Last Chapter: Botan went back to the Lure ONE LAST TIME, and was transported to a world with an odd cartoon and a lifestyle that seemed to allow her to never have to report for her duties in Spirit World. She thought Hiei seemed distant, but when she tracked him down at the RICE FIELDS he seemed very different, and they had a nice talk.


Chapter 21: All I Know

Botan awoke to the sound of music playing in the room. She opened her eyes and sat up, frowning as she looked about herself. She was sleeping on the floor, next to Shizuru, and Keiko and Yukina were sharing the bed. Apparently, they had all spent the night at the Yukimuras' house. Botan could not remember going there the night before, but, equally, she could not remember where she had gone at all the night before, and so she accepted her situation as she found it.

As she stretched her arms above her head, she looked over in the direction of the music, finding that Keiko's television was on.

"It's the DWB Show!" a voice cheerfully announced.

"This again?" Botan muttered.

"The adventures of Dango the cat, Worthy the dog and Boring the mouse!"

"Stupid names," she grumbled.

"In today's episode, Dango the cat is angry," the narrator explained, as the white cat appeared on the screen, looking as bristled as he usually did.

"Make yourself useful, Boring," Dango said.

Boring the mouse appeared at his side, looking as nervous as she usually did.

"Boring has been making herself useful, Dango," Worthy the dog said, appearing on Dango's other side.

Dango swiped up something from the ground with one paw. It looked like a dirty rag.

"You call this useful?" he asked.

"I've been making them," Boring replied.

"With your "pen", I suppose," Dango sarcastically replied, flinging aside the rag.

"We've got this, Dango," Worthy insisted.

"No, Worthy, I have this," Dango told her. "You are here merely to guide me. And Boring is here to clean up."

"Clean up?" Boring echoed.

"Just be glad you are actually useful to me for once, Boring," Dango viciously answered her. "Rather than just turning up instead of her."

"You might want to consider calling her something better than "Boring"," Worthy whispered to Dango.

"I'll stop calling her "Boring" when she shows me that she's worth my effort to learn her name," Dango whispered back.

"I'd rather you didn't always call me Boring," Boring said.

"You are named for what you are," Dango told her. "You are named Boring because you are boring, and Worthy is named Worthy because she is worthy."

"Do you know why we named you "Dango"?" Worthy asked.

"I don't even know what "dango" is," Dango replied.

"It's a sweet dumpling, served on a stick," Boring explained.

"Oh I see," Dango sneered. "I suppose you both think it's amusing to see me humiliate myself. To see me skewered like a piece of human food."

"There's more to it than that, big guy," Worthy said. "It's also because you're actually quite sweet."

"I thought it was because he's actually quite soft?" Boring asked.

Worthy started to giggle, and Boring shortly joined in.

"Yes, laugh it up, you pair of hags!" Dango spat angrily. "After I crush this spider, I don't ever want to see you again, Boring!"

"What about me?" Worthy asked him.

"I can tolerate you," he answered, somehow making his words sound like an insult.

"Steady with the charm there, Dango," Worthy said. "I don't think my poor knees can take it."

"I hate both of you," Dango grumbled.

The screen popped and went blank.

"Botan?"

Botan turned around to see Yukina was sitting up in bed and rubbing a hand at her eyes. Although her face still looked sleepy, she had that thing that Botan only ever noticed on demons: her hair fell flawlessly, as though she had not just been sleeping on it.

"Good morning, Yukina," Botan greeted her. "Are we… Did we have dinner here last night?"

"No," Yukina answered, shaking her head. "Or, at least, I didn't. I just came here later, with Shizuru, for the sleepover."

"Oh, okay," Botan said, nodding her head. "And today, we are…?"

"Going shopping, having lunch at the food court, going to a movie and then having dinner here," Yukina replied.

"Those are all my favourite things to do," Botan mused quietly.

"Mine too!" Yukina said, smiling sweetly.

It struck Botan as odd that she had been granted two consecutive days off work to do as she pleased, but she was not about to question the blessing. Koenma must have forgotten himself to have made such a mistake.

