4 am, 4 am, give it up for 4 am.

It's been a while. I didn't have any particular ideas for the earlier s2 deaths so we're immediately jumping to the good stuff, I suppose. The main downside is that the only death left after this in cour 1 might be more difficult to properly portray without the second cour, and I'd prefer for the anime to catch up before that.

Once s2 is done I might switch to something lighter if I'm motivated enough but tbh I'll probably be drawing more by then, so...?


Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain.

Subaru had never experienced something that felt so horrifically, viscerally painful, something that felt so, so much more physically wrong than this.

The sensation of being simultaneously ripped apart from the inside and outside was enough to push him to the edge of insanity within seconds of realizing what was happening, but fate wasn't kind enough to let him pass out immediately. It must've lasted a few minutes at the most, but...

Why?

Currently, he couldn't feel the little teeth sinking, tearing, and pulling. He couldn't feel the soft, warm fur crawling down his throat. His skull had fused back together after those deceptively small fangs cracked it open, and his leg and his hand were reattached.

Why, why?

Subaru couldn't even attempt to sit up properly. Every single shred of his body had been torn to shreds and dissolved in gastric acid, and it had barely been pulled back into a cohesive pile of sentient flesh at this point.

Why, why, why?

Every twitch made his exposed skin rub against the stone, and even the slightest contact on the rough floor scraped it open. His shirt was marred by little splotches of blood, as the internal friction of cloth on flesh was enough to rub thinner spots into breaking. His mouth foamed a little.

Why, why, why, why?

Emilia, laying beside him, went completely unnoticed as he writhed on the cold floor. Neither his body, spirit, nor mind were shattered. The only thing he could think, the only thing he could barely utter was-

"Why?" he sputtered. "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?"

As he ran out of air to speak with, the trail of words squeezing out of his lungs became hoarser and quieter. Still, he continued.

Even as the voice of a witch whispered into his mind, those words clawed their way out of his mouth; the near inaudible pleading present until his soul was finally pulled into the castle of dreams, rendering his body motionless as his dulled vision was flooded by white.


Spitting some dirt out of his mouth, Subaru found himself attempting to regain his bearings on reality here yet again. It was no small blessing that Echidna's actions had stabilized his crumbling sanity in more ways than one.

Giving mental thank you to the witch that he'd never say out loud, he shifted his thoughts to more immediate issues.

A small puddle of blood had formed around him. In the time he was out, his splitting skin had leaked out enough to soak most of his clothing, and the pain of inhabiting a body barely held together at the seams came slamming back into him. He sat up with a pained huff and some blood he didn't bother swallowing dripped out and down his chin. Now he could properly get some air.

Breathe in, breathe out. Get a hold of yourself and comfort Emilia. She needs it more than I need rest. The least I could do is reduce her suffering.

Using his barely functional eyes to scan around, he found… nothing? Not even a splotch of lightness could be found in the dim room even as he squinted his eyes and focused harder. A reddish tinge had begun to color his vision, but he didn't notice.

Wait, did she run out in a panic?

Subaru shot up as fast as he could, only adrenaline fueling him, then immediately regretted it as all his blood rushed from his head. Stumbling, he leaned on the nearest wall and slowly felt his way to the exit.

Small steps, small steps. Blood dripped onto the wall. Inch forward. Red smears.

Nobody was outside, perplexingly. Neither Emilia, Ram, Otto, Ryuzu, nor Garfiel remained outside the entrance, and he barely had the energy to weakly call their names, let alone yell for them.

There was a real ominous air hanging about. A strange darkness seemed to be hanging around, a darkness deeper and more dangerous than the night. Something familiar.

It was coming toward him. He couldn't move. Even if he could, his body wouldn't carry him very far. He couldn't tell what she was saying, but the intense emotion radiating from her told him everything.

That thing - Satella, his mind supplied - raised her pallidly pale hands in the moonlight and embraced him with a terribly possessive tenderness. It felt oddly gentle, but he instinctively knew that if there were an attempt to wrest him away, those grasping fingers would chase him down to the end of the world.

He was being smothered by passionate affection, assaulted and violated by overflowing, roiling, twisted love. Flashes of everyone he loved flickered through his mind and he knew the witch was shuffling through his mind.

Suddenly, Subaru was blasted from her arms and the force slammed him none too gently into the wall. His mind, slow from blood loss and jarred by the collision on stone, didn't process the feeling of being carried about until he was unceremoniously dropped on a rooftop. It took him even longer to notice a bright blob of color swim into view.

Only one person had hair that luridly yellow in the Sanctuary.

He could barely tell that Garfiel was talking as a soft glow enveloped his head and eased some of his pain, and the flow of warm liquid dripping from his ears was stemmed before he even realized it was happening.

