AN: Put your hands up if you want to hear what's been going on with Edward. Everyone? Okay, here we go! This is where the 'M' rating starts
My thanks to both MeteorOnAMoonlessNight and Midnight Cougar who've given me their time for this Christmas story
I'm loving the reviews from each of you - seems like none of you like Alec, and everyone is rooting for Edward
Thanks to all those who followed and favorited; I'd love to hear from you, too
Disclaimer: I'll never stop wanting an Edward, even if SM owns the rights to Twilight
Boyfriends of Christmas Past Chapter 10
Summary
A trip back home for the holidays shows Bella everything she didn't know had been missing from her life.
Chapter 10
Edward
Even though I'd been expecting it, when Bella told me about Alec and her job, it felt as if I'd been kicked in the stomach. I knew she was with someone; I'd met him at the tree lot, but somehow my mind had passed over that fact. Confronted with the details, I reasoned that my dislike of the man was because—if I was honest—Bella was with him and not me.
The day had started off well with Bella's call. My heart leaped with excitement knowing she'd contacted me, and asked to spend some time together and catch up. I knew, along with the excitement, there was hope.
It was a calculated gamble, taking her to the house. She was a sharp cookie, and I was pretty sure she'd get the connection. Originally, I'd thought about building on the meadow—our meadow—but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to keep that intact with all its memories. We'd spent hours there, talking about ourselves and planning a future—a future my parents had derailed. I was stupid enough to let myself derail it too, when I hadn't pursued Bella after she'd moved away from Forks. I could have kept in touch, and I'd kicked myself that I hadn't put in the effort.
Her gasp when we arrived told me she recognized it, and showing her around the house I'd built with her in mind was a proud moment for me.
There was another moment in what would be the master bedroom when she took a step toward me, almost inviting me to take her in my arms. Unfortunately for me, she came to her senses and slipped out of the room. The moment was lost.
I stepped outside to my truck to fetch the bag I'd collected from the diner and the blanket I kept on the back seat, and by the time I returned to the house, the atmosphere had eased. Spending time talking about how our lives had gotten to the present was a delicious torture. Every word took her farther away from me until her explanation about her and Alec and her job killed my hope.
Eventually, the texts she was getting from him penetrated our bubble, and it was time for us to part. After dropping her back at her truck at the diner, I returned to the house. The living room was infused with her scent, and although I knew it was slightly sick, I moved my air mattress from the master bedroom so I could sleep with her scent surrounding me.
Being totally honest with myself, a big part of returning to Forks was the hope I could somehow reconnect with Bella, and the disappointment when I realized she lived in L.A. was like a stab through the heart.
Our lives were in totally different places and going in opposite directions. She had someone in her life, and I had to accept that all she could offer was her friendship, and this time, I wasn't going to let that friendship go.
~ oOo ~
I should have called Bella back between that day and New Year's Eve, but I had to regroup and protect my heart.
The day of Mom and Dad's party saw new snowfall, and I had three calls from people who needed urgent repairs to damage caused by the extra snow, so it was ten o'clock before I got back to my parents' house. I took the quickest shower known to man and changed into the suit Mom had hung in my closet.
As I finished dressing, I admitted to myself I'd built the house by the river for Bella and her alone. With regret, I realized if I was ever going to find another path—if that was even possible—it would have to be sold. I'd never be able to live there with anyone else.
I headed downstairs, steeling myself to watch her with Alec, knowing I'd lost her. However, before I could face them, I needed a stiff drink, and headed for Dad's study to find the good stuff. I poured myself three fingers of Maker's Mark and settled into the wing-backed chair beside the fire.
It was there Mom found me. "Sweetheart, what are you doing hiding in here?"
"Hey, Mom. Just downing a little Dutch courage." I lifted the glass.
"Whatever for?" she asked.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "To face Bella knowing it's too late—I've lost her." Mom had always known how I felt about my girl.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, unable to add anything else. I didn't want to see the look of pity I was sure I'd see if I looked at Mom, and closed my eyes.
"Edward, Alec went back to L.A.," she said gently.
I opened my eyes in surprise. "Why would he do that?"
"I have no idea, sweetheart. I didn't think it was my place to ask questions, but I think she's looking for you. Maybe she'll tell you. Now, I think your dad would like your help at the bar, so can you make your way out there, please?"
I stood and swallowed the remaining alcohol. "No problem, Mom."
She hugged me as I passed her in the doorway, and I gave her a nod and a smile, confirming I was okay. I dropped the glass off in the kitchen before heading to the living room. Catching sight of Bella talking to Jess and Mike, I couldn't help my reactions. A bolt of desire shot through me at the sight of her. She'd been pretty in school, but was so much more than pretty now; she was beautiful.
The purple dress she wore contrasted with her pale skin, and the heels she wore made her legs look a million miles long. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to go over and talk to her before Dad called for me to help him.
