Chapter 36
Steve took a step back from the door as he turned to face her, confused over the difference in the name she'd used.
"Sharon?" Steve inquired, looking back and forth and both women.
Sharon scowled when she saw her, and Toni shot her an unimpressed look. She'd never been close with Aunt Peggy's extended family, but there had been a few Christmases they'd spend together once her parents had passed. And at every single one of them, Sharon Carter had always looked at her in disdain. Whether it was the jealousy over her relationship with her cousins, or the stigma of her name, Toni didn't know.
But Sharon Carter pretending to be Kate definitely was not a coincidence. And neither was the fact that she was apparently living beside Steve Rogers.
"Sharon Carter," Toni said, not taking her eyes off the woman across from her.
"Carter?" Steve said, glancing back at Sharon. "As in?"
"Peggy's niece," Toni confirmed. "SHIELD operative."
"Fury's not going to be happy with you blowing my cover," Sharon warned her. "Speaking of which, why are you here, Stark? Last I heard you were off making a menace in New York. A little far from home, wouldn't you say?"
"Why I'm here is my own business," Toni snapped. She didn't expect SHIELD not to figure out that she and Steve were together. Not after that press conference where he all but told the world he had feelings for her. But that being said, she most certainly did not appreciate SHIELD constantly sticking its nose where it didn't belong. "What's wrong, did Harry have too much of a conscious to give Fury updates on Steve? Is that why he sent you in? If he was smart, he would have sent someone in that neither Steve nor I knew. But I guess not everyone can be the genius Carter, can they?"
"Fury wanted to spy on me?" Steve asked, sounding unimpressed. "What's so important he needed to plant someone in my life for?"
"Most likely, he wanted to see how easy you'd be to manipulate," Toni filled in, "A super soldier who doesn't asked questions and is easy to mold is far more beneficial than one that SHIELD can't control. And I'm guessing they probably went to Harry first, asking him for updates since he's the closes SHIELD agent in our lives. But my cousin wouldn't rat us out so easily. Not when he has a conscious."
"I was making sure he was adjusting!" Sharon argued, "We're not trying to manipulate him. Not everything is some conspiracy where the government is trying to control your every move. Captain Rogers woke up decades in the future, outside of his time. SHIELD isn't unreasonable in its concern that he might not be adapting well to the future. And given some of his current actions, there was concern about the people in his life introducing him to the modern world."
"You mean me," Toni said flatly. "You're concerned that I'm a bad influence in Steve's life because of the press conference. Because according to you, I'm some media whore who feels the need to be in the news any chance she gets. That's what you said at Christmas in '03 right? That I'd do anything it took to stay in the spotlight and stay relevant?"
"Was I wrong?" Sharon shot back at her, "Iron Woman? Like you didn't have enough going on in your life, you needed to up and be some sort of hero? And any chance SHIELD takes to try and get you into their fold, to be one team you spit it back in their faces. What's the reward for saving the world if the world didn't know you did anything, right?"
"Ma-am, you are out of line," Steve interjected, "I might know your history with Toni, but you certainly do not know anything about her if you think that's the reason for her need to wear the suit. I appreciate all SHIELD has done for me, from finding me and giving me a purpose, however I do not need them spying on my every move. Fury and I have a deal already where I report to him. If they want me to have some sort of intermediary handler, then Harry can be mine as well, as he is for Toni."
"You don't know what you're doing, Captain," Sharon warned him, "You have no idea what Stark is capable of. You haven't seen her through the years as the rest of the world has. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, and SHIELD is right to be concerned. They don't want the two of you together, and for good reason."
"They don't want us together because I see through SHIELD's bullshit and they disapprove of that," Toni deadpanned, "Steve can't be controlled if I'm here to call you out regularly. Don't think I don't know what this is about. Plant a beautiful blonde, one who looks like Peggy Carter enough to be Steve's 'type' but not one who looks enough like her that he'd recognize. And let Steve get closer to her. All the time she's passing back information to them about his missions and everything he's doing. What he's thinking, how he's feeling, and so on. You think I'm bad for him? You would be so much worse."
"At least he wouldn't be making a fool of himself on national television," Sharon shot back.
"I called that press conference because I wanted to," Steve said, wrapping an arm around her waist, "And I have no regrets about it or the outcome. Now if you do not mind, we have a lot of unpacking to get to. Let Fury know I'll see him at 0900 hours tomorrow, and no sooner. If he wants you to stay here that's fine, but don't think you'll be able to get anything out of me if that's what you're hoping to report back to about."
