Last Chapter: Botan went to Demon World to find Hiei, whose reaction to her left her thinking about him all the more. She went to Keiko for advice, and decided that the advice Keiko gave her was sound, and so she set out to follow it – which meant returning to Demon World to spend more time with Hiei.
Chapter 5: Not That Hard
"Please Hiei. I just need… I just need to know."
When Hiei grunted and nodded to her request, Botan wasted no time in removing her coat and throwing it down. She kicked off her sneakers and started to remove her sweater, only stopping when Hiei held up both hands, his eyes almost doubling in size.
"What are you doing?" he demanded.
"I was going to join you in the water," Botan replied, slowly lowering her sweater down again.
"You can't do that!" he sharply replied.
"Yes I can, it'll be fine Hiei, I promise!"
Botan swiftly whipped off her sweater and lowered her jeans, stepping out of them and finding Hiei giving her an odd look.
"See, I came prepared!" she said to him, pointing at the swimsuit she was wearing.
"…Why were you wearing that underneath your clothes?" he asked, his voice so quiet, it was almost as though he was talking to himself more than her.
"I always dress in layers," Botan casually replied as she edged up to the water. "I never know where I'm going to end up, so I like to be prepared."
She poked her toe into the water, realising then that there was a drop away from the bank of the river, and so sat down on the ground and slid herself in slowly. The drop off, it turned out, was not as extreme as she had expected it to be, and moving into the middle of the river, the deepest part of the water still only came to the tops of her thighs. She turned to Hiei, and realised then that he was not as tall as he ought to be.
"Are you crouching down under there?" she asked him.
"Yes," he flatly replied.
"Oh, okay."
Botan bent her legs, immersing more of herself into the water until she was eye level with him.
"This water feels nice," she commented.
Hiei grunted non-committedly, avoiding looking directly at her.
"You know Hiei, you and I don't often get the chance to just talk," she began.
"Is that why you came here?" he asked her. "Just to make idle conversation with me?"
"I just thought that we should get to know each other better."
"We know each other well enough."
Botan pouted at Hiei in frustration, but he continued to avoid looking directly at her.
"I know almost nothing about you, Hiei," she corrected him.
"You know enough," he replied.
"Okay, well, what do you know about me?"
Hiei's eyes momentarily widened, but he quickly covered the slight betrayal of his own true feelings upon hearing Botan's question.
"I know enough," he responded.
"Well alright, smarty-pants, tell me what you like about me."
Hiei finally met Botan's eyes, giving her an incredulous look.
"As a friend," she quickly qualified. "What do you like about me as a friend I mean?"
His eyebrows lowered and his eyes thinned slightly, and Botan suddenly wished he would go back to looking away from her.
"For example," she tried. "I like that you are clever, and you never give up, and you are reliable."
"You think I'm reliable?" he responded.
"Yes, I do," Botan confirmed with a nod of her head.
"You think I'm loyal?"
"Yes."
"To Spirit World?"
"Well, maybe not to Spirit World, but you are loyal to your friends."
"As are you."
"Oh, well, there you go! That's something we have in common."
"I'm not loyal to Spirit World."
"No, but that's okay."
"I'm not loyal to Demon World either."
"Well, that's okay too."
"Are you trying to find out if I'll be loyal to you?"
Botan and Hiei looked at each other in silence for a long moment. Botan could not even begin to guess what Hiei was thinking or what he had meant with his last question, but she was unsure how to answer him, and so she let the moment drag on. Eventually, deciding to be diplomatic, to avoid committing herself to something she might not wish to address so directly just yet, she chose her most neutral answer.
"I hope that you will be loyal to helping me and working with me in my new role," she said carefully.
"Is that really why you came here?"
Botan could not tell if Hiei had seen through her ruse – either due to his intuitiveness or the fact that he could just go ahead and read her real intentions with his Jagan Eye – but she was starting to suspect she would not get away with lying to him for much longer.
"I just wanted to get to know you better," she meekly admitted, being mindful not to specify why.
