Chapter 70
Toni sighed to herself as she placed down the latest diagrams she'd been drawing up for a new StarkSystems integrated car. It was still a relatively new field, but she new smart cars where the future. She already had JARVIS integrated into all of her cars, so if she could create a "dumber" smart solution, one that provided what the average person needed, such as navigation, music, smart steering, well then she was sure it would be a new field that she could profit off of.
She just needed to figure out a good UI to present it all to the user with.
"Sweetheart," Steve said, as he entered her lab. "It's almost time for breakfast. You should take a break; you look like you're wearing yourself out."
"Are you trying to tell me I look like trash?" she asked him with a pout, despite knowing fully well what he meant by his statement.
"Never," he grinned, as he walked over to her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "But that doesn't mean that you don't need some sleep. But I know I'm not going to win that battle when you have a deadline coming up, so at the very least, come eat some breakfast, okay? I made some potatoes, bacon, and eggs."
She smiled up at him, as she stood, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I don't deserve you," she said tiredly as she kissed him on the lips.
"I could argue that I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, but then we'd be here all morning," Steve said, "And that defeats the purpose of me trying to get you upstairs and to eat some breakfast, doesn't it?"
She laughed, as the sound filled her lab, and DUM-E whirred at that.
"See, even your children want you to go eat some food," Steve said, and DUM-E whirred again in confirmation.
"Okay," she said, knowing better than to argue with her husband. And she wouldn't admit it willingly, but her stomach was starting to growl at the thought of food. "Okay let's go then, shall we?"
He took her hand in his and led her to the elevator, as they headed up to the kitchen area. Immediately, the smell of bacon and eggs filled the air, alongside the undeniable grease from fried potatoes.
But instead of wanting to eat it all, right there and then, she felt nausea fill her. Steve gave her a concerned look, but she immediately ran to the bathroom, and threw up. He followed quickly in, to see her sitting there, hunched over the toilet as she emptied out the content of her stomach.
And when she was done, she rinsed out her mouth, trying to get the disgusting taste out of it.
"Toni?" Steve asked, wanting to give her space. But it was clear he was concerned too. "Are you okay, Sweetheart?"
"I think I need to sit down," she said, and he led her to their room. She sat on the bed, feeling exhausted all of a sudden, both from the lack of sleep and from the vomiting.
"I don't know what happened," she admitted to him, as he carefully sat beside her on the bed. He rubbed her back tenderly. "Nothing like that had ever happened before. But the smell just hit me and all of a sudden I needed to vomit."
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, placing his hand to her forehead, "It could be a bug."
"If I may," JARVIS said, coming on over the speakers then. "I do not believe Miss is sick."
"J?" she asked, confused. She looked up at the sensor, as Steve did the same.
"Mrs Stark-Rogers, you've had several cravings over the last few weeks, and have been more fatigued than usual. That in combination with the fact that you've missed your last monthly cycle, and your current sickness, point to the fact that you may be pregnant," JARVIS said, and she blinked in shock.
"I didn't even realize that I was late," she murmured. "What if I'm pregnant?"
She looked over at Steve, a bit of fear and worry in her eyes, but he shook his head. "Let's confirm it first, okay?" he said in a gentle voice. "Regardless of what the test says, I love you. Pregnant or not, we're in this together, okay? I promise."
She nodded, fearfully, as Steve went to go pick up some pregnancy tests from where the team stored all the common medication and anything else that they may need on a day to day basis. He came back up less than five minutes later, holding a test in his hand, as she took it from him.
"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked her, as she headed towards the bathroom.
She thought about it for a second, unsure. Because on one hand, peeing on a stick in front of her partner definitely wasn't a sexy sight. But she wasn't trying to be attractive to him right now. She was trying to figure out if the two of them were going to have a baby. And she looked up in his eyes, filled with earnest and with love, and nodded.
"If that's okay?" she asked, and he gave her a gentle smile.
