AN: A little talk, a little action, and some sleep.
My thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight and Midnight Cougar for coming to the rescue every day. Love you both and wish you the best for 2021, and beyond.
I'm also grateful for every review, follow and favourite.
Disclaimer: SM owns it all and it's definitely not fair she gets to keep Edward.
Boyfriends of Christmas Past Chapter 11
Summary
A trip back home for the holidays shows Bella everything she didn't know had been missing from her life.
Chapter 11
Edward
I listened to Bella's breathing as it evened out, and she slept in my arms. She had no idea how many times I'd wished for this exact scenario, though I would've preferred she hadn't been hurt by that asshole to make it happen. Seeing the impression of his fingers on the pale skin of her arms, hearing how he'd treated her, how he'd frightened her, made me want to find him and beat the fuck out of him.
"Edward… miss… love…"
I'd missed Bella's nocturnal ramblings. Even more intriguing to me was her choice of words, and I couldn't help but wonder if they held the meaning I wanted.
Lying there beside the woman I'd loved since I was sixteen, I was very aware of the problems that still surrounded us. The biggest of these was distance. Bella and her job were based in L.A., and my business was here in Forks. It was true that in flying time we were under three hours apart, but my business was too new to leave with anyone, even if I was in a position to afford to take on an employee. Most of my customers picked me for their repairs and new builds because I was local and hands-on, and I didn't think I'd be able to pass them off to someone else just yet.
I had no idea if Bella would be able to move her base of work, and besides, I didn't even know how she felt about me. It was obvious there was something there between us; I could feel the reaction between us when we touched, but was that enough? Maybe I was getting too far ahead of myself.
Beside me, Bella shifted. Her hand slid across my stomach, and she slid her leg between mine. My breathing faltered for a second, and I took a sharp breath in as her knee connected, my cock stiffening in response.
It was a bad idea to be wearing jeans right now, and I tried to wriggle out from under the constriction of Bella wrapped around me without disturbing her.
"Edward?" Bella's voice was breathy but confused. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Bella. Sleeping in jeans isn't the most comfortable, but it's okay."
"Take them off then, Edward. Your virtue is safe with me." A low giggle accompanied her words.
I rolled off the air mattress and stood, turning away from her for a few seconds. Unzipping my jeans, I dragged them down my legs and kicked them off, discreetly adjusting my cock in the process. Thankfully, the room was dark, so I was pretty sure I'd hidden the effect she had on me.
Willing my erection to go down, I kneeled in front of the fire, poking it into life again and adding a few more logs.
"Come back here, Edward, it's cold."
I took a deep breath and turned to climb back into bed. Bella shifted across the space until she was so close there wasn't an inch between us. I lifted my arm, and she snuggled into the place she'd always occupied all those years ago. Her head was tucked under my chin, the scent of her hair invading my senses.
"Edward?" Bella's voice was so quiet, if it hadn't been for the silence in the room, I wouldn't have heard it. She knew I wasn't yet asleep, so I waited for her to continue. "Do you ever think back to that summer? Before you left?"
"Sometimes. What about it?" My voice was as soft as hers.
"All those nights you climbed in my window; the hours we spent in my bed?"
"I remember, Bella."
She was quiet for such a long time, I thought she'd fallen asleep again. Her hand sliding under the lower edge of my T-shirt sent a shiver through my body. I practically held my breath, wanting her to both move toward me and move away at the same time. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes, and swallowed.
Slowly, I brushed my palm from her shoulder to her elbow, over and over, feeling the soft skin under my hand pebble. Turning my body toward her, I lifted her chin until our eyes met. "I remember, and I'm so sorry." I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for—for not taking that final step all years ago, or for not trying harder to keep our connection alive.
"It's okay, Edward." Bella seemed to understand that maybe the apology was for both.
Her tongue slipped out of her mouth, wetting her lower lip, and her gaze flicked over my face, settling on my lips. With a groan, I closed the space between us and, for the first time in more than nine years, I kissed Bella Swan.
