Regret


At first, Neal had been so happy to see that Peter was his brother. Sure, the agent had made a few comments, but he had done that back in the early days of them working together too. It seemed to be his way of dealing with things so he figured he might grumble a little or make some teasing comments, but instead, he had denied the possibility and had instigated the test being redone to confirm or deny their connection.

It would figure. Neal was a criminal here, who would want him for a brother?

Not willing to dwell on the pain that had caused, Neal moved on to planning his reaction. The facility was mailing their results so if he kept his eye out for it he might be able to intercept Peter's copy and swap it out with a negative result. Since the only reason the test was being redone was Peter's doubt, he figured it was likely a legitimate result that would be duplicated so he wanted to be prepared. There was no way he wanted Peter to be forced to contend with him as a brother.

Going to work, he made copies of the documents based on the pictures he'd taken with a device hidden on his jacket. Then he went about making minor changes and altered the end result so that it depicted an easily accounted for error that would explain away the mistake that had occurred the first time.

With his work done, he smuggled the envelope into his desk and prepared to make the switch when the opportunity arose.


Talking the situation through with his wife and parents over the following days, Peter slowly came to terms with the likelihood that Neal was his younger brother.

Sure, Neal was a criminal and a con artist so he couldn't be trusted, and they had nothing in common as far as appearance or interests went, but they were both smart and Neal had a heart. He wasn't violent and he tried to prevent others from being hurt in a lasting way even as he enjoyed the thrill of the challenge and the addiction of the adrenaline rush. When it came down to it, Neal's entire foundation being destroyed when he was eighteen probably did some damaged to his moral compass but it didn't hurt his brain or his heart.

Peter was lucky to have someone who could keep up with him, someone who sharpened him like iron on iron, someone who could tolerate his annoying habits, and someone who wasn't afraid to stand up to him when he was wrong. Neal was different than him. However, with the exception of his criminal ways, that wasn't a bad thing.

By the time he was expecting the results to come in, Peter actually kind of hoped that Neal would turn out to be his brother. It would add complications to his life, but Neal would provide a connection that he'd never had before.


The day he saw the envelope, it was easy to accidentally bump the deliverer spilling some coffee and causing some mail to fall. A quick swap and the deed was done. If it all went to plan, Peter would be relieved and he would never know what the real results entailed. There was the risk that the archeologist would dig into why the data had been misread, but that was why he made the mistake something even he could explain away, something that was noted in the addition he had decided to tag on as a precaution just in case.


When he saw the envelope on his desk after a day full of meetings, Peter couldn't resist opening it. He was excited and nervous, he had a brother!

Or not, reading through the papers a second time and the description indicating how the mistake had been made, he felt his heart sink. Neal wasn't his brother after all.

Sitting the documents down, he stared absentmindedly out at the empty office below. They didn't have anything to hold them around so the entire team had gone home on time for a change. It was just a meeting running over and the initial decision to get a few things done towards his workload that had caused Peter to still be around, otherwise, he'd be at home with his wife. As it was, he was glad for the privacy for his initial disappointment.

For the first time in his life he'd had the taste of family, but it slipped through his fingers like smoke he'd tried to grasp for so long only to miss when he had his chance. Sighing, he was sad to think it might be the closest he ever came to finding family, biological family, without having his own which was a whole other situation that didn't seem to be happening either.

Running his hands over his face, he hesitated before picking up the phone and dialing the agency. Asking for the man who processed his records, Peter asked him why the test had different results the second time.

There was the sound of some paper ruffling as he pulled his copies of the data out of his records. "The results aren't different. You and Neal Caffrey are brothers."

Ending the conversation, Peter was confused. If the original documents showed them as brothers, then he was looking at forged records?

Growing angry with Neal, he packed up his desk for the night and moved down to his brother's. It didn't take him long going through the drawers before he found the unopened files that had been mailed to him and Neal. Opening his copy, Peter read through the confirmation that they were indeed brothers.

Why had Neal forged this? Adding them both to his briefcase, he headed to June's where he intended to get answers.

