Last Chapter: Botan awoke to another day in the human world (and another instalment of that odd cartoon). After spending the day with her girlfriends (and each of them giving her something to think about), she found Hiei in the RICE FIELDS once more, where he told her the Lure's powers are in fact LIMITED and she can only experience things realistically in her illusions if she's EXPERIENCED THEM IN REAL LIFE


Chapter 22: Something in Your Eyes

Botan was helping Shizuru set the table for dinner when she began to become aware of music playing in the adjacent room. She turned to Shizuru, but her friend either did not hear it, or did not care for it, as she did not respond, rather finished her task and moved back to the kitchen. Botan turned to the source of the noise, taking herself into the living room. The curtains were drawn, and the lights were out in the living room, and so the television screen seemed especially bright as it displayed a familiar logo.

"It's the DWB Show!"

"Again?" Botan groaned.

"The adventures of Dango the cat, Worthy the dog and Boring the mouse!"

"Such ridiculous names," she grumbled.

"In today's episode, Dango the cat is worried," the narrator explained, as the white cat appeared on the screen, looking smoother than he usually did and a little bit sleepy.

"What happened the last time you did this?" he asked.

Boring the mouse appeared on the screen next to him, looking at him worriedly.

"I asked you a question, you miserable mouse!" Dango snapped.

"Take it easy, big guy," Worthy the dog warned, walking onto the screen.

"I-I don't understand the question," Boring said in a small, meek voice.

"The last time you did this," Dango said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and barely restrained patience. "What happened?"

He swiped up a rag in his paw and threw it at the mouse, who cowered away from it.

"What difference does it make?" Worthy interjected. "Obviously she knows what she's doing. Let her worry about what she's doing, you just concentrate on what you're doing. And try not to get yourself killed while you're at it. We'd rather you stayed a dango and didn't end up a stain on the ground."

"The only stain around here is her," Dango spat back, pointing a paw at Boring. "Boring, you have done this before. Tell me how many times you have done this and tell me you are capable of doing it quickly."

Boring gulped audibly.

"Oh shit Boring, you've never done this before?" Worthy asked, sounding suddenly, unusually, alarmed.

"I read about it in the book!" Boring wailed. "It was all in the book! I did exactly what it said in the book! I've seen others doing it, I've just never actually done it myself!"

"We're fucked," Dango growled.

"No, we're not fucked," Worthy disagreed. "Boring, you can do this. I believe in you. And I know you will do it–"

"And do it quickly," Dango cut in.

"And do it quickly," Worthy repeated. "Because I trust you. Okay?"

Boring quivered all over.

"That's a lot of pressure," she squeaked.

"You've dealt with demons before," Worthy said.

Boring slowly shook her head.

"This is why she is boring," Dango said to Worthy. "This is why she will never be anything more than a miserable, pathetic, dismal, underwhelming excuse for…"

Dango turned his head sharply, his eyes staring directly out of the television screen. Worthy moved closer to him and copied his action, and, for a long moment, Botan felt unable to blink as she stared back at the cartoon eyes staring out of the screen directly at her.

"Boring cares about her just as much as you and I do," Worthy said in a gentle voice, before turning her eyes back to Dango.

"Care?" Dango hissed, turning to glare at Worthy. "Care is a human word. It's empty. It doesn't describe anything. This isn't about caring. This is about…"

Dango stomped across the screen and Worthy edged closer to Boring.

"This is about someone who can't deal with any emotion that doesn't land neatly on the spectrum from irked to unholy rage," she whispered to the mouse.

Boring brightened a little then.

"Stupid four-letter words that are supposed to encompass everything so neatly," Dango muttered. "It doesn't work like that. It isn't neat. It's messy. It's big. Much bigger than one stupid little word."

Worthy and Boring leaned closer to each other with knowing smiles and, in unison, whispered a single word.

"Love."

The screen turned black with a pop.

