Across the Start Line
Lady Worcester laughed all the fuss about her arrival away, insisted on being "Susan" and took Charlotte's arm as she was shown around the grounds and the activities. "And you have organised all that?" she asked, pointing at the stalls on the lawn in front of Regency Row.
"I had some help," Charlotte said. "But the idea was mine and… most of the organisation as well," she added with a small smile.
"How thrilling! And don't be shy about your achievements, my dear. You can be proud of yourself. Does a certain young man know yet that he is the lucky one to own your heart?"
Charlotte flushed and looked around. Sidney was nowhere to be seen, but mrscampion was standing just a few steps away at the sandwich stall, checking out the vegan options.
"I fear you are mistaken. I'm… he has…" It was difficult to put the disappointments of the last twenty-four hours into words. Susan pressed her hand.
"I'm never wrong when it comes to matters of the heart, Charlotte."
"Even if it were true, there is …" Charlotte realised that she had obviously forgotten how to finish a sentence, at least when it involved Sidney Parker. Susan gave her an indulgent smile.
"Oh, I know all about Mrs Influencer. You only have to pick up one of these glossy magazines, and there she is, in the society news. Well connected, with an advantageous divorce settling, a thriving handbag business and a fashion deal on each finger. I can see why you find her a frustrating rival."
Rival? It was strange to think of herself as a rival to someone like mrscampion. The woman seemed to inhabit a different planet. And yet, Charlotte thought with a sigh, I am the maker of my own misery. I have literally invited her to the open-day via Instagram. Even without the surprise encounter at the party in London, she would be here, clinging to Sidney like wet seaweed and showing a complacent smirk on her face.
"But," Susan said with that happy smile of hers, "she will have a weak spot in her defence. We just need to find it." She stopped and let go of Charlotte's arm before sailing towards the sandwich stall with the happiest smile ever: "Eliza Campion! I have been longing to meet you. I am so fascinated by your beautiful handbags…"
Charlotte sighed. If only she could move as easily in society, put on a happy face when expected and distribute superficialities when required. And if only she understood the workings of Sidney Parker's mind. Or was he so befuddled by mrscampion's presence that his sharp mathematician's brain had stopped working altogether?
She thought of a man who never failed her and decided to pay him a visit.
James was guarding the show apartment on Regency Row, a job he performed with precision and attention to detail, just as it befitted an architect. He said good-bye to a couple of visitors when Charlotte appeared, and he welcomed her with his usual smile. "Looks like your open-day is a success," he said.
"Have you sold any apartments yet?"
"I'm working on it. There's still a problem with the electricity in the show apartment, but I won't let you down."
"You are doing this for Mr Parker, not for me," she reminded him.
"Yes. Of course. Mr Parker. How could I forget."
"I believe after the cricket, all tensions cooled down?" Charlotte asked.
"Now that we have been paid, yes. The question is only: For how long will it last?"
"Oh, come on, James. I'm sure it was only a… momentary situation." At least she was sure that with the start of the summer season only days away, the strains on Mr Parker's cashflow would soon disappear. She moved the conversation to a different topic. "How is your father?"
"Going from bad to worse. I'm grateful for any distraction."
"And the internship in Vancouver?" She walked over to the Venetian windows to have a look across the lawn. Susan was standing by the tombola, chatting with Mary and Diana, Arthur was collecting cupcakes for judgement, and Gigi was manning the duck race, even from afar looking very unhappy with the ducks.
James sighed. "How can I plan half a year abroad when my father is here on his deathbed? – No, it's decided. I'll stay in Sanditon."
"The strange thing is, I find the idea of leaving Sanditon difficult too. Even though it's not been more than six weeks now."
"But you don't have to go, Charlotte." James was by her side now.
"My contract only runs until mid-October."
"But I'm sure Mr Parker will not want to see you leave. So many things can happen until October. You might find another reason to stay."
"Yes, I might." She looked down at the lawn again. Sidney and mrscampion had joined Gigi at the duck race. "But to be honest, I don't think so." James took a step back.
"No?"