Desire radiated out in ripples from our connected lips, and goosebumps chased down my arms and legs. My hand crept up to cup her face, my fingers stretching around her neck and tangling in her hair at the back of her head. My thumb brushed along the underside of her jaw, feeling more than hearing the whimper from her throat. Her mouth opened under mine, and I took the opportunity to remind myself of her taste. Sweet with a hint of the beer we'd drunk earlier and the midnight champagne before that, and something only defined as Bella herself.
Heat and pleasure sang through my body, and I rolled her under me. Her legs dropped open naturally, and I fitted myself between her thighs, my hips flexing once, then twice more against her center. Her soft moan was music to my ears, setting up a hum of pleasure through my veins. I wanted to touch her skin, and cursed the beautiful dress she wore, which prevented me finding my way inside.
Slanting my head, I claimed her mouth over and over, nipping and sucking at her lips and tongue until my head swam with the need to take a breath. The gentle pressure of my hands encouraged her to bare her neck for my mouth. She was so intoxicating I didn't want to stop, but I reminded myself we had things to discuss and pulled back, my breath fast and uneven, so I could nip and kiss along the curve of her throat and under her ear. I smiled as I remembered how that made her shudder. I felt my lips curve into a smile at the memory, Bella's body quivering under mine.
Each breath pushed her breasts against my chest and my cock throbbed; I wanted nothing more than to be inside her, but I had to be sure where I stood before we took that step. To be sure about what she wanted; I didn't think I'd be able to get over her a second time.
It took a supreme effort to break away and stop the natural progression of my desires. It seemed as if we were on the same page, but I needed to know for certain. Reluctantly, I lifted myself from her warmth and flopped down beside her on my back.
"Fuck," I exclaimed. I rubbed my hands over my face and scraped my fingers through my hair, taking a deep breath to quell the raging feelings inside me.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to—"
I rolled onto my side, catching her eyes with mine. "It's okay, Bella. I want to—believe me, I do—but we need to talk." I smoothed her hair away from her face, its wild curls made a mess of by my hands.
Bella drew in a breath, exhaling into a sigh. Moving away from me, she sat up, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She rested her head on them, her face turned toward me.
I felt the distance form between us immediately. I pulled myself into a mirroring position and tried to organize my thoughts.
"What do we need to talk about, Edward?" she asked defensively.
~ oOo ~
Bella
Feeling Edward's body surrounding me was surreal. It felt as if no time had passed, and I was still seventeen. When he pulled away, the old feelings of rejection hit me hard. Even the words he spoke about wanting me couldn't penetrate the wall that immediately formed between my heart and the man in front of me.
My traitorous body was humming with pleasure, and all I wanted was to lose myself in him. But I felt it happening all over again, and I closed my eyes momentarily to pull my emotions back under control.
"It's been a long time since we were together, Bella," Edward spoke quietly, and though I knew it was the truth, it felt as if he was trying to let me down lightly.
"Nine years and four months to be exact. What are you trying to say, Edward?" I asked bluntly.
"Fuck, Bella." Edward stood swiftly and kneeled in front of the fire again, poking it to life where it had died down. He lit a long taper from the fire and transferred the flame to some of the candles, surrounding us in a warm glow. "Give me a minute, please? I don't want to fuck this up."
When he ran his fingers through his hair and gripped the back of his neck, I recognized his actions. He was nervous and, suddenly, I felt calmer. If he was nervous, then I would need to give him enough space and time to tell me what he was thinking. I owed it to both him and myself.
"It's okay, Edward. Come and sit." I dragged myself back until I could lean against the wall and patted the space beside me.
He sighed and nodded, then settled beside me. "Things have changed a lot in the nine years since we've seen each other," he began. My heart skipped a beat in trepidation, but I didn't interrupt. "We've both grown up since then, and have a career and a business, and live in totally different places. I'm—I'm settled here in Forks; I have my business, and it's finally doing well. You—you're twelve-hundred miles away. You have an awesome career, and a whole life to live."
