a/n: Hi all,

I'll be honest, this summer flashback was only supposed to be a single chapter - two tops - but here we are at the third. I didn't expect it to become anything significant to their relationship, but as I wrote it I realized there's a lot to unpack. This goes against my normal back and forth strategy for the two storylines: typically I cap any throwback set to three chapters, but I'm going to go ahead and finish out this summer bit between Kate and Sophie before I move back to the main timeline. I think it will only be another chapter, but I've thought things before and look where that's gotten us.

As always and always and always, thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for chiming in with all of your reviews.

Cheers,

EQT.95


Kate watched in stunned silence as the bodies unraveled, and the unknown male awkwardly rolled and jumped to his feet, his hands clasping around the edge of his pants as he pulled them into place. His fingers made quick work of fastening them as a look of shock turned into a mischievous grin. Kate felt like she'd been punched in the gut as the image from moments earlier remained cemented in her brain.

"Kate?" came Sophie's voice of surprised recognition. There was a disbelief in the way she said Kate's name. There was also a tone of… relief? Kate's disorientation only increased at the sound of Sophie's voice ringing in her ears.

"Wh… what-" Kate choked out, "what is this?"

"Haven't you heard of privacy?" the guy replied, his breath heavy.

"Sorry?"

"You just nose around places you don't belong?" the guy continued, his voice elevating with a strange hostility.

"Well I would have knocked, but," Kate began, gesturing at the open space.

"You're a smart ass, aren't you?"

"I've been told. And you are…?"

"Nathan - I'm an old friend of Soph's."

It was only then that Kate tore her gaze from Nathan's aggressive face to look over at Sophie for confirmation, but instead she saw Sophie's gaze fixed to the ground, the moonlight reflecting off the tears flowing down her cheeks. Even in the dark she could see Sophie's hands shake uncontrollably as she tried to adjust her shirt, and it was then that Kate noticed a rip in the cloth running from her collar down to expose her skin and bra beneath.

"It's Sophie," Kate corrected slowly, her eyes not leaving Sophie whose shaking could be heard in her deep breathing.

"She doesn't mind, right babe?" he said with a strained grin to Sophie.

"It looks to me like she does."

"Hey, I think you've done enough. I don't know who you are-"

"I'm Kate."

"Whatever. I've never seen you before. I think it's time for you to leave. We were just having a little fun."

"Sophie?" Kate asked. She felt the shock of seeing Sophie under someone else slowly fade and, in its place, a boiling anger as greater clarity of the situation unfolded.

"She's fine. Probably drank too much."

"I didn't ask you, Nate," Kate said, her eyes breaking from Sophie and turning toward Nathan. He was a few inches taller and nearly fifty pounds heavier than Kate. If there wasn't a malevolent way about his smile, he'd be attractive. He was dressed stylishly and had a prep-boy quality about him that made Kate's fingers curl into fists.

"You think I'm lyin'? She was practically begging me for it. Some girls just don't know how-"

A flood of blinding red overcame Kate as she stepped toward him. The space closed quickly, and she felt her arms lift as her hands found his chest, pushing forcefully against him. She watched his smile fall as he stepped back in surprise before one of his own hands came flying forward in retaliation. Kate felt herself sidestep to dodge as she lifted her own fist in response. Her arm flew ahead and stopped only when her closed fingers landed against Nathan's jaw. Before either of them could react, her other fist was soaring up and hit square into his nose.

A cry came out as he brought his hands to his face. "What the fuck?!" he cursed, looking down to see his fingers glistening with blood in the moonlight. "Wh-… you broke my fucking nose. You fucking… you bitch. Do you even know who I am?" he shouted.

"I don't need to."

"You're going to-" he paused, spitting on the ground, "-regret this. I'm go to sue your ass-"

"Go ahead," Kate challenged, stepping closer as adrenaline raged through her. "And then we can talk about how you just sexually assaulted someone. You want to be a tough guy? Just wait until my lawyers are so far up your ass you're begging me t-"

"Your lawyers?" he spat back with a laugh. "That's rich."

