I woke trapped. And very, very hot. Only the faint smell of aftershave, mixed with what could only be described as Dimitri, kept me from panicking. He held me tight against his body, arms and leg wrapped around me in a vice like grip, shielding me from everything outside of our little bubble. Fully awake now, I tried to move away, but Dimitri just pulled me closer to him, making a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat. He had been unwilling to let me out of his embrace since our argument, and subsequent expiation, seemingly afraid I might evaporate into the ether if he let go.

I braced my hands against his chest, craning my neck to place kisses along his jaw. "Dimitri," I murmured, kissing him on the lips. He stirred a little, rubbing his hands down my back, but not loosening his grip on me any. "Dimitri, I can't breathe, and I need to pee!" I said, louder this time.

"Wha- Oh, sorry." Dimitri muttered, voice thick with sleep. Unwrapped himself from my body, he rolled onto his back and stretched his limbs. Returning from the bathroom, I found Dimitri sitting up against the headboard, scrolling through his phone. Looking up at me, he smiled hesitantly, a little of the tension from last night yet to have dissipated. "The memorial starts at 11, so Lissa wants us at the palace by 10." Dimitri told me, putting his phone back on the bedside table. I nodded by way of response, crawling back onto the bed and onto Dimitri's lap. He wrapped his arms around me instinctively, kissing my hair and resting his chin on the crown of my head.

"You going to tell me what's in that little bag?" Dimitri asked lightly, his voice edged with curiosity as his fingers played absently with the ends of my hair. "No," I laughed in response, pulling back slightly to look him in the eyes. "I do need to see someone after the memorial though, if you'll come with me?" Dimitri simply nodded, trusting that my actions would make sense to him eventually.

We stayed in bed for a little while longer, showering and dressing together, still unwilling to be too far apart for too long. Between the raid, the rescue, our fight and the other elephant in the room that we had both been avoiding - my impending departure to Lehigh with Lissa, we had both become a little clingy. We chose to walk through the gardens that lay behind our building and the palace, enjoying the bright moonlight falling around us as we went. It was cold again, fall arriving earlier this year. Dimitri mentioned as much, his eyes scanning our surroundings. To anyone observing, it would appear to be standard Guardian behaviour, but I knew different, the gardens bore a striking resemblance to those at Galia's Mansion. Even though the hedge maze had been removed - a request I had made to Lissa which she mercifully hadn't questioned much - the large blooms on the well kept roses still served to remind us of a past we were never able to escape.

Walking into the palace through the large french doors that overlook the gardens, we nod to the Guardian on watch there and make our way through to Lissa office, finding her there seated next to Christian on the loveseat in the middle of the room. In her knee length, slash neck black dress, her mothers' pearls sat around her neck and her hair pulled up into a chignon, she looked more like a businesswoman than a monarch - besides the crown, that is. She played with the button on her sleeve as we entered, giving us a small smile before gesturing for us to take the loveseat opposite her. "I wanted to see you before the memorial service starts, I know we won't have much chance after" Lissa starts as we sit. Since we would be on duty for the memorial, and then getting tattooed shortly afterwards, she had a point. "We need to figure out what to do with Jill."

"Don't you think Jill should be part of that discussion?" I said softly. Although both had been making an effort to get to know each other since their familial connection, tensions were still high between the two. "I know, but I want to be able to at least come to her with a plan. I don't think telling her I'm clueless about how to keep her safe will be much comfort" Lissa replied, her fingers returning to fidget with the button at her wrist again. Christian laid his hand over her fretful one, stroking her hand gently as he spoke. "Is there any way she can go back to the academy? Enough has changed for her already, I'm sure she'd like a bit of normalcy."

"Whilst the academy can protect from dangers outside of our society, it can't do much about those from within," Dimitri said, no doubt his mind back in the cabin Victor had taken Lissa to the previous winter. I think we were all thinking the same thing. "So St. Vlads is a no. She can't stay here on her own, me and Liss will be at college soon, so Jill would be at the mercy of those opposed to Lissa AND the royals trying to get on her good side. Sending her somewhere in the human world could hide her from the threats here at court, but is that really fair, sending her off somewhere on her own?" I mused out loud.

