Tracing her finger in a slow circle on Elsa's belly, Anna leaned against her, blinking away sleep. She wasn't sure what had woken her up; she didn't recall having a bad dream, but it was the middle of night, and for some reason, she was awake.
Waking up to Elsa certainly made that a less horrible predicament. She's so ruined my sleep schedule. Her skin was so soft under her finger – positively perfect in every way. It was all she'd ever dreamed. Wow, that sounds pathetic. Was I really dreaming about how her skin felt?
She peered into Elsa's sleeping face, her eyes moving under their lids. She'd had enough time for the idea to have set in. It's been almost two weeks, for God's sake, but it still wasn't enough. Every single time she saw her, each morning when she woke up, she was absolutely convinced that the whole charade would just crumble apart. Whatever had possessed Elsa to agree to this would unravel, and her depravity would be denied, laid bare, and demolished. She would finally come to her senses and realize that Anna was just insane.
Each day going by without such an event was reassuring her, but it still seemed impossible. Elsa, the woman she'd been unable to stop thinking about, even with Moana – the woman she had so desperately craved and not even come close to deserving, was in her bed. She was her girlfriend. She loves me.
Resting her head on her sister's chest, Anna found comfort in the steady heartbeat. She was really there. She really came around. After everything with Giselle, I'd been so worried that she'd finally wake up. Instead, she's shared a bed with me every single night for the last three days. Olaf's been at his dad's, which if it wasn't for her, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle, but she's really been here. She breathed in the woman she so adored, treasuring her scent as the steady thumping made her grow drowsy again.
She's even starting to seem ready for more. The way she's been holding me when we make out, the way she grabbed my ass, it's really gonna happen. I'm just going to have to survive a little more waiting, and she is so ridiculously worth it. "I love you," she murmured, her eyelids fluttering shut without her consent.
Maybe this really will last. She was finally allowing herself to believe it. Perhaps it was her doubts that had stirred her, as with this new conviction, sleep was finally seizing her again. She drifted off, her arm wrapped tightly around her partner, holding her close as she slept.
The drive over to Kristoff's was so much less nerve-wracking than it had always been. Anna hadn't even noticed it at the time, but she always felt so tense, so uncomfortable, when she had to make the biweekly trip. Even their renewed friendship hadn't changed it. Now, however, she was finally cured. It must've been from the other day. We really made amends, or at least close enough. He's actually letting me take Olaf to New York. I was so scared that he wouldn't; he has every reason not to. He's his son too. He's only doing this for me, and that means he's forgiven me.
Olaf opened the door on the second knock. "Mama!" he cheered, leaping into her arms.
Anna scooped him up as she headed inside, holding her son close. She had missed him so much. How am I going to handle him being gone all summer? Three days was already too painful. "Hey, Olaf. Your dad around?" He better not have left you alone.
"I'm here!" Kristoff called, coming in from the other room. "Sorry, I told him I'd get it."
"But I wanted to!"
Anna smiled at him. It was still strange getting along with him, but she was glad that the animosity between them seemed to have finally died down. "It's fine. I'm not gonna complain about getting to see my son a few seconds early."
Olaf beamed up at her. "I made you this!" He wriggled around in her arms, trying to produce the drawing from behind his back. On the picture, Elsa seemed to be sitting in the captain's chair, with Olaf and Anna on consoles, and what must've been Kristoff as a Klingon at the back in yellow. "Do you like it?" She was a little relieved that he hadn't included Moana. Maybe he was finally getting over her.
"I love it."
"It's our family."
Swallowing the knot that seemed to form in her throat, Anna nodded. It was their family, and she was so happy about it. "Why aren't you the captain? Is this not the Olafprize?"
"I am the captain, but since Elsa is my sensei, I'm letting her be in charge while she's on board."
"That's very sweet of you." Setting him back down on the floor, Anna ruffled his short blond hair. It grown to the point where he'd need a haircut soon. "I hope you two had fun?" she added, turning to Kristoff.
"Yeah, it was great."
"He even let us watch Star Wars!"