"I'm going to make breakfast for everyone," Yukina said, picking her way over Keiko and stepping into a pair of slippers at the bedside.

"I'll give you a hand," Botan offered, standing up.

A quick glance around told Botan that, again, Keiko and Yukina had gone to sleep in a shared bed in their pyjamas and she and Shizuru had fallen asleep on the floor in their clothes, but at least this time it was just a sleepover with the girls, and she would not have to worry about any comments from the boys about her condition. For the sake of her dignity, she smoothed her hands over her hair as she followed Yukina through the house to the kitchen.

Once they reached their destination, it became apparent to Botan that they were alone in the house: Keiko's parents were usually up early, and the fact that they were not already up and about could only mean that they were not at home. Yukina certainly seemed to know her way around the kitchen however, as she quickly and quietly took out everything she needed to make a cooked breakfast. Botan watched her arrange everything before turning on the spot to look for some way she could assist.

Her eyes landed on a block of knives.

Botan slowly moved over to the knives, something about their presence, about their black handles, drawing her in. There were five of them in the block – it always seemed to be the way that they came in blocks of five – and she reached for the one on the top right, the one she felt she needed to retrieve. She slid the knife from the block, the sound of the blade pressing against the wooden block sounding louder than seemed natural. Once she had it free, she turned the knife around, looking down at the wide side of the blade. The blade was silver, and she could see her own face reflected back at her. The blade was sharp and smooth.

"Are you going to help me or not?"

Botan looked up from the knife to find Yukina giving her a slightly tense look. Yukina could, on occasion, be quite abrupt. And, when those occasions arose, she had a tendency to adopt a facial expression that made her look unmistakably like her twin brother.

"Yes, of course!" Botan answered her.

Yukina pushed a bowl and a box of eggs along the kitchen counter and Botan moved over to start preparing the food.

"Yukina?" Botan began. "When you woke up this morning, did you notice the television was on?"

"No," Yukina plainly replied.

"So then you didn't see that cartoon?" Botan asked.

Yukina gave her a slightly odd look.

"You were watching cartoons?" she asked.

"No, it just happened to be on," Botan replied. "At the same moment that I happened to look."

"That's what you said about that time you were caught in Keiko's wardrobe when she had Yusuke in her bedroom."

Botan paused.

"I didn't believe you then. I don't believe you now."

Botan sighed and put on her cutest cat face.

"Sometimes a girl just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time," she said.

"You said that then, too," Yukina flatly replied.

Botan began mixing the eggs in the bowl.

"Nothing gets by you, does it Yukina?" she said.

"No."

Botan smiled to herself: she knew one glaring thing that had gotten by Yukina, one thing that continued to get by Yukina every day. But, other than that one thing, the ice maiden could be very perceptive. Oftentimes when she stayed quiet it was not because she knew nothing about a given situation, but rather she was being tactful and choosing not to talk about it. Botan felt that maybe that was something not a lot of people really knew about Yukina, not even Hiei. It was a side of her that Botan felt only she and Shizuru ever really saw.

"Oh, Botan, Yukina! Why didn't you wake me up?"

Botan turned to see Keiko shuffling into the kitchen in her slippers.

"You're my guests, I'll make us breakfast!" she insisted, taking the bowl of eggs from Botan.

"I like cooking," Yukina told her.

"You can sit down, Yukina, I'll make for everyone," Keiko offered.

"No, you two make breakfast, Botan and I will make smoothies for us," Shizuru said, moving into the kitchen and grabbing Botan's arm.

Botan started to ask Shizuru what she meant, but when she looked out a blender and began gathering fruits together, it became apparent that she had meant exactly what she had said.

"Yes, this will be nice," Botan said instead, loading fruits into the blender. "Something to enjoy on our day out together!"

Shizuru gathered four bottles and, after waiting for the blender to finish, she poured the contents into two of the bottles and closed them up, before placing the jug back on the blender and switching it on again. Botan frowned at her questioningly, but Shizuru just smiled and winked at her, before slipping a hip flask from a pocket somewhere and adding most of the contents to the blender.

