't let her know that he heard her. He just left, quietly and without a word. Tsunade hoped she'd at least made him consider her words. Shaking her head, she proceeded to leave her office as well, locking the door behind her.


As Kakashi was passing by across the cafeteria, he thought long and hard about Tsunade's words. In his ruminations, he forgot to acknowledge his colleagues, something that he was sure they didn't care about anyway. Almost mechanically, he picked the sandwich and a juice pack from the fridge, moving towards the exit, when a familiar voice called after him.

"Hey, Mr. Hatake, would you like to join us?"

Turning, he saw a smiling health assistant, surrounded by other teachers, all looking confused at their friend for making such a sudden proposition. Kakashi found himself considering her offer.

He gave Hinata a long look. Tsunade's words about him wasting every opportunity he got still echoed in his head. For some reason, this felt like a challenge. If he just tried to do as Tsunade told, then perhaps he would know for sure whether he was right or she… That's it! He will try to do things differently, if only to see if something would change in him. It was difficult for Kakashi to understand, much less justify it in his head, but he found himself agreeing to Miss Hyuga's invitation. The woman was predictably surprised, but it looked like it was a pleasant one for her.

Other teachers' reaction was also predictable. They didn't voice it or made a big deal out of it, but he could tell that the atmosphere at the table changed once he took his place in the corner of it. His colleagues seemed to be less lively than how he remembered them from the times he witnessed their interactions. Even Asuma seemed less keen on bantering with Kurenai. They mostly ignored him, and he was fine with it. His head was already filled with other thoughts.

"Why don't you eat the food school provides?" he heard someone ask from his right. Well, he knew who the voice belonged to even before turning to look at them. Afterall, only she would voluntarily initiate conversation with him.

"Don't want to."

He could almost see her pouting in his head. For some reason, that Hyuga woman was interested in befriending him. Why else would she go out of her way to invite him at their table?

That woman was an odd one, he thought to himself about Hinata Hyuga. From her first day at Konoha she never seemed to give way to rumors about him. She even kept his injury a secret from others, the fact he appreciated greatly. Heck, she didn't make a big deal out of his behavior yesterday, when he pretty much made a fool of himself in front of the whole class and crossed the line he'd never thought he would. She might have found no issue with it but he did, and he was glad that she understood that he was sincere in his apology.

Once again, Tsunade's words creeped into his mind. Why is it that today he was so susceptible to the older woman's nagging?

'Who am I kidding?' he said to himself. Her words were never something new to him. She'd been saying the same thing for years, afterall. He knew that she was right; just didn't want to admit it to himself. He was going back on his promise to Obito whether he wanted to admit it or not. Tsunade was right – he needed to suck it up and start working. Not the half-assed attempts he'd been doing all these years. Real work. It didn't matter if he wanted to finish the comic by himself or find someone among the students to do it for him. He needed to work harder, be it to become a better artist or a better teacher…

His train of thought was interrupted by a question from the woman beside him.

"Do you want some?" she said, and it took another second for Kakashi to notice a bag of cookies she held in front of him.

"No, thanks," he replied, a little befuddled. When was the last time his co-workers offered him anything?

Hyuga didn't press any further, proceeding to share the pastry with everyone else.

Once again, Kakashi discreetly considered the friendly woman.

She always seemed to offer him her help, and he always rejected it. It felt like if he kept refusing he'll end up losing an opportunity. She seemed genuine enough when she said that he was a good teacher. Maybe Tsunade was right and he should stop pitying himself and start using every chance he got. If he wanted to honor Obito's promise, then he needed to keep his job. It paid well enough and Danzou and Hiruzen had made it clear that one more complaint and he was out…

"Fuck me," he swore quietly, letting out a heavy sigh, the action drawing Hinata's attention. "Would you mind if we talked somewhere in private?" he asked, making sure nobody else overheard. He was willing to let go of his pride but not to the degree that everyone learns of it.

"Sure, we can talk at Tsunade's office after lunch," she easily agreed.

Kakashi nodded, getting another curious look from Hinata before she got distracted once again by her female friends.

Later that day Kakashi will ponder on what exactly made him accept the young woman's offer of help. Maybe it was her odd attitude. Maybe her professionalism had elicited feelings of trust on his part. Or maybe, just maybe, it was a coincidence and his mind had finally given in after years of his resolve being chipped at by Tsunade's nagging. In any case, starting from tomorrow he was no longer a sulking, self-pitying loser he'd been all these years after the accident. It was time he sucked it up and started doing well by his promise.

To do well by Obito.