Yall, re:zero is a fucking nightmare. I genuinely find myself wondering how much he can take before completely snapping. This is from a person who only found episode 15 to be interestingly chilly
written at 5 am. no beta, so read at your own risk.
Might stay a oneshot. Currently Emilia's pov but might change it if I continue. After all, I'm appalled at how few re:zero fics there are
In hindsight, one of the first red flags Emilia noticed, as minor as it was, happened only a few days after Subaru arrived at the mansion.
The newest member of the Roswaal camp had been quite energetic yesterday, zooming back and forth with zeal and spouting off strange phrases she was sure were idioms of some sort from his homeland. It was almost childish, and admittedly a bit amusing. At least until he collapsed from exhausting his gate.
It was strange how much he struggled when he had a viable reason to take it easy, but she gave him the bocco fruit anyway when he forced himself to sit up.
She could tell something was very wrong, though she only really confided her mild unease to Puck. Of course, what he told her only made her more concerned.
The inside and outside… seem all jumbled up and confused. He'd said. This might be troublesome.
Unfortunately, that same energy from yesterday was clearly becoming something more frenetic as the day went on. In the glimpses she got of him throughout the mansion, there was something oddly strained about his enthusiasm. Puck was right.
"Now, now, Lia, your forehead's all wrinkly. Stress is bad for you."
"Oh hush. I'm just thinking."
"About?" he asked, playfully floating upside down.
Emilia sighed and she watched him hover around. "Don't feign confusion, you already know."
"Mmhm. You wanna know how you can help?"
She stared at the ground, twiddling her fingers and mumbling, "He only asked for my name. I still feel like I owe him a lot, even if he says I don't. It feels like he's getting the short end of the stick and seeing a boy like him pushing himself to the point of so much discomfort is…"
"Something you don't enjoy?" finished Puck.
"Yes. Do you think I could cheer him up somehow?" asked Emilia, face faintly scrunched in thought. "What does Subaru like?"
For a second Puck seemed as if he were going to answer, but a large yawn took over instead. "Sorry, Lia. Looks like it's time for me to go. "
"Puck! You're just going to leave?"
"You're my daughter. I believe in your judgement. Plus, he already told you, right?" And with that, he faded away and went to sleep. Goodness.
Wait, Subaru actually did mention something like that before zipping off somewhere, didn't he? Something about a lap pillow?
Her cheeks pinked and she shook her head. Alright, she might as well give it a try, but first she actually had to find him. That was one inconvenient thing about living in such a large mansion, if she had to name any complaints.
Roaming the halls, she checked a few probable rooms he might've been in. The bath, the kitchen, the clothing room, but she couldn't seem to find him despite it all until she heard the clicking of heels down the hallway. A glint of blue hair disappeared around the corner and Emilia's pace picked up to an indoor running speed.
"Rem! Have you seen Subaru anywhere?"
An oddly guarded look flashed across the maid's face at the mention of his name, but it was gone as soon as Emilia blinked. A trick of the light?
"Coincidentally, I have. Last I saw, he was speeding down the hall in this direction," Rem flatly said while pointing to her left.
Emilia began to turn as she responded, "Thank you! I should be going n-"
"May I ask why?"
"Eh?"
"May I ask why?"
"Ah, that wasn't… oh, it's alright. I just want to tell him something. He's making me worried."
"He should," she quickly whispered under her breath
"What?"
"Nothing. Just be careful."
Emilia once again resumed walking down the hall, before she partially turned her head back to meet Rem's eyes.
"Rem?"
"Yes?"
"I trust Subaru enough to know he doesn't mean harm."
She gave her a long, measuring stare before saying, "Yes, Emilia."
It was somewhat dim inside, as it wasn't dark enough to warrant turning the lights on in the halls but less of it reached in to illuminate her path. A bright light from an open door was sure to catch her attention and she drew close like a moth to a lamp.
What sounded like retching reached her ears and she halted.
Was he ill? No, it couldn't be; she had checked him out while healing him earlier and there was no sign of it. Was it... could it be from stress?
