A/N: I wanted to start off this chapter by saying how devastated I am by the news is about Chadwick Boseman. Black Panther was probably my favourite movie in the entire series, and as a person of colour myself, I loved how they made a movie with people of colour. He was brilliant as King T'Challa, and while I've only seen a few other movies of his, such as 21 Bridges, he was a brilliant actor as well. Rest In Power, and you will not be forgotten.
Chapter 88
James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes blinked his eyes a couple of times as the sensation passed over him. It was a tingling sensation, one he knew the young genius, alongside the wife of his best friend and the ex-girlfriend he'd left behind, had worked together to create in order to remove the trigger words from his head.
How exactly they managed to remove the triggers was a bit beyond him.
A long time ago he had taken Stevie to the Stark Expo. He'd always enjoyed seeing technology around him and was amazed by the things the scientists in the forties were coming up with.
But the modern century? That was a whole other ballpark. And when he looked at either Toni or Shuri's labs, it sometimes felt like he had stepped into one of those science fiction novels that his sister loved to read so much. Everything was so glowy and blue, and honestly whenever Shuri began talking about nanobots going through and rewriting the wiring around his brain, well, he almost always got lost on what she was saying.
He'd asked Steve about it once. Married to a genius and all, Bucky couldn't help but wonder how the man managed to keep up with half the things the genius was saying. It seemed like half the things out of her mouth made no sense, and more often than not, she talked so fast that even if he understood the words she was saying, he had no idea what they meant.
Steve had laughed at it, and said he still had no clue how things worked from time to time, but Toni was a creator. If he wanted to understand her world, he'd need to try and learn. So he listened when she talked, asked questions about the things she said if he didn't understand, and mostly, just enjoyed listening to her talk passionately about something.
He could understand that; Ava's eyes often lit up the same way when she started talking about something she enjoyed. And he swore there was no greater sight than her being excited to show him something.
He felt a pang of sadness, despite knowing why he'd left her behind. She was too good for him. Too whole. And James? Well he was broken, and honestly, he wasn't all that sure there was anything left to repair anymore. Even if he wanted to, he wasn't sure he could endanger her again.
"How are you feeling?" Princess Shuri asked, as she looked at the numbers on her screen, "The last treatment seems to have gone through smoothly."
"My mind feels a bit numb," he said gruffly, as he sat up straighter to look at her screen.
"More than usual?" she asked, as she typed a few things into her screen, "Or the same amount?"
"About the same," he said, "Ever so slightly more than usual."
"The readings show you're in an acceptable range," she said, "From what I can see, Barnes, it looks like the triggers are completely removed."
"But we don't know for sure," he said, refusing to get his hopes up before they did the final test."
"No," she said with a shake of her head, "But we can do that tomorrow. You've done enough for today."
"No," he said, quickly, "Please. I need to know if the triggers have been removed."
She looked pensive at that, and sighed, "Okay. If you want, we can do the tests today. But the Dora Milaje will need to be brought in just in case and you will need to be strapped down."
"Whatever is necessary," he said in complete agreement as she taped her beads and spoke into them.
Not but a few moments later, the room was filled with several Wakandian guards, all armed to the tooth, with their spears pointed at him. They looked warily at him, as if they were unsure of whether he would attack them right there and then or if their princess was in danger or not.
"We'll start by reciting the trigger words," Shuri said, as two of the guards moved to strap him in tightly. He knew the Vibranium metals would be strong enough to hold him down, and he was grateful that if the worst happened, at least he wouldn't be able to move.
"Shall we begin?" she asked him, wanting to make sure he was comfortable.
He closed his eyes.
"Yes."
She cleared her throat, and in Russian, she began to say, "Longing, rusted, seventeen,"
His eyes closed, as he braced himself. His heart rate began to pick up, and he wasn't sure if it was out of anticipation for the worst or because they were doing something to him.
"Daybreak, furnace, nine, benign," she continued to recite.
He struggled to still his breathing, as she moved further down the list.
"Homecoming, one, freight car," she finished, and he opened his eyes.
"Good morning, soldier," she said, as she looked at him intently.
Ready to Comply.
The words he'd said so many times because of those trigger words. The words that signified that Bucky was gone, and that Winter was all that remained. That he was a puppet to do their bidding.
When he opened his mouth, those were not the words that came out.
"It worked," he said, letting out an exhale of relief. "I'm still me."