"Let's just make this day a little more fun for us, right Botan?" she whispered.

Botan smiled as Shizuru switched off the blender and poured out their drinks. She gave one of the enhanced drinks to Botan and took one for herself, leaving the other two for Keiko and Yukina.

"I have the whole day planned out," Keiko announced. "And we're on a schedule."

Botan was suddenly glad Shizuru had spiked her smoothie.

"This will be nice," Yukina said. "To have a day together."

"Yes, absolutely," Botan agreed.

Keiko began serving up breakfast and Botan gladly started on hers. Something about food had felt different lately, like she could really taste every flavour, really feel the texture of every different type of food. It made being in the human world so much more delightful than usual.


"I can't make up my mind," Keiko said, eying herself in the mirror.

Botan took a quick swig from her smoothie, pushing down the idea that she wished she had gone with Shizuru and Yukina instead of Keiko. The group had split up upon arrival at the mall, and Botan had only offered to go with Keiko to save her being alone: but she was beginning to regret her choice.

"Keiko, you look wonderful in both outfits," she tried. "Why not just get both?"

"I can't buy that skirt, it rides up too much," Keiko replied, pointing at a skirt she had discarded onto a nearby seat.

"I think you maybe over-think things like that," Botan said. "Sometimes it's okay to wear something a little shorter."

"I'm sick of Yusuke making digs at me about the size of my… Well, you know…" Keiko replied. "I don't need to wear a skirt that makes it look even bigger."

"Oh Keiko, he doesn't mean it as an insult!"

"Well, you know what the say about women with big…"

"Some men find that very attractive."

Keiko turned around and gave Botan a glare she felt was too harsh, given the situation.

"Women with big asses are whores," she said.

"What?" Botan yelped.

"It looks whorish," Keiko complained. "And I always knew it would happen to me."

Botan took another sip of her smoothie.

"Because my mom has a big ass."

Botan almost choked on her drink.

"But Keiko," she pointed out. "That means your mom…"

"I bet she was a whore before she met my dad."

Botan snorted but quickly clapped a hand over her mouth when Keiko rounded on her.

"It's okay, Botan," Keiko assured her. "I think it's pretty funny too."

Keiko sat down next to Botan with a small sigh.

"Sometimes I'm really jealous of you and Shizuru and Yukina," she said.

"Why?" Botan asked.

"Well, it just seems easier for you," Keiko said. "You're all so much more comfortable in your lives than I am in mine."

"I don't know if that's true, Keiko."

"It seems like it is. I feel like I'm the only one of us who's always struggling to be better."

"At least you know what you want and you're working towards it. I had to get attacked by a demon to know what I really want, and, rather than being brave enough to try to get it for myself, I just… Went back."

Botan swallowed, with difficulty, past the lump in her throat, and fumbled for her smoothie. It had never really occurred to her before that moment, but, suddenly, she found herself overwhelmed by the thought that she had been drifting, directionless, until the Lure showed her an ideal existence: and everything she had done since then had only made it impossible for her to ever have anything she had seen herself with.

She was never going to get promoted to another role in Spirit World – she had seen to that when she had wilfully gone back to the Lure, and reaffirmed it when she had attacked Ayame – and she was never going to be able to enjoy life with her friends again – they would surely think less of her for continually going back to the Lure.

Where were they?

The mall, Keiko, the light, all became swallowed into darkness, and Botan found herself alone, in a still darkness. She was still in a seated position, but she felt as though she was floating – maybe sinking – through space. But the only thing she could think about was her friends. Where were they? In between times she had been to the Lure, she had seen no-one. Kuwabara, Yusuke and once Kurama had helped her back to Spirit World, but after that, only Ayame had consistently been around. Where were the others? Had they disowned her? Neither Koenma nor Ayame had mentioned anyone asking for her. Were they really that ashamed of her?

And where was Hiei?

"We have a schedule to keep, stop daydreaming, and come on!"

Colour and light flooded in around Botan as Keiko grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. She stumbled a few steps but shortly caught up with Keiko, realising as they left the shop that, at some point during her moment of distraction, Keiko had purchased three bags of clothes. From three different shops.

