Music of the Hours
Damn it Link, where are you?
As she flew through the streets of Clock Town, Tatl reminded herself of three things. One, that if she didn't find the forest boy in the next six hours, she'd either be obliterated by a crashing moon, or thrown into some weird time stream when he went back in time, and she was left to find out what it was like to be at the end of a negated timeline. Second, that her desire to find him, and hope that he wasn't hurt, was based entirely on the first thing, and not out of any actual concern for the boy. The third…flying through the air, looking down below, she reflected that the third point in this little piece of reflection was that as many times as she saw the people of Clock Town spilling out onto the surrounding field, it never got any easier.
She and Link had seen this moment more times than she could count. The same three days repeated over, and over, and over, as time proved as cruel a mistress as she'd been when the first second of Creation had begun. Some things changed. Many things didn't. It made her wonder if up to meeting the forest boy, she even had free will at all, considering how so many things happened in Clock Town the same day, the same way, always. And case in point was that before the strike of twelve, when the Carnival of Time was about to start, the same thing always happened. The same defiance. The same panic. The same screams.
She would see carnival folk beg people to stay, before looking up at the moon themselves and finally giving into their terror. She saw guards on the walls abandon their posts, knowing that this was a foe they could not defend against. She saw swarms of people rushing for the gates – fathers, mothers, children, yelling, screaming, fighting to leave the city as soon as possible. The same people who would flock to the taverns for a final drink, the same people to the same churches, the same who retired to their dwellings, bringing bottles of liquids ranging from wine to substances she guessed were designed to prevent them from ever emerging from their slumber.
And, of course, the preachers. Those who had declared the end was at hand for years, revelling in the coming apocalypse. Taking a perverse glee in the destruction of everything, and that their years of being cast aside had paid off, finding that at the end of all things, all experienced the same poverty of remaining time. When she'd first encountered them, she'd been shocked by the display. Shocked that people could act so normal up to the last minute, before losing their sanity. She'd even asked Link if this was a terminan thing, if there was something in their minds that stopped them from functioning. He'd looked at her, whispered that he wasn't actually terminan, and that he'd seen people living in despair after the world had ended. That none of it surprised him.
She'd given him a hard look at that moment, and it hadn't been the first time. He was a child, she reminded herself, doomed for a short life while she, as a fairy, could live for centuries. They were stuck in this nonsense, thanks to him not giving up when he should have, and this was an alliance of convenience. But every so often, he'd do something, or say something, that made her wonder what had happened to him. If he'd done something, or lost something, or experienced something so terrible, that he managed to defeat everything this world threw at them.
She shook her head and kept flying. Now wasn't the time to wonder. Now was the time to find Link, wind back time, and get going on their quest again. Because they only had one more mask to find, and the sooner they found it, the sooner they could confront Skull Kid again, and the sooner she'd be with her brother, and the forest boy could ride off with his silly horse. And speaking of which…
Really?!
There he was. Sitting on a scaffolding beneath the clock tower. Looking out over the panicking masses, sipping a glass of milk. Not bothering to look up at the night sky as the fireworks began, set off by those mad or stupid enough to stay put. Frowning, she flew over, fighting off any sense of relief she might have so that she could convey the full sense of her frustration.
"Well," she said, hovering in front of him. "There you are."
Link didn't appear to notice her. He was just looking at one of the town's gates.
"Here I've been, looking all over for you, and you've been playing looksie."
Link took a sip of the milk.
"I mean, if something had happened to you, I wouldn't be able to get back," she continued. "I mean, I could try playing that silly little flute of yours, but…well, point is, you're my way out of here, and I won't stand for you leaving things so late again."
Link finally looked at her. "Nice to see you too, Tatl."
"Nice to…nice to see you?!" She spluttered. "Is that all you can say?"
Link didn't say anything.
"Seriously? That's it? Do you have any idea how silly you sound?"
"Hmm, you're right. It isn't nice to see you."
"I…" Tatl trailed off. She knew…hoped…that Link was joking. She hoped that, because hearing those words cut through her like a blade through flesh, and she'd seen plenty of that on their travels so far. Granted, if it wasn't nice to see her, then that didn't matter, because they weren't friends or anything silly like that, so really, she was analysing this too much, and oh goodness those fireworks were loud.
For a good minute, a silence lingered between them. One that not even the fireworks could break. Feeling the remaining seconds of this timeline tick away, watching the forest boy just sit there, as if oblivious to the coming disaster, Tatl finally spoke.
"So," she murmured. "Ready to go?"