Trying her best not to grin too broadly at him, Anna asked, "Thought you were mad at Star Wars?"
"I can't stay mad at it. Even if Star Trek is so much better. Lightsabers are cool."
That'd be why we have like five of them at this point. "Well then, I'm glad you could put your differences aside for the sake of laser swords."
"I'll put up with a lot of things for the sake of laser swords. It's the only reason I watched that sh – really bad Zorro cartoon."
"I liked it," Olaf muttered.
Anna gave Kristoff a playful glare. How dare you insult a show he likes? "Well, I think that Zorro is great." Okay, the show was pretty bad.
"Yeah!" Olaf cheered.
"Then you two can watch it." Wait. No. I take it back. I'm not sitting through that again.
"Really, Mama?" He turned toward her, his face lighting up all over again. "We can watch it? It was so much fun. Maybe Aunt Elsa could watch it with us too."
"Yeah, maybe," Anna replied through gritted teeth.
Kristoff's shit-eating grin only added to the wound. I suppose there have to at least be some benefits for him giving him up. "I'm sure we can show Elsa a bunch of cool shows. You know, she hasn't even watched much Star Trek." Please work.
His eyes widened as his mouth dropped open. "She hasn't? Then we have to fix that! Come on, Mama, there's no time to spare!" He grabbed at her hand, trying to drag her out of the apartment as she stood still.
"Say goodbye to your papa first."
"Oh." Stopping in his tracks, he pivoted to face his father, an embarrassed little smile on his face. "Sorry, Papa. I'll see you soon! I love you." So he doesn't understand.
Kristoff managed to return his smile with only a bit of pain showing. Letting his son move across the country without him had to be the hardest thing he'd ever done. It was almost enough to make Anna want to see if Elsa could get him a job in New York too. But if he found out about us – she tried not to think any more on that. She trusted Kristoff, but she'd already seen just how badly that conversation could go. "You have fun in New York, kiddo. I'm gonna miss you."
He cocked his head, peering up at Kristoff. "I'll miss you too," he offered hesitantly, turning back to his mother. I was really hoping Kristoff had talked to him already.
"Hey, honey, how about you give your father a hug and get in the car? I need to talk to him for a second."
"Okay." He nodded, and threw his arms around Kristoff, hugging him tight, before he ran off to the car. Anna beeped it open when he got there.
"Leave the door open!" she called after him. She didn't want him roasting in there, even if it would only be about a minute with both of them still watching him. They left the front door open, as Kristoff took a few steps toward her so they could talk more quietly. The place was on the second floor, there was almost no chance Olaf would overhear. "So you didn't talk to him about it?"
Chewing on his lip, Kristoff shook his head. "I hinted at it some, I mean I thought he knew."
"He does. Kind of."
"Want me to go tell him? He'll stop being mad at me by the time he comes back out here." It was clear in his eyes just how much that fact hurt him. He would probably be crying as soon as she drove off. It put a bit of a damper on her enjoyment of the whole thing.
"No, it's okay. I'll talk to him about it." I owe Kristoff that much.
"You sure?" His own pain seemed to make way for his concern for her. He always worried for her, and Anna presumed at this point he always would. It made their being cordial all the more important.
"Yeah. I'm the one dragging him to New York. I did tell him," she insisted, leaning against the door frame, watching him swing his legs out of the car. "I guess I just didn't tell him well enough."
"I'm sure it'll go all right. You were right, he worships Elsa. He'll be thrilled to be living with her."
Nodding, Anna couldn't help but think how much she related to that sentiment. Elsa is perfect. "He'll be back for a full week before school starts up. I already started the applications for first grade at the school near Elsa's. I want to meet a few of the teachers, but I looked up stuff about it and it seems like it's really good."
"That's great to hear." His smile was almost convincing. "You should probably get going. Make sure you give him a big hug for me when you get down there."
Anna gave him a quick hug, pulling away after a couple seconds. It still felt a little weird. "Yeah. Maybe I'll go buy him some ice cream, sit him down, and make sure he understands what's happening. He's been a trooper so far, I know he'll be all right."