"No. And I don't think Mr Parker will need me once the season is over. – Oh. That's my phone ringing." She smiled apologetically at him as she answered the call. It was Edward, telling her that the course he had prepared for the golf cart race was ready. "Thank you, Edward," she said. "I'll come around. – I'm sorry, James. I'll see you at the race?"
"You'll see me winning at the race, Charlotte."
"A revenge for the cricket?"
"A revenge," James confirmed.
She waved him good-bye with her clipboard and happily walked over to the racetrack. Edward was nowhere to be seen, probably already busy showing tee-offs to potential new members.
Four golf carts were parked at the entrance to the course, guarded by a herring gull sitting on the roof of one of them. Charlotte shied the bird away and started checking out the security equipment. As golf carts were not strictly made for racing, the contestants had to wear helmets plus protection for their elbows. And goggles, of course, but for a different reason.
Charlotte turned around when she caught a movement in the corner of her eye. It was Sidney Parker, standing a few steps away and dubiously eyeing the carts. "It's still some time until the race," she said, ignoring the question of where he had left mrscampion. "I'm letting all competitors know."
She expected him to leave and return to his lady friend, but he remained where he was. "And what do you think, Miss Heywood? Do I look ready to you?"
Ready for what? she thought. Driving a blind golf cart race? Departing on a lifelong holiday with mrscampion?
"I'm no expert," she said.
"Neither am I." He certainly did look more concerned than usual– but whether that was about the prospect of taking part in a golf-cart race, the general state of the world, his absent companion or something completely different, Charlotte could not tell. "This is the first time I am driving a golf cart in years," he said. "Used to do it to supplement my pocket money when I was a teenager."
"I'm sure it will come back to you," Charlotte said, trying not to think of Sidney Parker as a teenager. Surely, half of the female teenage population of Sanditon had been in love with him. Or his good looks.
He was staring thoughtfully at the neat white carts.
"A man cannot buy the same car twice," he said. "Have you heard that?" Charlotte frowned and thought for a moment.
"I think that's a misquote."
"Is it?"
"Yes. The original is by Heraclitus. A man cannot step into the same river twice, for he is not the same man and it is not the same river."
"I assume that means at least one of us was paying attention during philosophy classes." Sidney gave her a crooked smile. He shied the herring gull away that had settled down again on the roof of the cart next to him, and climbed into the driver's seat. "Come on," he added before she could correct his assumption, patting on the passenger seat.
"What?" Charlotte asked, dumbfounded. Sidney smiled that bloody smile that made him look boyish and her knees go all wobbly.
"I need you as my co-pilot. I understand that I am to drive a blind race and that it is you who has placed me in this predicament. I believe the least thing you can do is help me practice, Miss Heywood." So the Miss-Heywood-Mr-Parker nonsense still was not over. It was just another one of his tactics to keep people at arm's length. Especially when there was no arm's length available, like in a golf cart. She climbed into the passenger seat and handed him the equipment from behind: the blackout goggles, the helmet, and the arm protections.
"You have to put on the arm protections first," she explained, doing it herself. "Then the goggles and the helmet."
"I see you have planned everything, Miss Heywood," he said just before his eyes vanished behind the goggles. Now that he was blind, she could stare at him as much as she liked. Or at least stare at his hands on the steering wheel, as there was not that much to see of his face. His hands were just as handsome as the rest of him. So much for being in love with his good looks.
He fumbled for the key. "So the idea is that you give me directions on where to drive?"
"Yes. That's the challenge. Though in real life it will be your brother, of course."
"I see. That's a bit mean, isn't it?"
"No," Charlotte said. "It's going to be fun. At least for the spectators."
"Yes. I was afraid of something like that." Nevertheless, he started the cart and dutifully drove forward until she told him to turn right and he took the corner too late and stuck the cart in a wall of sandbags.
"That's the fun part," Charlotte explained. He sighed. With the helmet and the blackened goggles, he looked more like a giant insect than like Sidney Parker. After a few moments of staring ahead of him in, he turned his head to face her, his eyes still blinded.