Link didn't say anything. He was looking down at the crowd, his eyes wide open.
"I mean, after we defeated that fish creature, we agreed that we could have this cycle off," Tatl continued. "And while I've had a lot of fun, I've still got my brother to save."
Link still didn't say anything. If anything, he was staring even harder, like some kind of scholar studying frogs in a pond.
"I mean, if you had some fun, that's great and all, I mean, I don't know what you do for fun, and frankly, I don't particularly care, but you've been lazy long enough and-"
"She's about to drop her teddy bear."
Tatl stared at Link, then at his outstretched arm, then at Link again. She wanted to say something like "what" or "who," but the words were catching in her mouth. So, bereft of anything to say, she followed the forest boy's arm and looked into the crowd.
"She drops it…now."
A girl in the crowd did. One of dozens of children with dozens of mummies and daddies, heading for one of the four gates. The girl, being carried by her mother, dropped her black bear.
"She begs her mother to pick it up for her."
Tatl couldn't hear what the girl was saying, or even read her lips at this distance, but since the girl was pointing at the bear, and squirming to get out of her mother's arms, she saw no reason to doubt him.
"The mother refuses, the child cries."
So far, Link was still on the money.
"The father runs back, picks up the bear, and hands it back to his daughter."
Tatl had to give it to the man, he was doing a good job of swimming against the tide of the desperate.
"The father gives it back to his daughter, but then things go wrong."
Talk peered through the gloom. Yes, the little girl had her teddy bear back, but now, her parents were arguing. Yelling. She couldn't hear them, but she could see them. Feel them, really – something about their terror reached her all the way over here.
"The mother begins to cry…"
Tatl looked at Link. He was right, yes, but now things were getting freaky.
"…the father leads her away…"
Still on the money, she reflected.
"…the daughter brings her bear over, and offers it to her mother. She refuses, and instead, hugs the child."
Again, still on the money. They'd left the crowd, which struck Tatl as a very silly thing to do, since that would mean they were further away from the gates. But on the other hand, if they got out of Clock Town, what then? Looking up at the moon, drawing ever closer, its eyes blazing, its teeth barred, like a wolf closing in on a lamb…where would they even go?
"And then they stay there with all the others," Link whispered, gesturing to the people who were slumped by the gate – some praying, some singing, some drinking, some weeping. "And then they wait for the end."
Tatl shivered, and it wasn't because of the early morning breeze. There was less than six hours for the moon to crash into Clock Town, and no matter where they were, she always felt it. That chill. That dread. The ground shaking, no matter how far away they were from the centre of Termina. Even if they were in a dungeon, using their precious minutes to plan things for their next attempt, Link had so far managed to warp them back to the day they entered this world before the moon struck, showing an uncanny sense of time. As far as she was concerned however, the wider the berth, the better.
And now he was just sitting here. Spying on some poor smucks who were either going to be obliterated, or…
What does happen when we go through time?
She'd discussed it with Link. Did time get reset? Or were they entering a new timeline every time they wound back the clock, leaving Goddess-knew how many people to die? He'd looked at her, murmured that he had no answer, and done so in a way that made it clear that he didn't want to consider the possibility. That every time they went back to the first day, they were abandoning a world to fire. Leaving hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people to die, over and over, so that finally, eventually, they could save them in one branch of fate.
Link didn't want to think about it. And, truth was, it was one of the few things she agreed with him on.
"So…" Tatl began.
Link was still just sitting there. Back to sipping milk.
"Do you spy on everyone in Clock Town? Or is it just the ones with pretty girls?"
She saw a small quiver in his lip that indicated that she'd struck a nerve. Kind of like with that Romani girl – she could swear Link had a crush on her, but when she'd pestered him for three cycles straight, he'd eventually relented and murmured about Romani reminding him of someone else.
"Or is it-"
"I pick up on things," Link murmured. He looked at Tatl. "Some things change. Other things happen the same way."
Tatl couldn't contest the point, but-
"That bear," he added. "Do you know that I gave it to her?"
Tatl stared at him.
"It's true. Usually, it's a brown bear. Yesterday, I accidentally ruined it, and bought her a black bear in response."
"Accidentally?" Tatl murmured.
"She loved it," Link continued. "Said she liked it even more. Said she forgave me. Called him Bruno, to replace Bill, and that she'd never lose him. But…" He looked back down at the family. "But she always loses the bear. And she always stays with her family. And they always wait for the end together. Every. Single. Time."
