a/n: hi all,

Back on schedule! But, we're taking a break from the main thread to take a trip to Point Rock this week; it felt like a good time for a nice little throwback episode to recharge all those Sophie/Kate feels. If I gave chapter's names, I'd call it 'Day One', but I don't so it's just 'Chapter J'.

Cheers, EQT.95


Sophie opened her eyes, taking in the view of the dorm room from an unfamiliar angle. Everything about the space was the exact same as it had always been, except she was looking at it from the other side. Normally the first thing she'd see in the morning was the burrowed form of Kate under her blankets - the very blankets she was now under. Feeling the weight of Kate's arm placed snugly around her waist was the last piece of evidence she needed to prove last night wasn't a dream.

Their conversation had quickly devolved into a heated make out session. She glanced around the room, noting the path of destruction; a memory of being pushed against her dresser was made obvious in the daylight by all of the items on top of it out of their usually pristine alignment. She also noted Kate's desk was half empty with a number of objects strewn about the floor. Sophie couldn't quite recall when, but at some point they had landed on Kate's bed. Kate's hands were expertly navigating Sophie's body, and it was only when they began wandering between her legs that Sophie's self-awareness returned. She froze at Kate's touch, an unexpected discomfort flooding her. For her part, Kate read this and reacted in kind.

"Is it ok if we…"

"Totally, yea," Kate rushed, pulling away. "I shouldn't have… I- I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," Sophie said before falling silent, washed with guilt for ruining the moment. Kate slowly lowered her lips to Sophie's again, taking them into a gentle kiss. It was a different kind of passion, and Sophie was pulled into its tenderness.

"I'm glad you said something," Kate said softly, breaking the kiss.

"Really?" Sophie said, unable to contain her surprise.

A smile broke across Kate's lips, "Why the surprise?"

Sophie stared into Kate's eyes and noted there was a genuine curiosity in them. They were also full of understanding and warmth.

"It's just that you are… I mean, I just - I've never done... it with anyone before," Sophie murmured softly. She felt embarrassed saying it to Kate who was clearly more experienced than her.

"You know that's not something to be ashamed of, right?" Kate asked, adjusting herself to lay next to Sophie on the small bed.

"I… I guess?" Sophie replied, a small scowl furrowing her brow. She glanced at Kate who was smiling back at her. "What?"

"Nothing," Kate replied, shaking her head slightly, but Sophie's gaze didn't waver. "I like you," she admitted after a moment.

"Even though I just ruined the moment?"

"Especially because you ruined the moment," Kate teased back as she wrapped her arm over Sophie, pulling her close. A small smile broke across Sophie's lips. Kate gazed at Sophie's silhouette in the dark, taking in the warmth of her being so near. "And I don't want to do anything… We can take it slow. And if there's ever a point where you want to talk about anything or you feel ready to take the next step… And if it feels like I'm pushing you into anything, tell me - I don't want you to feel pressured."

Sophie turned to look at Kate, her eyes glowing with a protective concern back at her.

"Thank you," she whispered, a surge of comfort and happiness filling her.

"I can hear you thinking," Kate muttered from behind her, breaking Sophie from her thoughts. She felt Kate use her arm to pull closer to Sophie, mimicking the night before and removing the fractional distance between them. The cold sensation of Kate's cold nose resting against her shoulder blade followed by a warm set of soft lips caused a smile to dance across her mouth as she chuckled lightly.

"Sorry about that."

"S'ok," Kate murmured into Sophie's skin. "Just keep it down."

Sophie shifted, rotating to face Kate, a surge of excitement at their proximity filling her. Kate's eyes opened and revealed the same excitement. Being so near to her… everything just felt so right that Sophie wondered how they lasted this many months without it.

"You've been awake for a while," Sophie remarked, noting how wide and aware Kate's eyes were. If there was one thing Sophie had garnered from living across the room all year, it was that Kate was not a quick riser.

Kate shrugged indifferently. "A bit."

It was only then that Sophie left their bubble and noted the amount of sunlight shining into the room. What followed was a small wave of anxiety that shot through her. "Wait, what time is-"

"I, er, I turned off your alarm," Kate admitted, cutting Sophie off.

"You wh-" Sophie opened her mouth to argue but was quickly cut off again by Kate's lips.