"Miss Heywood." His voice was changed now, deeper, more serious. "I have been meaning to say… earlier… – I suppose you were surprised to… meet Eliza here."
"Why should I be surprised," Charlotte said as nonchalantly as possible yet grateful that she did not have to meet his gaze. "I invited her on Instagram."
"Right. Still… I believe it's different to meet someone in person than online." Correct. The online version of mrscampion was definitely preferable since she did not cling to Sidney like wet seaweed or made him behave like a nincompoop. But Charlotte understood that in his weird Sidney-Parker-way, he was trying to apologise for snubbing her, and she decided to help him move forward.
"I think I told you on a previous occasion how hard I find it to make people out, Mr Parker."
"Yes." His smile was half-hidden by the helmet and the clasp. "In fact, you did."
"But maybe it's even more difficult to make oneself out. And maybe those difficulties make us occasionally act in a way that we later come to regret." He thought about that for a moment.
"Did anyone in particular provoke that idea?" he finally asked.
"Yes."
"And do you think you can forgive that person for… being such a fool at times?"
"I think I can."
"Thank you, Miss Heywood. You are very generous to me." And I'm probably a fool myself, Charlotte thought, for allowing you to butter me up time and again. She sighed.
"Shall we go on?"
Sidney nodded and started the golf cart again. They managed to get out of the sandbag wall and, following Charlotte's directions, he navigated the cart around another corner. He stopped and took off his helmet, handing her the goggles.
"Move over. Your turn."
"What?"
"I have to find out whether I'm better at driving or giving directions. – You told me to get more involved in the hotel. So here I am, driving a blind golf cart race for my brother. But only if you support me." Charlotte could not help but laugh, and as he was laughing too, there suddenly was an easiness around them, a lightness she had last sensed on the dancefloor of the Regency Excelsior Hotel. He walked around the cart, and she moved over to the driver's seat.
It took her a few moments to arrange the goggles' band and the helmet over her long hair, and even though she could not see it, she was acutely aware of Sidney Parker watching her.
"May I ask you something, Miss Heywood?" he said, his tone more serious now.
"Of course."
There was a moment's pause. Again, and even though she could not see him, she felt Sidney's gaze on her. "Why, when I finally have a chance at happiness, can I not accept the fact?" There was a sadness in his voice that stirred Charlotte's heart.
"What is it you cannot accept?" she asked into the black void around her.
"I had convinced myself that I was destined to remain alone." He sighed. "That I was ill-suited for a relationship."
"I … I don't believe anyone is ill-suited for a relationship." It was definitely easier to say these words without having to meet his eye. And what a sad thing it was to believe oneself ill-suited for a relationship. "I suppose it's a question of compatibility."
"Suppose you're right," he said after a moment. And after another moment: "Come on then. Let's get us out of this trap we have fallen into. – Do you trust me?"
"I trust you," Charlotte said, and that was entirely true.
"Then let's start." She started the cart. "Go ahead – careful… good… turn right now …" They moved forward quite successfully until, inevitably, the cart landed in the sandbag wall again, rather forcefully this time, and Charlotte found herself bumping into her co-pilot.
It was a soft landing. Sidney Parker's chest was a surprisingly comfortable place to be. "Careful," he said very close to her ear. "Your hair is somehow… entangled." She felt his arm coming around her shoulders, holding her right where she was, close to his chest, while his free hand loosened strands of her hair before carefully taking off her helmet.
"Better?" he asked. Charlotte nodded, still blinded by the goggles, unable and unwilling to move, and in any case unable to speak.
She heard him fumble with the clasp of his helmet and drop it behind him. Then he cautiously removed her goggles. She blinked, adapting to the sudden sunlight. His face was right above hers, his dark eyes gently gazing down on her. She took it all in: the short dark curls, the stubble of beard, his full lips, half-opened, and his eyes – oh, those wonderful, wonderful eyes, so hard at times and yet so soft right now. So soft, as if he wanted her to read in them, and what she read was - - -
"Sidney!" someone cried, screeching like a fire alarm.
