Needing you – Chapter 3 (Creeper's POV)

I woke up early, watching Maya sleep. She was as beautiful as the day she left, with her long dark hair and green eyes. I had always held a torch for her, but I was freshly patched and didn't dare cross Bishop for the sake of a girl. This time though… maybe things would be different. Maya deserved the world. She was fierce and beautiful and sassy as fuck. Before that piece of shit did a number on her, she didn't take shit from anyone. Now… I'd just settle for a smile from her. If she really did want help, like she'd asked for last night, she was going to be in for a rough couple of weeks whilst she dried out.

She stirred next to me, her face contorting into a frown in her sleep. She turned over, mumbling "no, don't leave me," and threw her hand out to grab someone that wasn't there. I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to comfort her and let her know she wasn't alone, but she lashed out from her nightmare, waking herself up with a scream.

"It's ok, you're ok Maya," I told her, taking her hands in mine as her eyes darted around, looking disorientated. Her breathing became ragged as her panic mounted, and within a few seconds she was gasping for breath. I knew from first hand experience that she was having a panic attack. I pulled her into me, her back pressed against my chest as I held her firmly, but gently.

"Breathe with me," I instructed, putting my hand across her chest and pushing her firmly against me, so she could feel my ribcage expanding with each breath. "That's it Maya. Breathe with me, babe." I kept talking to her, calmly and gently. Slowly, I felt her pounding heart begin to calm against my hand, as her breathing regularised. After a few minutes, she relaxed against me, turning her head towards me and nuzzling into my neck. I turned her around in my arms and held her close, letting her know without words that she was safe and wanted.

"You stayed," she whispered, sounding surprised. I hoped that, as time passed, she would stop being surprised that she had people here that cared about her.

"Of course I did," I whispered, kissing the top of her head. I didn't want to spook her in any way, but I wanted her to know I was here. I smiled when she kissed my neck gently.

"Thank you, creep," she whispered back, making me smile again. She was the only one who could call me Creep and get away with it. It made me realise something though.

"It's Neron,"I told her gently and she pulled back in surprise.

"Huh," she said, "I can't believe I've known you for years and never actually asked your name." I shrugged, unphased.

"No biggie," I said seriously. "No one ever uses it."

"I like it," she said shyly, smiling up at me sweetly through her long dark eyelashes. She took my breath away.

"How are you feeling?" I asked and she sighed, looking down.

"Honestly?" She mumbled, "Embarrassed, sad, angry. Like I want a drink." She looked ashamed to admit that last part. "I don't want to lie to you."

"You don't ever have to," I told her, "no matter how dark or ugly shit gets in your head, you've always got a safe zone here." She needed to know I was a safe space, otherwise every time she had a bad day, she would slip back into her old 'safe space' – the bottle.

We looked at each other, no other words needed. When she was ready to share, I was ready to listen.

"I should take a shower," she eventually said, and I loosed my grip so she could climb out of bed. When she entered the bathroom. I dressed and walked out into the clubhouse. Angel and Coco were sitting eating breakfast, and they both nodded to me as I passed.

"What's happening, bro, she good?" Angel asked. Guess it wasn't a secret where I spent the night. I shook my head.

"Not even a little bit," I replied, "but she'll get there."

"Shit brother," Coco laughed suddenly, "you better talk to Bish." I raised my eyebrow at him questioningly. "About the fact you got a thing for his sister." He laughed again.

"You just worry about what you're doing, brother," I told him quietly, not giving anything away.

"Creeper!" Bishop called suddenly, standing at the door of Templo, "a word." Coco and Gilly snickered as I stood up, walking over to Templo. I took my usual seat at the table, Bishop sitting at the end when his phone in his hand.

"Is there something you want to tell me? I saw you yesterday, leaving the party with Maya," he said quietly. He looked concerned but not angry.

"Nothing happened, Pres. I just want to help her," I responded. He took a cigar an sparked up, taking a drag.

"I just got off the phone with Maya's employers," he told me. "I wanted to tell them she needed a few weeks off with her family. Turns out, it wasn't necessary. She was suspended two days ago, for being intoxicated at work."