"I'm sorry. You've just been so overworked, and you looked so peaceful, and… and I didn't want you to leave," she reasoned, her fingers tightening lightly around Sophie's waist.

Sophie glared into Kate's apologetic face. "That may be the worst argument..." Sophie began but trailed off, her scowl softening into a small smile. Kate was typically logical in her reasoning, but her response wasn't based on that. Sophie knew there was a sentimental side to Kate - she had experienced it a handful of times over the last year - and now it was on display again.

Kate waited for Sophie to decide if she was angry or not. She was quickly given her answer when Sophie leaned forward, letting her lips brush against Kate's.

"You're lucky you're a good kisser," Sophie muttered before pressing them fully against Kate's.

Sophie found herself sliding closer to Kate, their limbs beginning to entangle into each other as they deepened the kiss when a small knock at the door made them freeze.

"Sophie? You in there?"

"Shit," Sophie whispered, suddenly remembering she had abandoned Melvin and company the night prior. She leapt out of the bed in panic.

"Soph, it's fine. It's just Melvin," Kate quickly reasoned, trying to temper Sophie's panicking, but Sophie noted there was a slight edge to Kate's tone at the surprise knock.

"Sophie?" came Melvin's voice through the door.

Sophie reached for the door, opening it partially to greet him.

"Hey, Melvin," she rushed, her breath uncontrolled.

"Sleeping in, I see."

"What?"

"Mattress face. Cute pjs by the way; how come I never get to see those?" Melvin remarked of Sophie's attire of tank top and shorts.

"Er…"

"Feeling better?" he asked casually but with all the concern a fake boyfriend should carry.

"Uh…"

"I told you not to eat the spinach," Melvin continued as though Sophie not knowing her lines wasn't impacting the performance. "Chelsea and James were pretty worried when you bounced, but I told them it was just a stomach thing. Do you want me to get you some broth or anything?"

"Oh, uh, no - no, that's… that's ok. I'm much better now."

"Good, good," Melvin said, leaning back on the balls of his feet. He glanced to his left and right to check that the hall was clear before leaning in with a lowered voice. "Maybe next time, mess up your bed before answering the door," he said, nodding over Sophie's shoulder at her perfectly made bed. "Small details, yea?" He winked. "Tell Kate 'hi' for me."

"I… the couch, uhm," Sophie blushed deeply at this as she watched Melvin back away from the door.

"I think we should play it safe and postpone our hike. I don't want you over-exerting yourself if you aren't one hundred percent," Melvin said at a normal volume.

Sophie mouthed a thank you at him as he nodded back, unable to contain his own smile. "I'll message you later. Get some rest, yea?" He said with another wink.

Sophie quickly closed the door, latching it back in place.

"Did you just try to lie to Melvin?" Kate asked from her bed. She was sitting up, her back against the wall as she listened in on the exchange.

"I panicked," Sophie said, her heart still racing from the surprise visit. "Maybe we should…" she began. The glow of the night before began waning as the reality of what they were doing crashed down on her. "I think-"

"Soph," Kate began cautiously, reading Sophie's face and tone. "It's - it'll be fine. We can take it one thing at a ti-"

"What if we get caught?" Sophie asked, not hearing a word Kate was saying. "That could have been anyone. I've… my parents. Kate, I've - I've never done anything like this… I… if they find out. If anyone finds out..."

"We'll take it slow," Kate said, sliding off the bed to cautiously approach Sophie. She was doing her best to keep her tone level, but there was a small spike of hesitation she couldn't contain. Sophie's worries were warranted; they were the same ones that had kept Kate silent for so many months. It wouldn't surprise Kate if Sophie spiraled herself into abandoning everything, but after last night, Kate knew she didn't want to go back to something less.

"Taking it slow doesn't change the fact if something happens - if… Kate, what if this was a mistake? What if…"

"Soph…" she began, unsure how to temper Sophie's concerns. "I don't want to push you into anything," she said, echoing her words from last night. "And if… I think we can figure it out, but if you aren't sure or-or aren't ready…"

Sophie paused, her face racing with all of the thoughts running through her head.

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Ok."

The words landed harder than Kate expected. She took a step back from Sophie. It wasn't that Kate couldn't wait for Sophie to decide, it was that she was worried she would never be Sophie's choice.

"What do you need from me?" Kate asked, hitting pause on her own internal devastation. "Do you need space, or time, or… or something else?"