"Of course, Darling," he said, kissing her head. "We're in this together, okay? You and me, til the end of the line."
"I thought that was your line for Bucky?" she smiled as they walked towards the bathroom together.
He laughed, "I mean it for both of you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for the two of you."
"Okay," she said, and he gave her another kiss before she took the test in her hand and headed to the toilet.
She'd taken a few of these before, but never was she as filled with emotions as she was in the current moment. Thinking that she and her husband were going to have a baby. And when the test was taken, they went back to the bedroom together, as she held the test shakily in her hands. Steve sat her down on the bed, as he set a timer for two minutes.
Steve wrapped his arms around her, as she stared at the timer between them, watching the seconds count down. Her breathing was shaky, as were her hands, as the test trembled in it. Steve took his free hand, and clasped onto hers, steadying the test between them. She shot him a grateful smile, as the timer went off then.
She took a deep breath and looked down at the test between them with bated breath, knowing this was a big deal.
Two pink lines.
Two.
Pink.
Lines.
She was pregnant.
She glanced up at Steve, and saw his face break out into a huge smile, and all the stress she was feeling left her. She had known he wanted kids before all of this, but somehow the entire situation had left her feeling uneasy.
"We're going to have a baby," Steve said, voice full of wonder.
"We're going to have a baby," she repeated, smiling up at him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, pulling her into him and she let out a laugh, squealing. "Steve!" But she didn't pull away from him, revelling in the joy of their news.
"I love you so much," he told her happily, "I love you, and Peter, and our new baby, and I'm just so grateful to everything you've given me. Without you, I never would have been able to have any of this. A family, a home. You've given me so much already and you just keep giving me so much."
"It took two of us to make this baby," she said, teasingly. "And I could argue the same for you. I would have this family without you."
"I still can't believe we're having a baby," Steve said, shaking his head. "This was not what I thought I'd would happen when I came to get you for breakfast."
"What did you think would happen?" she raised a brow at him.
"A kiss maybe," he said, giving her a sheepish look, "Or you know, getting you to go to bed. That would have been good as well."
"What did I do to deserve you?" she asked, as she placed a hand on her stomach, before biting her lip.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked her gently, sensing her worry.
"Peter," she admitted, "The timing of this pregnancy is awfully close to the press conference we just had. So the stories are going to start questioning if we're still going to give Peter anything like we said, now that we're having a child of our own. And I don't care about any of that. But I'm worried this is going to impact Peter. That he's going to start worrying that we don't want him anymore or that we don't love him as much. He's our son too, and I'm worried how this will affect him."
"We should talk to him," Steve told her. "I know people usually wait to tell others about pregnancies, but Peter isn't most people. I know why you're worried, but let's talk to him, okay? We can make sure he knows just how much we care about him. He's in his room."
"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. Because he was right. There was no point in worrying about what Peter would think without actually talking to her son first. And well, she could wait until they were further in their pregnancy, but if everything went well, they were having a kid in nine months. So their son should be the first to know.
He wrapped an arm around her as they made their way down the hall to Peter's bedroom. They'd soundproofed the walls in the Tower after learning about Peter's superhearing abilities, wanting to grant him privacy but also to ensure that he wouldn't hear anything he wasn't supposed to.
Such as the discussion about her pregnancy.
She knocked on the door, and heard him tell them to come in.
"Hey Peter," she said, as she entered the room. He was sitting at his desk, as he paused the game he was playing, to look up at them.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, sensing something was off, and she stood in front of him.
"Can we talk?" Steve asked him, and Peter nodded in confusion.
"You know we love you, right?" she asked.
"Of course," Peter said, "Am I in trouble?"
"No, nothing like that!" she said quickly, trying to reassure him. "But something's happened, and we think you should be the first to know."
