I'm back with another one of these! I honestly have no clue how this started, but it's fun to continue. Enjoy!

Warning for a very intoxicated Sheldon.

(This is crossposted on AO3 and Wattpad)


With the fog of an hour just after midnight, a young man shambles down the street, obviously drunk. This may be normal, had the man not been Sheldon Cooper. Seeing him intoxicated was a rare, weird occurrence. Nevertheless, he walks into an apartment building, stumbling slightly.

Inside, he climbs the stairs three floors and begins to pound on the door to apartment 4A. Knock, knock, knock. "Leonard!" Knock, knock, knock. "Leonard!" Knock, knock, knock. "Leonard!"Knock, knock, knock. "Leonard!"

"Wait," he says to himself, "was that three times or four?" Nodding, he gives two more rounds of knocks. But no one opens the door.

"Has he abandoned me?" He thinks for a moment, then shakes his head. "Nonsense! He needs me. For now, I'll just gooo where the wind takes meeee!"

With an odd sort of determination, he continues up the stairs at a running pace. With Sheldon being drunk and running up stairs, this only results in him falling on his face, quite literally. He pulls himself up and continues onward at a slower pace this time.

He begins to knock on one of the doors on the next floor up. Knock, knock, knock. "Neighbors!" Knock, knock, knock. "Neighbors!"

Frisk yanks the door open, glaring at Sheldon from the first glance. "What do you want now? It's past midnight!"

"Weeeell, I was looking for someplace to call my own for the night."

"Are you drunk?" Frisk asks, stepping forward. "You… you definitely smell like achohol…"

"Can I come in? I… feel a little dizzy." He stumbles forward, nearly falling once again.

Frisk dives out of the way, then checks to see if he actually fell. "D*mnit, you are drunk. Why are you drunk?" she mutters.

"what's going on, kiddo?" Sans asks, waking up on the couch.

She glances at the skeleton, then back to her neighbor. "Sheldon's here and drunk."

"he's… drunk?"

"It's fine, it's fine! I'm okay," Sheldon says, taking a few more steps into the apartment. "How's it going!?"

Not taking her eyes off him, Frisk shuts the door. "What are you even doing here?"

Down the hall, a door opens. Undyne comes out. "What's going on? Why's it so loud out— Oh… he's here."

"Heyyyy! What's going on?" Sheldon says, sticking his hand out.

Undyne just stares at him for a moment.

"He's drunk," Frisk mutters. "Where's Alphys?"

"Still in the room but… he's drunk?"

"I'm not that drunk!" Sheldon exclaims.

"Really? Then say… 'A man takes a drink' six times." Frisk says.

"A man takes a drink. A man takes a drink. A… drink takes a drink. A drink takes a drink. A… drink takes a... man."

"There's so much wrong with that I don't know where to start," Undyne says, moving into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Frisk asks.

"I'm getting some milk or something. We aren't getting much sleep tonight because of him."

"I'll beeee gooooood~!" Sheldon exclaims almost sing-songy.

"You're not staying here," Undyne says. "Go back to your apartment or call someone else."

"Leonard and Penny won't pick up and the door's locked! I already tried. It's hopeless!"

"then… who do we call?" Sans asks.

"Ghostbusters!" Sheldon shouts.

"Shut up," Undyne growls, stepping forward and slapping his arm.

"Hey! Ya don't have to slap meeeee."

"I'm calling Howard. Maybe he can take him off our hands," Frisk says.

"alright, kiddo. sounds good," Sans says, pulling out a bottle of ketchup.

The phone rings a few moments before voices can be heard.

"Howard! Your phone's ringing!" Howard's mom shouts from the other end of the phone.

"Wait, Ma! Don't pick it up!" Howard shouts back.

"The caller ID said Frisk! Who's she? A hooker?"

"Just— Give me the phone!"

There's a brief pause, in which Frisk silently glares at the wall.

"Hello, this is Howard Wolowitz. How can I help you?"

"Um… It's Frisk, who's definitely not a hooker. And if I was, I wouldn't be calling you."

"what." Sans's eye lights disappear as he stares at the girl.

"Oh, god. You heard that?" Howard asks. "Sorry, my mom's…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Now, I'm calling about Sheldon. He—"

"Nope, sorry. Not dealing with him and my mom at one in the morning."

"We don't want to deal with him either! You're his friend, anyway. We're just his neighbors who he thinks are weird. He needs a different place to stay the night."

"Well find somewhere else. He's not coming to my place again. Last time was terrible."

"Come on, please? I wasn't ever trained how to deal with a drunk Sheldon!" Frisk exclaims.

"He's drunk? That's a double no. Why don't you dump him back off with Leonard or Penny?"

"A double no's a yeeees!" Sheldon shouts over.