"There's nothing to know," Hiei dismissively answered.
"That's not true, Hiei!" Botan argued. "I don't know anything about you!"
"You know more than most."
"Like what?"
"You know that Yukina is my sister. You know I am an emiko. You know I was cast out of the ice village at birth. You know I was a criminal who stole artefacts from the human and spirit worlds. You know that during that time, I met Kurama, and we worked together. You know I have a falsely implanted Jagan Eye. What else do you need to know?"
"Those are all facts about things that have happened to you, or things you've done. Those aren't facts about you."
"I don't understand the difference."
Botan's face fell. That was probably the most Hiei thing she had ever heard Hiei say in all the time she had known him: and perhaps that was all she knew, or ever would know, about him as a person.
"I suppose it doesn't matter," she sighed. "Or – how about this instead – is there anything about me you'd like to know more about or know better?"
Hiei's eyes moved downwards so briefly, Botan wondered if it was just a subconscious twitch rather than what it had appeared to be: he appeared to have looked at her chest towards the end of her question. Yusuke's comment about Hiei being on eye-level with her chest played out in her mind against her will, and she was forced to literally shake her head to shake her thoughts back to some sort of sense.
"Why did you take the job?" Hiei asked.
"Oh, that's a good question!" Botan replied, pleased that he appeared to be cooperating with her at last. "Well, even though I did like being a ferry girl, I always wanted to be something more. Especially after being Yusuke's assistant. When Yusuke left the role and I had to return to being a ferry girl again, it felt boring. I felt empty. I wanted adventure and excitement again."
"Being a ferry girl was a safer job for you," Hiei pointed out.
"Yes, well, that may be, but sometimes a little bit of danger is necessary!"
"You could get hurt. Or worse."
"Well, excuse me, but I see to remember a certain someone nearly dying several times, and sometimes not even for any good reason!"
"Every action I take has a purpose."
"Sacrificing your soul in Kaito's territory had a purpose?"
Hiei twitched.
"I proved my point," he said.
"What point?" Botan asked.
"That I wasn't going to let something as insignificant as a word control me," Hiei replied.
"But it did control you," Botan pointed out. "You lost your soul!"
"And you held me after my body had been turned to stone."
Botan swallowed hard.
"H-how do you know about that?" she asked.
Hiei paused before answering.
"Kuwabara told me."
"Kuwabara? He hates you, why would he tell you something like that!"
"He thought it was funny."
Botan remembered that Kuwabara had been laughing, more so than Yusuke, when Kurama had first told her that Hiei had feelings for her, so it probably made sense that Kuwabara would have teased him about it. Kurama had also said that Yusuke and Kuwabara had been teasing Hiei about his feelings for Botan, had she just unwittingly stumbled across something in particular they liked to tease him about?
"Well, sometimes Kuwabara doesn't understand everything that's going on," she said.
"It had better stay that way," Hiei replied.
"I've never told Kuwabara that Yukina is your sister!" Botan cried defensively. "He talks about it all the time, about how he wants to be the one to find Yukina's long lost brother, how he wants to be the one to bring Yukina's brother to her, and I say nothing!"
"Yet."
"I never said anything! After all this time! I have kept that secret for years!"
"You're typically not very good at keeping secrets."
"Well excuse me for not being so secretive like you are!"
"What are you implying?"
"That you keep secrets all the time!"
"Like what?"
"I don't know, like how you're Yukina's brother! You've never admitted that to anyone, I only know because Lord Koenma told me!"
Botan sighed, feeling attacked, but the feeling passed quickly when she saw the way Hiei was looking at her. She searched his eyes, trying to think what she had missed in their last exchange.
"Is there something else you're keeping secret that I should be concerned about?" she asked him.
He immediately looked upwards, his action so sudden, Botan followed his eyes. The sky was black at the very top, though it still glowed a deep shade of red around the horizon (in every direction). There were no stars to see, but the gradual change from pitch black at the very top of the sky to the red of the horizon was quite a pretty sight. The landscape was not as dark as it ought to be for nightfall, but Botan reasoned that was probably because of the light still lingering around the horizon. Demon World was a strange place, but it was still beautiful in its own way. In one direction, a distance thunderstorm was occasionally illuminating a mountain range, and in the opposite direction, there was a vague static charge of an ongoing battle between two very powerful demons some distance away.