She took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant. And before you say anything, I want you to know that this doesn't change anything. I may not be your biological mother, but you are still my son, regardless of how you came into my custody. This child won't change that I love you as well, and that you are just as much of my child as this child will be. And I want you to know that nothing is going to change between us, okay?"
He stood up from his desk and hugged her tightly, as she wrapped her arms around him.
"I know," he said, and she smiled in relief. "I really am grateful for everything that you and Steve have done for me. And I know you having a child won't change any of that. But-"
"But?" Steve asked him gently.
"But they'll call you Mom and Dad but I'm still calling you Toni and Steve," he said, and for one of the first times since she adopted him, she could really sense his age. The vulnerability in his voice was one she knew all too well. She'd felt it herself with Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel when she wasn't really sure if she had a place in their home. But it was their constant inclusion and love for her that finally convinced her otherwise.
"Do you want to call us Mom and Dad too?" she asked him softly, not wanting to push too hard.
"I always called Aunt May and Uncle Ben, aunt and uncle because they wanted me to remember my parents. But I barely knew them. I barely even had parents. But at the same time they were still my parents, you know? And I don't want to disrespect that or anything they did for me because I am grateful, but I still wish I could have a Mom and Dad. And the two of you have been parents to me for the last few months and I just-"
"Hey," she told him, "You're not disrespecting you parents by calling Steve and I, Mom and Dad. If I were them, then I'd be happy to know you had people who loved you. You're not disrespecting them. And if you want to call us Mom and Dad, then that's okay with us, alright?"
"Okay," he said with a grin.
Steve looked a bit dazed, but he was the first to recover, pulling Peter into a tight hug, before gesturing an arm to her to join them. She laughed but she joined her husband and son as she felt the warmth spread through her.
Her family.
And soon, there would be one more of them.
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"Are you sure you don't need any more backup?" she asked Steve for the hundredth time. She stood in front of the mirror, putting in an earring, as Steve came behind her, zipping up her fitted black dress.
She had a board meeting in an hour, followed by a speech later in the day at the MIT graduation ceremony, but if Steve needed her, she was sure she could pull a few strings to be there for him,
He pressed a kiss to her neck, wrapping his arms around her and she saw him wearing his Avengers uniform. And Curie help her hormones for she wanted nothing more than to pull him back onto the bed right then and there.
"You're looking forward to this speech," he reminded her, "You've been reading about all their projects for weeks that they've completed, and I know there's a few of them you're scoping out for SI. Besides, it's a stealth mission, so the fewer of us we bring, the better. And with the baby, it's not the worst idea for you to sit this one out."
She sighed, as she placed a hand on her stomach, "I could pilot the suit remotely," she said, without a lot of heart to it. Because he was right. She still had a company to run, and she was in fact, looking forward to her speech. She'd prepared a demo of BARF to show off, to demonstrate just what was possible if the youth of today put their minds to it. Of course, there were a few individuals who weren't all that happy with how she was using the tech, believing there were greater applications than treating those with PTSD.
"I'll see you tonight," he promised her, "We'll be back from Lagos before you even know it."
"You better be," she said warningly, "Otherwise I make no promises that I will not introduce Peter to Star Trek and make him sit through at least one season of it. In fact, I may do just that with him tonight."
Steve laughed at that, as he turned her around gently, kissing her on the lips. "Show the boy mercy. You know nothing will deter him from his love of Star Wars."
"Maybe," she shrugged, "But that doesn't mean I can't culture him and introduce him to new things."
"Captain Stark-Rogers," FRIDAY said then, "The quinjet is on the roof and the Avengers are all set and ready to depart."
"I'll see you tonight, Sweetheart," he promised her, and she pressed a final kiss to his lips.
"Good luck apprehending Rumlow," she told him, knowing that the man who had gotten away from Steve was one of his biggest regrets. Especially after everything he'd done had come to light.