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "That sounds like a goodbye, Edward."
I looked away and breathed around the sudden threat of tears, trying and failing to blink them away. I felt one and then another make its way down my cheeks and drip onto my dress.
In that moment, I realized something I should've known all along. I was in love with Edward, and I had been all along. I desperately wanted to know how he felt, but I was afraid to ask.
"It's not meant to, Bella. Please don't cry. That's the last thing I want."
"What do you want, then?"
"That's what I'm trying to tell you." He slid his arm around my shoulders and turned my face toward him. "I've always loved you, but it wasn't fair of me to tie you to me when my family was on the brink of moving to Chicago. I wanted you then, and I want you now, but before we go any further, I need to know what you want."
"You want me? You love me?" I echoed his words.
"Yes, I do. Strange as it sounds, part of the reason I moved back here was in the hope you'd be here, or you'd come back, and that somehow we'd find each other again." His green eyes shone with intensity and honesty.
"How are you so sure, Edward? How do you know?"
"I've always known it," he said softly. "You, Bella Swan, are beautiful, brave, kind, caring, loyal, sexy, and sweet. You give me butterflies when you're near me, my heart beats faster when I think about you—which I do more times a day than I can count—my mouth goes dry when I try to speak, and I feel like a bumbling, hormonal seventeen-year-old teenager all the time when I'm in your company."
I was astounded at the passionate words that fell from his mouth. I never dreamed he felt so much for me or saw me that way.
I launched myself into his arms. "Oh, I love you, too, Edward, so much," I blurted out. "I always have, and I want you. God, how I want you."
I wound my arms around his neck and buried my nose in his skin, inhaling deeply and pulling his essence into my body. Edward pulled me tightly into his chest, not an inch between us, providing me with comfort, security and, now that I knew how he felt, love. Since my break-up with Alec, I hadn't realized how much tension I'd held inside and how badly I needed to let everything out.
We were quiet for a while, Edward's hands gently smoothing over my hair repeatedly. Beneath me, where I'd wriggled into his lap, he hardened, though he made no move, and it was only the quickening of his heartbeat that told me he was affected.
With only my panties and his boxers between us, every cell in my body became attuned to that one spot, the spot where his cock had slipped between my folds and was resting against my clit.
Experimentally, I flexed my hips and was rewarded with a rumble from the chest pressed so firmly against me. It was too low to be heard, and only felt because we were so closely entwined.
I gave up resisting, kissing along the curve of the stubbled-covered skin under my lips and nipping the lobe of his ear. He gave a full body shiver, and his lips traced the same path on my skin. Pulling back so I could see his eyes, I swallowed. My eyes flicked from his intense green ones to his lips, and I slowly closed the distance.
The first touch was tentative, and in some ways like a first kiss. Edward's lips had always been soft, but I'd forgotten how they felt under mine. I touched them to his, and tingles radiated from the point of contact. Lips parted, breaths exchanged, then the tip of my tongue swept along his lower lip, and I sucked his upper lip into my mouth.
Despite having made out a few hours ago, this was somehow more, different.
He nipped at my lower lip, his hands sliding down my back to cup my ass and pull me forward, and my clit connected with the tip of his cock. I gasped and my head fell back, my eyes closing as my belly clenched.
Gripping my hips tight, Edward pulled me down against his cock, and I flexed against him, then did it again, each pass rubbing the head of his cock over my cloth-covered clit.
"I want to touch you, Bella."
I nodded. "Please." The word came out in a breathless whisper.
With one hand in the middle of my chest, Edward pushed me back gently until I was lying along his outstretched legs, mine folded underneath me. Sliding his hands under the edge of my dress, which had ridden up to mid-thigh, his fingers found the bare skin above the thigh-highs I wore.
His eyes darkened and he licked his lips. "I like these; very sexy."