"You should go."
Botan looked down at Hiei again, but he had turned away from her.
"But I wanted to talk to you!" she protested.
"We did talk," he flatly replied.
"But we didn't actually talk about anything!" Botan argued.
"We spoke about enough. You should go."
"Is there a reason you suddenly want rid of me?"
Hiei looked back over his shoulder at Botan.
"I'm getting out of the water now," he said.
"So?" she countered.
Hiei started to stand up, and as the waterline reached the outward curve of his rear end she abruptly turned away.
"Are you naked?" she cried.
"Yes," he plainly replied.
"Why would you be swimming in here naked?" she wailed.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Botan cupped her hands by her eyes as she heard Hiei wading out of the river. She could not even imagine what he looked like naked below the waist, and she was not nearly ready to see the actuality. She briefly considered it odd that, minutes earlier, she had been fine with the idea of Hiei seeing her naked, and yet she was not ready to see him that way, but dismissed it when her mind began telling her that, if he got dressed in that moment, it would still be okay with her presenting herself to him devoid of her swimsuit.
"Why won't you look at me?" he asked.
Botan froze. In her mind, she was imagining him standing with his legs astride and his hands on his hips: though everything below his waist was vague and undefined in her mind.
"It wouldn't be right," she meekly answered him.
Botan heard Hiei moving about behind her, but she did not dare move from her position until she was sure she had allowed him sufficient time to get dressed again. At that point, she peeked out from behind one hand, over her shoulder, and found him standing by the bank of the river, dressed the way she more usually saw him, with every part of his body below the neck obscured beneath baggy black clothing.
"I'll escort you back."
Botan was so taken aback by his offer she took a moment to respond.
"O-oh, well, that's very kind of you," she began. "But I'm–"
"I'm not doing it out of "kindness"," he replied, almost spitting out the word "kindness". "I'm doing it out of duty."
"Okay."
Botan stood up and waded over to the edge of the water, feeling that her visit to Demon World had been a waste of time. She probably should have just gone to bed, had a good night's sleep, and waited until the meeting in Demon World the next day to bother Hiei. Just at the moment that she started to feel stupid she stopped short, crossing her eyes to focus on the hand that had just appeared in front of her face. She hesitated, looking down at Hiei's hand, partially wrapped in slightly ragged bandages. At such close proximity, she could see every imperfection of his skin, the imprint of his fingerprints, fingerprints that were doubtlessly on half of the treasures in the evidence locker in Spirit World. The bandages around his hand were made of gauze, wrinkled and, in some places, starting to fray.
"Come on," he urged her.
She looked up at him, sliding her hand into his. In the poor lighting, she could not really make out the look on his face, but she did not have time to wonder about it too much, as he pulled her from the water with a little too much force, turning what had seemed like a chivalrous gesture into what was more like as close to chivalry as Hiei was ever likely to get. Botan stumbled awkwardly onto the riverbank, and nodded a thanks to Hiei, but he did not release her hand.
It was odd, because holding onto his hand in that moment felt exactly the way Botan had always imagined holding hands with him might have felt – not that she had really given it much thought before that moment, and yet still, the sensation met her expectations. His hand was slightly cold, particularly so at the tips of his fingers, much like her own hands were. His skin felt soft and light.
It was different to the way it had felt when she had touched his hand accidentally on the way out of Koenma's office, where she remembered that his hand had felt hot and his skin had felt calloused: though she supposed the temperature difference probably had a lot to do with the difference between being indoors and being outside at night, straight out of a river.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
He grunted and finally released her hand. She quietly got dressed again as he patiently waited for her, turned away as though he thought he needed to be for some reason. Once she was ready, she summoned her oar and turned to Hiei to offer him a ride.