"Try me," Kate challenged, stepping toward Nathan again. He faltered, stepping away from her. "What? Not so tough now you pathetic piece of sh-"

"Kate," Sophie said, her voice low but enough to break through Kate's anger. Kate turned to see Sophie was now standing and behind her were a number of nameless party-goers who had left the porch to investigate the shouts. Kate's eyes fell back on Sophie. There was a pleading look in her eyes for Kate to stop, and Kate felt the pulsing in her ears fade.

"Leave it," she whispered softly in embarrassment as she tried covering the tear of her shirt. "Please."


Silence filled the car as they passed down the quiet streets back toward Sophie's house. The rhythm of street lights flashing into the car slowed as the car stopped at a red light. They hadn't shared a word since leaving the party, and Sophie was struggling with the well of emotions hitting her. The details were already fuzzy, and everything was mixing together.

She had arrived at the party. Nathan's parents were out of town. He was already tipsy. He had a drink. She didn't. She wasn't going to stay long. She only came for the distraction. He asked what was wrong. She lied. He had another drink. She didn't. Things changed. They were having fun. She ran into friends. She stayed a while longer. He had another drink. So did her old friends. So did she. He had another. Someone sang karaoke. He started singing karaoke. He sang Don't Stop Believin'. He had another drink. She didn't. He pulled her outside. He wanted to show her a gnome statue he'd found. It was an inside joke from school. It was next to the shed. She expected to laugh at the nostalgia. She-

The car accelerated as the light turned green and pulled her from the thoughts.

Sophie risked a glance at Kate. Her jaw was clenched shut, her eyes were focused on the road, and her hand was wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. Even in the dim street light Sophie could see the skin along her knuckle had split. A wave of frustration swept through her.

It came out of nowhere. She was on the ground. She couldn't think. His hand was over her mouth. His body was on hers. It was heavy. It wasn't caring. Another hand pulled at her shirt. She tried to get away. Her shirt tore. Her mother was going to be so upset. He told her to stay quiet. Another hand was tugging at her pants. His mouth was on her neck. Another hand undid his own pants. He adjusted his weight. She tried to break free. Another hand pinned her down. She felt cool air on her lips. He had run out of hands. She tried to yell. It worked until another hand appeared and capped her mouth. She found her own hands. She scratched at him. He didn't care. Another hand slid between her legs. He touched her. She felt a sob of fear. Another of helplessness. Another of anger. And then… it stopped.

"How did you find me?" Sophie asked, breaking through the deafening silence and her own thoughts.

"Your parents."

Sophie scowled in confusion.

"You left your phone. They called because you hadn't come home," Kate continued, suddenly remembering why she was there in the first place. She pulled Sophie's phone out of her pocket and set it in the middle console.

"I thought it got swiped on the train," Sophie admitted before picking it up. "You drove down from Gotham?"

"Left or right?"

"Wh-? Oh, uhm, left," Sophie answered, realizing they had stopped at a fork in the road. The blinker cut through the returned silence. She stared down at the tiny piece of technology, her thumb running over the familiar keypad.

"I… I'm sorry. About tonight, I don't know…"

"It's fine."

"I just… it all happened so fast and… and I'm sorry."

"Sophie, you didn't do anything wrong."

"But if I had just… I don't know. You drove down, and your hand is all… I'm just so sorry Ka-"

"Would you stop apologizing?" Kate interrupted sharply, her voice raised to a level Sophie had never experienced. "Just…"

Sophie fell into shocked silence as she watched Kate glare through the windshield. They were stopped at another red light.

"Kate, I-"

"What if someone didn't find you? I mean… I-I don't… and he..." Kate started before her voice broke off.

Sophie watched Kate turn her head to look out the driver's side window. It was only when the light turned green that her eyes returned forward, and Sophie saw the watery tears welling in Kate's eyes.

"Kate… I…" Sophie fell silent, her words failing her as she realized Kate wasn't angry with Sophie. Her tone was out of fear. "Turn right up here."

"But I just turned left," Kate replied flatly.

"I know… just - just hang a right."

They remained silent but for a few additional directions from Sophie. After another ten minutes Sophie told Kate to park.

"Where?"