"Sweetie, are you okay?"

Botan turned to see Shizuru standing behind her.

"You're not still tipsy, are you?" her friend asked under her breath.

"No," Botan replied, shaking her head. "I'm fine now."

"Good," Shizuru said, turning her around and putting an arm around her shoulders. "Because this smells like it's gonna be amazing, and it would be a waste if you threw it all up, right?"

"Right," Botan agreed with a smile.

Botan sat down at the table, looking around the steaming plates of food.

"This was a lovely day," Yukina said.

"Yeah, it was nice," Keiko agreed.

Botan started eating, once more finding herself enjoying the taste and the texture of the food so much. Food had been tasting so great lately. Usually, she would find at least one thing she was not too keen on, but that evening, everything was perfect. Even at lunch, even choosing a plain sandwich, she had enjoyed her food. Life just felt more fulfilling, more complete, less flawed.

"I wish I could stay another night," Keiko commented sadly.

"You have to go back to school?" Shizuru asked.

"Yeah, unfortunately," Keiko replied.

"That means my little brother should be going back too," Shizuru commented.

"Didn't he go back earlier today?" Keiko asked.

Shizuru shook her head.

"He went out with Yusuke and Kurama," she said.

"Do you think they went looking for a demon?" Keiko asked, starting to look worried.

"No, but I do think they went out looking for trouble," Shizuru said.

"They'll be okay if Kurama is with them," Botan offered. "He's sensible, he'll make sure they don't get up to any mischief."

"I don't know if we can trust Kurama, either," Shizuru said, her voice sounding strange suddenly. "He's not exactly pulled through for us so far. If I'm being honest, I don't trust anyone right now. Except you, sweetie. You and Dango."

Botan dropped her spoon with a clatter against her plate, her eyes doubling in size as she fixed them onto Shizuru.

"What did you just say?" she asked.

"I said you're right," Shizuru said, smiling at her. "Kurama knows how to behave himself, he'll keep the boys in line. I trust him."

Botan slowly shook her head, but Shizuru carried on eating.

"Dango," Botan said. "You-you spoke about Dango."

"We're not having dango, I made a cream cake, remember Botan?" Yukina said.

"No, not that kind of dango!" Botan said. "Dango the cat!"

"Dango the cat?" Keiko repeated. "Gees, Kuwabara sure does like giving his cats dumb names…"

Botan shook her head.

"When did Kazuma get a new cat?" Yukina asked.

"He didn't," Shizuru replied.

When Keiko and Yukina gave Botan strange looks, almost as though they thought she was talking utter nonsense, she stopped, deciding that she must simply have misheard Shizuru.

"Cream cake is better than dango," she said weakly.

The others nodded, and they continued on with their meal: but Botan could not shake from her mind what she was sure she had heard. She also could not get past the fact that there was something slightly sinister about that odd cartoon that kept playing on the television. It was clearly not meant for children, and nothing of any substance ever seemed to happen in any given episode: but it had a palpable atmosphere of something much darker, as though something was happening just beyond the limitations of the television screen, something terrible, something dark, something awful.

Just as Botan was falling deeper and deeper into the idea that something was missing, a loud knocking sound snapped her back to the present moment.

"Who could that be?" Keiko asked, wiping her face with a napkin and rising from her seat.

Yukina looked confused, but Shizuru looked as though she knew exactly who it was that had just knocked on the front door. Botan started to ask her who she thought it was, but before she could finish her question, Keiko had opened the door, and Yusuke's louder than polite greeting gave her the answer she sought.

"I smell food," Yusuke said, making his way into the house. "Nice, I'm starving."

He sat down in Keiko's chair and began helping himself to the food on her plate.

"Urameshi, don't be rude!" Kuwabara complained as he joined them.

"There's enough for you if you'd like to join us, Kazuma," Yukina offered.

"Alright my lovely!" Kuwabara said, melting into a goofy smile and pulling up a chair to sit next to Yukina.