I knew he would be able to see evidence of my arousal and how much I was turned on. My eyes drifted closed as the backs of his fingers brushed over my center, and I flexed my hips toward his hand, silently asking for more.
"Patience, Bella."
His long arms reached for the ribbon at the waist of my dress, slowly tugging it free, then pulling the internal tie undone. He pushed the material aside, and I arched my back, offering my body up to him, the sheer lace of my bra doing nothing to hide my hard nipples. Searing heat traveled over my skin in the wake of his hands pushing the lace encasing my breasts up, baring them to the cool room. Fingers and thumbs gripped and rolled them, pulling a strangled moan from the depth of my body.
"Oh God," I whispered.
Fire raced from where his hands rested down to where the heat between my legs was growing stronger. My senses were all centered in three spots; the coil in my belly drawing tighter and tighter.
"Aahh." Forming words was impossible.
An unarticulated sound of protest was forced from my throat as Edward's hands left my breasts, tracing a path back down my body, coming to a halt over my clit.
"Please," I begged. "Please."
The muscles in my thighs began to quiver with tension where my legs had been folded. Struggling, I managed to unfold them, allowing Edward to slide the scrap of wet material down my legs and off, baring my center to his gaze. His finger circled my clit, then slid between my folds and inside me. My breath caught as the tips of his fingers brushed over something inside me, and my hips jerked toward his hand.
A keening sound filled the room as my whole body clenched, a fiery rush of intense sensations rippling outward. I realized the sound was coming from me, but I couldn't seem to control it.
I came back to myself with Edward's hands smoothing up and down my thighs. I covered my face with my hands, unable to stop tears from leaking out and sliding into my hair.
"Fuck, Bella. Did I hurt you?"
"No." I swallowed and breathed out before wiping my fingers under my eyes. "I'm fine, Edward, honestly. Sorry, it was just such an intense release; I've never felt like that before." I held my hands out for him to pull me toward him, my head coming to rest on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to freak you out."
My breathing slowed, and my heart rate returned to normal. I pulled back to see a worried look in his eyes. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I kissed him "Honestly, Edward. Please don't worry, I'm absolutely fine, I promise."
Edward exhaled when he saw the honesty in my eyes and relaxed into me. I smoothed my hands over his forehead, pushing his hair back. His green eyes shone brightly, and I could see the love in them, shining through and holding me captive.
"I love you, Edward."
The smile that formed on his face could have lit the room. "And I you, my Bella."
I became aware of my almost-naked state and slid my dress off, then unclipped my bra and slid it off my arms. Edward watched my movements, his tongue slipping out of his mouth to wet his lower lip.
Getting to my feet, dressed only in my thigh-highs, brought my center level with his mouth. His gaze flicked to where his fingers had been only minutes ago, and a trickle of arousal seeped from inside me.
He slid his hands up the back of my legs from ankle to calf to knee to thigh, and I could feel goosebumps form along the path of his touch. His grip tightened, pulling me toward him, his heated breath hitting my clit. My knees sagged, my hands came to rest on his shoulders, and I shivered.
"Come here."
The gravelly tone of Edward's voice sent a tremor through me, and I sank to my knees between his parted legs as he slid down farther to lay flat. The gray boxers he wore showed the outline of his cock, and my gaze flicked down. It was larger than I remembered, and larger than any of my previous lovers. I reached out involuntarily, stroking from tip to base. A deep groan from Edward broke through my exploration, my gaze flying to his face. His eyes were closed, his lips parted, and his cheeks flushed.
I bit my bottom lip, returning my gaze to the material and flesh hidden beneath it. His stomach muscles clenched as Is touched his skin, and I remembered the exploration and touching we'd done in my bed under the cover of darkness that final summer.
Suddenly, I really wanted to see him, to feel him hard and heavy in my hand. I slid my fingers along the edge of the waistband of his boxers, lifting the material away from his skin. Edward opened his eyes and lifted his hips to help me peel them down and off.