I kept an eye on Bella, wanting to find a moment to speak to her. Unfortunately, I didn't see Irina Denali sidle up to the bar. Even in school, she was everywhere, touching and spouting innuendos. She was furious when Bella and I became boyfriend and girlfriend, and tried, unsuccessfully, to come between us.
When I moved back to Forks, she renewed her advances, and I'd been cornered by her on a few occasions, and her inappropriate touching had gotten out of hand in recent months. Nonetheless, my parents had brought me up to be a gentleman, so when she took a seat on the other side of the bar, I talked to her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella and Jess walking toward the bar. Our eyes met, warmth arcing between us. Her gaze flicked to Irina, and I saw the look of uncertainty cross Bella's beautiful face. I wanted to tell her not to worry, Irina meant nothing to me, but this wasn't the time or the place for that conversation.
"Hi, Jess, welcome to the party. What can I get you to drink?"
Wanting to speak to Bella, I fixed drinks for Jess and Mike. Before I had the chance to break away, Bella disappeared.
"Hey, Dad, can you take my place, please?"
He finished his conversation with Aro before heading back to me, although by then it was too late to follow Bella. I'd seen Charlie across the room talking to Emmett, so it was likely they'd come together. I stationed myself within sight of the door, waiting for her to return.
"Edward," Irina's fake breathless voice interrupted my thoughts, and her perfume practically suffocated me. She leaned into me, her equally fake breasts brushing against my arm. "Let's get out of here and go to your house. I'm sure we can think of better things to amuse ourselves with than this lame party."
Her fingers slid between the buttons on my shirt, and I shuddered at her touch. Wound up as I was about Bella and Alec, my temper flared.
"Irina," I hissed quietly, "I won't tell you again. I'm not interested in anything you have to offer. Stop chasing after me, stop touching me, stop trying to get me to sleep with you. Get it into your head; I don't want you now and nothing will ever happen between us." I grabbed her arm and marched her to the kitchen. "I want you to get your coat and leave. Don't come back; you're not welcome here, and if you dare try anything again, I'll be telling Tanya about your antics with Tyler. You do know she'll believe me, don't you? She'll never speak to you again."
Irina glared at me, obviously trying to work out if I was serious or not. Whatever she saw on my face made her think twice, and she stomped out of the kitchen. "You're a bastard, Edward Cullen."
I didn't care what she called me, only that she stayed away from me. Vaguely, I heard the sound of the countdown to midnight begin and headed back to the living room, determined this time to find Bella.
~ oOo ~
Bella
I looked around the room, trying to find Dad and Sue. I didn't want to tear him away from having a good time since he never took much time off work, but I just couldn't stay here and watch Edward with Irina. Of all people for him to hook up with, why did it have to be her?
It's your own fault, Bella. If you'd had the courage to call him, he'd know where he stood. He thinks you're with Alec.
My own thoughts were tearing me apart, and I had to get out of this room and find somewhere more private. I could find them later when the countdown was all over.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to calm myself. I swallowed past the lump in my throat, waiting until the almost unbearable need to cry had passed. Calmer now, I blinked my eyes open, looking for the nearest exit.
The sound of his velvety voice, so familiar, so close to my ear, brought me out of my maudlin thoughts. Goosebumps littered my skin and heat traveled over every inch of my body. A chain reaction of sensation ran through my synapses and along my nerve endings. I closed my eyes for a second to take in the smell of his cologne—something woodsy and masculine—before steeling myself to turn around.
Edward was much closer than I expected, and a small gasp escaped from my throat before I could stop it. My tongue slid over my lips, and I could see his eyes flick downward. To his credit, he didn't allow them to linger for long, and I could sense the effort he put in to stop his gaze from traveling lower.
"Edward." To my ears, my voice sounded husky and breathless, and from the look on his face, he heard it, too.
The tips of his ears turned faintly pink, although the slight coloration wouldn't have been noticed unless you were standing as close to him as I was.
"How are you?" I rolled my eyes internally for asking such a daft question
At his low laugh, muscles in my lower belly clenched, and my clit throbbed. I wanted him, there was no question of that, but did he want me the same way?
"Good, you?" His wide grin told me he'd caught the inane question.
I looked over his shoulder, expecting to see her hovering close by. "I thought you'd gone off somewhere with Irina Denali."
I closed my eyes, berating myself internally for revealing my insecurities, but it seemed that around him, my filter was all but missing. I ran my tongue along my lower lip and opened my eyes to find his face close to mine.
"She left. I'm not interested in her, Bella, no matter how much she'd like it to be the truth. I'm not interested in anyone but you." His green eyes twinkling, he slid his hand down my arm and entwined his fingers with mine, squeezing lightly. "What do you say we get out of here and go somewhere quieter to—you know—to talk?"