"My apologies, I hope we are not interrupting," Kurama said as he entered the room.

"No, it's fine," Keiko said with a sigh. "There's enough for everyone, you might as well join us."

Botan turned in her chair as Hiei moved into the doorway. He stopped there, crossing his arms and leaning one shoulder against the doorframe.

"I thought you might have gone home," he said.

Botan turned her chair to face him fully.

"I'll go home later," she said.

"Because…"

He looked about himself, before his eyes once more settled on hers.

"You needed to be here to watch Unworthy make a fool of himself in front of Yukina?" he asked.

"Unworthy?" Botan repeated.

"You need to be here to watch Yusuke eat like an animal?" Hiei asked.

"Did you just call Kuwabara "Unworthy"?"

"Why didn't you go home?"

Botan pushed her chair back further and stood up from it, moving over towards Hiei.

"What's the point of this?" he asked. "This is just eating human food in the human world. You can do that any time. Why now?"

"I'm spending time with my friends, Hiei!" Botan replied, her tone becoming indignant as she began to suspect that he was trying to make her feel bad about her choices.

"You did this already," Hiei said. "You ate human food and then watched these idiots playing with their karaoke machine."

"Oh hey, karaoke!" Kuwabara called over. "That's a great idea!"

"That's a terrible idea," Hiei said to Botan. "Why are you letting him say that?"

"He always wants to get out the karaoke machine," Botan replied.

Hiei backed out of the doorway as the others began to move towards it, and Botan shortly found herself being bustled through the house.

"But Keiko doesn't have a karaoke machine," she said.

"I don't think that matters," Hiei groaned.

As they stepped into the living room, Botan looked about herself curiously. She had never noticed before that the living room in Keiko's house looked exactly the same as the living room in Shizuru's house. Maybe it was the living room in Shizuru's house.

"You wanna sing us a song, Botan?" Yusuke asked.

Botan shook her head.

"It's too embarrassing!" she wailed.

"Yes it is," Hiei agreed.

"Really?" Yusuke asked, looking far too pleased with himself. "Hey Kuwabara, you've still got that CD, right?"

"Right here, Urameshi!" Kuwabara replied, producing a CD from seemingly nowhere.

"Put it on," Yusuke said, grinning in a way that made Botan apprehensive. "Track two, wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah, right!" Kuwabara said.

Botan turned her head as she suddenly became aware that Hiei was at her side, glaring at her intensely.

"No," he said quietly.

She frowned.

"No," he said again, shaking his head. "Not this. Anything but this."

"I don't want to sing!" Botan answered him. "It's so embarrassing!"

"Is-is that what it is now?" Hiei asked, looking strangely unsure of himself. "Is that what it will take? Humiliation? Allowing myself to be gored in ten places by this beak-faced bastard isn't enough for you?"

"Come on, Hiei!" Yusuke called over. "We all know you know the words just as well as Botan does!"

Botan turned more fully towards Hiei.

"You know this song?" she asked.

"How could I not?" he replied. "You ask for it to be played every time we all get together and it's always in your head. You're obsessed with it!"

"It is lovely," Botan said.

"This is what you want," Hiei said.

"Yeah, this is what she wants, Hiei," Yusuke said. "Now quit stalling and start singing."

Botan froze as Yusuke handed the microphone to Hiei.

"You understand this is not something I would ever really do," he said in a low voice.

"But you are really doing it," Yusuke said.

"You're not really going to…?" Botan asked, pointing weakly towards the karaoke machine.

"I don't make the rules around here, you do," Hiei growled back.

Botan opened her mouth and reached out a hand towards Hiei, but words failed her when he lifted the microphone to his mouth. Yusuke and Kuwabara were cheering (or perhaps jeering was a more accurate description) him as the music reached the point where the vocals would normally start. Hiei muttered something barely audible that seemed to line up with the first line of the song.