"I bet Yusuke wishes he could zone out like that," Botan muttered.

"What was that?" Keiko asked her.

"Oh, nothing!" Botan replied through an awkward laugh.

Keiko appeared to accept Botan's reply, despite how guilty she had sounded, and they continued to the food court, where they reunited with Shizuru and Yukina. Once they had their food orders and chosen a table, Botan sat down next to Yukina, noticing then that the ice maiden had chosen a selection of small dishes, which she then meticulously pieced together onto a single plate. Yukina had some odd habits – perhaps because she was a demon, or perhaps because she was an ice maiden – but there was something quite controlled and measured about most of the things she did. The way she ate, the way she cooked, the way she tended the gardens around Genkai's temple.

"That looks nice," Botan commented.

Yukina paused to look at the sandwich in Botan's hand.

"Probably nicer than what I have," Botan added.

"I can share with you, if you like?" Yukina offered.

"Oh, that's so sweet of you!" Botan gushed. "But you don't have to do that."

Yukina nodded and continued assembling her meal.

"How do you do it, Yukina?" Botan asked her.

"Well, I choose ingredients I like," Yukina began.

"No, not the food," Botan interrupted her. "I mean, how do you stay so calm all the time? Don't you ever get angry, or wish things were different?"

Yukina paused, and looked thoughtful for a moment, before shaking her head and smiling.

"I don't have anything to be angry about," she concluded. "And there's nothing I would want to change."

"Nothing?" Botan asked. "Nothing at all?"

"Nothing at all," Yukina confirmed.

"But… What if you did want something to change. Something that you couldn't control. Like… Don't you wish you could find your brother?"

"Well, yes, that would be very nice. But I'm not unhappy about not having found him yet. I'll find him one day. And when I do, we'll have lots to talk about."

"You don't know that you'll ever find him."

"Yes I do."

"How?"

"Hope."

Botan nodded slowly, before taking a bite out of her sandwich. Hope was something not to be underestimated, she thought to herself. And, if someone like Yukina could hold onto hope as confidently as she did, it was something everyone should be able to do.

"You never doubt it?" Botan asked.

"No," Yukina calmly replied. "I've seen sadness. And I've experienced happiness. I know which is the better path, and that's the one I choose."

Botan nodded.

"That's good advice," she said. "You're very wise."

Yukina giggled softly.

"You make me sound like an old lady!" she said, when Botan gave her a questioning look.

Botan smiled. Although Yukina was young – especially so for a demon – she was arguably the wisest of all four sat at the table. She had seen and done more than Shizuru, Keiko and Botan combined: but she rarely spoke about the trials she had overcome to leave her village and come to the human world, or how she really felt about her struggle to find her brother.

It was really quite sad that Hiei would not tell her who he really was. It was sad for Yukina, as she was left wondering, and it was sad for Hiei, as his failure to tell her came down to the fact that he considered himself unworthy of being her brother.

"You can't change the past," Yukina said, as though she had been reading Botan's thoughts. "You can't change who you were in the past. You can only look forwards, to the future, and try to do more now and be more now."

Botan paused.

"Does that sound silly?" Yukina asked her.

"No," Botan replied, shaking her head. "That might actually be the least silly thing I've ever heard."

Yukina smiled, that sweet, genuine, warm way that she did, and they carried on eating. Once they had finished their meal, the group went back to Keiko's car to stow their shopping bags before heading off to the cinema. As they neared the entrance, Botan finished her smoothie, turning to Shizuru expectantly.

"Yeah, me too," Shizuru said to her, shaking her own empty bottle to demonstrate her point. "But I've got us covered."

She patted a back pocket on her pants, which seemed to be in the shape of a hip-flask. Botan smiled and together they continued into the cinema. Botan did not notice which movie they were going to see until it started. As they usually did, Yukina and Keiko sat together, one row from the back, and Botan and Shizuru sat behind them in the very back row. When the title told Botan it was not only a movie she had seen before, but also a very cliched one, she groaned, but brightened a little when Shizuru pushed her hip flask into her hand. Botan gladly took a drink, and, before long, could feel the warmth in her face of having had a little too much to drink.