"I just wish…" Sophie said, closing her eyes to shut out the voice in her head. She felt her own disappointment growing. It was a disappointment in herself. Her conviction from the night before had collapsed, and every fear and concern that had kept her feelings sidelined for months was creeping back. She saw the hurt her indecision was having on Kate, and it sent her into a second wave of disappointment. The idea of dating another woman required so much more courage than she had to give, and she found herself frustrated that things would be so much easier if Kate weren't Kate.

When she opened her eyes again, Kate was still there, but the distance between them had increased. As she looked into Kate's eyes she noticed they weren't carrying the typical stoicism. Instead there was a fear. Sophie had never known Kate to be afraid, but there it was as clear as day. It was another first.

Somehow she knew one sentence from her was all Kate would need to step back fully and pretend the last twelve hours had never happened, but Sophie wasn't sure she was prepared to do the same. Before she could formulate her thoughts into words, Kate chimed in with a white flag:

"You're probably right. I… it would be a huge risk. If we got caught, or-"

"Kate, no, wait," Sophie interrupted. Kate's mouth closed obediently, watching for a silent moment as Sophie continued her internal monologue until finally: "This is dumb."

Kate hesitated, unsure whether to respond or not.

"This is dumb, right?"

"I… I think I need more context," Kate replied cautiously.

"I'm being dumb."

"I don't think-"

"I want this. A-and you want this."

Kate didn't respond. Instead she watched Sophie curiously, unsure if she was really hearing right.

"Right?" Sophie asked, her eyes turning to Kate.

"I mean, I don't - I can't speak for you, but… but yea, I want this," Kate replied.

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Ok… let's - let's do it."

"Are you sure?"

"No," Sophie admitted. "Honestly, no, I have no idea. I have no idea if this will be the best or worst decision of my - our lives… and - but if you can… I can't even promise this won't be the last time I freak out about it-"

"Which is fine - I… honestly, I was freaking out about it earlier this morning."

"Really?" Sophie asked, almost sighing in sudden relief at Kate's comment.

"Yea, while you were asleep. Soph, there's a lot that could go wrong, but I think if we just take it one day at a time-"

"Right, right, we can take it slow," Sophie reasoned. "But, Kate, are you ok with this?"

"What did I just say?"

"I just mean about it being well, it being a secret. It's not like we can kiss on the quad. And… well, honestly I'm terrified to tell my parents."

Kate smirked. "Soph," she began, breaking the stalemate and closing the space between them. "One day at a time, remember? Besides, if I get you out of it, I think I can live with this being a secret."


"There's practically no hot water in this place," Sophie said, entering the room.

"That's because you shower in the morning when everyone else does. If you showered at nig-"

"Yea, yea, shower at night," Sophie interrupted. "Not all of us are fine-tuned to function without a morning splash."

"That's what coffee…" Kate said, trailing off at the sight of Sophie.

"What?"

"What? Oh, uhm, that's what coffee is for," Kate replied quickly, jolting herself with a shake of her head before averting her gaze back to her phone.

Kate waited for Sophie to turn her attention to the closet before risking another glance over, affording herself the opportunity she'd avoided for the better part of the year. That Sophie returned clad only in a towel was nothing new, but it was the first time Kate didn't feel wrong for stealing a look. Her imagination took hold as she absorbed every detail: how her shoulders lay exposed, how the single piece of fabric sat low enough to reveal her collarbones and sat folded into itself just over her breasts before falling down the length Sophie's body, accentuating her hips and stopping just above her knee; how it was the only layer separating Kate's eyes from the skin beneath. Kate felt a warmth stir inside of her as she imagined sliding her hands beneath the towel, allowing it to drop to the ground to reveal every inch of soft skin under it.

"Kate?"

"Hm?"

"I asked if you were hungry."

"What? Food? I-I can, yea, food," Kate choked. "I could eat."

Sophie stared quizzically back, an amused smile on her face. "You ok?"

"Yea, yep," Kate rushed, jumping up from her seat. "I'll, uh, I'll run to the mess hall - see what I can snag."

"Oh, but if you wait a second I can change an-"

"You're supposed to be sick," Kate reasoned quickly, not trusting herself if Sophie changed in front of her.

"Er… I mean, I just showered… in a public bathroom… where there were other people-"

"Soph."