"Come on Hiei, we all know you know every single damn word!" Yusuke shouted at him.

Hiei muttered his way through the second line and Botan started to feel that she should make it stop, it was too ridiculous, too humiliating: despite her having always wanted him to express himself to her the way the song expressed love, being faced with that actually happening was too much.

But her hand fell to her side and she forgot everything when he did actually start to sing.

"I was meant to tread the water, but now I've gotten in too deep."

Yusuke started to make a catcall, but was cut short when Shizuru slapped him over the back of the head.

"For every piece of me that wants you, another piece backs away. Cause you give me something that makes me scared alright. This could be nothing, but I'm willing to give it a try. Please give me something, cause someday I might know my heart."

The sounds of Keiko, Yusuke, Kuwabara and everyone else quietly talking in the background dissolved into a darkness that flooded in around Botan, until all she could see or hear was Hiei.

"I can say I've never bought you flowers, I can't work out what they mean. I never thought that I'd love someone, that was someone else's dream."

Botan reached a hand out towards Hiei again, but this time her action somehow pulled her closer to him, until she could almost touch him.

"Please give me something, cause someday I might call you from my heart – but it might be a second too late. And the words I could never say, are gonna come out anyway."

Hiei started to reach out a hand and Botan looked towards it, expecting to take hold of it: but before she could act, he grabbed her hand – a little harshly – and pulled her forcefully forwards. His hand was warm, his skin rough, the bandaging around his palm frayed and uneven. She stumbled a few steps before her feet splashed into water, deeper and deeper until she was in above her knees. Then, and only then, the darkness faded, and Botan found herself standing in the middle of a rice field, with Hiei standing in front of her, still holding her hand.

"What happened?" she asked, looking about herself. "We were having dinner, and you were singing–"

"Don't think about that," Hiei interrupted her. "You need to focus on this."

"Focus on what?" she asked.

"This."

Hiei held up his hand, still holding hers, in the air between them.

"I don't understand," Botan said, shaking her head. "We were having dinner. We were all having a nice time, why are we here now?"

"I'm trying to make a connection, and you're not helping," Hiei replied, sounding a little irritated.

"Make a connection?" Botan repeated. "You were making a lovely connection back at the party when you started singing–"

"Forget about that, I'm trying to break the connection!"

"You just said you were trying to make a connection."

"I am!"

"Then why did you just say you're trying to break a connection?"

Hiei groaned and tightened his hold of her hand, to the point that it was almost painful.

"I'm trying to break the connection between you and the bird, and I am trying to make a connection between you and me," he said.

"Me and the bird?" Botan repeated. "Are you talking about Puu? Does that mean you're talking about Yusuke?"

"No! Focus!"

"It's a little hard to when you were just singing."

"I did that to get your attention. And it worked, didn't it?"

"Did it?"

"…Maybe not."

Hiei again tightened his grip on her hand, and Botan started to complain, but when he suddenly turned his head to one side, his eyes thinning and his top lip curling, she forgot about the pain, and instead glanced back and forth between his growing sneer and the direction he appeared to be looking. They were standing halfway down the mountainside, surrounded by nothing but rice fields, dappled with starlight, but he appeared to be glaring at something very specific.

"When it's Yusuke's birthday, and we all gather in the human world, do you ever wonder why we sleep in two separate houses?" he asked in a strange voice, slowly moving his eyes back to Botan.

"What?" she echoed.

"You go to Keiko's house with Shizuru and Yukina, and I stay with Yusuke, Kurama and Unworthy Kuwabara at Yusuke's mother's apartment. Don't you find that odd, when any other time, we would all just sleep at one house?" Hiei asked.

Botan found the timing of Hiei's question to be incredibly odd, but he had made a good point: Yusuke's birthday was literally the only time the whole group got together but then went to two separate places to sleep.