Returning to my exploration, I took hold of his length with both hands, pumping him slowly, feeling the soft skin covering the rock-hard shaft. He was hot and heavy in my hand, the head of his cock a dark red. A bead of pre-cum formed at the tip, and I swiped my thumb over it to collect the liquid.
"Bella." My name arrived on a whisper. "Don't stop," he begged, his hips thrusting slightly as I slid my hand down his length then returned to the top, twisting around the head. "Please, God, don't stop."
There was nothing sexier than a man lost to his pleasure, and watching Edward lose himself under my hands was compelling. Leaning over him, I took the bulbous head into my mouth on the downstroke of my hand, my tongue dipping into the slit to lap up the pre-cum.
"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck."
I redoubled my efforts, sucking him into my mouth hard. He gripped the covers on either side of his body, and I could feel his muscles clench as he held himself in check.
"Let yourself go, Edward."
Taking him back into my mouth, I redoubled my efforts to make him come, swirling my tongue around the head of his cock and sliding my hands down until I could cup his balls. His hips rose on each downstroke, and he moved faster, chasing his release.
When he came, a deep growl rolled through his chest, ending in a roar from his mouth as he tensed every muscle, and his cock pulsed in my mouth. I swallowed every drop, despite it tasting no better than any other, but this was the man I loved, and I loved everything about him.
His hand landed on my shoulder, stilling my mouth, and I let him go with a pop.
"Fucking hell," he breathed.
I crawled up his body until we were face-to-face. "You good?" I asked, grinning.
"Never better."
He pulled me down onto his body and kissed me hard for a second, then softened his touch, brushing my lips, my jaw, my neck with his mouth. I shivered, both from his kisses and with the realization the room was cooling as the fire had died down again.
I lifted my body up and sat beside him, suddenly feeling exposed. Edward smoothed his large hands over my skin.
"You're cold, sweetheart. Why don't you get under these covers while I bank up the fire to warm this place up, okay?"
"Um, do you have anything I can put on, Edward? I feel kind of naked here, and I need to use the bathroom."
Edward slid off the mattress and pulled on his boxers, then tugged his T-shirt off over his head and handed it to me. "There's a few things in my duffel over there." He lifted his chin and pointed to the other side of the room. "Take what you want."
Sliding on his T-shirt, I found myself enveloped in his scent. I pulled the front of the shirt up toward my nose, inhaling deeply, then stood and rolled my thigh-highs down. I looked up to see Edward's eyes fixed on me.
"What?" I grinned. "Like what you see?"
With the fire built up, I couldn't tell for sure, but I thought the tips of his ears had pinked up. He huffed a laugh but didn't take his eyes from me, watching as I walked across the room to his bag. I did swing my hips a little and bent from the waist, giving him a little show. A sharp intake of breath told me I was successful, and I gave myself an internal fist pump.
I found a pair of boxers and a sweatshirt, donning them before making my way out of the living room, past the stairs, through the master bedroom and into the bathroom. I used the facilities and washed up, then headed back to the living room.
By the time I made it back into the living room, Edward had finished with the fire, found another T-shirt, and was already under the cover of the sleeping bags. He slid over to the other side of the bed and opened his arms to me. Swiftly climbing under the covers, I curled up in his arms, sliding my feet down his calves.
"Ahh, your feet are freezing." He gasped, which had me giggling.
"Sorry," I sang. I could feel his grin even though my head was tucked up under his chin.
His hand snuck under the edge of my clothing and smoothed across my back. "Don't worry about it, Bella, I'll make sure you stay warm."
The room had darkened considerably with the setting of the moon. I turned, putting my back to his chest, and I could see the snow was beginning to fall again. The fire popped in the grate, and as my body warmed, I relaxed into Edward's arms. His hand slid under the front of my shirt and splayed across my stomach, tugging me close.
My last impressions before I drifted into sleep were of safety, love, and warmth, and deep in my heart, I knew I was where I needed to be.
~ oOo ~