"Sure, ok," Sophie surrendered, eyeing Kate suspiciously. "But can you grab me a coffee?"

"Yep," Kate replied, suddenly very concentrated on anywhere in the room but Sophie.

"Thanks. With a splash-"

"A splash of milk, got it," she continued knowingly as she grabbed her shoes and, before getting them fully on, scurried out of the room.


"Well, well, well. I'm surprised to see you," came a voice to her left. "Where's your other half? I figured you two would be burrowed away in your own little-"

"Melvin," Kate hissed, glancing around suspiciously as Melvin slid up next to her at the salad bar.

"It's fine, I already checked: no one's listening," he said easily. "Recharging? Food for later? Good call," he continued, teasing as Kate ladled spoonfuls of salad toppings into a takeaway container.

Her cheeks burned with unfamiliar embarrassment at Melvin's words.

"I didn't know you blushed," Melvin remarked, seeing the red glow on her face. "Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to…"

Melvin stared at her expectantly, but Kate remained silent, studying the dozens of salad dressings available to her.

"Are… are you not going to tell me?" Melvin asked, his disappointment clear.

"Nope."

"Really? Not even… not even a teaser trailer?"

Kate finally glanced up, an uncontrollable smile betraying her attempted stoicism. "I feel like you got enough of a teaser this morning."

"Aha! I knew it," he grinned excitedly. They both glanced around to make sure Melvin's enthusiasm didn't draw any unwanted attention before he continued. "So is it like, official? What happened? She just left out of nowhere last night, and… and I had a feeling, but… Kate, I'm so happy right now. I'm being cheated on, and I'm so happy about it," Melvin gushed, his smile nearly wider than Kate's.

Kate shrugged her shoulders, her face falling as she thought about it. "Honestly? I barely remember what happened. I was asleep and - and then there she was just…" she said, trailing off as she returned to the night prior: Sophie's honesty, Kate almost ruining it, Sophie's lips, Kate's hands on her… A smile returned at the memory. "We're still kind of figuring it out… but, yea, I think you could say it's official," she said finally.


"I didn't know what to get-"

"So you got everything?" Sophie smirked back, seeing the boxes of options in Kate's arms as she stumbled into the room.

"Well…"

"Where's the kitchen sink?" Sophie continued teasing as she helped relieve Kate of the food.

"It's still in the lobby."

"Coffee?" Sophie asked, observing not one of the containers was cup-shaped.

"Oh, shit," Kate realized. "I-I'll be right back."

"Don't worry, I'll get it-"

"No, no, you stay. It'll just be a minute," Kate rushed.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Sorry, I just - I ran into Melvin and got distracted. Four minutes, I promise," Kate said, giving Sophie a small peck on the cheek before bolting again.

"You-" Sophie began before the slam of the door cut her off. "... forgot your keys," she finished, shaking her head in amusement.

Seconds later a knock at the door sent her into a chuckle as she grabbed the bunch of metal off of Kate's bed.

"You know," she said, pulling the door open, "if you weren't such a good kisser-Chelsea!"

"Hey Sophie!" Chelsea said. "If I wasn't such a good kisser?"

"Sorry, I - I thought you were, uhm, Melvin," Sophie lied.

"Oh, I just saw him in the mess hall. Did he stop by?" Chelsea asked.

"Uh, yea, he dropped off some food."

"Oh, that boy. He is such a catch. But aren't those Kate's?" Chelsea asked, pointing the set dangling from Sophie's fingers.

"Oh, yea… you're right," Sophie said. "Must've grabbed them by mistake. D-did you need something?"

Chelsea blinked as though only just remembering why she'd knocked. "Yes, oh! Just checking to make sure you're feeling better. You left so quickly last night - we were all super worried. I was annoyed when Melvin didn't go check in on you."

"He… we texted. It was fine. I wasn't exactly in any shape for-"

"But that's what boyfriend's are for," Chelsea reasoned.

"Yea… I'll remember that for the next time I get food poisoning," Sophie tried to joke.


"So, physics?" Kate asked, waving her book in the air.

"Oh, sure, we could do that," Sophie replied with some surprise from the sofa.

"What?" Kate asked, a level of wonderment in her voice at Sophie's lack of immediate agreement.

"I was thinking that maybe today we sort of just… hang out?"