Sharon scowled at them, as she headed out the door. Steve closed it after her before turning to face her.
"Sharon Carter?" he asked, raising a brow at her, "I take it the two of you don't exactly have a good relationship."
"It's complicated," Toni sighed. "The Carter-Sousa's were always a secondary family to me. Aunt Peggy didn't find out about her brother being alive until I was already half way through high school, and in that time I'd become something of family to them. And when Sharon was born, Aunt Peggy was already the Director of SHIELD and Uncle Daniel was high up in the organization as well. I was seventeen when she was born and her first actual memories of me were around the time my parents passed. I wasn't in a good place then. I'm sure you've seen the articles from the time. It didn't help that her father and mine barely got along; Howard didn't get along with that many people later on in life. And Sharon always thought I liked being in the limelight and went out of my way to be in it. I don't hate her, but she's also never had a flattering opinion of me."
"Sounds tough," Steve said, as he led her to the couch.
"It was at times," Toni sighed, "I don't know what SHIELD was trying to pull by spying on you. I guess they thought with Harry away on missions all the time, and me and Ava in New York, you wouldn't learn the truth about Sharon."
"She was sent in to seduce me," Steve pointed out, "Given the press conference I gave, it was hardly a smart move on their part."
She snorted indelicately, "Nothing SHIELD does is smart. I never told you how exactly I met Clint, did I?"
"He was sent in to spy on you," Steve said, nodding at the bits and pieces he picked up.
"He was sent in to spy on me after I announced that I was Iron Woman," Toni confirmed, "Which he tried to do by trying to seduce me, given my public image. He flirted and did everything that would have appealed to the kind of person SHIELD thought I was. And SHIELD knew at the time that the Arc Reactor was poisoning me slowly."
"You were dying?" he narrowed his eyes as he glanced at her.
"I was," she said, before squeezing his hand, "I'm fine now. But the original core I used to power the reactor was killing me. And they waited 'til I was alone and desperate before they offered me my father's notes. Notes that saved my life in the end. They only offered it to me when they knew I had no other choice. When I'd already accepted I was dying and let my family know."
"If they had something which could have saved you, they should have given it to you sooner!" Steve said, angrily, "How could they have kept something like that from you?"
"Honestly, I think they only budged because Harry demanded they do anything they could. He already knew they were up to something. And Harry all but told me Clint was a SHIELD plant from the start. But we wanted to know what they were up to, so we didn't do anything about it. Not until we had some sort of clue."
"And they're supposed to be the good guys," Steve exhaled.
"They're not exactly the bad guys either," she told him gently, "They're grey. They don't operate within good or evil. They world doesn't work that way, Darling. They operate outside the lines, but generally they do what's best for the world. That's why Harry stays with them. Because he wants to make a difference like his mother. Because he thinks he can make that difference with them. They just don't always follow the same moral compasses that the rest of us do. Certainly not the moral compass that you do."
"I don't know if I can work for an organization like that," Steve said, looking over at her. "How can I trust that we're doing what's right if I don't always agree with their methods?"
"You don't need to agree with them," She said, "Fight back, Steve. If something isn't sitting right with you, then you raise a stink about it. That's what makes you such a good man. You know what's right and what's wrong, and you don't settle for anything less. So don't settle now either. If they want you to do something which you think goes against your being, then don't do it. You have the right to say no, and they can't exactly force you into a situation where you're uncomfortable. That's not how it works."
She looked over at his earnest face, and she thought back to the words her Aunt had told her so many years before.
"Aunt Peggy once told me that the world will always tell you who they want you to be," she paraphrased. "It's your job to tell them no. To plant yourself like a tree and stand firmly against them. And tell them that this is who you are. You are not some SHIELD assassin, Steve. You're Captain America. Steve Rogers. The most honourable man I know. And if they want you to be anything else well then bully for them. Because the man I know. The man I care about, doesn't need to be anything other than himself. The person you are is more than enough."
He leaned forward then, pulling her into a desperate kiss. She relaxed into him as her fingers threaded through his hair. His arms snaked around her then, pulling her on top of him, and she kissed him, full of need.
"I'm going to miss you," he said, in a rough voice as she pulled away for air. "How am I going to last without seeing you every day?"
"You're telling me?" she said, breathlessly. "I've grown so accustomed to you around the tower. I don't know what I'm going to do to pass the time."