Tatl bit her lip. There was a word for Link that was on the tip of her tongue – misanthropic. It was a big word, and big words made people sound smart, but she wasn't sure if it was the right word to use here. Because if you went through the same cycle over and over, seeing the same things over and over, free to indulge in anything without consequence…
"You ever killed someone?" she blurted out.
Link stared at her.
"I mean, if none of this matters, then…"
Link looked away and drew something out of his satchel. A notebook. One that she'd see him scribbling in every so often.
"You ever going to tell me what that's about?" Tatl asked.
Link, without looking up from it, murmured, "thought I told you."
"No, you didn't."
"Swear I did."
"No, you didn't," Tatl repeated, though wondered if he might be right. If all these jumps were taking a toll on her memory. Or if, somehow, Link had wound back time without her, and she was missing entire cycles.
Link sighed. "I'm making a log of who does what, when," he said. "Trying to factor out the variables, trying to work out what always happens, and if it can be stopped."
"What, like girls and teddy bears?"
He shook his head. "Only the important things."
"Right…" Tatl supposed she could think of some of those things, be it that deku princess girl, or the gorons, or whatever those creatures were at the ranch, but she held her tongue, instead asking, "and the end goal is…?"
Link looked at her. "So that when we enter the final run, I'm able to help as many people as I can."
Tatl stared at him. Watched as he went back to staring at the book.
"There's a way," he murmured, seemingly talking to himself more than her. "I just need to see it…somehow, I can do it…"
"Link…"
"I can do it, Tatl." He looked at her, and she blinked, unable to meet his gaze for a second. "Somehow, I can do it. I know you think I can't, but I can do it. I can save everyone."
"Link…"
He sighed, and went back to the book, the fireworks in the sky casting shadows upon his face. "A few more hours, Tatl. After that, we'll go back to the first day and head to the canyon."
"Oh, good. Because what you're doing is really…" She trailed off. She wanted to say 'stupid, but couldn't manage the lie. But telling the truth, that this was perhaps the sweetest, noblest thing she'd ever seen in her life…no, she couldn't say that either. Because…reasons.
But can you do that and deal with Skull Kid at the same time? All in one slog?
She didn't know. Link had amazing stamina, but while they might be able to rewind time, they couldn't wind back his exhaustion. When they'd trudged through the swamp, they'd started the next cycle, only for him to come down with a fever – one that lasted a full three days, before setting off again with a potion from an apothecary in hand. A few cycles after that, he'd come down with the flu – it always rained on the second day, and being exposed to that rain every single time had finally got to him. After getting the second mask, Link had looked so exhausted that she'd 'allowed' him to sleep for three days straight inside the clock tower, despite the salesman's protestations. And again, they'd taken this cycle off. A little celebration before heading east.
She wasn't feeling too well herself, granted, but Link…sometimes, he looked like the walking dead. She could snuggle under his cap, but he was the one who had to walk, or run, or recently, ride, fighting against the clock as much as the monsters that plagued Termina. Every time he returned to his normal self, every time he took off one of those masks, she could swear that she could see wrinkles. Shadows under his eyes, adding to the scars on his body – scars that she couldn't entirely attribute to his time in Termina. And when he allowed himself sleep…well, she heard things. Whispers. She'd see him twist and turn, and when he woke up, he refused to talk about it. Only that he had the same dreams over and over, and that many of them were memories.
That was the thing about the forest boy. Most of the time, he was silent – willing to get the job done, stare death in the face, fight, hack, and do whatever was necessary to get the job done, acting little more than an ant serving his queen. But every so often, he'd do something, or say something, that made her wonder how much he'd seen. How much he'd done. And fear that if she ever knew the answer, her heart would break.
So the sooner they got this over with, the better, she told herself. She'd be with Tael, and he could go riding off to find his stupid fairy – Nahvee, or whatever she was called. She sounded so nice, and so helpful, and so much better than her, that she suspected that Link couldn't wait for this nonsense to be over with either. Though if that was the case, why was he wasting his time like this? Why just sit here, oblivious to the moon above?
She looked at the clock tower. One o' clock in the morning. Five hours until impact. The lights were dying. The streets were practically deserted. The Carnival of Time was a dud. And yet, he was still sitting there. Staring. Not even shivering in the early morning breeze.
"Link?" she whispered.
If he heard her, he gave no sign.
"Link," she repeated.
He just sat there. The shadows under his eyes lengthening. His milk bottle empty. His notebook lying beside him.
"Hey, are you listening?!"
That could his attention. Or at least, enough of it to get him to look at her. For something to spark in his eye, be it the fire of fury, or the water of sorrow. He stared at her, and she saw her own amber light dance in that eye, before at last, he turned away. Returning his gaze to the streets below.