"This film is crap," she said.

Keiko rounded on her with a look of horror on her face.

"She was joking," Shizuru quickly explained.

Keiko gave Botan a hard look before turning back in her seat.

"I wasn't joking," Botan whispered to Shizuru.

"Keiko likes it," Shizuru whispered back. "Just let her have it."

"She only likes it because this is how she expects Yusuke to behave," Botan complained.

"Sweetie, you have no idea how that boy behaves behind closed doors with her," Shizuru said. "Maybe he's a hopeless romantic when his friends aren't watching, and he doesn't need to keep up his tough guy act."

"No, he's not."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that. I watch them."

"Come on, Botan."

"I'm not kidding! I've seen them alone together. It's not romantic. Most of the time, it's not even exciting. They just kiss, and the second he puts his hands under her clothes, she slaps him away."

Shizuru sniggered into her hand.

"I'm not joking, Shizuru!" Botan insisted.

"I know, that's what makes it so funny!" Shizuru replied.

"Shizuru, I think you've had too much to drink. Gimme that."

Botan took the flask forcibly from her friend.

"You can talk," Shizuru snorted. "You're drunk too."

"That's as may be, but I look cute when I'm drunk."

"And I don't?"

"Not as cute as me."

Keiko turned in her chair again, glaring at Botan and Shizuru in turn.

"Neither of you look cute!" she hissed. "And talking all the way through my favourite film is definitely not cute either!"

"Sorry, Keiko," Botan said, patting her on the head.

"Don't do that," Shizuru said, pulling Botan's arm away.

"Just be quiet, both of you!" Keiko growled, before turning away again.

Botan turned to pout at Shizuru.

"That was your fault, Shizuru," she said. "You got me in trouble."

Shizuru gave her a sceptical look.

"This movie is so boring though!" Botan moaned.

"I think it's kinda cute," Shizuru replied.

"Ugh, no you don't!" Botan grumbled.

"Actually, I kinda do," Shizuru replied.

Botan pouted and thinned her eyes, but Shizuru shook her head.

"Think about it," she said. "It's about a girl who is happy enough with her life, but then meets a boy who shakes her up, and makes her realise she's been missing love this whole time. You don't think that's cute?"

Botan paused to mull over Shizuru's words. She had never really thought about the overall premise of the movie before, but, hearing it summarised the way Shizuru had just summarised it, it did sound much better than it usually seemed when she was watching it.

"The jokes are terrible," Shizuru offered. "And it's twenty years old, and those jokes have not aged well."

"Not at all," Botan agreed.

"But the overall story is still pretty cute," Shizuru added.

"I suppose it is," Botan agreed.

"Come on, Botan. You're just like the girl in this movie. You have friends, you like your job, you're happy with your life, but are you really telling me you wouldn't want some guy to swoop in and sweep you off your feet with some big romantic gesture?"

"There are no big romantic gestures in this movie."

"At the end of the movie, the boy gets all the girl's friends to help him break her out of the cubicle she works in so he can take her on a dream date, where he proposes to her."

"Yes, well, there's that… It's not very sexy though."

"I never said it was sexy! I said it was romantic!"

Botan paused.

"You do know the difference between sexy and romantic, right Botan?" Shizuru asked.

"Yes, and I suppose I've seen a little bit of both, but…" Botan began.

"But what?" Shizuru pressed.

"But they weren't as satisfying as I thought they'd be. I don't even know why…"

The cinema suddenly seemed very dark – darker than usual – until Botan was no longer able to see Shizuru at her side, or Keiko and Yukina sitting in front of her. For a long, silent, moment, she found herself floating in darkness. The Lure had never really delivered on its promises to her, she thought to herself. It made it seem like it had, but it never had. Not really. It had never really let her experience anything that she considered fantastically sexy or romantic.

Botan sneezed harshly, and light and colour flooded back into her world: and she found herself flying on her oar, down towards Genkai's temple. She looked to her side and found Yukina sitting there.