"I guess I just have to make the best of the time I have left with you," he said, looking at her with need and she let out a small sigh as she dipped her head back in for another kiss.
She really was going to miss this.
"You're moping," Ava said, as she glanced at her cousin.
"I'm not moping," Toni argued, as she tried to stare at the screen with the calculations for her new suit.
"You're moping," Harley agreed, and she glared at him.
"I'm not moping," Toni shot back at the boy who was visiting her over the remainder of his winter break.
"Definitely moping," Peter confirmed, and she glared at him.
"You're supposed to be the good kid!" she wagged a finger at him. "You used to respect me! You've been corrupted! I demand to know who corrupted my kid."
"It was a summer project," Harley grinned at her, and she threw a crumpled-up piece of notepaper at him.
"You're not allowed to corrupt Peter," she told Harley firmly, "He's the good kid here. If anything, he's supposed to be a good influence on you! Not the other way around. Don't ruin my kid, Keener."
Peter blushed at that and Harley grinned widely.
"I thought I was your kid?" Harley asked her, "We're connected, remember?"
"Connected my ass," she grumbled. "All of you are being major pains. Makes me wonder why I even agreed to let you all into my lab."
"Because otherwise you're just going to be moping over your boyfriend again," Ava said knowingly, "And Pepper wanted to get plans for the new StarkPad by the end of the week. Can't get those done if you're busy being sad that your boyfriend's across the country."
"I'm not dependant on him or anything," she sighed. "I'm capable of being a perfectly functioning adult. Even if he's not here. I don't exactly need him here with me all the time."
"You're allowed to miss him, Toni," Ava said gently, "It doesn't make you weak for missing the people in your life. I miss Bruce when he's away. You care about him. You're allowed to miss him, especially when the two of you are used to seeing each other every day."
"He needs this," she said, "He needs a purpose in this new world, and SHIELD is giving him one. I'm happy that he's getting accustomed to this new time. I am. But it doesn't mean that I don't miss him as much as I do. I just wish he could have a purpose that is based out of New York and not Washington DC. It doesn't help that all his missions are secrets and he can't tell me what he's doing."
"Don't pretend that you didn't hack SHIELD," Ava said with a knowing grin, "I know you've had a backdoor since Harry started to make sure he was safe. You very much are aware of what he's doing at any given time, even if he can't explicitly tell you what it is that he's doing."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Toni said, giving her cousin an innocent smile. And really, it wasn't her fault that SHIELD made it far too easy to hack at times. If the organization had better skills then really they would have caught her sooner and blocked her access.
But SHIELD was no her when it came to creating tech, and everyone knew it. She was sure Fury had an idea that she had an in at the organization, but he never called her out on it, nor did he try to take it away from her. And as long as she used it only to check in on Harry and Steve, she was sure it would stay that way.
"Miss, you have an incoming call from Captain Rogers," JARVIS said then, as her StarkPhone lit up.
"Toni your boyfriend's calling," Harley teased, causing Peter to start giggling once more.
"Hush you," she winked at the kids. She picked up her phone and left the lab carefully, as she began heading back to her private quarters to take the call.
"Hello?" she said, anxious to see his face on the other end of the video call.
"Hi Sweetheart," Steve breathed, "It's good to see you."
"It's good to hear yours too," she admitted to him, "You have no idea just how much I've missed you."
"I thought you'd be busy with the science family," he teased her, "No one to make you eat at normal times and sleep a decent amount in the day. Living it up in the city."
She laughed, "Ava tries at times, but she's no you. It's hard taking orders about eating from the girl who used to throw her food onto other people when she was a baby. Kind of takes away all the authority she has, really."
"Sounds like she must have been an entertaining kid," Steve grinned over the phone.
"Harry was worse," she shook her head, "He'd go through months where he'd only eat certain coloured food. At one point he chose brown because he was sure it meant that he'd eat chocolate for every meal. Jokes on him though because Uncle Daniel went out of his way to find brown coloured vegetables. I'm pretty sure he must have looked for hours for some of them. But in the end, Harry kept to his word and would eat whatever as long as it was the colour,
he claimed he was eating at the time."
"Sounds like it must have been entertaining to watch," Steve commented, and she felt her heart ache at the distance between them.
"How are you doing, Darling?" she asked him carefully, wanting to know all about how he was settling into the new city he was living in.
"Good," Steve said with a smile, "Natasha, Harry and I have been on a few missions so far. Actually, we have another one in a few days. And I made a new friend."