"So we are back to square one." Lissa sighed exasperated. Standing to pace in front of her desk. "There is no easy solution here Liss, but Rose was right; this is a decision that Jill has to make. We can't force a future on her that she doesn't want." Christian gave Lissa a pointed look, and the two seemed to have a conversation without speaking. Finally Lissa turned nodded, seating herself again next to her boyfriend. "She's meeting us here soon, we can ask her then."

"Maybe it would be better over dinner? It might make her feel less like she is taking orders from her queen" I said, gesturing around the room. "Besides, that's not what today is about." I added quietly, looking into Lissa's eyes. The shift in the stance of the guardians that lined the walls wasn't lost on me; whilst they would never say it, and they were fiercely loyal to the queen, they felt as strongly as me that today was for mourning and remembrance, not royal business. Lissa's eyes widened, a look of guilt flashing through them. "Of course, there's plenty of time for that later. I'll invite her to dinner later this week. That way you can both come as guests before you're back on duty." whilst it was still technically our week off, Guarding at the memorial had felt like the right thing to do for both me and Dimitri.

Jill joined us not long after that, becoming typically nervous at the prospect of dinner with her sister. "We'll be there too," I said, attempting to diffuse the tension, "And maybe you could invite someone? Like Eddie, I know you to have been training together." Eddie had been spending a lot of time training Jill and Mia in self defence, gaining a kind of brother/sister friendship along the way. Jill seemed to like the idea of company, but at her next words, I started cursing myself for my suggestion.

"Can I invite Adrian? I mean, if it's not too awkward. It's just he's been so miserable since-" she cut herself off, blushing as she looked over to where Dimitri and I sat. "And well, it will be his birthday, but I don't think he has anything planned since his Mom is in jail. I don't want him to be alone on his birthday, that would suck." her words, appearing to all come out in one breathe, abruptly stopped and jill looked down at her hands. Lissa looked over at me questioningly. I gave her a small shrug - I couldn't see the harm, Adrian was unlikely to attend anyway, so there was no point in refusing her.

Lissa looked back at Jill "Of course you can invite Adrian," She said in a soft voice, trying to coax Jill into giving her eye contact. Jill eventually looked up and gave Lissa a shy smile. Our happiness at a small victory was short lived however. The mood became somber as we all stood to start the procession towards the church for the memorial service. The streets between the palace and the church were lined with people, All wearing black, some there to genuinely pay their respects, others purely for the spectacle. The flagpoles that would usually fly the monarch's seal now instead had flown the Guardian emblem - two silver stakes crossed in an X shape on a black background, the words "they come first" in cyrilic below. In another nod to the old country, the edges of the flag were adorned with a geometric pattern that looked like a cross between an eye and a star. Similar to the nazar I wore, this signified protection in Romanian folk law. Outside that the pattern signifying the line between good and evil - a bold line with shorter lines coming off it at a right angle, like a comb.

Although a symbol mostly relegated to the realms of history books nowadays, Lissa had commissioned the flags be made for this occasion, a decision that made her equally popular with dhampirs and unpopular with conservative royals. Another decision that would no doubt cause controversy, Lissa had decided that she would walk alongside guardian Croft, as his equal, her guards as much a part of the procession as the royals; not just protectors, but the focus of the occasion. Lissa had taken special care to make sure that the family and friends of the guardians who were killed were able to attend the memorial, calling in any extra guards who were willing to cover the gate and boundary shifts for those who personally knew the fallen to attend without being on shift. Opposers to the young monarch were calling it a purely political move, but everyone who knew Lissa personally knew she was doing it out of kindness, not to curry favour with dhampir.

Taking our places along the wall as we enter the church, I feel the back of Dimitri's hand brush mine as we take our positions. Although neither of us moved our eyes to look at the other, the small comfort from the touch filled me with warmth. Once all of the procession was inside the church, the priest began his slow walk down the centre aisle singing a quiet prayer as a thurifer swung burning incense a few paces ahead. Reaching the front of the church, he stops in front of Lissa, who bows her head as he does the sign of the cross in front of her, pressing his crucifix to her forehead before taking the pulpit.

