Chapter 5: Last Pain
He listened to her tale in great concentration. The truth was beyond his wildest imagination. Being able to hear the Voices was not a blessing... but a curse.
He didn't doubt her, not in the slightest. Since a child, he had the tendency to believe in songs and prophecies. This was no different.
If he was any other person, he might focus on how the Voices made her kill her own parents... but Rhaegar grew up in the court of his father, who committed causal cruelty frequently. Instead, he wanted to know the Voices' knowledge of the future.
He was disappointed to learn that the Voices didn't believe him to be the Prince That Was Promised, but he had a bigger concern through listening.
"Are they really the Seven?" He asked once she was finished.
She frowned, her emerald eyes blinking listlessly due to talking nonstop for hours. "Who else could they be...?"
The Voices didn't say a word. They had long since regretted pretending to be her gods, but it was too late to change the narrative now. Surprisingly it wasn't for themselves - they didn't want to shatter her worldview which had been built up.
So, they were nervously watching that exchange.
She suddenly gave a faint smile. "Maybe they're spirits watching this world. It doesn't matter who they are."
If they had hearts, they would have stopped beating at that point.
"If they aren't who they proclaimed, then how could their words be trusted?" He asked.
"Cersei, we're - "
She placed a hand in front of him, "Wait..."
"We're... not your gods, but other than that, we didn't lie to you."
"They said they didn't lie." She repeated to him.
"Then what are they?"
"...You're right, Cersei, we're... spirits... not from this world."
"From another dimension."
"Spirits not from this world, they said."
His eyes darted restlessly while he thought. Could those Voices be trusted? He still couldn't believe he wasn't... No, while he was at it, he would learn what those Voices want him to do.
"What's the importance of the Stark girl?"
They told her somewhat intermittently, not wanting the Prince to pursue Lyanna now that the betrothal was made. She frowned slightly as she listened.
"She's the mother of the Last Hero, or... Azor Ahai? I don't know what that's."
"I know." He was excited; he might not be the Prince That Was Promised, but he could still help produce the saviour of this world! "And the father is... me?"
She shook her head perplexedly. "They're... not sure... you're needed."
"I'm... not needed?" What did that mean, how could it be possible -
They had more to say, however. "They said... you're the top one... percentage... of the realm. The only thing you should do... is to be a good prince."
Disappointed would be a light way to describe Rhaegar's reaction. He was devastated. Seeing him, Cersei asked confusingly, "Is there anything wrong with that?"
"Everything," He almost cried out, "I'm... I'm to be..."
Even with his exaggerated reaction, she didn't cower. She had almost lost all notions of fear. "This's just my thoughts," She clarified, "But isn't that... good? You don't need to force yourself to become things that you aren't."
His fists tightened, "I was born for this. My parents married so they would give birth to the Prince That Was Promised. I must be - "
"They said it's your sister... who's not yet born. Dragons have interchangeable gender, and she's the Princess That Was Promised."
Oh, that's it? He thought, a sister? One that his father always wanted but was denied? A girl who would bring the dragons back -
...If that's the case, there's no point in getting mad towards a little girl, was there?
He looked back at her, defeated, "...Then I'll be a good prince."
"Good, they said." She omitted to mention how they expressed untrust towards his statement. "I think this's good too." She added.
"When we return, remember not to tell anyone else about those Voices. I'll keep it a secret for you... you must be tired, go to sleep, I'll watch the fire."
She nodded. "Good night."
Thought all night, he held his head, thinking. The Voices watched him anxiously. They didn't wish more misfortune to happen on the girl... more than what they had imposed on her, anyway.
To him, he was struggling to rearrange himself. No doubt, it's a painful process; he had been telling himself he was special since... since he first heard the prophecy. To accept that there's no important role prepared for him... that there's no additional meaning to the suffering he believed he had gone through -
Even if the girl beside him had suffered far more than him.
He looked at her, whose breathing was steady and slow. She was surely asleep, he thought. She was chosen, in a way, but that cost her her family and sanity.
And what's the result of that? All so he could hear her tale? So that she could be his betrothed?
Rhaegar... was a man that believed in fate - the idea of a density - for he was a romantic. He romanced the prophecy of the Prince That Was Promised the way other boys romanced knighthood.
To maintain his sanity, he needed a romantic objective to believe in. One he could devote his life to.
Before, it was becoming the hero in the prophecy. And now -
Under the crack ceiling of the ruin of Summerhall, he promised inwardly.