"Don't be ridiculous," he said before she could speak her question. "I'll follow you on the ground."
"Okay," Botan agreed.
Sitting onto her oar and rising up into the air, she quickly decided it was for the best that he had declined her offer. She was not sure she was ready to be in a situation where they would be forced to sit so closely together, a situation neither of them could quickly escape from if things became awkward. She flew on, watching the ground as much as she watched for the portal back home. He never looked up at her, but she supposed that he had no need to. He surely knew where all the portals were, and would be running towards the nearest one: and yet he kept perfect pace with her as she flew. Eventually, she reached her exit, pausing and holding up a hand to wave goodbye. Hiei had stopped below her, but did not appear to be looking up in her direction, and so, with a sigh, she slipped through the portal.
Botan yelped as she arrived in Spirit World, her last look down as she passed showing that Hiei had eventually looked up and held up a hand to her. She contemplated going back through the portal, but decided that she had waved first, and surely his wave to her was just an answer to her initial gesture, and so she slowly continued on.
The portal Botan had come through took her back on the south-east side of the temple, approaching from beyond the garden walls. She could see the row of windows that belonged the ferry girls' sleeping quarters, and, as was to be expected at that time of night, all the windows were in darkness. As she drew closer still however, Botan noticed that, in fact, one of the windows was illuminated. It was the very end window, the one at the very end of the corridor, the window that belonged to the largest and best of the rooms: it was Ayame's room.
Botan sighed to herself. It was odd that Ayame would still be awake, since she was usually so disciplined, but Botan thought that the older ferry girl was probably still awake because she was studying, or working on something. Ayame was so organised, so careful, no word or action ever unnecessary or wasted. Everything she did was meticulous and flawless, and she had a near-irritating ability to make everything she did look incredibly easy. Ayame always followed the rules, she never took chances and she never took risks. Some of the other ferry girls hated her for her haughty perfection, and although Botan shared their envy of Ayame's put-togetherness, she found it hard to hate her, as there was simply nothing to hate about her.
Botan flew up to the illuminated window, hovering there for a moment as she wondered if she ought to call on Ayame. Maybe she was working on something and would appreciate some help. Botan raised her hand towards the window but stopped, just shy of her goal, as she began to fall into the idea that Ayame probably would not want, or even appreciate, her offer of help. Whatever it was she was up so late working on was probably something top secret, something Botan, even in her new role as Special Spirit Detective, would not be privy to.
Botan lowered her hand to her lap and hung her head. She wished that she and Ayame were closer. Or that she and any of the other ferry girls were closer. There was no-one in Spirit World Botan felt she could really confide in, not in the way she confided in Shizuru and Keiko, and that was really quite sad.
"Botan, what are you doing?"
Botan gasped as she noticed that the window ahead of her was open ajar, and Ayame was suddenly standing at it, holding the curtain aside.
"Hi, Ayame!" Botan awkwardly replied, waving a hand at her.
"Why are you up so late?" Ayame asked her. "And why are you hovering outside my window?"
"Well, I was just coming back, and noticed you were still up," Botan began.
"Coming back?" Ayame asked. "Back from where?"
"Demon World," Botan replied.
Ayame looked surprised, and it was only when she saw that look on the ferry girl's face that Botan realised it was probably unusual for a ferry girl to be visiting Demon World, least of all so late at night.
"As part of your new role?" Ayame asked.
"Yes," Botan replied, jumping onto the excuse Ayame had unwittingly offered her. "I was meeting with an officer of the Border Patrol, in fact."
"Hiei?"
Botan faltered slightly upon hearing Ayame guess the correct answer so quickly and address it so directly to her.
"Yes," Botan admitted.
"So… You're going back to them?" Ayame asked.
"Back to them?" Botan echoed. "What do you mean?"
Ayame sighed and appeared to look worried.
"It's just a little odd, a ferry girl always spending time around demons," she said sadly. "You're the only one of us who does."