"I think that's a great idea, but won't your parents be annoyed if you disappear?"
He shook his head. "They'll be okay about it."
I nodded mutely. If we were to ever be 'more' we had to clear the air, and it couldn't be done here. "Just let me tell my dad not to wait for me, or he'll worry."
Edward nodded, letting go of my hand, and we parted company. I felt flushed, although my reflection in the mirror over the fireplace didn't show it. My heart was already tripping over itself at the thought of being alone with him, especially now that Alec was definitely out of the picture.
Absently, I wondered how soon was too soon, and now I could feel the heat in my cheeks.
Dad was talking to Carlisle now that midnight had come and gone, while Sue was on the other side of the room with Carmen. I felt a momentary pang that I hadn't exchanged a kiss with Edward to bring in the New Year, but I'd not even heard the remaining chimes when I was locked in his gaze.
"Bella." Dad turned to me when I tapped him on the shoulder. "Are you feeling okay? You look a little flushed."
I bit my lip at the reason for my blush. "I'm fine, Dad. I wanted to let you and Sue know I'm heading out with Edward, so there's no need for you to cut your evening short."
His eyes narrowed a little, and for a second, I was convinced he could read my mind. Thank goodness people couldn't do that because the carousel of thoughts of Edward and I wrapped up in each other should've been R-rated.
He nodded. "Okay, Bells." He lifted his chin toward the window. "Be careful out there, the snow's pretty deep, and if you need a ride later, let me know."
"Will do, Dad." I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "You be careful, too." I didn't say I'd see him later, and he didn't ask when I'd be home.
I made my way across the room, wiggling my fingers at Jess's beaming face and raised glass. Obviously, she'd seen me with Edward and had guessed where I was going. I didn't bother to find Tyler to say goodbye; it would be too soon if I never saw or spoke to that douche again. Garrett and Kate were in the corner of the room, heads together and oblivious to the rest of the room.
Before anyone could intercept me, I slipped out into the hallway where Edward was leaning against the wall beside the front door, half-hidden in the shadows waiting for me. He'd ditched the suit for jeans, a T-shirt, and a sweater, and he held a leather jacket. He looked sinfully disheveled, and my mouth watered.
I grabbed my jacket from the cloakroom and slipped it on, zipping it up, then wrapping my scarf around my neck. He pulled his jacket and a beanie on, and we left the house. Edward's truck was parked under the canopy, and although the snow was thick out on the drive, there was only a thin sprinkling between the porch and the truck. For now, the snow had ceased, although the sky was heavy with dark clouds, so it looked as if we would get more before morning. Was it so wrong of me to want a blizzard so we could be snowed in?
Edward's truck, being new, warmed up quickly. Neither of us turned on the radio, and no words were spoken, but the silence was comfortable and full of promise. The entrance to his house was not far from his parents' place, and seeing the unblemished snow released the tension I hadn't been aware I was holding inside. It wasn't beyond belief that Irina would ignore Edward's warnings and wait for him at his house.
Idly, I wondered if she'd come to the party with the express intention of leaving with him. The insecure part of me wondered if he would've given her a chance if I'd left town with Alec. I rolled my eyes at myself. I knew Edward better than that; there was no way he'd ever pick her.
Brought out of my thoughts by the silence of the engine as Edward switched it off, I turned my head to see him watching me.
"Are you okay with this, Bella? If it makes you uncomfortable, we can go somewhere else."
In answer, I reached over the central console, my hand palm up. Edward smiled and placed his hand in mine. "It's fine Edward; I'm not afraid of you."
His smile widened into a grin, and he climbed out of the truck, walking around to my side to help me out. My totally inappropriate footwear, which was perfect for downtown L.A., wasn't going to cut it here. The snow was at least ten inches deep, and I looked down at my feet, then the ground. Instead of allowing me to step out, he swept me into his arms. I grabbed him around the neck and squealed in surprise before leaning into his chest and breathing in his scent.
"I'm planning on a garage next to the house with an entrance directly into the basement, but in the meantime, this"—he nodded down at where I was encased in his arms"—is the best way to save your shoes." He carried me up the steps to the front door, refusing to put me down.
"How are you going to open the door now, Edward?"
"It's just as well my house keys are in my jacket pocket now, isn't it?" His answer was accompanied by a cocky grin.
I dug into his pocket, making sure to wiggle my fingers in the lining. His muscles contracted under my touch, and I grinned as I held them up. "Got them."
Leaning away from him, I reached out to unlock the door, pushing down the handle to open it. Warmth bled out into the night, and Edward stepped over the threshold. It felt as if this had happened before, though I knew it had to be my imagination.
His arm slid out from underneath my knees and my feet hit the floor. With my heels on, my eyes were level with his mouth, and I unconsciously licked my lips. My hands refused to unlink from around his neck, and we stood there in the darkened hallway in silence.