He nodded at her, as he turned and exited their room. She turned back to her reflection in the mirror, carefully applying the bright red lipstick to her lips as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. One month into her pregnancy and it wasn't all that clear yet that she was. They still hadn't told anyone aside from Peter, and while she wasn't quite showing yet, she wondered if the world would be able to tell.
"Toni?" Pepper knocked on her door, "It's time to head out."
She nodded at her friend, as she walked out of her room and towards the elevator to her boardroom. The elevator ride there Pepper prepped her with the latest numbers, and during the walk to the room Toni pulled up semantics of her newest projects that she planned on showing off as projects for the next few quarters.
The meeting dragged on, as they usually did, lasting a total of three hours before they finally decided to wrap it up. And once it was done, she headed towards her helicopter pad as a jet was prepped and ready to take her to MIT for her speech in about an hour. She had a few members of SI with her, including one Quentin Beck. And while he side-eyed her the entire trip, he didn't say anything in particular. Instead, she looked over her notes for her speech, knowing what she wanted to show.
That anything was possible. But the biggest drive, no matter how innovative one was, was for projects that held a personal chord with the innovator. As they arrived at MIT, she was ushered onto the stage by the director of the ceremony, and she watched as each graduate made their way across the stage, revelling in that moment.
And finally, when it was her turn, the lights on the stage dimmed, as she began her demo.
"Wake up, Dear," the projection of her mother's voice said, and her heart stopped. She'd played this scene a few times before, but it never failed to get her. Her mother's voice. It was just as beautiful as she'd remembered. "Say good-bye to your father."
And right on cue, her father came into the room.
"Who's the homeless person on the couch?" her father snarked just as she'd remembered. The coldness in his voice hadn't changed one bit.
"This is why I love coming home for Christmas," Toni said, just as she had that day. That wasn't what she wished she could have changed about this moment . "It's right before you leave town."
"Be nice, Dear," Her mother had coaxed, "She's been studying abroad."
"Really?" her father mocked, "Which broad? What's her name?"
"Margaret," Toni said simply, not caring to rehash her father's many, many, complaints about her lack of propriety.
"Do me a favour and try not to burn the house down before Monday?" Her father mocked her, and despite it being years, she could still feel his words cut into her skin.
"Okay so it's Monday?" she confirmed in a falsely positive voice. "That is good to know, I will plan my toga party accordingly."
She knew the audience was watching raptly, unsure of what was going to happen, but she didn't snap out of the memory. Not when she was as immersed in it as she was.
"Where are you going?" she asked her mother instead.
"Your father is flying us to the Bahamas for a little getaway," her mother said softly, and Toni wished, wished, they'd been able to have made that trip.
"We might have to make a quick stop, at the Pentagon," her father said, and Toni rolled her eyes. He was showing her how important he was in comparison to her.
"Don't worry, you're going to love the holiday menu at the Commissary," she said, knowing fully well they never made it there either.
"You know they say sarcasm is a metric for potential," Howard said, and she rolled her eyes. "In men, anyways."
And once again, he'd reminded her that she wasn't enough. For her gender. For her brain. For anything she was. She wasn't enough.
"I'll get the bags," Howard said, turning to leave the room.
"He does miss you when you're not here," her mother said softly.
"It's time to go, Maria," Howard said, and her mother stood.
"I'll miss you, Bambina," her mother said, and Toni hugged her mother gently.
She looked over at her father, "I know it wasn't you who caused the accident," she said, swallowing. "I know it wasn't your fault. Even if the world thought it was. Even if I thought it was. I wish I could have been enough for you, but I've accepted who I am and found my place in the world. Stark Industries is thriving, even if you didn't think it could under my leadership. Even if I never made you proud, I made myself proud."
She turned to her mother then, not sparing her father another glance. "I love you Mom. I love you and I know I didn't say it enough. I'll miss you," she said, wishing she could have said so much more. Her mother kissed her on the head.
Her parents didn't say anything, leaving the room instead as they had that day, heading towards their deaths. She swallowed, as the lights came back on.