"You're still you," Shuri said, a bright smile lighting up her face, "Well, Barnes, it seems like you are fully clear of the trigger words and of HYDRA. They no longer will be able to possesses the Winter Soldier nor will you ever turn into him again."
His throat closed, and he felt unable to say anything else. How could he when the burden he'd been carrying for over seventy years was finally lifted from him? He was a free man. He was just Bucky. There was no more Winter Soldier anymore. He would never need to hurt another person because of HYDRA.
He was free.
He looked up at her, unable to form any words, and her eyes softened.
"Are you sure?" he finally made out as he looked at her. Because if for some reason she was wrong. If the words were delayed, or just didn't trigger that instance, he wasn't sure what he would do. He'd had Winter inside of him for so long, so for the HYDRA controlled man to be gone was just…unthinkable.
"I'm sure," she said with a smile, "You, James Buchanan Barnes, have been cleared from all your HYDRA triggers. You no longer will be forced to do what someone else wants you to do. Anything from here on out can be because you wanted to."
"What do I do now?" he asked, unsure of what this would mean.
"Whatever you want," she said with a tilt of her head. "The world is your oyster, as you westerners say. You can go back to New York and stay with your family there. I'm sure they've missed you immensely."
He looked down, "I'm not certain that's the best idea. With everything that happened, I don't know if there's a place for me. I nearly killed Toni and her baby. I injured Steve. And Ava… Well I just don't know if they'd actually want me back there after everything. I might be safe from the triggers, but I still hurt all of them."
"I know they've forgiven you," Shuri told him, carefully, "Toni and Ava did work on this system with me for you. Toni made it abundantly clear several times that she doesn't blame you for what happened in that bunker, and that she was okay after your fight. But with that said, I do understand that you may not want to go back there for a little while longer. If you wish to, you may stay here for a while longer until you mentally feel ready to go back into the world."
He looked at her, "Are you certain?"
"I am," she said with a nod. "My brother will agree as well. You may stay here for as long as you need to. But if I may offer you some advice?"
He nodded for her to continue.
"You spent seventy years as their prisoner. And even after you got free, you spent your life hiding, keeping your head down, and hoping no one would find you," she said slowly. "You spent enough time living the life HYDRA had given you. Now that you're free, you shouldn't let the life you were forced to live dictate the life you have now. As hard as it may seem, you should try and leave that part of you in the past and learn to live in the future. You're still young. What are you, like Thirty? You still have decades in front of you. All these years were stolen from you. Do not let them steal any more of them."
"Okay," he whispered, and she nodded satisfied.
"Now, just because you're a sad broken white boy, I don't want you to think that I will not be putting you to work. Gotta get you back in tip top shape and we can't do that if you're just lounging around, now can we? Plus you gotta earn your keep."
He smiled as she startled prattling on plans of what he could do.
Maybe one day he'd be ready to face Toni and Steve, and Ava, but he needed a bit more time.
Toni laid in her and Steve's bed as she woke up uncharacteristically early. She supposed the fact that Steve had insisted she and the baby get rest at a reasonable hour, as opposed to staying up to all hours of the night working on projects and combined with the fact that her caffeine intake had been non-existent from the moment she found out she was expecting would mean that really, she was capable of waking up before dawn.
Alert the media, really.
Rhodey found it hilarious when she'd complained to him about being up so early all the time and said that it only had taken her a few decades to be able to get up earlier after getting a husband, adopting a son, and having another child on the way.
If anyone told her a decade ago that this would be her life, she wouldn't believe them. Hell, even if they told her five years ago, she would have been stunned.
She smiled as she looked at her husband, still sleeping. He was on his stomach, and his face was turned in her direction.
She reached forward and brushed his hair out of his eyes. Even when she couldn't see them, they added to the warmth of his demeanour, and she loved the sight of them when he met her gaze. She'd never seen such warmth or affection in anyone else's eyes like his seemed to always have when he looked at her.
His hair was getting longer, and she brushed it a few more times, before moving down and cupping his beard clad face.
Ever since everything had gone down with the Accords and Bucky had been left behind in Wakanda, Steve had taken to growing out his hair. He groomed it, alongside his beard, to keep the hair neater, but she couldn't help notice the change in style coincided heavily with the loss of his friend. She knew he was doing better, and the daily reports from Shuri on his progress certainly helped. But Steve hadn't talked to his best friend/brother in months, and she couldn't even bring herself to imagine what it would do to her if she and Rhodey didn't talk for that long. It was bordering on six months since the two had seen each other.
The longest she'd gone was the three months when she was in Afghanistan.