"He will," Kristoff insisted, forcing another smile. "We did a great job raising him, somehow. He'll be fine."
She tried her best not to focus on the implied 'unlike me.' "All right, I'll get going. Thanks for looking after him the last few days." She walked down the stairs, turning back to wave to her ex-husband.
"Don't forget that hug," he called back as he closed the door.
"Right. I won't. Bye."
At the car, she pulled Olaf into a hug, trying to hold back tears. She was ripping him away from his father. Hopefully New York really will be good for him. I really hope Nani takes that job, I don't want him to lose his best friend and his father all because of me. "Let's go get ice cream."
Sitting down in the Dairy Queen, with a chocolate-dipped cone, Anna watched Olaf dig into his sundae. She wasn't sure how to begin. He should already know what's going on, but he certainly didn't seem to. Guess I should just start. She bit into the chocolate-coated chocolate ice cream to buy herself some time to think. "So, you know what's happening tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah." His smiling face was coated in strawberry syrup and ice cream. "We're going to New York."
"Right." So he gets that at least. "And you understand that we're staying there?"
"Yeah, of course. We're moving."
Did he just forget when he was talking to his dad? "That's right."
"So when are we coming back?"
Anna licked ice cream off of her cone. There it was. "We might not be. Hopefully, we're just going to stay in New York."
"Oh." He frowned, considering his bowl of ice cream. "Are Lilo and Papa coming with us?"
"Lilo might be," she offered. It was better than having to just tell him no. She'd been dreading this conversation for so long. She'd been relieved when it had looked like it wouldn't happen, but of course she couldn't be quite that lucky.
"Then how will I see Papa?"
"You'll fly back out here."
"Without you?" he asked, looking nervous. "Mama, I can't fly by myself. I'd get lost. How will I find the way to Portland?"
"The pilot will take care of that. You'll have someone with you the whole way until you're with your papa. You don't need to worry about that."
"Oh." After a moment of thought, he beamed at her. "You mean Moana?"
This is just not going well. "Probably not Moana." I think she does fly United though. I suppose it's possible, I'm not entirely sure how the unaccompanied minor program works, but I'm doubting it. I wonder if she'd even be willing to. I know how badly I hurt her.
"Then who?"
"I'm not sure, Olaf. It'll just be someone who works for the airline."
"But Moana works for them!"
With a heavy sigh, Anna licked some ice cream off her wrist and busied herself trying to work it back down to the cone so it would stop dripping. "I doubt it'll be someone you know."
"But I'm not supposed to go with strangers!" He looked panicked, his smeared face somehow adding to the look of horror.
"Well, I'll be there when I hand you over. They won't be a stranger then."
"Are you sure?" Stabbing the spoon into his food, he narrowed his eyes at her, trying to wrap his head around this information. "Wouldn't they still be a stranger since we didn't already know them?"
Clearly, he needs to become a philosopher. "I'm not sure, honey. I'll make sure it's someone we can trust."
The petulant look on his face did nothing to convince her he believed that. "Okay."
"It won't be too bad. I promise."
"How do you know? Did you do it?"
"Well, no."
"Then why do I have to?"
Anna bit into the cone, letting the chocolate soothe her mind. She hated doing this to him. Her parents would so often just say that it was because they'd said so, or that that was just how things were done. They so rarely gave a decent explanation. Elsa did. Even if a lot of them turned out to be wrong as they grew up, she at least always tried to. So, I just need to be as good of a mother as my girlfriend was to me. I'm starting to see why she was so uncomfortable with us. "I know it's not fair. I'm sorry. I'll do everything I can to make it better, but we're going to be moving in with Elsa. You like that, right?"
"I do," he muttered.
"Well, your papa lives out here, and he can't just come with us."
"Why not?"
She sighed. "I don't think he'd want to. This is his home."
"But it's our home and we're moving!"
He has a point. "Well, maybe eventually he'll decide to move out too." I really hope not though. "Until then, you'll have to visit him this way."
"Can Sven come with me?" he pleaded, his lip quivering with fear and hope.