"Today passed really quickly," Botan commented.

"It was a nice day though," Yukina replied.

"I thought we were having dinner at Keiko's house," Botan pointed out as she landed outside the temple.

"We are," Yukina replied. "I made a cream cake. I have to fetch it from inside."

"Oh, okay," Botan said, nodding her head.

She could not remember agreeing to take Yukina to collect a cake but decided just to go with the flow. She watched Yukina enter the temple before turning her head to one side, towards the treeline. She glanced back at the door, still closing behind Yukina, biting her lip as she weighed up her options: she was sure she had the time, she was sure it would take Yukina a few minutes to collect the cake, and a few minutes was all the time she needed.

Botan leapt onto her oar and bolted through the air, across the temple grounds, over trees, up a slope and out over a valley that looked exactly the same as the sky above her.

She flew down, smiling when she noticed a lone figure, standing in one of the flooded fields, a few steps down from the top of the mountain. She removed her shoes and landed at the edge of the field, banishing her oar and placing down her shoes before wading into the water. As she neared the centre of the field, Hiei turned to face her, looking her straight in the eye, and smiling softly.

"I thought I might find you here," she explained.

"Likewise," he replied.

"You came here to look for me?" she asked.

"Yes."

Botan smiled.

"I had a nice day today," she said. "I spent the day with all my best friends: Shizuru, Yukina and Keiko."

Hiei's eyes moved to one side, and a hint of a frown flickered over his face.

"They're more than just my friends," Botan said as he moved his eyes back to hers. "They're more like my sisters. Shizuru is the big sister, the rebel, who I can have grown-up fun with. Keiko is like my twin. She's a little bit competitive, but she keeps me on my toes. And Yukina is like my little sister. My sweet, kind, caring little sister."

Hiei sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you have friends in Spirit World too," he said in a strangely forced tone.

Botan shook her head.

"No, not really," she said. "No-one I would trust like my sisters."

"I see," Hiei said.

"We're just like you and the boys," Botan added.

"I doubt that," he replied.

"It's true," she insisted. "Shizuru is like Yusuke. She's the strongest of us–"

"What makes you think Yusuke is stronger than me?"

"–and she's the one that gets me into trouble all the time. Keiko is like Kuwabara. She's the weakest of us and feels left out sometimes when the rest of us can see and sense things that she can't. And Yukina is like Kurama. She's so wise, and so calm, but she carries with her a painful past."

"And I suppose that means you think you and I are alike?"

"Hmm?"

"You just likened all your friends to all of mine. The only ones left are you and me."

"Oh… Yes, I see what you mean."

Hiei gave Botan a slightly sad look.

"In what ways are you and I alike?" he asked.

Botan touched her index finer to her chin and adopted a thoughtful look. She had not really thought through her analogy until she reached the end of it and she had not intentionally meant to leave herself as the equivalent of Hiei within her own group of friends.

"Stubborn, repressed and angry," Hiei said, his face set into a sneer.

"What?" Botan echoed.

"Those are things you and I have in common," he said in a tone that bordered on sarcastic. "Apparently."

"I'm not stubborn!" Botan complained. "And I'm not an angry person, I'm a happy person!"

"You are stubborn," Hiei replied. "And you can be angry."

"Well I'm definitely not the other thing! What was it?"

"Repressed."

"Right. I'm not repressed."

"Have you and I ever had sex?"

Botan froze.

"We've never had sex, right?"

Botan slowly searched Hiei's eyes for some sign that she had either misheard him or he was playing some sort of strange game with her.

"Don't you wonder why that is?" he asked.

"Why what is?" she asked.

"That we've never had sex," Hiei replied.

"That's what I thought you said…"

"You probably don't understand why. It might have even happened in your dreams."

"Have you been reading my mind when I'm asleep?"

"I don't need to. I know enough of the limitations of the Lure to know why. You're a virgin."

"What?"

"Am I wrong?"

Botan could feel her face burning, but Hiei was giving her such a plain, unaffected look, she found it difficult to get as outraged as she felt.