"That was the last time I spoke to my parents," she told the room, "Later that day, HYDRA had them executed. I blamed my father for my mother's death for years, and it broke me. But going back to the memory, it helped me process it. It helped me move on. And I want to help others, soldiers, police officers, those who suffered from abuse, anyone with PTSD, move on from the things that haunt them. A costly endeavour but one that was made to be more financially friendly through our extremely talented engineers."
She looked over the room, "Help me out, what's the MIT mission statement? To generate, disseminate and preserve knowledge. And work with others to bring it to bear on the world's great challenges. Well, you are the others. And, quiet as it's kept the challenges facing you are the greatest mankind's ever known. The greatest motivation for innovation any developer can have stems from personal experience. It stems from what we want to accomplish and our drive to do so. But there's the pesky little factor that people hate talking about involving funding. Most of you are broke."
The room laughed then at the truth of it, because they all were college students after all.
"Or you were," she said, as the room immediately quieted, "Over the last few days, I've read over all your final projects. Every. Last. One. And all of them are genius innovations that will strive to make the world a better place. So every student in this room, every one of you graduating today, will be made recipients of the September Foundation Grant. To make your dreams a little bit more attainable. I truly, truly, look forward to seeing what it is that you have to offer the world."
The room stood then, applauding and she smiled at them all, waving, before she made her way off stage.
She saw Beck standing there, looking unhappy with her, "You know as well as I do that the Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing technology is meant for so much more than just treating those with PTSD!" he said, the moment he saw her, "The fact that you can create such realistic holograms, the applications are endless. And you want to limit the tech I've worked on for the last six months to this? You don't even know how short sighted you're being. Other companies would kill for what I've designed!"
She looked at him coldly. "Are you saying the application of helping those with PTSD is not a worthy one?"
He didn't say anything at that.
"I want to be very clear with you, Mr Beck. You may have helped develop the technology to be market ready, but the prototype and all the designs and technology came from myself, Ava Carter-Sousa, Bruce Banner, and the assistance of Doctor Stephen Strange. You did not design the technology. While I do see your point in other applications, the world is nowhere near ready for anything like that, not yet. I do see future applications, and while we are not limiting other uses, such as providing realistic training scenarios for various fields, such as military, medicine, aviation, and so on, these are all long-term solutions. BARF was designed to help James Buchanan Barnes. And it worked to help with his trauma. Why should the world not get the same benefits?"
"As for your other point, about other companies," she said, looking at him, "You may have forgotten, but you signed a contract when you started at my company. One that promises that if you try and take my tech to a competitor, that we will sue you for all you have. We have filed so many patents on our tech that no company in their right mind would even try to replicate it."
He looked nervous then, "Between your utter lack of empathy for those with trauma, and your sincere disregard for company policy, I see no choice but to relieve you of your position at Stark Industries. I'd say it was a pleasure working with you, but it really hasn't been."
She looked over at Pepper who nodded at her, "Ms Potts, please begin the proceedings to fire Mr Beck, and make sure to provide a detailed explanation, including the current incident in the file."
And with that, she turned her back to the man, and walked off into the hall. She headed towards the elevator, and saw a woman waiting there.
"That was nice, what you did for those young people," she commented, glancing over at Toni.
"They deserve it. Plus, it helps ease my conscience," she said lightly, "Giving to the future what I had so freely of."
"They say there's a correlation between generosity and guilt. But if you've got the money break as many eggs as you like. Right?" she said with a not so friendly smile.
She didn't say anything, instead, looking at the elevator and saw the button wasn't pressed. She pressed it herself, before glancing at the woman.
"You going up?" she asked, carefully.
"I'm right where I want to be," the lady shook her head, before reaching into her purse. She reacted quickly to that, grabbing the older woman's arm, before releasing it once she realized there was no weapon.
"Sorry," she said, still feeling uneasy, "Occupational hazard."