Dull surprise flooded Subaru as his hearing was partially restored, and the figure, noticing that, began speaking.

"-e hell happened to you? There's no way the trial would've ripped you up this badly!"

"Why…" Subaru groaned.

"Haa? Speak louder!"

"Why did you save me? Why are you healing me?"

Garfiel clicked his tongue. "You kidding me? I can't even see any skin under all that blood! Shadows swallowed everyone else up. Ram's the only reason I escaped and you're the only one left 'sides me and the gal back there."

"Everyone?" Subaru repeated in a horrified whisper.

"Everyone," he responded through gritted teeth, frustration and partially disguised grief filtering through. "Least I can do is save you right now."

Subaru found himself believing that rather easily. Garfiel was acting surprisingly kind to Subaru despite him being the miasma-drenched dead weight he currently was. Plus, he hadn't stopped healing this whole time.

His vision finally steadied somewhat, but there was little time for celebration. Shadows began to swarm nearby and the witch was likely not far.

"Tch! Looks like we gotta move!"

The sound of light footsteps and shuffling foliage. Subaru whipped his head around to face the noise and widened his eyes in shock. A crowd of pink and white had materialized without his notice in the clearing. Ryuzus? They must be-

"Clones?"

"Don't worry, they ain't her. These're all empty," he said, clutching his luminous pyroxene crystal. "We'll shove her outta the way with sheer numbers!"

Subaru couldn't do anything as the one-sided slaughter happened and the chorus of "I love you" filled the air. Too weak to even stand, he could only lash out verbally and let himself be swallowed up in the sea of shadows, bleeding out quickly as his mind, body, and soul seemed to dissolve and mesh with dozens of others.

In this loop, Subaru would never end himself via a stab to the throat. Echidna merely said her compensation would be paid in full within half an hour of him reawakening.

That damn witch.


Emilia awoke to a light tap on her cheek. It was so light and quick that she almost hadn't realized it had happened. She sat up and looked around, catching a glimpse of a figure beside her.

"Subaru? Wait, I was just-"

Disorientation finally giving way to comprehension, she felt a sick wave of fear about to consume her. However, before it could take hold, she noticed a faint chattering noise to her side. Every bit her growing terror was quickly replaced with concern at the utterly shaken look on Subaru's face.

She lightly placed her palm on his cheek. His frantically wide eyes stared straight at her, and Emilia's heart ached a little at his pained expression. At her touch, a dam seemed to break. Tears rapidly beaded and rolled down his face.

With ease, she wrapped herself around him in what she hoped was a reassuring hug, and held him even closer as she felt the wracking sobs jolting through his body. Words of comfort came naturally at this point.

Soon, she heard his cries gradually come to a stop, and his tense body went slack. In his exhaustion, he passed out in her arms.

Subaru had a terrible habit of working himself to tears sometimes. It was rather worrying.

...Oh dear, Ram would probably scold her for indulging him, and then scold him for rushing into the tomb, wouldn't she? Better leave earlier and get it over with.

Subaru likely wouldn't wake for quite a while, so she wiped his tears and snot away with a loose bit of her sleeve, picked him up in a bridal carry, and proceeded toward the exit. But then, she paused. She readjusted it to make him lean more on her back, and looped his arm across her shoulders. The boy was already stressed enough without adding the embarrassment of being held like that, though she wasn't quite sure why he'd think that. Subaru could be a bit silly.

The duo stepped out of the tomb and were greeted by the partially relieved but mostly curious stares of everyone outside. She did as much explaining as she could, but there were still more questions than answers.

"So, Barasu boldly charged in only to cry and pass out? How sad."

"Now, now, miss Ram. Isn't that a bit harsh?" asked Otto in an attempt to pacify the scoffing maid.

"Ha. Pity for a kindred spirit, I see," she rebutted within the second.

Currently, everyone was chatting at the entrance of the tomb. Things had calmed down quickly when Emilia was surprisingly confirmed as fine, and there was little trace of her initial panic left though it was simmering at the back of her mind. She somewhat subconsciously noted Ram and Garfiel's mild surprise at her composed state as she raised a hand to brush back Subaru's hair.

The boy had been propped up against a column, and not a sound had come from him the whole time. There was no sign of him waking anytime soon. Apparently he was more exhausted than he had let on till now and was hiding it the whole time.

The half-elf sighed with a hint of chastising concern, then moved toward him to pick him up again. It was at that moment that she noticed something off. Having been distracted by other problems ever since her awakening in the tomb, she never noticed the oddly bright shade of his skin. It was more obvious now that he sat in the moonlight and she really had to wonder.

Her gaze drifted from his face to his hand. More specifically, the spot that she gripped while supporting his weight. It had a dark hand shaped marking printed on it.

"How peculiar? I don't recall holding on hard enough to bruise so terribly."