Ayame looked to her side and Botan copied her action, looking down along the long row of windows, each one belonging to a different ferry girl. She supposed Ayame had been trying to make the point that Botan was one of many, and yet she was the only one who deviated from the norm, the only one who had befriended beings in the other worlds.
"Demons aren't all bad," Botan tried.
"No, but it's not our place, nor our business, to be mixing with them," Ayame replied. "Least of all the way you do."
Botan stiffened indignantly.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked.
"I mean you're very attached to some of them," Ayame replied. "It's dangerous. It's inappropriate."
"Well, that's just your opinion," Botan haughtily responded. "And as Yusuke – a demon – always says, everyone has an opinion, just like an asshole."
Botan suspected she had quoted Yusuke wrongly, but Ayame looked offended, and that was a good enough response for her, and so she owned her words, folding her arms and raising her chin smugly.
"It's not normal for a spirit to be so involved with demons," Ayame said softly. "Just think about that."
She closed her curtain and closed her window and Botan continued on her way: but she could not help but think that Ayame was jealous. She was also certain that all the other ferry girls felt the same way. She was sure they were all looking at her as though she was strange because she went to places and met with beings they never did. Usually, that idea would have upset her (and it had occurred to her more than once before), but as she was starting a new role within Spirit World, it no longer mattered what the other ferry girls thought, did or said, because she was no longer one of their number.
Botan smiled to herself, thinking about the freedom her new role would give her. She could choose where she went, when she went there, who she met with and what she did. It was a blessing. It almost made her feel like she had been severely suppressed in her previous role, the lowest ranking of her species, a mere servant in her own world: but finally, in her new role, she was free.
"Botan."
Botan moaned softly, stretching in her bed and resettling herself to continue sleeping.
"Botan."
She groaned and screwed up her face, but refused to open her eyes.
"Botan!"
She gasped and opened her eyes: but the face leering over her did not match the voice that had been calling her name.
"Botan, Lord Koenma sent me to wake you up," George greeted her.
Botan propped herself up on her elbows and blinked at him. She could have sworn she had heard Hiei calling her name, at first softly, then firmly, and then with a degree of urgency, the third time being so insistent that it had awoken her.
"You have your big meeting in Demon World today, Miss Botan," George said.
"Yes," Botan groggily replied. "George, how long have you been standing there?"
George looked about himself before hanging his head meekly.
"Apologies, Miss, but you didn't respond when I knocked on your door, and Lord Koenma told me to hurry," he said in a tone as pathetic and subservient as he looked in his hunched over pose.
"No, that's fine," Botan said, sweeping aside her bedsheets and swinging her legs over the edge of her bed. "It's just… I thought I heard someone else with you."
"No, it's just me," George replied.
Botan nodded. She did not think that she looked especially cute when she first woke up, so she was silently glad that Hiei had not snuck into Spirit World to see her – as enticing as that idea was – she would rather he did not do something like that when she was just waking up. She stood up and stretched her arms above her head, and as she moved up onto her balls of her feet, an idea occurred to her that made her lose her balance and almost fall back down on her bed.
If Hiei was going to surprise her by visiting her in her room in Spirit World, she would prefer he did it when she was in the shower.
"Are you okay, Botan?" George asked.
"I'm fine!" Botan lied, waving away his offer of assistance as she righted her balance. "Tell Lord Koenma I'll be with him momentarily."
George nodded and bowed to her, before backing out of the room and closing the door: but not before Botan heard two passing ferry girls whispering about the fact that she was going to Demon World. Botan stuck her tongue out, even though they would not see her gesture through the closed door, and then set off to get herself ready for the day.
She slid open the door on one side of her wardrobe, reached up, gathered up all her outfits and then spun around, flinging them all over her bed. She then closed the door, opened the door at the other side, and repeated her actions. This was her first day in her new job, she had to look professional. But it was also a day where she was going to see Hiei, a day of going to see Hiei after (albeit unknowingly) being in a river with him when he had been naked, and so it was important that she also looked good. She had a lovely orange kimono with a flower decoration, but she was sure she had worn it to the Dark Tournament, and therefore Hiei had already seen her in that outfit, and so she could not possibly wear it again. Not unless he especially liked her in that outfit. Yusuke had said that Hiei's attraction to her had started during the Dark Tournament, what if that one kimono was what had done it for him?