By the time he reached June's, he was furious with the kid and he'd pulled the records so that he carried Neal's forgery and Neal's copy up to the loft. He wasn't risking his own copy.

Slapping them down on the table, Peter wasn't surprised to see Neal's startled glance towards him and then the envelopes. He knew he'd been caught.

Looking at the man, Peter was glad Neal wasn't wearing one of the suits, he was dressed more casually which meant he didn't have that armor to hide behind. "Care to explain why I have two different results with only one matching the original data from the agency?"

Peter hadn't expected Neal's reaction when he next looked up at him. His brow was furrowed and a storm brewed in his eyes. "How dare you! When you read the results, you said we weren't brothers, we were nothing alike. That I was the con and you were the cop so there must have been some kind of mistake. It isn't the first time you've insinuated that I am a criminal or that it's all I ever was or will be in your eyes, so I'm not surprised that you asked for the test to be redone suspecting an error."

"So, you went and stole my mail before forging it? That's a series of criminal activities," Peter started into the justice speeches he had come up with on the drive over only to be overridden.

Raising his voice, Neal spoke over him while his hands were fisted by his side. "I gave you what you wanted! You didn't have to know anything; you could have gone on with your happy life with a family who loves you and a wife who adores you. There would have been no criminal shadowing your perfect life outside of the office." Then he waved his hands through the air in dramatic effect before he started to pace in his anger. "But no, the great Peter Burke can't let sleeping dogs lie and you just had to go and research in order to find the truth! Couldn't you leave off the archeologist just this once? For once, couldn't you have let me be in obscurity? Wasn't your absolute rejection enough?" Trying to rein his emotions in, he turned more serious while his pacing continued. "Now we have to deal with this. I know you don't want me for a brother, you made that perfectly clear, so I doubt you'll want to advertise to the greater FBI, but there is also the official ramifications of an agent handling his younger brother. The superiors will probably either worry that it's a liability or they'll be gung ho thinking it gives you leverage to control me which will be good for my rehabilitation which would mean you're stuck with me." Throwing out his hands again, Neal was frustrated. "Seriously, this messes up everything! We were something of friends before, but now I guess we're just a con and a cop again." Snorting, he stopped pacing and turned on Peter. "Congratulations, you put us both in a trap neither of us wants. I'm taking a walk; feel free to let yourself out."

Peter had tried to speak up some through the rant, but he hadn't been able to counter Neal's accusations in his surprise as he hadn't expected such an attack from the usually calm and collected con man. He'd never seen Neal so upset before so he wasn't sure how to approach this man. Then he lost his opportunity as the door shut with a slammed bang behind the kid.

Wincing, Peter stood fingering the envelopes for a few moments as he tried to catch up to what had just been said. Then he pulled out a chair and sat down to run his fingers through his hair while he reflected on what Neal had accused him of before he had stormed out of the room.

First, he'd only thought those things, hadn't he? Going through their conversations of the week, he realized that he'd been making little comments of distinction ever since they'd both known about their adoption history and coming meetings. He'd joked about Neal having appointments at other agencies because he only knew about his criminal history and nothing about his personal life beyond a few acquaintances, then he'd remarked that it wasn't like they were going to be related. Now that he was thinking about it, Neal had gotten defensive at the insinuation towards his criminal career while he had also fallen silent after the comment that they couldn't be brothers. What if Neal had been smiling at the agency because he was glad that they were brothers? That meant that his eagerness to provide his DNA wasn't out of lack of conviction in their connection, but rather pain at his rejection. Neal had probably wanted to do anything to get out of there, to try and forget that it had ever happened.

Picking up his phone, Peter tried calling the agency again and was surprised to find that the man was still in his office. Asking some questions, it didn't take him long to discover that he'd been talking out loud when he thought about his doubts about their connection. He'd not been loud, but in an office with two other silent people, there was nothing to prevent them from hearing his mutters clearly. Ashamed, he asked about how Neal had handled the situation. Being his handler and older brother while being the reason for his brother's pain, it would make it easier to approach him if he knew how much damage he'd done.