"It's because after you leave – after all the women leave – Yusuke spikes Kuwabara's orange juice with alcohol, he spikes Kurama's water with fruit of the past life, and, as soon as the two of them are insensible enough, all four of us sneak into your room while you sleep."

"Fuck you, Hiei!"

Botan looked about herself in alarm: Yusuke had sounded so close, but she could not see any trace of him on the hillside.

"Kurama would never normally go along with it, but Yoko will," Hiei continued. "And Kuwabara pretends that he comes along to make sure we don't rummage through Yukina's underwear, but the truth is, he's just as curious as the rest of us."

"Why are you telling me this?" Botan asked.

"Revenge," Hiei replied. "It's only fair they should be humiliated as badly as I have been."

"I don't believe you," Botan said, narrowing her eyes sceptically. "I don't believe any of this."

"You own a pair of black lacey panties. You always take them with you, but you never actually wear them."

Botan narrowed her eyes further.

"Shall I mention Keiko's bra size or are done being lousy bastards?" Hiei roared, again turning his head and directing his question at something Botan could not see.

"Who are you talking to?" Botan asked him.

"Never mind," he said, turning back to her.

"I just don't understand why you felt you needed to make up a story about doing fun things with the boys," she said haughtily. "It feels like you're just trying to compete with all the drinking games I play with the girls on Yusuke's birthday."

The tense, focused look on Hiei's face faltered.

"What-what sort of drinking games?" he asked quietly.

"Like the name game," she replied.

"I thought you meant something interesting."

"Where we name body parts."

"What?"

"On you boys."

"What?"

Botan had literally never seen Hiei look so captivated by something she was saying. The look in his eyes as he stared at her expectantly was almost childlike: it was the same face Yukina wore when she discovered a new human item or tradition.

"I named yours," she added. "But when I think of the three names I used, it feels silly now. Now that I'm sober, and you're standing right in front of me, and I'm looking at the parts of your body I named…"

Hiei gave her a slightly strange look.

"But…" he said slowly. "You're looking me in the eye…"

"Yes, it's so silly," she said with a sigh. "I named them Winky, Blinky and Soul Stealer."

"You named my eyes?"

"Yes. Because you have the Jagan Eye, and it's evil."

"My eyes?"

"Yes. Why, what did you think I meant?"

"You said you named three parts of my body, I just assumed…"

A long, awkward silence passed between Hiei and Botan before Hiei shook his head.

"Never mind," he said quietly.

"Keiko named Yusuke's thighs Crushy and Squeezy, but I think that's because he squishes her face during fellatio."

"Huh?"

Hiei's hold drastically loosened on Botan's hand, to the point that he almost let go entirely.

"I think," Botan added.

"Is that where your obsession with legs comes from?" Hiei asked.

"No, my interest is more to do with sexual intercourse."

Hiei tilted his head in an almost animal fashion.

"Strong thighs are better for thrusting."

Hiei dropped Botan's hand as though it had burned him.

"I can't do this."

Botan frowned.

"What?" she asked.

"I see what it is now," he said quietly. "But… I can't do it."

Hiei took a step back, and, right in front of her eyes, he faded out of existence.

"Hiei?" Botan said tentatively.

She waded through the water, bringing herself to the spot he had been occupying, looking about herself for any trace of where he had disappeared to.

"Hiei!" she yelled.

She turned around on the spot, looking around, up and down, but finding no sign of life. She tried to move forwards, stepping into the place Hiei had backed into: but doing so made the ground fall away beneath her.

Botan sank into the water fast, and, just as it always was underwater there, it was dark. The sound of the water, of bubbles rushing past her and bursting around her filled her ears for a few moments before everything became quiet, her descent slowed to a gradual drift, and everything almost felt peaceful. Botan closed her eyes – just for a moment, just to focus – but when she opened them again, she found that she was no longer alone in the water.

"What the hell are you doing?"

It was Worthy the dog.

"I saw it. I saw what it takes. It can't be me."