"I think Kristoff needs him. You don't want him to be all alone out here, do you?"
"Well, no," he grumbled.
"Then let him keep Sven. You'll still see him whenever you visit."
"Are you sure?"
Unless he has somewhere else to go. "I'm sure." Maybe he has another family, and he has to go on his own trip to go see them. That'd be adorable, just seeing him sitting in the window seat, watching the plane take off.
"Okay," he finally said, digging back into his ice cream.
It likely wasn't the last of this, but he seemed to have accepted her answers for now, and she was proud of herself for having actually given them. She'd earned this ice cream. When she finished off her cone, Olaf was almost done with his sundae. She wiped off their faces, and they headed back way back to the car. Hopefully, I didn't ruin his appetite for dinner. I wanted to have Flying Pie one more time before I left.
The half-finished pizza lay on the table between them, as Olaf flopped onto the couch to go watch something. Anna used the moment to lean against Elsa, enjoying the leisure time as they all digested. She was going to really miss Portland. I won't see Giselle, Esmeralda, or Jack any time soon. And I'm losing all the restaurants Esmeralda showed me! Elsa was worth it, of course, but it was still suddenly all too real. She had one more night in her home of seven years, and then she would be gone for good.
Running her fingers through Anna's hair, Elsa planted a gentle kiss on her temple. "You okay?"
She nodded, not wanting to break the comfortable silence. She'd talk to Elsa about it all once Olaf went to bed. The conversation would be far too likely to grow very intimate. It could wait another hour or two.
The volume on the tv suddenly doubled, as Olaf started his show. He'd missed the episode when it was on, and had no intention of going to bed without seeing it. As it was summer vacation, Anna allowed it.
"Am I going to have to get used to this?" Elsa asked, gesturing toward the TV.
"Well, yeah, it's his favorite show."
"Great," she grumbled, curling a strand of hair around her finger.
"It grows on you. I promise it's not that bad."
She did not seem to believe her, but she didn't bother to reply, instead focusing on toying with Anna's hair. Anna didn't object. Maybe she'll get into it eventually. It actually has some pretty good moments, and some of the interactions are really good.
The massive explosion followed by some terrible acting as they talked to the villain likely did little to convince Elsa. There's a reason it's been going for twenty-six years. Anything with a villainous computer virus was likely just never going to be Elsa's cup of tea.
They pulled apart as the show ended. Olaf leapt up and turned to them. The timing relieved Anna. They shouldn't have been so foolish, they had to keep things secret for at least the next twelve years and they were off to a terrible start. "Did you like your episode?" she asked, her voice as calm and collected as she could make it.
"Yeah! It was really good. When will I get animal powers?"
"When you're bitten by a radioactive animal, I guess." This is not a lesson I should be teaching him. 'If you really want to be a superhero, then go wander around radioactive wastelands waiting to be bitten. I hear Chernobyl is nice this time of year.' "But you're perfect just the way you are."
"But I don't have lion powers!"
"You're a Jedi-ninja," Elsa reminded him. "That's much better than being an animal person."
"But I wanna be a beast morpher!"
"Well then, I guess we'll just have to stop your lessons until I find a radioactive animal."
His eyes widened as he waved his hands in front of him in surrender. "No! I still love being a Jedi-ninja, Sensei, I'm sorry."
"All right, then. That's what I thought. We'll continue your lessons tomorrow."
"Yes, Sensei." She really is good with him. I can't even manage that.
"Now go to bed," Anna added.
"But it's still early," he whined.
"We have an early flight tomorrow. I want you to still get a full night's sleep." She gestured upstairs. "Come on. We have to get up at five AM."
"Then we shouldn't leave so early!"
I'm not explaining how booking flights works. It was the shortest one with no connections. "Well, this is the one we have. So get some sleep."
"Fine," he muttered, marching toward the stairway. He turned back, his expression as pitiful as he could manage. "Can I just stay up another half hour?"
"Go to bed."
With a mighty groan, he made his way up to his room.
"Brush your teeth first!"