Edward cleared his throat and broke the spell that seemed to have fallen over us. "The water's been connected, and there's a new coffee machine set up in the kitchen. I have wine or beer, if you prefer, or I can make coffee."
Reluctantly, I let my hands slide from around his neck and unzipped my coat. "Beer's fine, thanks Edward."
He unzipped his own coat, then took them both to hang in the closet. I wandered farther into the room and through the arch into the living room where we'd had our impromptu picnic. With no light in the room, the view of the river through the window was spectacular. It moved sluggishly along, the edges lined with thick snow, sparkling under the light of the moon. The heavy clouds I'd noticed earlier were closing in, the wind picking up and driving them in this direction.
The air mattress that had been in the bedroom was now to one side of the fire, and the room was dotted with candles and a couple of hurricane lamps.
I could feel Edward's presence in the room before he spoke. "Sorry about the cold; I've been out on call all day and haven't had a chance to light the fire," he murmured, coming to stand beside me. Handing me a bottle of beer, he turned and placed his on the mantel above the fire before kneeling down and adding kindling and some small logs to the glowing ashes in the fireplace.
It wasn't long before he had the flames licking over some larger logs, and the warmth was beginning to radiate through the room.
"The open plan is lovely, Edward, but doesn't it get cold in here without any doors?" I asked.
"It won't once I get the heating connected. I'm using a geothermal system with in-floor heating. The fires are additional direct heating, and besides, I like them."
My eyes drifted to the air mattress, my mind descending into the gutter. Unfortunately, we really needed to talk, and I had to come clean about Alec before anything could happen. I hoped I was reading Edward right.
With the fire now alight and the room warming, Edward lit the hurricane lamps and the candles, casting a warm glow over everything. For the first time this evening, there was an awkward silence.
"Um, I don't—"
"I broke up with Alec," I blurted out at the same time as Edward started to speak.
"You—you did? Why?"
I was caught in Edward's penetrating gaze.
I sank to the floor where Edward was already kneeling. Taking a deep breath, I started to explain. "After I left you, I didn't want to go straight home. We'd had such a lovely afternoon, and Alec kept texting and calling, and I just didn't want to talk to him yet. I felt guilty I'd had such a lovely time with you, and a part of me knew Alec and I were going nowhere."
I looked up at him, the conversation becoming a little easier. "Jess and Mike were in the diner, and when Mike had to leave unexpectedly, it gave me a chance to talk to Jess, or rather for her to talk to me," I said wryly. "She had a few interesting things to say, but the gist was that life was too short to settle."
I sat back and gazed into the flames.
Edward shifted, drawing my attention back to him.
I continued. "As we talked, Jess helped me come to a decision, and that was to break up with Alec. It became clear that I didn't love him, and I'm not sure I ever did."
Edward took my hand. "What happened when you finally spoke to him, Bella?"
I'd been a bit of an emotional mess since that day, suppressing the memories. Now I was forced to relive it, I felt tears gather in the corners of my eyes.
"Hey, Bella, it's okay. Come here."
Kicking off my shoes, I shifted until I was leaning against his body, the nearness of him comforting. "He was so angry, Edward. He's always had a temper, but I've never been afraid of him before. He shouted and screamed at me, then grabbed me."
"Shit, Bella, did he hurt you?"
"He bruised my arms, but Dad came in before anything else could happen. I've never seen my dad draw his gun and point it at someone, but I've never been so happy to see him. He threatened to shoot Alec if he didn't let me go, then forced him to get his stuff and leave."
I exhaled shakily when I'd finished. My hands wound around Edward's neck, and hot tears welled and trailed down my cheeks and onto his clothes.
"Oh, Bella, sweetheart. Don't cry, you're safe now. You're safe with me."
I sobbed into his neck. I cried for my relationship, I cried for all the times I'd been overlooked, been made a fool of, and most of all, I cried for what Edward and I had lost.
"Shh, shh, it'll be all right." He held me, rocked me, and whispered nonsensical words in my ear until his calming influence penetrated my mind and body, and the tears ceased to fall.
I have no idea how long we sat there, but it must have been some time because the fire had died down. The room began to cool as I dozed in his arms.
"Are you okay, Bella? Can you let me up so I can bank up the fire? We can get under the sleeping bags to get warmer, too."
I nodded, and he helped me up. While he built up the fire, I climbed onto the air mattress and under the sleeping bags. I was surrounded by his scent, and closed my eyes, suddenly exhausted. As I drifted, he extinguished the lights one by one until the room was lit only by the fire.
I felt the bed dip, then the covers lifted, and Edward slid under them, enfolding me in his arms. The last words I heard were, "Sleep, my Bella. We have plenty of time to talk in the morning."
~ oOo ~