"Side of the street is fine," Sophie said while unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Where are we?" Kate asked, her tone a mix of curiosity and annoyance as she watched Sophie open the car door and exit. "Soph-" but the slam of the car door cut her off.

Kate's head popped up over the top of the car as she exited, feeling a cool summer breeze hit her. She turned toward a sea of darkness in confusion until she realized Gotham was illuminated on the other side. "Is this-?"

"Gotham River? Yea."

Kate watched Sophie walk toward the darkness and the sound of the river.

"Sophie what…?" she called out from the side of the street. She hesitated for a second, glancing up and down the desolate street. She glanced at Sophie who was growing smaller by the second.

"Sophie, wait," Kate called, jogging to catch up. She held out a sweatshirt from her back seat to Sophie who silently accepted it and put it on. They walked in silence for nearly ten minutes, letting the wind, water, and occasional seagull fill the space. Kate observed with a curiosity the skyline beyond.

"I've never seen the river from this side," she spoke finally.

"You're telling me you've travelled to private Greek islands but never once have you jumped the river?"

Kate shook her head, realizing how preposterous it must sound. They fell into another round of silence, letting the sound of the river narrate their walk. Sophie was a few steps ahead, and Kate imagined this wasn't the first night she'd spent walking these same tracks. The path wasn't marked; it was a rocky terrain of mixed sizes. Some were boulders large enough to sit on while others were perfect for rolling an ankle. Kate watched Sophie navigate them all expertly before pausing at a particularly large boulder. She glanced back at Kate before sitting down onto it.

Kate paused, watching Sophie settle, and when Kate realized Sophie had no intention of leaving anytime soon, Kate stepped forward and climbed onto it. She sat down, taking care to maintain a distance between them. The last forty-eight hours weighed heavy on her mind as she struggled to resist her instinctive desire to pull Sophie close and never let her out of her sight again. The events from not even an hour earlier were trapped in her mind, and the sight of seeing Sophie that vulnerable left her both furious and afraid. Furious that anyone could attack Sophie in that way and afraid of what might have happened if fate hadn't let her stumble onto them.

"How was Greece?"

"What?" Kate asked, startled by Sophie's voice and the question.

"Greece; we… I mean, I got a few highlights from… how was it?"

Kate looked at Sophie in disbelief. Of all the topics, she chose the most mundane, pointless one of them all. She nearly said as much when she was also struck with a feeling that that's exactly what Sophie needed.

"Warm. Sunny - so much sun," Kate began, trying to find the words to describe it. "I've never been anywhere that has both the most amazing sunrises and the most stunning sunsets."

Sophie nodded along with Kate's words as she continued to describe the Acropolis, the food, the beaches, and all of the architecture. A few minutes into it, Kate paused briefly, noting that Sophie's gaze was fixed on the city, and she wondered if Sophie was lost in her own thoughts. After a reassuring glance from Sophie, she continued to describe her trip, going into more detail than she realized she remembered.

"And... just the best feta - it was so fresh and had the perfect tang and saltiness."

"Feta?"

"Yea, feta," Kate repeated, noting the slight turn of question in Sophie's head. "The cheese?"

Sophie shook her head, clarifying her unfamiliarity with it.

"You've never had feta?" Kate asked in slight amazement. "It's… wow, I mean, we'll need to change that."

Kate offered a grin of assurance which faded as she watched Sophie's face remain unchanged. Silence fell upon them again as they both concentrated on the city lights across the way.

"Uhm," Kate began cautiously, "so, that Nathan guy… he was your ex?"

Sophie stared blankly back in surprise. "How did you…?"

"Melvin," Kate replied easily. "And Amanda and… Alex? Alice-?"

"Aly."

"Right. We've never really talked about it."

"Right…" Sophie said softly, thinking about all the topics they'd never broached. "He… he wasn't… he's not normally like that..."

"I didn't… Did you love him?" Kate asked, pivoting from her initial thought. Sophie noted a decisive change in Kate's tone. What had started as aggressive shifted to something else. It wasn't accusatory nor did it seem to carry an agenda. It felt like a genuine question, and Sophie stared up at the stars as she pondered it.

"I think… I think I wanted to. At the time it checked all the boxes, and I think that… I thought I was supposed to. But now, a year later, I know I didn't," she answered after a moment. "Honestly I… I don't really know. He had… there was a-a…" she said, trailing off.