But damn if that beard and hair didn't do things to her.
"What are you thinking about so early in the morning?" Steve murmured in a sleepy voice, as her fingers ran through his hair once more.
"You," she said, and he blinked his eyes. They weren't fully open, but he glanced at her, as sleep filled his eyes.
"Hmm?" he asked, and she was tempted to kiss him and get him to go back to sleep.
"Your hair," she confessed, "And the beard."
"What about it?" he asked, sounding slightly more awake, as he opened his eyes a bit more to meet her gaze.
"I like the way it looks," she said, "With your hair longer like that, and the beard."
"Do tell," he said, sounding fully awake now. He pushed himself up to look at her, and she made no attempt to pretend to stop playing with his hair. Her fingers lingered a bit as she cupped his face to feel his beard on her fingers.
"It makes you look more seasoned," she admitted, "I love you Steve. I love how you look. And I loved how you looked before. But the hair and the beard fit you so beautifully; there's something about how it makes you look. Older, wiser. More manly. I must confess that it does things to me."
Her hormones had been all up and down since she'd gotten pregnant. And despite her mood swings and moments shifting from sadness to happiness, the only thing that hadn't changed, hadn't remotely shifted through the entire ordeal was her desires for her husband. Especially now with the beard and longer hair and the way he styled it backwards.
The way said hair also currently draped over his face without any product in it.
Darwin, did it do things to her.
Mirth filled his face, as he looked at her with a sense of longing as well. He leaned down and captured her lips with his own.
She threw her arms around his neck as she eagerly kissed her husband back. He moved on top of her in a single motion, and she made no attempt to stop him from doing so. Any notion of returning back to sleep was long gone from both of their minds.
"You know, I think we have a few hours before Peter wakes up," Steve said with a grin.
"No run for you then this morning?" she asked teasingly, knowing fully well how much her husband enjoyed getting up and running around the city before a proper hour.
"I can think of other ways to get my workout in this morning," he smirked, "Especially when I have such a gorgeous woman in my bed. My gorgeous wife in my bed."
"If the right winged people who claim I corrupted you could see you now," she laughed, "See that their pure hero is anything but."
"Is that what you really want to talk about right now?" he grinned, "The rest of the world? When I have you beneath me like this?"
"Mm," she groaned, "You're right, there's other stuff we could be doing."
He bent down and kissed her once more, and any thoughts of the world around her swiftly left her mind.
Despite his better judgement, Harry Carter-Sousa had taken his sister's words to heart and asked Nat on a date. They'd been in the middle of a sparring match, and he'd popped the question right before she brought him down and pinned him with her legs. And when she'd asked him to yield, he'd refused until she answered his question, regardless of what that answer was.
Harry had been surprised when his answer had been a yes.
So there they were, the following Friday evening, as he wore civilian clothes for once. A pair of jeans and a button down, as he waited at the base of the Tower for her to show up. They'd decided to meet in the city, and grab a movie, followed by dinner, and honestly words couldn't describe how nervous he was.
He saw her approach him, as her face had a bright smile on it. Her hair was out and while he couldn't see her outfit under her jacket, he wouldn't be surprised if she'd decided to wear her Avengers gear.
"Harry," she greeted, and he grinned at her. "So what movie are we going to watch?"
"Peter was trying to convince me to take you to Rogue One," Harry grinned, "But I thought Assassins Creed would be a better fit."
"A bit on the nose, don't you think?" she asked, as they walked towards the theatre. Despite the fact that Toni had an entire floor dedicated towards streaming movies in her insistence that it was the only proper way to watch films, the two of them had decided to go out on a proper date instead of just hanging around the Tower where anyone could interrupt them on their date.
"I thought it fit," he said, "Unless you want to see a cartoon movie about singing animals? If we watch the Star Wars movie, Peter is going to insist on grilling you after. Toni got an advanced copy for him and his friend and they've been talking about it non-stop."
"Assassins Creed it is," she said, with a grimace. While both of them loved his nephew, neither particularly wanted to get into a discussion on the merits of the new movie with the fan.
"Perfect," he said with a laugh, as they rounded the corner. The two of them weren't drawing much attention, and part of him credited it towards their years of SHIELD training. However most civilians just didn't expect to see Avengers on the street.
He looked over at her, and a sudden sense of nervousness filled him. It had been years since he'd gone on a date with anyone. Years since he'd been out with a civilian. None of them ever truly understood the life he lived, and how could they? Until recently SHIELD was a shadow government group, operating in secrecy.