"I work for the State Department," The woman told her, unimpressed. "Human Resources. I know it's boring, but it enabled me to raise a son. I'm very proud of what he grew up to be."
She grabbed a picture out of her purse and shoved it into Toni's chest.
"His name was Charlie Spencer. You must know what it's like, being a mother and all. Your child is the pride and joy of your life. And everything they do, makes you so proud. When he got that humanitarian mission, we were all so excited for him to spend the summer in Sokovia," The woman told her softly and Toni's stomach flopped. "Until the city fell from the sky. It took them three days to ID him and tell us what happened. Three days we didn't know if he was alive or dead. Imagine not knowing what happened to your son for three whole days? Every call set us on edge. Every news report we watched, eyes glued to the screen. But where were you after all of it? Clearing your name? I don't care what you believe the truth to be. You brought the city down from the sky. You murdered my son. Not that it matters in the least to you; you went home and began your media circus to clear yourselves. You think you fight for us. For the people. You just fight for yourself."
She opened her mouth, trying to protest, but she was shut down before she could even start.
"Who's going to avenge my son, Stark?" The woman spat at her, not even bothering to hide her distaste. "If it was your child, you would have demanded justice and he would have been given the justice he deserved. But no one got justice for my son. He's dead and I blame you."
The woman walked away, and she placed a hand to her stomach. Pepper came up to her then, as she struggled not to let herself burst into tears.
"You okay?" Pepper asked her gently, as the elevator chimed then.
"She lost her son in Sokovia," she said, trying to compose herself. "And she made it clear she blames me. And is she wrong? We walked away, relatively unharmed, while so many others did not. And I can't help but wonder, what if it was Peter? If Peter was hurt as some sort of collateral damage? I don't think I'd ever forgive myself for that."
"You can't think that way," Pepper told her. "The investigation cleared you. Yes, people died, but that was on Ultron. Now, stress isn't good for you, or for the baby, so let's get you home, okay?"
She stared at her friend, caught off guard by that.
"You know?" she said, surprised.
"Of course I know," Pepper rolled her eyes, "I was your PA for years. You think I don't notice everything about you? It was my job."
"You are a scary woman, Pepper Potts," she said laughing despite her earlier sadness. And Pepper led her into the elevator where they headed towards the jet to go home.
Later that night, she was curled up with Peter. He'd fallen asleep an hours ago, but he looked so comfortable leaning against her that she didn't have the heart to move him. They'd marathoned Star Trek for a few hours and while Peter refused to concede that it was superior to Star Wars, he admitted that it was enjoyable. And she knew that was the most she was going to get from her son.
The elevator chimed them, as Steve came out of it, looking worse for the wear.
"What happened?" she asked him, as JARVIS immediately paused the television.
He shook his head, instead, lifting up Peter as he carried their son to bed. When he came back, he sat beside her on the couch.
"It didn't' go well," Steve said as he buried his head in his hands. "Rumlow had a bomb strapped to him and set it to explode to take me with him. Pietro tried to race him out of the marketplace but they took out a building instead. There were less casualties than what would have happened if the bomb went off in the market but there were still too many lives lost."
She felt a sinking feeling, remembering Mrs Spencer's words. Who was going to avenge all the lives lost as collateral in their battles?
Who was going to fight for everyone else?
"Pietro didn't have enough training," he sighed, "If he had, he would have known to have gone the opposite direction, towards the city edge. I made a bad call bringing him."
"You did your best," she argued, "Which is what we all try to do. Learn from it. Don't let the mistakes define you but don't discard them. What are you going to do differently next time? What changes can you make? How can you be better?"
"You're right," he sighed, as he pulled her into him. "Of course you are."
"Let's get some rest," she told him gently, "We've both had long days, and I think we could use it."
He didn't argue with her, as they stood and made their way towards their bedroom.
Whatever the next days would bring, they'd face it together. Just like they faced everything else in their lives.