Kate turned her head to look at Sophie's silhouette. Her brow was furrowed as she relived the memories.

"I know why we broke up," Sophie said. "It wasn't… he wanted to take the next step, and… I wasn't sure I was ready. Even with all the boxes checked, it just… it was never right. It wasn't even that I wasn't 'ready' so much as I just knew I didn't want it to be with him. My mom was more broken up about it than me when we ended things… he- he wanted… I had studies and college admissions and… and I think if I'm honest I liked the idea of a relationship more than the actual thing. When his hinting for more turned into an ultimatum-"

"An ultimatum?"

"That's not the right word. He… he's not a bad guy," Sophie said, her tone apologetically defensive.

"That's the second time you've defended him," Kate challenged in slight exasperation. "Were we not at the same house tonight? He was…" Kate faded, not wanting to force Sophie to relive earlier that night. "Maybe… maybe you didn't mean it but… you said 'ultimatum', Sophie. I just… he doesn't sound like a good guy."

"It sounds worse than… it's… he gets a certain way when he drinks and…"

"Predatory? Aggressive? Selfish?"

"Kate, don't-"

"What caused you to break up?" Kate pushed, feeling herself lose control of her patience.

Sophie fell silent, staring at the skyline beyond. Kate watched Sophie, sensing she had overstepped.

" He… it was prom. As stereotypical as it sounds..." Sophie began, "and he wanted… he said if we weren't going to... he didn't see a future with us."

"He broke up with you because you wouldn't have sex with him?" Kate asked, stunned by the admission. "That… that's an ultimatum, Soph," she said softly.

Sophie glanced over at Kate who was gazing back at her with a small scowl on her face.

"You don't need to defend him," Kate continued.

"I… I'm not trying to, but I knew I didn't want that and… and he's not a bad guy."

"Fooled me."

"Oh, right, because you're so innocent in all of your extracurricular activities," Sophie shot back.

Kate's face fell, the shock of Sophie's verbal slap leaving her stunned. Kate opened her mouth to respond but failed as she tried to contain her surprise. "I've never pinned someone beneath me against their will," Kate said, her voice elevated. "And that you would…" Kate continued, her surprise turning to hurt. "I…"

She shook her head in disbelief. Instead of finding the words to say, she fell silent, staring out into the dark water rushing past.

"Kate, I- I'm sorry," Sophie rushed, her voice heavy with apology. "I don't know why I- that was such an asshole thing of me to-"

"Do you trust me?" Kate interrupted, her tone edgy with frustration.

"What?" Sophie asked in surprise.

"Do you trust me?"

Sophie's mouth opened to answer before closing again. The events from the last two months were fresh in her mind as she felt herself answer instinctively. "I… I don't know."

Kate closed her eyes, unprepared for how Sophie's words landed.

"I mean, I do, I just-"

"You don't need to explain." Kate said simply, her voice an echo of herself.

"It's… I just mean it's-it's a complicated answer. I trust you for the most part, but sometimes I feel like you aren't actually listening to me. Like this Wayne Tech thing - how am I supposed to trust you if… if you go behind my back?"

Kate sighed in frustration, her ears ringing from Sophie's admission. If she'd let herself sit with it for a moment she'd realize her reaction was irrational, but she didn't let herself do that. Instead, she shifted away from Sophie toward the edge of the rock.

"We should get going," Kate said, letting herself wonder about trivial things like what time it was to take her mind off the disappointment of the conversation.

"Kate, wait."

"You've had a long day. Probably best to just get you home," Kate said, hopping off the rock.

"Kate."

"Sophie."

"I don't… will you just come back here? Can we talk about this?"

"Oh, now you want to talk?" Kate shot back, the hurt in her voice resonating heavily through the night.

"I… yes."

"I think we're past that."

"Kate… please. I- I don't want us to fight, please," she called out to Kate. When she didn't stop, Sophie sighed and trailed after her.


The river was only fifteen minutes out of the way from Sophie's house, but the first five minutes of the drive had already felt like an hour as the tension and silence weighed on Sophie. She stared at her cell phone and nearly jumped when the screen lit up with an incoming call.

