Chapter 2: His Judgment

"Why...?" Mother asked. My uncle said she insisted on seeing me... and he couldn't refuse the demand of a dying woman.

I was being restrained by two guards on both sides. Once mother... died, they would send me back into my room... this time, door locked from outside and windows blocked.

Jaime wasn't here. My uncle said... he hadn't woken up yet.

"Tell her you're sorry." They told me.

"I'm sorry... I, I only wanted to save you..." I had no hands to wipe my tears, but I kept blinking... I had to see mother's face.

"That's right, carve it in your brain. This's all your fault."

"I... forgive you. So, don't do it again... alright?" Mother slowly raised a hand vaguely in my direction.

"I won't do that anymore! I'll listen, I'll listen..." I wanted to hold her hand, to tell her I didn't mean it to end up like this, but all I saw... was she closing her eyes.

And she never opened them again.

—-

"Is she... with you now?" I asked them.

"..." Once they heard my question, they remained silent for so long that I started to think they sent mother to the Seven Hells just to punish me.

Eventually, they answered in a subdued tone, "She's not with us... we've sent her to a safe place far far away."

"In Heaven?"

"...Yes." They seemed reluctant to tell me more. "Earlier, you said you'll listen. Is that direct to us?"

"Aye. I was wrong... I shouldn't act on my own. From now on, I'll follow your orders." I was sincere in my thoughts. I didn't want to make any mistakes again... to lose anyone I loved.

"That won't repair the damage you did. Your younger brother, the baby you just killed, was to be a great man. Now he'd never born. The future has been drastically altered... do you understand what we're saying?"

I nodded. "Jaime, he... will he ever wake up?"

Silence again. "...We don't know."

"Then what should I do?"

"You're helping if you stop doing anything. Wait."

I waited, sitting on my bed.

They're right... it'll be better if I do nothing. From now on, all I should do is to follow their orders.

My existence has no other meaning.

I had no idea how long had past until they talked to me again. They said, "Jaime will recover."

"Thank you." I lowered my head as if bowing. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Enough. Listen, they've contacted your father, he - he will judge you once he come back."

"Will father put me to death?"

"Unlikely, you're still a Lannister. Tywin knows that you're crazy, he'll either lock you up here forever, or send you to the Silent Sisters."

"Is that what you desire me to be? To serve you?"

"No - not anymore. We need you to play the game under our instructions. You need to appear sane and innocent, here."

"I don't understand." I felt so stupid then.

"Eat well, sleep well. Fix your look first. When Tywin arrived, he needs to think that the accident has cured your madness."

"Accident...?"

"Joanna's death. We all know who's fault that was, but Tywin needs to believe you didn't push her deliberately. Get it?"

"I see... but father, will he believe me?"

"...If you follow our plan, he'll." But they didn't sound confident.

—-

"What do you have to say for yourself." Father said once I was brought in front of him. His eyes were full of disdain and hatred.

My brother was beside him, his head still covered in bandages. In contrast, his gaze was one of fear and confusion.

...I had heard of the accusations he levelled against me through them. Yet it still hurt when I was facing him.

"You know what to do."

"Of course." I lowered my head, my face a picture of confusion, guilt and shame. "Mother... I didn't recognise her that day."

Jaime went red in anger as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Father had to hold his arm to stop him from approaching me. "You tell me that you didn't recognise your own mother?"

"I remembered talking to Jaime, and then it appeared... I didn't know it was mother, all I saw was a red lion trying to devour us. So I - I pushed it off the stairs. It's when it fell... that I saw her as who she was." I told father the lie they prepared for me.

Father was frowning deeply, while Jaime pointed a finger at me, "You're lying! She called out our names, and you let her embrace us!"

"I didn't hear... anything she said... I only saw a red lion growling at us, walking closer and closer! So when it touched me, I had to defend myself!"

"You claimed innocence by delusion," Father stated coldly, "Do you mean to say you've recovered completely?"

"The medicine." They reminded me.

"When I saw mother fell, it was as if some sort of spell broke. Everything cleared up... I promised mother that I'll change. I haven't needed to take the milk of poppy since then, and I haven't seen or heard anything out of ordinary after that."

"But then... why did you tell me mother'd die?" My brother asked.

"The maester told me mother's pregnancy would be dangerous for her... and I thought - "

"He didn't inform me about that," Father turned to order, "Bring him here."

I watched in silence as our measter was dragged into the center of the room. He looked around, not understanding what he did wrong.

"What's your connection to the Reynes?" This was the first thing father asked.

"None, my lord!" He was truly terrified then.

"None? Then why did you poison my daughter? Whispered lies into her ears?" Father glared at him, but surprisingly in his eyes I found no hatred, only a cold condemnation. "Hang him. Contact the Citadel and tell them to send us a new measter."

"No, I didn't do that, my lord! Please believe me!" I could hear his cries all the way when he was pulled outside.

"RIP. Your sacrifice won't be forgotten... are we the bad guys here?"

"Hey, maesters conspired to kill dragons. Plus, don't you remember, we found him with that girl! I bet he's like Pycelle."

They're chatting and joking among themselves like usual. I tuned them all out; my attention was on my own family.

The whole time, my brother was watching the scene unfolded with his mouth half-opened. After we stopped hearing the measter's scream, he looked at me, "Cersei, I'm sorry. I don't know he... he did that to you."

Before I could respond, father said, "You'll have time to talk to your sister later. Go to rest for now, I need to talk to Cersei privately."

If Jaime wanted to protest, he lost the will to do so after I nodded at him, urging him to leave. I looked at his back when he left... in truth, I wanted him to stay, but couldn't.

Because I could feel father's gaze on me the entire time.

Once we're alone, he locked eyes with me. "This was a clumsy and overt attempt at shifting the blame."

"Oh shit."

"Damn, he figured it out! What should we do? WHAT SHOULD WE DO?"

"..." I wasn't too affected by their panic. Father covered it up for me, did he not? He won't punish me, I thought naively.

"Nothing to say, huh? No matter. For the rest of the world, all they would know is the story you made up. You'll stay here until I marry you out... however, Jaime is coming with me."

He just decided to forgive me...

"You're telling him?"

"Absolutely. He'll learn to guard against you... you'll never have the Rock."

"I didn't mean to kill Jaime. Or mother."

"I'll not," The grip he had on my shoulders tightened, "Believe the words of a kinslayer."

"It hurts," I said, but he didn't let go of me.

There, he gave his final judgment.

"You're no longer a daughter of mine."