This is a legitimate one-shot, not an add-on, and it isn't smutty, but it does have nudity, mentions of sexual things, and personal vulnerability.
"Can I ask you something?" Poe said quietly as he laid in bed next to Karena.
They had curled up together under the warmth of her covers. The nights on D'Qar had been growing particularly cold, so they had sought out each other. Poe had no desire to sleep in his chilled quarters all alone on a stiff bed when he could sleep with a warm body cuddled up to his side in a comfier bed, and Karena was all for having his company. She had been finding it more and more difficult to fall asleep without him by her side.
Although, they did both feel bad for not allowing the droids into the room, but considering what often went on when the pilot and the spy were in close quarters together, neither wanted either of the droids to be around for it just in case. At least both Gray and BB-8 had grown accustomed to each other's company and no longer bickered as much as they used to. The same could be said about their owners.
"I can't promise a straight answer," she replied honestly against his chest. "But you're always free to ask."
He supposed that was better than a flat 'no' to his request, and at least she was outright and completely aware of her aversion to personal questions. And even with her aversion, she liked knowing what was going on in his mind and appreciated that he wanted to know what was going on in hers even if she wasn't fully ready for it.
Poe's fingers drummed along her arm as he stared up at the ceiling. The question he wanted to ask was something that had been on his mind ever since they first started their relationship. Or lack thereof. Did it even count as a relationship? A sexual relationship, absolutely, but nothing about it was a normal romantic relationship in any sense or even a normal sexual relationship for that matter. With how much of their downtime they spent together, they might as well have been in a real, romantic relationship. And not to mention, Poe had not followed through with Snap's urging to tell her about his true feelings.
But that wasn't the point.
"We've never had a talk about. . . you know, protection."
And just like that, a thirty-one-year-old man devolved into an awkward teenager when having a serious conversation about sex rather than something light-hearted or fun. Perhaps it was because of their lack of serious talks in any subject because it wasn't as though he had never had serious talks about sex before, just none with her. One of the few times they had had a serious conversation, they both got drunk straight afterward.
It made him feel strange, off, or that if they had a serious talk about sex rather than always having fun with it, then it became something more. They had almost completely been playing it by ear, no matter how much they probably should not have been.
Poe continued despite his inner discomfort, all of which she could easily feel through the Force since he had a tendency to wear his emotions on his sleeve. "And, well, you're obviously not pregnant," he muttered, "so I've assumed that. . . actually, I don't know what I've really been assuming. But you've also brushed aside even the slightest mention of. . ." He sighed, grimaced, and closed his eyes even though he hadn't even been looking at her anyway.
"Is there a question in there somewhere?" Karena prodded. She knew he was right, though.
Their first time, they had been drunk, so any sort of protection had been completely forgotten. They hadn't been thinking straight. Then the second time, he had sort of brought it up when he asked where she wanted him to cum, but nothing was said beyond that. And since then there had been a mix of him cumming inside her or on her depending on what they were doing. At no point had either of them seriously broached the topic of using something like a condom, even if it was sort of brought up in the slightest of manners.
"Why have you never asked me to use a condom?" Poe finally fully asked, turning his head to look down at her tucked under his arm. No stops, no awkwardness, no beating around the bush, just the full question. He was an adult, and he didn't need to act like he was a teenager getting the sex talk from his dad. There was nothing wrong with talking about it. Open communication was a must.
At least, that's what he kept telling himself so he wouldn't revert back to being said teenager. All of those mini pep-talks were correct, of course, but it only helped the pervasive thoughts so much.
"A few reasons." Karena nibbled on her lip.
"Can you please tell me?"
After a few seconds, she nodded and pulled away, pushing herself up to sit cross-legged. Poe had an inkling feeling that it was because she was drawing into herself while knowing she needed to answer. He pushed himself up, too, leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. Some of her hair guarded her expression against him, but he didn't need to see her face to recognize her mood. The tenseness in her shoulders and the jerky movement of her fingers said enough.