"Oh?" she asked him curiously. She hoped it wasn't Sharon. While the woman was decent by her own merits, she didn't trust the younger girl not to continue to try and worm her way into Steve's life to deliver reports to Fury still. Just because she'd been caught didn't mean her mission scope had changed.
"His name is Sam," Steve told her, "Sam Wilson. He's ex-Army and now works as a counsellor for the VA. I went to one of his talks and it was nice, listening to him try and help bring others home mentally, when so much of themselves still feels like it's been left behind."
"Steve," she said gently.
"I'm sorry," he said, suddenly, guilt filling his face, "I know how that comes off. I'm glad to be here, Toni. I'm so glad I met you and glad that I'm learning how to navigate the new century. I finally have a place that feels like home with you in the tower. I didn't mean to sound insensitive to everything you've done for me to help me out."
"Steve," she said again, "You don't sound ungrateful. You fought in a war. The worst war that ever happened. You fought against HYDRA, bringing down the terror cells. And then you went under. No one ever expected this to be easy for you. No one ever thought it should be. You went through something indescribable. It's okay for you not to be okay. I'm glad you found someone to talk to. War isn't easy. It takes a lot out of a person, no matter where they fight, what they do, what they see. It's one of the toughest things a person can do. It doesn't mean you're not happy to be back. But it doesn't change the fact either that you were taken out of your time and dumped in the future. It doesn't change that you missed all those years and all the things that happened in them."
"Thank you," he said, in a soft voice. "It was nice, hearing them talk. I know you've always been there to listen to me, but it was nice hearing someone else describe the things I was feeling. That the guilt I carry over losing Bucky is normal, and that it happens to others. I still have nightmares from time to time. Nightmares of what would have happened if I caught him. Nightmares of losing him. Of him blaming me. And I know it's all in my head. But it was nice just getting to be there."
"I'm glad," she told him with a smile, "Maybe next time I'm there, you can introduce me to this Sam? I'd love to meet some of your friends."
"Most of my friends you already know," he laughed, "I spend most of my time with your cousin and Natasha anyways."
"But you made a friend on your own," she teased him, "And I'm proud of you for that. Did you compliment his shoes? Apparently, people tend to like it if you compliment them."
"No, I just lapped him a few times while jogging in the morning," he laughed.
"Jogging," she deadpanned, "You lapped him while jogging."
"Just because you don't appreciate working out doesn't mean the rest of us don't enjoy it," he grinned, knowing how much she hated exercising.
"I'm sure he enjoyed you overtaking him," she shook her head at him. "Getting shown up by an old man. Must be embarrassing for him. Give him my condolences."
"What's it with all of you guys poking fun of my age," he said, with a fake hurt expression on his face. "It does things to a man to hear the woman he cares about treat him like an ancient fossil."
"Darling, we both know you have the body of a god," she said, shaking his head, "Maybe not Thor, but you know, it's at least better than Loki's."
"Rude," he shot back at her, with an incredulous look on his face, so she simply stuck her tongue out at him.
"You know I'm right," she said with a laugh. "But for what it's worth, I'm glad you're doing well, Steve. You deserve a chance to live your life. To try and find a place where you belong in this world. And SHIELD is giving you a purpose. A chance to make the world a better place. That's what Aunt Peggy and my father wanted it to be about. That's why Harry joined, and why Sharon followed. It's why even if I don't fully trust them, I help them out. I want you to find that purpose, to find what it is that gives you joy. And to make friends and gain experiences. You had your life stolen from you when you went down in the ice. You deserve a chance to try and get some of it back. And to have a chance to live."
"I have a pretty good life already," he told her with a soft smile, "I like the life I have with you. I like watching you work and listening to you explain random tidbits of knowledge when we watch Star Wars. I like the life I have with you. Just because I'm with SHIELD and making friends of my own doesn't mean I don't enjoy what we have and don't look forward to coming home and being back with you."
Coming Home.
He'd called her tower home.
She knew he thought of it as one. But to hear him say that her tower was his home, that she was his home, melted her heart.
"I can't wait for you to come home either," she said with a grin. "The bots miss you. I swear DUM-E gets disappointed every time I enter the lab and you're not beside me."
"I'll visit them soon," he promised, "Let them know I miss them too."
"I'll have J play back that soundbyte for them," she promised.
"I'll talk to you soon," he said.
"Bye, Steve," she said, ending the call as she felt lighter than she had in a while.