"Then he meant a triple no," Frisk snaps, before returning to the call. "Their doors are locked and their phones are off. He already tried."

"Oh, well, that's still a no. Sorry."

There's a click as Howard hangs up.

"Well, Howard's no help," Frisk says, slouching with disappointment.

"h-hang on, kiddo," Sans says. "what was that part about… not being a…"

"Howard's mom beat him to answering the phone and… yeah… I don't want to talk about it."

"What do weee do now?" Sheldon asks.

"Do we try Raj?" Frisk asks, glancing from the very drunk Sheldon to her friends.

"Noooo! He's evil!"

Undyne glances over from where she's heating up milk for her and Alphys. "And… why's he evil?"

"Beeecaaaauuuuse! Did you seee the desk he bought? He's eeevil!"

Undyne looks back to Frisk. "Call him. I'm not dealing with this all night long."

Frisk nods, tossing the phone to Sans. "Can you?"

"why— oh yeah. sure, kid." Sans dials a number and puts the phone to where his ear would be if he weren't a skeleton. "hello?"

Raj picks up, sounding tired. "Hello? It's like one in the morning, what do you want?"

"heya, pal. this is sans. i'm calling about sheldon. he—"

"I'm not apologizing to him!" Raj exclaims.

"uh, what?"

"Did you see the desk I bought? I'm annoying him for a very specific reason. He's an ass."

"look, pal, i don't really care about that. it's just, sheldon's here, and drunk. we don't want to deal with him anymore. will you take him off our hands?"

"I don't want to deal with him anymore either!" Raj says. "Figure it out yourselves!"

"that's what we've been— he hung up on me." Sans glances at Sheldon, then at Frisk and Undyne. "what do we do now?"

"Aaaall that's left to do is give up!" Sheldon exclaims.

"And what, let you stay the night? No way in hell are we doing that!" Undyne says. "Can't you get a hotel room or something?"

"Actually… that's a good idea, Undyne!" Frisk says, her expression brightening up. "Let's send him off to a hotel room!"

"Do you expect me to walk there? I'm drunk!" Sheldon says.

"How'd you get here then?" Undyne asks.

"That's diiiiffereeeent! What if I get hit by a car or something?"

Undyne sighs. "It's not that different, but fine. Sans, go with him."

"me? why me?" Sans asks, mid-sip from a ketchup bottle.

"You're lazy enough, you could use a walk," Frisk says. "Besides, you could just take a shortcut, right?"

Sans stands, shoving the ketchup bottle in his pocket. "fine, i'll do it this time. next time it's on one of you."

"Hopefully there won't be a next time," Undyne mutters, pouring the milk into two glasses. She leaves the room with the glasses, heading back to the bedroom.

Frisk just sighs, flopping down on the couch. Jeez, this wasn't what she expected for her night.


In the morning, Frisk stands outside the door to apartment 4A, Sheldon behind her. He holds his head, squinting his eyes. It's funny how in only a night a very intoxicated Sheldon could turn into a very hungover Sheldon. Frisk pounds on the door until Leonard answers.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Leonard asks, instantly recognizing the sour expression on Frisk's face.

Behind them, the door to apartment 4B opens up. Penny steps out, but Frisk doesn't realize this. She just stares at the others.

"I had to deal with him last night," she says, jabbing a finger at Sheldon.

"Could you not talk so loud? I have a headache," Sheldon says, covering his eyes for a moment.

"And… what happened to you?" Leonard asks, turning to Sheldon.

"After the fight with Raj, I decided to go to the bar and get drunk. A bad idea, in hindsight."

"So that's why you showed up to our apartment, drunk?" Frisk asks.

"You got drunk?!" Leon asks, staring at Sheldon.

"Yeah, so while you were off doing it with Penny, we were dealing with him," Frisk exasperatedly says.

"Hold on, we weren't 'doing it'!" Penny exclaims. "What makes you think that?"

"Sheldon said both your doors were locked and neither of you were picking up the phone," Frisk says, turning to face Penny.

"I didn't want to deal with Sheldon at one in the morning!" Penny says

"Well, neither did we," Frisk says, crossing her arms.

"Hang on, don't you have a key to our apartment, Sheldon?" Leonard asks, drawing attention back to him.

"Oh yeah, I do."

"You had your room key this whole time?!" Frisk shouts. "So we put you up in a hotel for no reason?"

"You put him in a hotel?" Penny asks.

"He wasn't sleeping in our apartment."

"Well, I forgot. Sorry." Sheldon gives a smile.

Frisk groans. "Nevermind. I'm getting the mail. Take better care of your roommate next time!" With that, she storms off.


Once again, Sheldon makes everyone's day (or night) go hilariously wrong. I like to think that Frisk is generally a very nice person, but when Sheldon comes around? Oh no. She's not taking any of his crap.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day!