Botan turned her head slightly to see Dango the cat.

"Let me help you."

Boring the mouse drifted into her line of sight.

"What is it?" Worthy asked Dango.

Dango shook his head.

"Tell me what it is!" Worthy shouted at him. "Whatever it is, you have to do it! And if not, then someone else has to – but either way, you have to tell me what it is and who can do it if you can't!"

"Oh, I think I know what it is," Boring said.

"Shut up, you," Dango growled at her.

"Sorry," Boring said, cowering away.

Worthy looked back and forth between the cat and the mouse before settling her attention on the mouse.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I think he has to use the actual word. I think he has to say that he–"

The cat, the dog and the mouse dissolved into the water and Botan was momentarily left in silence before she felt hands on her waist, pulling her back up through the water. She did not fight the force, but nor did she look back to see who it was. There was no need. She already knew who it was.

Botan broke the surface of the water and rose up into the air, all the way to the top of the mountainside, before the hands finally lowered her, planting her on her feet, on the firm ground several feet back from the edge of the first row of fields.

"What are you doing, Botan?"

"I don't know."

Botan chewed at her lip. She knew the Lure was standing behind her, but she could not bring herself to face it.

"I always wanted Hiei to sing that song to me," she said.

"And you got your wish," the Lure answered her.

"Yes."

Botan drew in a deep breath and steeled herself, turning on the spot to face the little girl already looking up at her.

"Then why don't I feel happy?" she asked. "I just want to feel happy! I get so close, but I'm never really, truly happy! I haven't been happy since…"

"Since what, Botan?"

"Since that first time. When you made me get a promotion, and my friends told me Hiei had always had a crush on me… But none of that was real. And none of it ever will be again. Not there, not here, not anywhere."

"If you liked that first vision so much, why didn't you go back to it when you came back to me the first time?"

"I don't know! You tell me!"

The Lure thinned its eyes.

"There's something wrong with you," it said.

Botan shook her head.

"It's not me, it's you," she said. "You told me you would give me more venom. You told me it would be perfect."

The Lure smiled.

"I can give you more."

"Then why haven't you already?"

The Lure gave her a slightly strange look before placing both hands on her abdomen and shoving her backwards forcefully. Botan was launched into the air by the blow, flying backwards a short distance before arcing downwards, down the stepped side of the mountain before landing with a splash, back into the water. As she fell, she could feel her arms and legs pulling into her sides, and soon found herself pressed into a rigid position, her body straight and streamlined, seemingly held that way by the water itself. She fell down through the water that way for a long time, through the darkness, before landing with a bounce onto something soft, and suddenly finding she had control of her arms and legs again.

She sat up, frowning as she looked about herself to get her bearings: she was in a room with Shizuru, Yukina and Keiko, who were all still asleep. They were each laid in a separate futon, but only Keiko and Yukina were in their pyjamas, Botan and Shizuru were still fully clothed. Botan was sure she recognised the room, but, just to be sure, she stood up, and quietly moved to the door, sliding it open and poking her head out into the hallway beyond, looking up and down the length of it before satisfying herself that she was, in fact, in Genkai's temple.

Botan slowly slid the door closed, and paused there for a moment, one hand on the door and one on the doorframe, as the sound of a familiar jingle began to play softly behind her. She thought it was odd, as she was sure there were no televisions – or even any electrical points – in the room she was in. She slowly turned her head, looking back over her shoulder, the sight that greeted her appearing both unsettling and underwhelming, as she had expected to see what she did, but not in the way it displayed itself.

She turned around and pressed her back to the door, looking across the room at the opposite wall expectantly.


Next Chapter: Confusion continues for Botan, and so does that weird cartoon show. Botan finds herself consistently coming back to the rice fields and ultimately finds herself unable to leave. She is not there alone, and one of the others there has something important to tell her: something that brings with it disastrous consequences for everyone present. Chapter 23: Captured my Soul