"Is it ok if I…?" she asked, glancing at Kate's face fixed on the road ahead. She saw Kate glance and give a short nod before she took a steadying breath and pressed answer.

"Hey mom," she began, her voice heavy with fake happiness. "I-... yea, yes she… well I'm talking to you, aren't I?... Yes, I know, I-... No, we're heading home now… Yea, I'm with Kate… I-I don't think that's-...maybe ten minutes?... ok, I love you, too."

x

"You'll be ok?" Kate asked as she set the car in idle. The remainder of the drive back had been in complete silence, and now that they were in the driveway, there was a strange feeling of finality in the passing seconds.

"Yea."

Kate nodded in acknowledgement, not trusting herself to look at anything but the steering wheel in front of her.

Sophie unclicked the seatbelt, wishing there was a way to undo the last 48 hours. She felt like a juxtaposition: exhausted and simultaneously wide awake, but there was a hazy awareness that each moment that expired was one moment closer to some unstoppable inevitability.

They sat silently for a moment longer, both feeling unfulfilled about the last two days but unsure what or how to broach it. For both there was a hurt that left them quiet, not wanting to accept the vulnerability that came with talking about it.

After another long second, Sophie finally reached for the door handle. She paused for a final second,

"Kate, can we pl-"

A knock on the driver's side window startled both of them. Kate reacted faster than Sophie, rolling down her window to reveal Diane Moore staring back at both of them.

"Hi, you must be Kate."

"Uhm, yes, I… yea."

"Diane Moore, Sophia's mom. Thank you so much for making the trip - I know this had to have been so far out of your way."

"Er, it wasn't a problem. Didn't have plans tonight anyway-"

"No Friday night plans?" Mrs. Moore challenged.

"Uh… none that were important enough they couldn't be postponed. Plus I know Sophie is waiting on a follow-up call from Wayne Tech s-so it… it wasn't a problem."

"Oh, you're exactly like Sophia described you," she continued, nodding toward Sophie who sat petrified in her seat, the passenger-side door sitting half open. "You'll be coming in, yes?"

"Uhm, no Mrs. Moore, I-"

"Diane, please."

"Uh, right. No, sorry. I-I was going to head back to the city, actually."

"You are not planning on driving back at this hour," Mrs. Moore accused, her practiced stare penetrating Kate's demeanor.

"It's not that far, Mrs. M-"

"Diane. And nonsense. You're staying here tonight. I won't have you passing out in the middle of the night behind the wheel."

"No, it's - it's totally fine. I'll grab a coffee on my way-"

"The answer is 'no' young lady. What would your parents say if they knew I just let you drive alone back into the city at this hour?" she challenged.

"Mom…" Sophie muttered in an attempt to deflate the conversation. That Sophie's mom alluded to two parents only made Sophie feel more uncomfortable at the remark. Her mom knew about Kate's mom and sister, but the motherly monologue in her forgot.

"You're right," Kate admitted, surprising Sophie. "But I'll just grab a room at the hotel in town - it'll be just as easy, and I-

"I've already set up a spot in the living room. You'll stay under our roof tonight," Mrs. Moore cut in before trekking back to the house, shutting down any chance of Kate's arguments to the contrary.


"Hey."

"Hi," Kate said, not looking back from the mantle. Her eyes were focused on a framed picture of a cheeky little girl in a bumblebee costume, and Kate couldn't hide the smile of seeing a little Sophie proudly showing off her black and yellow suit. "Cute stripes," Kate remarked.

"Cute pjs," Sophie teased back at Kate's bright pink shorts and yellow t-shirt.

"I can't take credit. My roommate has a unique taste in colors."

"I think you mean 'has colors'," Sophie dismissed. "Just because your wardrobe is every shade of grey and black-"

"Which you also own," Kate cut in. "And yet you still sentenced me to… this." she said, glancing down at the bright colors.

"Diane Moore chose those for you-"

"Well in that case-"

"You're thrilled?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Kate replied dryly with a grin.

A brief moment of ease passed before an awkwardness settled between them. Their banter stalled as they both remembered their conversations from earlier.