Demon World was also a warm place, so maybe she could wear something from her summer collection. Something that showed her legs, perhaps. Something that was professional, but sexy, something that would show people she was taking her new role seriously and that she was to be taken seriously, but something that also turned heads.
"Hurry up, Botan!"
Botan sighed at the sound of Koenma's voice bellowing down the corridor outside her room. She turned to the full-length mirror in her room to check herself, turning from side to side before giving herself a nod of approval. The spaghetti strap lemon sheath dress she was wearing was perfect for the occasion: it fell to just below her knee, which was a professional length, but it was nicely form-fitting and open around the neck and shoulders, so was equally sexy. She was wearing her hair in low pigtails, that again looked both sensible and cute, and she even had a nice pair of shoes and a sensible bag that matched her dress.
The funny thing was, it was an outfit she had seen Shizuru wear once, but one that she had no recollection of owning herself: but she did recall, when she had admired the outfit on her friend, that Shizuru had told her she would also suit such a look, and so perhaps she had acquired it around that time.
Botan shrugged and moved on, opening the door and finding Koenma standing there, in his adult form.
"Botan, we have to go!" he said urgently.
He paused, looking her over slowly.
"You look nice, Botan," he said quietly.
"Thank you, Sir," Botan replied sweetly. "You don't look so bad yourself."
Koenma looked slightly confused, but shook it off, and together they set off. As they walked the halls of the temple, Botan felt that same feeling she had felt after visiting Keiko the day before. She was embarking on something new, something exciting, something incredible. It was hard for her to control herself as she walked, hard for her not to skip or break out into a run, hard for her to control her smile, to keep it polite and stop it from becoming goofy. When they reached King Enma's throne room, she sobered a little, the sight of him getting into a large palanquin, held up by countless ogres, reminding her of the formality of the situation. The entire SDF were present, taking station all around King Enma. An ogre brought Koenma a white horse to ride, helping him mount it and then taking the reins to walk alongside and guide the horse.
"Where should I stand?" Botan whispered up at Koenma.
He looked down at her for a moment before sighing and nodding at the ogre by the horse's head. The ogre turned to her and Botan waited for him to tell her where she was expected to join the party, but instead he wordlessly threw her over his shoulder and then sat her down behind Koenma, facing out the way, sitting her on the horse in the same position she would take to ride her oar.
"I could have ridden my oar," she whispered to Koenma.
"It's fine, Botan," he replied. "Just keep quiet."
Botan nodded her agreement, clutching at the saddle of the horse as it began to move, taking a moment to adjust to the rolling movement of the horse's gait before settling. Koenma followed behind his father and three SDF officers followed behind him, the entire party passing through an enormous portal King Enma had opened directly to their destination.
As they passed into Demon World, Botan took a deep breath, thinking to herself that the air was not nearly as unpleasant as Spirit World always described it as, and not even as unpleasant as she remembered it from her first few visits to Demon World. Maybe she was getting accustomed to it, she mused. Maybe Demon World was not such a bad place. And she actually had more friends in Demon World than she did in Spirit World. Maybe, one day, she could move to Demon World.
The horse carrying Koenma and Botan began to move out at an angle, until it reached a point that Botan could see past King Enma's carriage, on to their destination ahead. She smiled at the sight that greeted her.
Mukuro's palace looked exactly the way she always thought it would.
Next Chapter: Botan and Hiei attend the big meeting in Demon World, but their attention is more focused on each other than the meeting itself. Afterwards Hiei shows Botan around – though that appears to have been a ruse to get her alone, and, in a moment where Botan feels an incredible connection to him, Hiei asks her to do something very important. Chapter 6: I'll Give You Love
A/N: Complexity set to soar in the next one (although I think this one heavily hints at ongoing shenanigans).