If fate brought us together, then I'll stay with you. If I was commanded to be a good prince, a good king -
- Then that's what I will be.
—-
It's a new life, for both of them.
For him, a new goal in life. For her, she... she was finally allowed to be happy.
What's happiness?
During that period, she was learning... relearning what it meant to be happy.
She kept questioning herself. Have I paid the price for my wrongdoings? Did I have the right to be happy, when I had put both of my parents to death?
Or did my actions - accusing father, telling the Prince the truth - earned me that right?
They're always watching over her, hoping for things to go right. It's hatred and foolishness that drove them to torture her... and now it's guilt and empathy that made them pray for her.
All scars must heal with time. In time, she learned there's happiness when one shared songs and stories; when people were seeing the same beautiful view; when they're holding hands or riding the same horse.
After they returned, Rhaegar had made good on his promise. He had once thrown his life into becoming the prince in the prophecy; now, he needed to pick up what he had neglected.
Namely, the relationship within his family. King Aerys had disliked his firstborn since his childhood; Rhaegar was too bookish, too similar to the father that forced him to wed his sister. Later, that dislike changed into jealousy when Rhaegar picked up the sword.
The poor Queen, she lived an isolated life, her only wish for her children to grow up safely. It was her who faced her brother's madness in the first place, yet her son never stood up for her. He was too absorbed in his world, too apathetic to cruelty to care.
Now, this had to change.
It took efforts and self-revelations. The grievance piled up over the years couldn't be put aside overnight. But, slowly... they could eat on the same table again. Through the express of remorse, a will to reconcile... they gained some resemblance of a family again.
She thought she's happy. They believed she could be happy. All of them forgot...
Forgot it's not just her that they had damaged.
And when one forgets its crimes... discards it, thinking they had paid the price...
This was when all would be taken from them.
—-
She was four-and-ten that year. She was to wed Rhaegar in Baelor, and the King and Queen, young Prince Viserys, and many important nobles would attend.
Including Jaime Lannister.
The crown's relationship with the Rock was strained after Tywin died, and Cersei's betrothal to the Prince was commonly viewed as the crown taking the heir of Casterly Rock hostage. Thankfully, the West didn't rebel.
She was nervous to receive him. To her, it's surprising enough that he's willing to come... he knew what she did. He must wish for my death, she thought.
Yet he was an image of a perfect knight when he appeared.
"Cersei." He kissed her fingers, "You're even more beautiful than I remembered."
There's an air of unfamiliarity between them, yet he acted so gallantly and kind that she slowly relaxed. He talked of Casterly Rock, of the childhood they shared... those were memories so pure, so perfect.
And that's when he pulled a knife on her.
They noticed it before her. "Be careful!" They shouted, and thanked for that, the knife ended up in her left shoulders instead of her heart.
The pain was so intense that she couldn't scream. Strengthless, she moved away from him with heavy steps. "Ahh..." Once she opened her mouth, there's only blood dripping out.
"No! Stop!"
"As expected, you're guarding against me. Your reflex isn't bad... yet it's no use," He closed the distance between them quickly, and pulled the knife out, "I can just give you one more stab easily. Any last words?"
"Jaime! Don't do this. It's not her fault!"
The blood lost made her almost blackout, and her lips and tongue weren't working as intended. But she had to speak. "They'll... see me. You won't... escape."
"Please... we're... we're the ones who..."
She could hear them, begging him to spare her. She almost wanted to smile. It's pointless, he can't hear you, remember?
If you could... you wouldn't talk to me... in the first place...
Her brother's cold voice cut through the darkness. "I don't plan to escape. It'll take a while for them to find out about you, and I still have one more to kill."
It's clear who was needed to complete his revenge. "King..."
"Kingslayer..."
"Aerys has to die, too. He was father's friend, and he betrayed him. Just like you did." He was breathing heavily, the thrill of finally achieving his dream made his blood boiled. "You killed them. YoU KiLLeD tHem!"
He had waited this moment for so long. To kill the sister that betrayed his trust. To kill the twin that uncovered up his mother's death with an exaggerated lie. To kill the other half who framed his father up for a crime he never committed -
"I'm... sorry." She said.
He laughed. "You're sorry! You're sorry when mother died too, weren't you? Uncle Kevan told me you promised her you wouldn't do it again! Your words mean nothing, Cersei. Burn in the Seven Hells."
"No! It's our doing! Our crimes - "
He pierced her heart with one stab.