Garfiel entered her field of vision with an assessing gaze. "Well, seems like you sure did seeing th' results. Didn't think you had it in ya."

"Miss Emilia? Holding on strong enough to bruise?" replied Ram in her usual snappy tone, though some other feeling faintly tinged her usual jibes. That maid had always had a sharp tongue and a sharp eye, so she'd probably noticed that something was wrong with Subaru too.

As she drew closer to inspect him, Ram stared at him rather intently.

"His breathing sounds shallow and somewhat ragged. Not at all the breathing pattern of a typical sleeping person. Garf!"

Said boy blinked in surprise.

"Bring him to Merri. Even if you can use rudimentary healing magic, I heavily doubt you could do a proper diagnosis."

"I hate to admit that, but couldn't you have said it nicer?" he whined, stepping forward and hauling Subaru onto his back. "But, then again, that's part of why I like ya."

It didn't take much time to arrive at a slightly dingy house with Garfiel toting a body as if it were an abnormally large feather, and after a knock, what looked like a half dog demi-human answered the door. Recognition lit up her eyes and she invited the group in.

Merri hovered over Subaru for a bit, occasionally giving him a gentle prod and rubbing her chin. Finally, she turned to them with a grim expression.

"A substantial amount of blood already seemed to be pooling underneath his skin. With even slightly heavy pressure applied, major bruises form. That means his capillaries are extremely weak right now."

"Is that particularly grievous?" Otto questioned apprehensively.

"That would be feasibly treatable with mine and Garfiel's effort," she answered. "However, the damage runs far deeper than that. It almost seems like his body is barely holding itself together, and his body structure has become quite compromised, to put it in simpler terms. I've never seen anything like it."

Emilia didn't really understand, but she raised her hand. "I can help heal with the aid of lesser spirits. It's not as potent without Puck, but could I still do something."

With a resigned shake of her head, Merri said, "It wouldn't make much of a difference without a very skilled healer, most likely. He'll be on death's door very soon."

A ripple of shock ripped through the room. Even Ram's eyes widened marginally.

"Subaru's dying!?"

"What on earth could have caused this? The trial?"

"There's no way the trial could have done this level of damage!"

Panicked chatter filled the room as everyone came to grips with the given information. Emilia herself could feel all the blood draining from her face. However, she still clung to a spark of hope at a part of the half blood's statement.

"An exceptional healer? Don't we already know someone like that...?"


The first sensation that broke through the darkness of Subaru's unconscious was a slight vibration-like feeling. Now and then, a larger bump would come, but his muddled mind barely registered anything until he felt something shaking his shoulder.

Weakly, he opened his eyes to a scruffy head of vibrant blond hair and the glow of healing magic.

Subaru almost snorted. "Finally falling into a pattern, huh?"

"Haa? The hell you talking about?" he grunted. "Anyway, shut it unless you wanna drop headfirst to Arga's domain. You're already standin' on the precipice."

The familiarity of the unfamiliar proverbs was almost reassuring. How strange. He could feel the vitality of life draining from his body at every moment, but he couldn't bring himself to move.

"Hey, Garfiel."

"What is it?"

"I'm dying, aren't I?"

A lull in the conversation. Garfiel actually looked quite uncomfortable. "I'm doing my best to stabilize your condition till we get to that great spirit in the mansion. You wouldn't believe the fuss your princess put up when realized she couldn't come along."

"Aw, did she really? I'm touched," he chuckled weakly. "Why, though?"

Garfiel stared at him with a funny look in his eye before muttering, "Ya seemed like the frivolous sort, but I didn't think you'd be making jokes even in this situation. Now, you didn't think I stopped your super long nap for nothing, right?"

A noncommittal noise. Garfiel took it as a sign to continue.

"Ram told me that the only person who can reliably find her is you. You need to be awake for this."

Subaru's vision was going fuzzy at the edges. An annoying buzz filled his ears, but he still nodded to show comprehension.

Everything was beginning to blur together, but he could still remember some parts. Petra's frantic tone, Fredericka's anxious one. The sound of Garfiel's footsteps slowly speeding up as Subaru shook his head at every door he pointed at.

It felt like ages before a familiar recognition tugged at him. His hand twitched almost reflexively.

Noticing Subaru's movement immediately, he stopped in front of the nearest door and pushed it open.

The smell of aged books and old parchment filled Subaru's nose. He let out a small sigh.

Things had ceased to hold proper form in his vision, but he could've sworn a mass of yellow and pink was rushing toward him, shouting in distress, stepping closer. Could've sworn that he felt a presence beside him.

Something warm dripped onto his face as he drifted away into the dark.


Did that hurt? It's my first time writing something like this, but I hope it did

So why didn't the witch head toward the mansion this time? Probably due to the extent of Subaru's injuries. Canon is only used until it's inconvenient