"I'm not going to bite, you know," Natasha said, glancing over at him, trying to appraise how he felt about the situation.
"I didn't think you were," he said, running his hands through his hair. "I guess it's just been a while, and I've forgotten how to do any of this."
"How about you start by offering me your arm?" she suggested, and he wondered if she was anywhere near as nervous as he was.
He smiled at that, as he reached his arm out to her, and she slid hers through his. He'd seen his mom and dad do the same several times, and no matter how much time had passed, his parents never failed to look less in love with each other.
They approached the theatre then, and as they stood in line to buy tickets, he heard a man holler in their direction.
"Hey Darling, what's a girl like you doing with a man like him?" the man called out.
He turned and saw the man in question snickering with his friends. Natasha tensed up slightly but didn't react, so he followed her lead.
"Come on Doll, don't ignore me now," the man said again, as he started moving towards them, "It's not polite."
"I think you should walk away," Harry said lightly, not wanting to cause a scene. But he knew that the moment the man as much as stepped further in their direction, he'd put a stop to anything before it started.
"I wasn't talking to you, now was I?" the man said, sounding more aggressive now, and while he was physically taller than them both, he knew he wouldn't stand a chance against two operatives.
"You should have listened to my date and gone back to your friends," Natasha said, as she met his eyes. She stood firmly, shoulders squared back, and raised her head.
"Now listen here, Sweetheart. I don't take too kindly to a little lady like you trying to tell me what to do. You're really just a bit of a bitch aren't you?" the man said, and his friends began moving closer to where Harry and Natasha were waiting.
He could see the other line members looking uncomfortable, and a few looked terrified. Security wasn't far away, and he knew that it wouldn't be long before the men were asked to kindly leave the premises.
But then the man put his hand on Natasha's shoulder.
And instantly, everything shifted. She grabbed his hand quickly and pulled it off her, as she locked him onto the ground while holding his arm in a painful position.
"What the fuck!" the man screamed out, as his friends looked stunned, "Let me go you whore!"
"Here's what's going to happen," she said with a smile on her face, "I'm going to release you from this position. Then you and your little friends are going to walk away. You are going to leave the two of us alone."
"Whatever. Just let me go!" he cried out, and swiftly Natasha dropped her grip on him.
The man cursed loudly as he and his friends were escorted off the site by security.
"I'm so sorry about that," the cinema's manager said as she rushed over at the sight of what had happened, "Let us cover the cost of your movie."
He could only nod, as Natasha looked down. The manager handed them their tickets, and wished them a good
"Hey," he said, stopping her, "Are you okay?"
"I just took down that guy" she said, and he could see her mask back up. The one she used when she didn't want the world to know how she was feeling. She was a master spy, an assassin. Feelings and emotions could be liabilities in their field. She didn't want him to know how he felt.
"You did," he said, "And rightfully so. Not a second sooner and I would have done the same."
"And yet I did it," she said, "We went on a date and I took down a guy in front of you. Doesn't that make you feel a bit emasculated?"
"Is that what this is about?" he said with a frown. "That you're worried I'm going to feel like less of a man because you took down a guy in front of me? Natasha, you take me down on a regular basis and I'm still extremely into you. I have no problem with strong women. My entire life I've been surrounded by women who were strong, capable, bad asses."
He took a deep breath, "My mother was terrifying to grow up around. But I respected her more than anyone. You've met Toni. The things she's gone through and done. Honestly I've never met someone as amazing as her. Ava is everything to me took, and you've seen her. I swear her and Toni could probably take over the world if they wanted to. And cousin Sharon packs a mean punch when she wants to."
The mask she was wearing didn't leave her face.
"I wouldn't have asked you out if I was terrified of strong women, Natasha. I asked you out because I like you. Every part of you. The part of you who is kind and compassionate and spent an hour trying to explain world history to Peter the other day. And the part of you who sings in the shows when you think no one is around. The part of you that is more than capable of kicking mine and anyone else's asses if given the chance. I like you Natasha, and I want to date you."
She smiled for the first time, and he knew that he'd managed to say the right thing. Good. Because she deserved to hear the truth of how he felt.
"I like you too," she said, as she slipped her arm back into his.
"I'm glad," he said with a grin. "Now, do you wanna watch this movie and watch other people kick some ass for once, with me?"
"Let's do it," she said, a wide smile filling her face. He got them some popcorn, and the two of them made their way into the theatre.