"Uhm, so, you… do you have everything you need, or-?"

"Yea, all good. Your mom is… she's very prepared. I've never seen so many toothbrushes. That woman is well stocked when it comes to toiletries."

"Yea, she - she's pretty great," Sophie replied, glancing at the perfectly made-up sheets fit snugly on the couch. A glass of water was set neatly on a coaster on the coffee table. "Well, if that's all, I'll just… I'm gonna head to bed."

"Yep, sounds good. I'll probably bounce before you wake."

"And miss Diane's Saturday morning breakfast?"

Kate resisted the chance to fall into a familiar exchange, instead remaining silent as she let the comment pass. Sophie's face fell as she watched the hesitation on Kate's face.

"Kate, can't we just go b-"

"Good night, Soph."

Sophie paused, her mouth open to argue. They stared each other down, and Sophie was the first to blink.

"Ok then," Sophie nodded, a thousand other words left unsaid as she made the short walk back to her room. Kate watched the light from the bedroom slip away as the door closed shut, and a familiar feeling of dread and regret over her inaction filled her.

She glanced around the empty living room, noting the framed photos mounted on the walls and the small details that made the place a home. There was a sense of warmth to it that Kate only had memories of. Her experience of 'home' now was a curated, modern penthouse filled with surfaces as cold and lifeless as the energy in it. She turned to the couch, smirking at the mismatched pastel floral sheets and handmade quilt that donned the cushions: it was perfect.

She found the lamp switch and, with a flick, found herself flooded in darkness as she navigated toward the sofa, unfolding the blankets and settling into them. As she laid back onto the pillow, she couldn't help but catch the familiar scent of Sophie, and a sadness filled her as she realized what the morning would bring.

x

Kate was on the edge of sleep when the creak of a hinge pulled her awake. She listened closely, half wondering if she had imagined it when the sound of the kitchen faucet confirmed someone was up. She remained still, unsure which Moore was wandering around at this hour. It was another ten minutes before the culprit wandered from the kitchen back down the hall, and Kate immediately identified the familiar silhouette as Sophie. She sat up as Sophie reentered her room, the door slipping shut behind her.

She listened closely and realized the thin wall that the couch sat against separated the living room from Sophie's room. The sound of restlessness could be heard through the stud and drywall, and Kate felt a heightened sense of wanting to protect Sophie. She waited a few minutes longer, hoping the restlessness would calm into sleep, but it never came. She lifted the blankets and made the short trip down the hall, pausing only a moment before twisting the handle.

"Hey," she whispered from the doorway.

"Hi."

"Everything ok?"

The words hung in the air as Kate watched the curled up form of Sophie laying in bed. The lack of response was all the confirmation Kate needed to enter the room, softly closing the door behind her. She walked over to Sophie's bed and sat down on the floor next to it. A few minutes of silence passed between them before Sophie spoke.

"Everytime I close my eyes… I… I don't know."

Kate listened silently, giving Sophie the space to speak.

"Nothing… nothing even actually happened, you know? But… it's… it's like I can still feel him. And when I close my eyes… he's all I can see."

"'Nothing' didn't happen, Soph. It… but you're ok now," Kate said, trying to reassure her.

"I know."

"But that doesn't mean-"

"Yea."

Minutes passed by in silence, and Kate sat, listening closely to hear if Sophie's voice was falling into a familiar rhythm of sleep.

"Thank you," Sophie whispered finally, startling Kate. "I… you were right earlier. If you hadn't been there…"

"It was… that's not something I ever want to be right about. I'm just… I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry about all of it. I just wish you were never… that it never happened."

Kate heard Sophie's hand slide from under the blanket, settling softly on Kate's shoulder. She felt herself tense slightly at the touch before relaxing into it. She slid her own hand onto Sophie's, half expecting her to recoil, but instead she felt a small squeeze of acceptance.

"I'm sorry I pushed tonight. I… I guess… I was surprised you'd defend him after…"

"I know. I… he's not perfect. And… I guess I thought, 'who is?'"

"But… Soph, he-"

"I know. And I've been thinking about it, and I started wondering if that's happened before with- with other women. And if yes… I mean, what if he does it again? To someone else?"