"Hang out?" Kate replied, the idea of just 'hanging out' with Sophie felt foreign. "But won't physics be upset?"

"What?"

"That you're cheating on it," she teased as she collapsed on the couch next to Sophie. "So, tell me, how does Sophie Moore 'hang out'?"

"You ever play backgammon?"


"She's alive," Kate muttered softly as the body laying on her stirred. They were only thirty minutes into the movie when Sophie dozed off. Kate spent the next hour glancing between the screen and Sophie's sleeping form pressed against her, feeling a renewed wave of luck each time she looked down and saw she was really there.

A small sigh came from Sophie as Kate felt her stretching slightly before curling into Kate again.

"Oh, I missed my favorite part," Sophie muttered.

"We can go ba-" Kate began, starting to get up. Instead Sophie's grip tightened around Kate.

"No," she said simply. It was all Kate needed to stay put next to her. "It's fine," Sophie said, smiling up at Kate. "Besides, I'm the one who fell asleep."

"I know. You passed out before we got past the exposition," Kate chastised mockingly.

"Well it's your fault for being so warm," Sophie explained.

"This might be a new record for you," Kate remarked with a chuckle.

"For what?"

"Sleep in a day. You're usually running off what, four hours? You've practically tripled that today."

Sophie gave Kate a small scowl of disagreement. "It's a reliable six."

"If you say so."

"Food?"

"It's like you're a toddler: sleep, food, sleep, food, sl-"

"Don't forget the ten games of backgammon you got creamed in."

"Eight. Plus the first two were practice rounds."

"Nope, I skunked you twice. Those count for double wins each."

"I don't think that's a real rule."

"You calling me a cheater?"

"No, I'm calling me a sore loser," Kate waved dismissively.

They fell silent as the remaining seconds of the movie ran down before the credits rolled.

"What's your favorite part?"

"The pasta scene."

"Huh?"

"When Aaron Eckhart gets the little girl to eat pasta."

"But…"

"But?"

"Catherine isn't in that scene."

"Yes she is."

"Wh-nuh-uh."

"She's at the beginning and end of it. It's the first time her hard exterior breaks. She isn't trying to stay tough. It's sweet. Reminds me of you a bit," Sophie admitted. "Plus, it always makes me hungry for spaghetti."

Kate broke out into laughter at this. "I had the exact same thought. Too bad the mess hall makes trash pasta."

"Hmm," Sophie replied lightly, her tone registering Kate's deflection. They watched the credits in another round of silence - the screen illuminating the dark room.

"Do we need rules?" Sophie asked suddenly.

"What?"

"For this," Sophie began. "I was just thinking, and I guess I don't know what this is, you know? Like, we're roommates, and friends, and dating but not because we can't, but we are… and I've got a… a Melvin."

"A merkin."

"What?"

"It's called a merkin."

"What is?"

"Melvin."

"I don't understand."

Kate laughed. "Men have beards, women have merkins," she explained casually. "He's your fake boyfriend so you can hide your orientation from others."

"I've never heard of a merkin."

"It's probably for the best," Kate grinned back.

"Ok, fine, but it doesn't answer my question," Sophie said, remembering her original train of thought. "How… what is this?"

Kate paused for a moment in thought before continuing. "This is still us, Soph. Except now… now I get to kiss you every morning and cuddle you every night. Now I get to tell you how sexy that grey dress makes you look or that… that the only reason I ever study is so I can be near you."

"How Catherine of you," Sophie remarked lightly at Kate's honesty.

"I wasn't… it's - that's not-"

"But wait… you don't like studying?" Sophie asked, reading Kate's discomfort with a pivot.

"I mean, it's not my favorite thing..." Kate said, glancing down at Sophie to see her grinning mischievously back.

"Even blind monks in Thailand know that."

"Then how come you never said anything?" Kate accused.

"Same reason you didn't," Sophie reasoned. "I liked you being around, too."

Kate grinned back, realizing they'd both been fighting the same feelings for months.

"So the grey dress?" Sophie added lightly.

"Is a keeper," Kate said, her cheeks warming slightly.

"Hm."

"Hm?"

"I didn't realize you… I guess I just didn't realize. I'll have to get the zipper fixed."

"Realize what?"

"That you paid attention to that stuff."

Kate paused, unsure how honest to be. "I-I noticed, Soph. You are… it's… you're hard not to notice."