"Well, for one, I never thought you'd be the type of person to knowingly pass along a disease, so there's that." She pulled at a loose thread on the blanket so she didn't have to look at him for the next part. "But also, I can't get pregnant anyway, so I. . . I just figured there was no point."
He never thought she'd want children since she didn't particularly seem like the mothering type, but regardless, the way she mentioned her lack of ability to get pregnant made him wonder about her true aversion to talking about it. His eyes drifted down to her lower abdomen. While the scar was covered by the top and underwear she wore, he could see it clearly in his mind. He had seen it enough times to know exactly where it was and could imagine how gruesome it must have looked when she received it, however she had.
"The scar," Poe quietly said. He didn't need to be specific about which of the scars he meant. It was longer and more obvious than all her others.
Karena nodded silently, not looking up from the thread her gaze was solely focused on. She'd never shied away from him seeing her scars, even that specific one, rather how she had gotten it in the first place was what she always refused to share. Though to be fair, he hadn't directly asked her about it either aside from the one time they were both drunk, and even then, she cut him off before he was able to finish the question.
Poe slowly reached over and, with ease, pulled her closer to him, back into his arms. She went willingly, relishing in the comfort his embrace gave. And for a few short minutes, he simply held her, nuzzling his face in her hair. He even placed a kiss in the crook of her neck. Everything he did was able to soothe her.
She could've fallen asleep with him holding her like that. She could've stayed like that forever. She could've. . . told him everything right then and there.
His breath tickled her ear as he said, "I won't ask how you got it, but can I look at it?" The tips of his fingers caressed the hem of her top along her hipbone.
The calming motion urged her to nod. "Yes."
Gently, Poe helped take off her top and underwear, tossing them to the floor, and nudged her to lay down on the bed. In any other instance, he'd take a moment to stare at her nude form. He'd seen it plenty of times, they had grown completely comfortable with seeing each other naked, and each time he was able to find something new to love, such as a few of the freckles dotting her skin or the way her muscles tensed and relaxed depending on what he did, but at that moment, he focused on one thing.
Laying by her side but further down in line with her stomach, Poe's eyes settled on the scar. The easiest way to describe it was being across her lower abdomen, but it was more than that, and the longer he looked, the more he noticed.
His fingers barely touched the scarred skin at the top of her left thigh, and he followed it upward across her pelvis to the top of her right hipbone. The entire scar had been stitched together, likely by a droid due to the uniformity of it, which lessened the massive scarring that likely would have occurred from a wound of that size, but rather than it simply being a surface scar as though she had been cut by a knife or vibroblade, Poe realized it reached around the side of her thigh and the side of her hipbone. But on both ends, it didn't have the curve of a surface scar. And that only meant one thing.
Whatever had given her the scar, it had almost sliced her clean through. Through the skin. Through the muscle. Through the hipbone. Through the organs.
"I almost didn't survive," Karena said, her voice barely above a whisper while she watched him study the scar. "My uterus is a small price to pay. My intestines are a different story. Cybernetics." She had tried to sound light and airy, as if unbothered, but he'd gotten to know her well enough to know she was completely bothered by it, likely all stemming from its origin, not it being there.
He wanted to ask when, where, and how, and she could see the questions swirling in his dark eyes, but he didn't ask, and for that she was grateful.
Poe ran his fingers over the scar one last time before pushing himself up and hovering over her. Then he kissed her. Slowly, gently, comfortingly. Lovingly. Usually, a kiss from Poe left Karena dizzy, breathless, hungry because there was a certain passion and need behind it. But the one right then felt different, warm, safe. He didn't want anything from it. It was just a kiss in its purest form.
Karena reached up, lacing her fingers through his hair just how she knew he liked it, and Poe kept one steady hand on her hip, his thumb caressing the scar.
For the rest of the night, they relished in each other's company, drawing comfort from the embrace and shared vulnerability. Though Poe did at least take off his own underwear, sharing body warmth on a cold night and all.