"You're amazing," Kate said softly.

"What?"

"You… you are the most amazing person I've ever met." Kate felt the scowl of confusion coming from Sophie through the dark. "I mean it. You just got attacked by someone… someone you expected would never, and now you're thinking about his impact on others. An hour ago you were defending him when it was just you, but now… now you're more worried about other people."

Sophie didn't respond.

"I'm also sorry about the other night," Kate said, suddenly feeling a swell of regret from the last two days. It was a strange occurrence, but she realized her appreciation for Sophie was not reflected in the last two months and especially not in the last two days. Somehow she was lucky enough to be with someone so undeniably remarkable, and somehow she kept messing it up. "I… that's never how I wanted you to find out."

"You don't need to apologize for that. I should have just asked you, but when Molly and Rachel…" Sophie sighed, afraid to continue. "I got worried."

"Worried?"

"That you… that this wasn't going to be enough for you. I mean, I just didn't realize how much… can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"How many?"

Kate paused, caught off guard. She took a moment and let a small worry about what her response might mean grow in the back of her mind. She glanced at Sophie's unwavering gaze in the dark, and noted it was a face of genuine curiosity.

"Nine," she said finally.

"Nine?"

Kate didn't immediately reply. Instead she risked a glance back at Sophie, weighing the reaction on her face.

"Sorry, I… it's just… it's not a small number."

Kate hesitated to find a response. It's not that she didn't know her number had grown quickly, but it was the first time she'd felt ashamed for it.

"You're right, and if I could do it again, I'd -"

"No, Kate, no. I - I didn't mean you should feel bad or anything. I was… it's just… that's a lot of experience."

A switch went off in Kate's head as she realized what Sophie was implying. She had been so focused on the idea that Sophie was skeptical of Kate's commitment to the relationship, that it hadn't occurred to her that Sophie was also feeling insecure about her lack of experience.

"Is that what this is about?"

"Well it's part of it. I… how do I-? I mean, I don't have any…" Sophie said, fading away into a blush. "I just don't want you to-to…"

Kate's head cocked in surprise as she watched Sophie fumble in her innocence.

"Soph," she began, relieving Sophie from finding the words. "I… I don't care about that."

"That's not what nine precedents have to say about it," Sophie muttered.

"I... ok, let me clarify: I care about sex. I like it. And if we get there, I-I think you'd like it, but I'm not dating you for it or because I expect you to… to be…"

"Experienced? Remotely good?-"

"I was going to say-"

"Competent? Even mildly adequate?-"

"Would you just-"

"I can do this for days," Sophie half-joked. They were all some version of self doubt that had crossed her mind over the last few months as they danced around the conversation of their pasts.

"To be ready," Kate finished. "I'm not dating you because I expected you to be ready for sex."

"What?"

"That first night… I got ahead of myself, and I shouldn't have suggested-"

"It's fine," Sophie interrupted recalling the memory vividly. She often wondered what would have happened if she'd have said nothing.

"No it's not, because… Soph, you aren't just anyone for me. And I know that isn't fair to anyone else I've been with, but it's true. A year ago I-I wasn't looking for anything serious; I wasn't expecting to ever want anything serious. Even last fall, I had no intention of starting a relationship. Everything before that was… it filled my time. They were flings because that's what I expected in relationships. And then I met you, and… Soph, you don't belong in my past. You are… you're the best person I've ever met: you're smart, witty, funny, caring, beautiful... and I want something more with you. I don't want a fling, and I don't want to rush anything. If that goes against what other people expect, that's on them, but I want you the way you are. And that on our first night, I even considered the idea was… it gave the wrong impression."

All of the words Kate didn't have the courage to say the night before suddenly spewed out, and with it came a confidence in those feelings for Sophie. She waited hesitantly as silence followed. After a moment, she heard a rustling as Sophie left her bed to sit on the floor next to her. She felt Sophie's hand find hers and entwine their fingers together before lifting it to her lips and placing a soft kiss on Kate's skin.

"I like you, too," she said simply, resting her head on Kate's shoulder, and Kate couldn't help but let out a small chuckle in relief, noting Sophie was doing the same.