"It's none of your business, Mister!" she eventually retorted.

"If you weren't, we would have had sex by now," Hiei plainly replied.

"Why are you assuming I would just have sex with you?" Botan cried.

"Because you've been fantasising about seeing me naked, idiot!" Hiei spat back. "You've been wishing for me to steal my way into Spirit World and snatch you out of the shower and have my way with you! If you weren't a virgin, that would have actually happened! You wouldn't have just imagined it, it would have happened. I would have shown up, and – shut the hell up and let me do this!"

Botan frowned. Hiei had suddenly turned his head to one side to glare at something she could not see, his last remark apparently having been directed that way.

"I don't understand," she said.

"The Lure relies on accuracy to make your illusions binding and desirable to you," Hiei explained, moving his eyes back to hers, his tone softer once more. "The only limitations your illusions have are those of your own reality. The Lure cannot make you experience something you don't understand. You would know it was fake. You've never had sex in any of your illusions because you are a virgin. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you now?"

"I think so."

"Good."

"But you could have been more polite about it."

"The point is, you are repressed."

"Well so are you!"

"Yes, but in a different way."

Botan baulked: she had not expected Hiei to agree with her.

"You desire sex because it's forbidden for you," he said, his tone again surprisingly soft. "It's something sacred in your world. It's not sex, it's "love-making", and it only happens when and where love exists. The rules in my world are a little different."

"Is this about oral sex?"

Hiei gave Botan a tense, irritated look.

"You're much more of a pervert than I ever thought you were," he growled.

"I've always been curious about oral sex though," Botan mused.

Hiei's face changed, a spark of something akin to curiosity appearing in his eyes.

"Giving or receiving?" he asked in a low voice.

Botan frowned.

"I-I never thought about receiving it before…" she whispered.

"So… You fantasise solely about giving it?" Hiei asked.

For a moment, they stood looking at each other curiously before Hiei groaned and sighed.

"Never mind," he said dismissively. "My point was…"

"Did you forget?" Botan asked him.

"I'm trying to concentrate, and you're putting ideas into my head, woman," he groaned.

He growled and smoothed his hands over his hair, which stayed slightly flattened afterwards. When his hands fell to his sides, Botan noticed that they appeared to be smeared in blood. She frowned, taking a step forwards, intent on asking him about it: but her movement made him look her in the eye with renewed focus.

"My point was that the Lure will never let you experience sex in an illusion because you have no point of reference from reality that it can base it's falsehood upon," he said. "And the fact you don't know what sex feels like is what makes you repressed: you want it – clearly quite badly – but you've never had it, because your world has taught you it's only possible when love is involved. In my world, there is a similar thing. And that's what makes me repressed."

"You're a virgin too?"

"No!"

"It's okay if you are…"

"Sex isn't frowned upon or difficult to come across in Demon World."

"Then I don't understand."

"It's not sex I can't have, it's kissing."

"Kissing?"

"In Demon World, a kiss is something that can only happen where love exists. Just like how you have never experienced sex, I have never experienced a kiss."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because if you really want sex as much as you seem to, you need to understand that the only way you will ever experience it is in the real world. Away from the Lure. It's something you want so badly, but it's one of the few things the Lure can never give you."

"But… You can?"

Hiei's pupils shrank as though he had just been startled by something.

"I didn't say that," he quickly said.

"I thought you were offering to–"

"No."

"Oh."

"Just… Think about what I've said."

Botan nodded. She turned to look back up the mountain.

"I should go, Yukina will be wondering where I am," she said. "But I…"

Botan's voice trailed off as she turned around to find that Hiei had vanished. She turned on the spot, in two complete circles, but saw no trace of which direction he had left in. She sighed, summoned her oar, and started back to collect Yukina.


Next Chapter: Botan and Yukina rejoin Shizuru and Keiko for dinner, but the meal turns into a night of adventure when they are joined by some extra guests. Botan cringes when the karaoke machine makes an appearance, but quickly changes her mind when her favourite song – that song about LOVE – starts to play. Chapter 22: Something in Your Eyes