"Fuck," I hissed. He looked me dead in the eye.

"Creeper, you're my brother. I know you've had your demons in the past and you've overcome them. So tell me the truth… is my sister currently on that same crash course?" He asked, taking another drag of his cigar. I took a deep breath and told him the truth.

"Yeah, Bish, she is," I said simply, putting my hand on the table.

"Fuck." It was his turn to swear.

"I saw it a mile off, the night we picked her up," I told him. "She's got all the signs man, physically and emotionally. But she ain't too far gone. We can help her. She chose to leave the bottle last night, a soon as she believed she wasn't alone. She's just terrified of being abandoned."

"So that's why you've been looking out for her," he nodded to himself, "because you know what she's going through." I looked at him, wondering whether just to agree with his theory, before quickly shaking my head.

"That's not it," I said quietly but honestly. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Look brother, you're my president and what you say goes… but I have been into Maya since the first time I met her. I was a fresh patch, I was newly clean and sober, and I didn't wanna disrespect you. So I said nothing and she ended up with an asshole who treated her like shit. She needs my help and I'm gonna give it to her. Honestly? I hope it turns into more. I'll give her the world. But I'll never push that on her and make her feel like she owes me shit, because she never will. She's gotta want me like I want her. But first we need to get her dried out. It's gonna be messy and it's gonna take time, and she will slip up. We all fucking do. But I'm gonna be there for her, good days and fucking bad. I hope you can get on board with that, carnal. I don't ever want to let her down again." My eyes never left his for the entire time I was speaking. I wanted him to know I was serious.

"Well fuck, brother," he surprised me by chuckling. "I wish you would've said something sooner and maybe she never would've left. Can't worry about that now though," he added, as he saw my gaze lower, "we just gotta focus on the now. Tell me what we need. What you need, to help her. The rest of this shit… you two can figure that out when she's sober." I nodded, pleased that he hadn't shut me down.

"The first few days she's gonna feel rough as hell," I explained, leaning forward. "She'll probably be ill, sweats, shakes. Maybe even hallucinate… honestly depends on how much she's been drinking and for how long. She'll say she's fine… but she'll say anything to get hold of it. I wouldn't leave her alone…. I've noticed that's her trigger. She feels like she's not wanted or needed or good enough… and she'll be at that bottle. Once she's dried out, I think giving her something to focus on will be good for her. She needs somewhere to put all of her emotions and equally something to distract her. Maybe AA will help, maybe it won't. Everyone is different. The main thing is to show her she's wanted. And that is genuine, not just… we feel sorry for her." He frowned at that.

"I would hope everyone's concern for her in this club is fucking genuine," he snapped and I nodded.

"It is, brother. But she don't know that. She said to me that the only reason we rescued her is 'cause she's your sister and, if she wasn't, no one would give a shit," I explained and he sighed.

"This is my fault. I never should've let her go," he said and I shook my head.

"She's your sister, not your prisoner. Besides, I remember what she was like before all this. Wouldn't have listened to you no matter what you said," I reminded him and he chuckled.

"Ain't that right," he agreed, nodding before getting serious. "Ok, well we got 5 days until we gotta run the next shipment for Gallindo. We can dry her out, at least get the physical withdrawal out the way between now and then, and we'll figure out the rest from there. I'm counting on you, brother."

"I'll help her, Carnal," I promised, meaning every word. "You might need to tell the guys they'll be no parties between now and then. I don't think they will help her at all." Bishop nodded.

"They wanna party, they can go to Vickie's," he agreed, "I'll let them know now what's going down. You go back and check on her." I nodded, standing up before hesitating.

"You sure you're ok with this, brother? I don't wanna overstep if you wanna take care of her," I asked him, though I instantly wished I'd kept my mouth shut. Thankfully, though, he shook his head.

"I can tell you're serious about her," he said. "Besides, you're the best guy for the job." I nodded. There was no doubt about that.

Surprisingly, I found her sitting at a table in the clubhouse, talking to Chucky. He seemed to have made her some breakfast, but she was only picking at it. She smiled when she saw me.

