Nikki

I shouldn't have come alone. I knew that as soon as I got here. I knew this was a dangerous man.

Doing this on my own was foolish. It occurs to me that I'm like the fly in Mary Howitt's poem, 'The spider and the fly', - except this 'spider' didn't tell me I was pretty – he's not nice enough to do that.

No, I'm here for an entirely different reason, but it doesn't change the fact that sense deserted me when I left the Lyell earlier, and as a consequence, I probably won't live to see another sunrise. I thought that when I arrived – and I'm thinking it again now as darkness overtakes me.

Once I voiced my observation that he was wearing gloves and asked him why, the door that had been offering me a safe exit was slammed and firmly sealed.

I knew I wasn't getting out of this one.

He squeezes my throat with increasing pressure – and it hurts. I sink to the floor as I try in vain to escape the hornet's nest I've walked into – my arms struggling hopelessly against the power of my opponent. I feel my will weakening along with my body.

It hurts when I see my best friend's face – the man I care about more than anyone – crying at my funeral. The man who raced through the forest with me earlier in this case. The man who came back for me when I got injured – even though he shouldn't have. The one who fought the gunman to protect me. It hurts when I realise that it was all for nothing now. It hurts.

But what hurts the most is the way Amy – the woman I once mentored and felt I had a bond with – just stands and watches him kill me.

Only at the last moment, when my surroundings are fuzzy and fading to black, does the man on her shoulder shout, and she chooses to save me.

As Amy was taken away by the police for her part in the criminal activities, I thanked her for saving me, because she didn't have to change her mind. A few minutes more and they could have disposed of me and run – got away with it all.

I feel betrayed by someone I saw as a younger sister – someone I felt protective over. I believed our bond went both ways. I thought my 'care' was reciprocated and yet she was almost happy to watch me meet one of the grim ends I've investigated as a pathologist.

I'm shaken up, I feel betrayed by Amy, my neck hurts and my throat is dry and very sore, but I still tell Thomas that I'm 'fine' over the phone and fail to mention that I've just nearly met with death.

Of course, when I get back to the Lyell centre, there is no hiding the truth.

Jack is full swing of an argument with Clarissa over his 'regenerating' from Michelin stars to 'chicken drummers-chez-Jack', when I get back, but if I thought I could 'creep' in unnoticed I was mistaken. I didn't have a scarf with me, so a 'subtle' entry is out of my reach.

"What the hell happened, Nikki" Jack retorts upon me entering with a red, heavily bruised and slightly swollen neck.

I place my forensic case in our office and go into the kitchen, retrieving a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water.

I take a sip, needing to lubricate my throat before I speak and turn around to face my three worried colleagues.

Despite the water, my voice still comes out croaky. "What do you think happened?!"

The horrific sight clearly speaks for itself.

Jack points at my neck. "You told Thomas, you were fine – that is not fine!"

"What did you think you were doing going there on your own, Nikki?" Clarissa presses me "You knew Forsyth was dangerous!"

"Why didn't you tell me on the phone? – and why aren't you in hospital?" Thomas exclaims.

I breathe out and push past them with my glass of water – going into the office I share with Jack – without offering any answers.

I know they're angry – upset – worried, because they care about me, but it's all too much. I have so many different feelings all hitting me at once right now, and I don't want to play twenty questions when I've got a sore throat, but they're waiting for answers and they're getting impatient.

I decide to answer as many questions as I can in one go and take a deep breath.

"I feel stupid and embarrassed for going to the house on my own, when I knew how dangerous he was. I realised it was foolish as soon as I got there. The minute I noticed he was wearing gloves, I knew he didn't intend to let me leave and I saw all your faces crying at my funeral, but he was too strong. I thought us escaping the hit man in the forest was all for nothing." I look directly at Thomas "The paramedics checked me over at the scene and concluded that I didn't need to go to hospital – I just have to drink plenty of hot liquids and keep an eye on it – and I didn't tell you on the phone, because I thought that Jack would probably storm over and kill the man. Anything else?"

"I'll get you a cup of tea." Thomas announces – seeming satisfied with my answers for the moment – but apparently taking on board the paramedics' advice...

'Plenty of hot drinks'.

"My throat hurts" I admit "But do you know what hurts more? – Amy!"

"Amy?" Clarissa repeats "You mean she was there?"

"Yes she was there." I agree. "And something had already happened because she had blood dripping down her face from a cut. He was wearing gloves and he could have been about to do anything to her – which is why" I explain "I didn't leave when Forsyth told me too."

"He was going to let you leave?" Jack queries.

"Yes, he was, but I couldn't bring myself to leave Amy alone with him, so he tried to strangle me instead" I fume, anger suddenly overwhelming the pain in my throat. "He had his hands around my neck and Amy stood there watching, while I was choking. My throat was burning – and she just stood there and watched. Only when I thought my time was up and everything was fading to black, did she start hitting him until she knocked him off me and down the stairs."

Thomas brings me a cup of tea. "Maybe she was in shock." He suggests – whilst Jack and Clarissa seem to have been horrified into silence.

I warm my hands on the mug. "Yeah, maybe" I mutter "but it seemed more like she was 'unsure' of whether to save me or not."

"Where is she now?" Clarissa asks, finding her voice again.

"She's been arrested for her part in the other crimes."

They all looked shocked.

"Arrested?" Jack stammers.

"That's right." I confirm "So you see, if she had just let him get on with it for another few minutes, they could have got away with everything." I drink some tea, which is more soothing on my throat than I expected. "I don't know, I guess I feel betrayed. I thought we had a bond, but she was going to let him kill me right up until it was nearly too late, when her conscience suddenly got the better of her. I thought I meant more to her than just a stab of conscience."

"Hey come here." Jack sighs, holding his arms out.

I stand up and he envelopes me in a warm comforting bear hug. He holds me tightly and it seems to last forever.

My place of safety, away from the hornet's nest.