"In nomine Patris et fillii et Spiritus Sancti" The priest's voice carries over the large congregation.

"Amen."

Lissa gracefully took her seat on the pew, the rest of the congregation following suit. Whilst I and many others weren't necessarily religious, there was a quiet comfort in the ceremony, a chance to say goodbye, and the possibility that maybe, just maybe, the guardians lost were in a better place than the one they had left behind. I didn't listen to the words from the priest, or join in with the prayers. I did, however, give the reading of the names my full attention.

In the centre of the church, where the coffin would usually be, a large cushion made of deep red velvet had been wheeled out. The priest approached it, once again singing a prayer as he circled it three times. Ornate wooden boxes were then brought out and opened, revealing rows of silver stakes; each representing one of the guardians who had died in the raid and rescue mission. Where possible, the guardians own stake was used for the ceremony, before being returned to their family. If their stake had been lost, then a stake from the deceased's family of a close friend was used.

Guardian croft joined the priest in the centre of the church, his usual mask not hiding the sombre look in his eyes. He took his place at the side of the cushion, reaching into the box to take out a stake. He raised it, point down, over the cushion and said the name of one of the guardians who had been lost, as well as their rank. The priest then did the sign of the cross, and the stake was plunged into the top of the cushion, before the process was repeated for all the other guardians. Again and again, a name was called, a stake driven into the cushion. While I recognised the tradition from the memorial that had been held at the academy following the attack, I hadn't truly been present back then. Now, each low thump of the stake piercing the velvet of the cushion made me flinch every so slightly. In the absence of a casket - bodies either never recovered or returned to families for burial, this ceremony served as a physical reminder of those who had been lost. Once all of the stakes had been placed, wreaths were laid over them and the cushion was lifted, similar to a casket, onto the shoulders of four guardians, who followed the priest in a slow possession around the outer aisles of the church before being taken to the apse of the church where it would remain for the next forty days.

By the time the service was over, the sorrow in the church was almost suffocating, I was glad when we were finally outside again. Dimitri at my side, we followed Lissa back to the palace, where, in keeping with tradition, wine would be served. Mercifully the crowd outside the church had mostly dissipated, giving everyone a moment to decompress before the wake. Escorting Lissa back within the safety of the palace walls, me and Dimitri made our way over to the guardian headquarters to receive our tattoos. While receiving a Zevezda usually happened with a little more ceremony, I had had all I could take for one day and, just like with the rest of my tattoos, this didn't feel like something that should be celebrated.

Neither of us talked on the way to HQ, nor after our tattoos were completed and whale it wasn't an awkward silence, it certainly wasn't as comfortable as it usually was. I could tell looking up at Dimitri's face that he was waging a mental battle about something, but at this point it was hard to pin down just one thing that it could be. I lent into him, bumping my shoulder against his arm as we walked, pulling him from his rumination. He looked down at me and sighed, pulling my hand into his and lifting it to his lips to kiss my knuckles. As we reached the street that led to the palace and our apartment, I stopped, pulling Dimitri by the hand in the other direction. Dimitri gave me a puzzled look and stopped walking.

"You wanted to know what was in the bag didn't you?" I ask him with a small smile, pulling the little drawstring bag out of my pocket. Giving his arm a light tug, I start walking again, this time Dimitri following without further protest. Stopping in front of the spa's front entrance, Dimitri let out a sigh.

"Why do I have a feeling I know where this is going?"

Another chapter complete!

The dinner that Lissa invites Jill to in this chapter is the one that sparks the events of the Bloodlines books, and it felt like a nice way to tie in the timeline of this story; falling post Homecoming and pre bloodlines

There will be one more chapter, and I will explain my idea for the next story at the end of that chapter. I may also edit some of the earlier chapters in this story, as I'm not a fan of some of my earlier writing.

As always, thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!

Much love and stay safe xx