The door opened again and she could hear water running upstairs. Elsa giggled, dragging Anna back to her. "That was close."
"Yeah, we've been really bad about that."
She nodded, her jaw set in a worried expression.
"It'll be okay. He won't think anything's up." I hope.
"He might not, and then he'll talk about it to someone else, and they'll figure things out."
"I mean, probably not. If it's all just mundane parental affection, then I doubt he'd even see a reason to talk about it. We're his family. I certainly didn't talk about how mom and dad were never home when I was a kid. It just didn't come up."
Her brow furrowed as she looked down at Anna. "They were around."
"Elsa –"
"And either way, there's a big difference. They were just busy with work. We're –" she hesitated, biting her lip. "We're in an incestuous relationship and not being at all subtle about it. If he tells anyone, it'll be pretty obvious."
"Well, they don't have to know we're related."
Elsa shook her head, her lips pursed as she stared off in the general direction of the fridge. "Some people already do. It's too big of a risk."
"Then I guess we'll just be subtle." Anna pulled back to meet Elsa's eyes. She reached out, gripping her hands in her own. "I know it's scary. I'm sorry. But I promise, we'll make it worth it."
"It's already worth it, Anna."
"Oh." Cheeks coloring, Anna fumbled for a response. She knew that Elsa had finally fallen for her, and that they'd already crossed over any point where they could still back out. She just hadn't expected her to have come around to quite that degree yet.
"I love you, Anna. I think I've been pretty clear about that by now."
"You have. I just – I mean – you're still my – er, I'm not supposed to say that. You're just so scared, I thought you still had doubts. You really think it's worth it?"
Elsa's grip tightened on Anna's hands. I shouldn't have asked that. I'm just making her feel bad now. "I thought you understood." She rose from the chair, closing the limited distance between them, and kneeling before Anna. "It's still scary, of course it is, and I have good reason to be worried, but that doesn't mean I have doubts. Being with you has been absolutely magical. I have fallen so hard for you and I don't want anything else. You don't need to worry, I'm not going to just back out of things. I want to be with you."
Anna could feel her cheeks growing even warmer. When Elsa tried to be romantic, boy did she ever succeed. "So you're really ready for me to move in tomorrow?"
Elsa only faltered for a fraction of a second. "It's big, and it's gonna be a major change, but yeah, I am. I want you with me. I just hope you won't go too stir-crazy with me at work all the time. I'm trying to cut back some, but it's still my life."
"I'll manage. If I can find a teaching job soon, then that takes up just about as much time. We can sit together on the couch as you go over legal papers and I grade class papers. It'll be really nice."
Elsa's lips curved into a warm smile as she pictured that. "That does sound nice. Okay, I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wouldn't just be around the house all the time like I have been of late."
"I know, honey. We're adults, you're allowed to have jobs."
"I suppose it does sound silly when you put it like that. Sorry."
Her fingers twined through Elsa's hair as she pulled her to her until their lips met. Her free hand fell to Elsa's hips, pushing her flush against her. It was only a moment before her hand cupped Elsa's ass; she was trying to just be romantic, but it was hard to resist. It was just too nice. Maybe I should start jogging too.
She was shocked when Elsa escalated as well, pulling her half out of the chair until her legs were wrapped around Elsa, as she lightly nibbled on her lip. Anna shuddered, letting out a soft whimper. She wanted this so badly. I can wait. I know Elsa's not ready yet.
"Let's go to your bedroom," Elsa said, with only the slightest hint of fear, as they pulled back. Her eyes were half-lidded, her breathing was rapid and hot against Anna's neck. Or maybe she is.
"You mean?"
Elsa bit into her own lip, nervously meeting Anna's eyes again as she nodded.
Anna grabbed her hand and dashed up the stairs. She could be quiet if she had to be. She'd wanted this for so long, she could scarcely believe it was even happening. Even as they fell into bed together, it felt more like a dream. If it was, then it was the best dream she'd ever had, and it led to a restful sleep of more beautiful dreams in her beloved's arms. It was, without a doubt, the best way to spend her last night at home.