"Hey you," she greeted me, pushing over a mug of coffee, "I was wondering where you hag run off to." I smiled, sitting down beside her.

"I was just talking to Bishop," I explained and she raised her eyebrows.

"Three guesses what that conversation was about," she grumbled, glaring into her mug.

"He's just worried about you. We all are," I told her and she sighed.

"I'll be fine," she snapped, before looking contrite.

"He called the hospital," I told her quietly, "he knows about your suspension." I watched as her eyes filled with fear.

"It… it was just a misunderstanding," she tried to cover herself quickly, standing up suddenly and taking a step back. "I would never… I'm not…"

"Maya, I'm not judging you," I said quietly, putting my hands up in a surrendering motion. "Come on… come for a walk with me. It's not too hot yet."

"I'm from here, jerk. I know how warm it can get," she snapped, but walked towards the door anyway. I grinned behind her. I knew she didn't feel like herself… but hearing her snap reminded me of her fighting spirit. Something I was pleased to see she still had.

(Maya's POV)

I stomped out of the clubhouse into the lot, making my way over to the cage. I was pissed at Bishop for calling my work without asking. But most of all, I was pissed at myself for getting into this mess. I wanted to do better. But I also really wanted a fucking drink.

I don't remember how I got to this point. Spending my evenings alone while Nathan nailed my best friend… yeah I may have had a glass of wine or two to pass the time. Now it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning.

I sat down on the concrete, my back leaning against the metal grating. I felt Creeper… Neron sit next to me, his knees up with his arms resting on them. We sat there in silence for a few moments. I was trying hard not to show I was bothered, embarrassed when my hands started shaking. I shoved my fists in my pockets.

"What am I going to do, Creep?" I asked him. "I've lost everything."

"Not everything," he corrected me. "The club is still here. Your brother is still here. I'm still here." I couldn't help but smile a little at that.

"Last time I was here… I overheard Angel saying something about you," I said quietly, looking into his soft brown eyes.

"Yeah?" He asked and I blushed, looking down.

"He was talking to some girl about… how you weren't always sober," I whispered. He nodded.

" I was addicted to alcohol and meth for almost a decade," he answered, surprisingly open about it. "It nearly killed me. But I got out of it. Getting a patch helped. Gave me purpose. It's how I know you'll get out of this too. But you gotta fight for it, princess."

"I want to, Creep. I don't want to hurt anymore. I just don't know how to," I whispered, starting to feel broken again.

"You take a second at a time. And you start being honest with yourself," he told me, holding his hand out to me. I hesitated for a second, knowing my hands were still shaking. But one look into his eyes told me he already knew that, and he was still sitting there. He wasn't running away, ashamed of me. I slowly pulled my hand out of my pocket and reached for him. He held my hand as it shook, rubbing his thumb slowly along the back of my palm.

"How bad is it?" He murmured.

"Bad enough that I can tell you how many whiskey bottles are behind the bar because I counted when you were in Templo. Not bad enough that I took one and hid it," I answered. Yet. He smiled sadly at my honesty, before looking into my eyes seriously.

"Do you want to stop?" He asked me.

"I want to live," I answered. "I want to be happy again. I want the pain to go away. I want the guilt to stop. So yes… I want to stop. I just know it'll be hard." He pulled me into him then, so I was laying between his legs with my head against his chest.

"When it's hard, you tell me. When you want it so bad that you'll do anything for it… promise me you'll tell me," he said firmly. "You can't shoulder this alone. You can't say you're fine when you're not because, trust me, that never works. Can you trust me to help you?"

"Please help me, Neron. You're one of the only people I trust," I whispered, knowing it to be true. He nodded, kissing my hair as he held me there for a few minutes, before standing up and pulling me with him.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as he led me back to the clubhouse.

"Time for me to see if you're still the record holder pool player of the club," he teased, making me laugh. I was surprised he even remembered that I'd once out-shot Coco, Angel and Gilly in one night.

"You bet your ass I am," I grinned, not realising that he was distracting me. For the first time in days, I wasn't thinking about wanting a drink.

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the filler, I just needed to set the scene of how lost she's feeling right now. I promise the storyline is about to kick in

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