"We'll go soon," he murmured.
"How soon?"
"Soon enough."
Tatl looked up at the moon – the shakes hadn't begun yet, but they soon would. "Soon ain't soon enough," she murmured. She sighed, before looking at him. "Not exactly the way I'd end this cycle off, but hey, who am I to-"
"It's my birthday."
"…ask?"
Link just sat there. His words lingering in the air like incense. Lingering, despite the wind.
"Your what?" Tatl murmured.
"I'm eleven years old today," Link continued. "Or at least, I think I am."
"You…what?"
"I was told my birthday, but I know it wasn't the day I was born. Not like the other kokiri. They-"
Tatl had no idea what a kokiri was, and she didn't care. Instead, she said, "come on, how can it be your birthday? We're in a time loop."
He looked at her. "Aren't we growing older?"
Tatl remained silent.
"You feel it, don't you? Time winds back, but we don't?"
"I…" Tatl, not wanting to think about that, instead said, "but to know it's your birthday today…you'd have to have counted every day since you arrived in Termina. I mean, that would be insane." She gave a small, forced laugh, before whispering, "you…haven't been counting have you?"
Link gave a sad smile.
"How…how long have we…"
"Two-hundred and fifty-nine days," Link whispered. He picked up his notebook and opened the book pages. "Come the morn, we'll have reached the sixtieth."
Tatl stared. Line, after line, after line. Groups of four, crossed off with a diagonal dash. Entire pages filled with lines. Many of them with asterisks above, likely marking the moment they went back in time. Usually the third, but not always. So many days. So much rewinding of the clock.
"Why?" she asked, as Link put the book in his satchel. "What in the world, I mean, words, got you to do that?"
He shrugged.
"Come on dunderhead, don't leave me in suspense. What possessed you to do such nonsense?"
Link sighed, and as Tatl watched him rub his hands together, she couldn't help but wonder if it was to stop them from shaking.
"I lost my time once before," he murmured. "When I came here…I didn't want to lose it again."
Tatl had no idea what he was talking about. But listening to him, watching him…she didn't ask. If Link had his secrets, he was welcome to them. After all, they were acquaintances at best, and acquaintances didn't share secrets.
"It doesn't feel that long, does it though?" Link asked. He looked at her. "All these cycles? Losing track of things?"
Tatl, after a moment of hesitation, nodded.
"Anyway," Link said. She watched as he drew out his ocarina. Holding it, looking at it, as if it was irreplaceable. "We should go. There's only one mask left, and-"
"Link…"
He looked at her.
"You can stay, if you want."
He still looked at her.
"I mean, not wait for the moon, but, if you just want to watch, I mean, celebrate, I mean…" She sighed, and tapped his ocarina. "You want to play something?"
"Play something?"
She laughed awkwardly. "I figure after all the songs you've been taught, you know a few original tunes?"
For a moment, he looked embarrassed. Truth was, Tatl knew the answer to the question. Every so often, when they allowed themselves a brief moment of rest, she'd see him playing his instrument. Whistling tunes that weren't the one that sent them back in time, or the one the mask salesman had taught them, no. Tunes she didn't recognise. Tunes that were less tunes, and more actual compositions. Tunes that didn't come from without, but from within. As if…as if unable to say things, he put what he wanted to say in music.
Or she was just being silly. But watching him cradle the ocarina, hearing him mutter something about a place called Hyrule, of playing tunes under different stars…she didn't think so.
"Alright," Link murmured. "I'll play you something."
And he did so. The music was soft…melancholy…something that made Tatl think of the rising moon. Unlike this one…of empty fields, where she might fly across…free…from time, from strife, from all of it…not alone…free, to greet the dawn…to awaken to a new day…to feel the wind caress her wings, to bathe in the glow of twilight, to at last, awaken, and soar, be skyward bound…she heard of it, and dared to dream of simpler times…of a world to explore, unencumbered by these shackles…old stories, new stories, playing out again, and again, and again…
…until at last, the music changed. Until their time ran out, and time's song began. Until the white light took her, and she began falling…falling…falling…
"Happy birthday Link," she whispered, her words lost to all ears but her own.
Falling, until the light cleared. Until the clock struck six once more. Until at last, they trod this same square, under the light of the sun. Under the light of a new day…the first day…the same day…
The sun was rising in the east.
Without word or warning, Link headed towards the east gate. Towards the sun. Towards the final mask. To the place where long shadows were cast.
And in silence, Tatl flew after him.