A marginal furrowing of her brow was the only visible change in her demeanor as she walked forward with a renewed resolve, the soft, rhythmic tapping of shoes on carpet barely warning Subaru of her presence as she stopped beside the bathroom door. He was too busy quietly talking to himself to notice someone right out of sight.
He stepped out, rubbing off some stray water droplets on his face.
"Subaru."
He almost flinched. She could see the mask slip right on.
"Emilia-tan!"
"Subaru," she repeated. "Come with me."
"What? A personal invitation straight from Emilia-tan? Wow, things are moving so fast, how amazing! How joyous!" he exclaimed, striking dramatic poses with each phrase.
His eyes looked exhausted, and so did the rest of him even as he continued to spout.
"Quite embarrassing, if I do say so mysel-"
"Listen."
"Aw come on," he plowed on, apparently determined to keep the act going. "Emilia-tan would never be so cold! Are you some sort of imposter? But an imposter would never be able to compare to well to-"
Emilia put on a firmer tone. "You heard me, come on, let's go," she ordered, cutting him off and pulling a confused Subaru into the nearest room.
"Sit here."
"On the floor?"
"Just sit."
"Okay! With pleasure, ma'am!" he declared, jumping forward and taking the spot.
Finally relaxing her stern demeanor, she smiled and dropped down beside him. He stared on in confusion.
"Just once, okay?" she said, gently hooking her hand on his side.
He seemed to have proposed it almost as a joke in the beginning, but the complete lack of resistance as she pulled his head into her lap was still odd, like he hadn't even considered the possibility of this happening. It was a bit endearing.
They threw around a few questions and answers as she covered his eyes (it was still embarrassing, after all) and pet his hair.
Every soft word of comfort seemed to crack his mask further and further. She could hear his responses becoming more and more wobbly, barely holding up the pretense of casual banter until she leaned forward and quietly, she said-
"It's been rough, hasn't it?"
That made him break.
She watched as his shaky smile finally slid off his face. She could feel his tears dripping onto her thighs, beading up and rolling onto the ground in streams. She listened as he sobbed, spilled his thoughts, and wore himself down to exhaustion.
She held his hand in her gentle grip as he drifted into sleep.
Subaru's hands were very soft and smooth, not roughened by physical labor or age, but it wouldn't fool her into thinking he wasn't a hard worker.
It was easy to lose track of time after the sun set, and she couldn't tell how long they stayed right there until Rem stumbled upon the duo and walked up to them, surveying the situation.
"He looks like a child, doesn't he?" Emilia commented with a smile.
Rem remained more passive. "Somewhat, but he does look like he can't do anymore work today."
"What a bad boy, taking time off on his second day," she said, lightly pinching his cheek. He shifted a bit in his sleep. "When he wakes up later, you can discipline him."
"I almost don't want to, seeing him right now."
Emilia smiled, and Rem's eyes softened. She turned to leave. "I will inform my sister that he'll be useless the rest of today."
"Rem. Subaru's a good person."
When Subaru first woke up, he had rubbed at his face confusedly. It seemed like he took a while to process what had happened, but couldn't find it in herself to be annoyed with his groggy, uncomprehending face, so she just sat there until realization smacked him in the face and he turned red up to his eartips.
Very quickly, he worked himself into a panic and dashed out the door. When Emilia got up to look, it almost appeared as if he'd disappeared.
She let out a good-natured sigh.
Today was quite the unusual day, the second after the fiasco with the insignia. For some reason, things seem to happen whenever Subaru's around. But regardless of that, it was time to get ready for bed.
Well, the normal time for that had already passed, but she was willing to go to bed a little later than normal if she could help someone out.
A hop, skip, and a jump away found Emilia walking into a bathroom. It was there that she noticed something wrong. A small, deep red smudge was smeared onto where Subaru had been resting his head. She didn't remember seeing any cuts on his face. Just several pale streaks across his stomach when his shirt hitched up and a few faded bruises she'd swear hadn't been there before.
If you're wondering where subaru vanished to, he went to go monologue about his embarrassment to Beako