"I've never seen a situation play out so badly in my career. He looked happy when he reached the results and learned that you were brothers, but when he glanced over and saw your downcast expression, his had fallen quickly. When you started making comments, his face changed to neutral to hide his emotions. As a result, it didn't surprise me when Caffrey asked for his records to be removed from all databases. He never wants to experience being put in that chair again." The man had been frank and open with his description of what had transpired. Although he knew they were having problems, there was no sense hiding the pain of one to spare the other.

Apologizing for his behavior, Peter asked for his information to remain in the database so that there was an access point for discovery on the off chance it should be needed. Neal wasn't looking anymore, but that didn't mean there wouldn't be someone else someday.

With the guilt fully resting on his shoulders, Peter finished his call and went back to running his hands along his face. Neal had been dressed casually like he'd just come from the gym so Peter knew he could walk or run to work through his frustrations, but it was the chance that he'd run that worried him.

Pulling out his phone, he linked up the app for the tracker and sat watching the little dot for a while as he thought.

Neal was moving rather quickly along the edge of his radius weaving along just inside of his limit. He seemed restrained like he'd be over that line and far away if he could be, but something was holding him back.


Continuing to walk, it was good exercise and it helped burn through the initial hurt and anger Neal was feeling. The emotions wouldn't go away, but maybe he could get them under control.

Much like it had been after his conversation with Ellen, Neal wanted to run so badly, to leave this mess behind and become someone new. However, this time he didn't have an escape to look forward to. He wasn't in Witness Protection and his assignment was long term. There was no change in sight so he was trapped in a two-mile radius under the watchful eyes of his brother, a man who didn't want him.

Weaving along the streets, Neal couldn't walk the exact edge of his radius as it cut through buildings and other obstacles but he knew his limits so he remained as close to the edge as possible, particularly in a direction that would take him away from Peter. Avoiding his brother was made easier by the tracker he'd placed in the agent's phone. He always knew where Peter was almost as surely as Peter knew his location at all times.

Using the time while Peter stubbornly remained at his loft to come up with a game plan, Neal tried to figure out how to handle the situation. The best option he could come up with was what Peter was asking for. They would be the cop and the con. No more friendly conversations, no hanging out outside of the office, no effort to try and lighten the atmosphere with coffee or jokes, none of the extra stuff that made this assignment bearable. Instead, Neal would do his job, be serious, and go home. It wasn't like he couldn't do that, he'd done it all of the years he'd been Bryce Larkin, but it had been different in the CIA where you went on missions and didn't spend every day in an office with the same people. Sighing, he knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he could come up with a few means to handle the situation. He was a good spy after all.


As the shadows drew out, Peter remembered the pieces he hadn't paid attention to before, and slowly he'd compiled the picture of exactly how he'd broken the relationship with his brother before it had even gotten started. The echoes of Neal's voice as he quoted his words back at him replayed in his own voice as if he was experiencing a horrible movie unable to stop himself as he saw the images of Neal's expressions as he hurt him time and again. Folding his arms on the table and leaning forwards into them, he found himself crying. In only a few moments, he had reacted without thinking and it had been the biggest mistake of his personal life. Worse, he didn't know if he would be able to fix it.

After a while, he had slowed down to sniffling and wiped his eyes. Checking his phone again, he realized that Neal was still walking the perimeter and hadn't calmed down.

Pacing around the loft, Peter tried to come up with something, anything to say to fix this, but he couldn't come up with the right words. Then another round of monitoring the tracking data showed Neal starting to occasionally weave towards the loft, but then he'd veer away. Almost like he knew Peter was still there and was avoiding him.

Sighing, Peter decided to head home so that Neal could return to his. If he was going to avoid him then there was only so much he could do without pushing him further away. He would need to fix this, but it wasn't going to be a quick process. This was going to take time, effort, and careful consideration to rectify.

Heading out, Peter passed June in the hallway on his way towards the stairs. Unable to look her in the eyes, he gave her notice of the general situation. "Neal's extremely upset. It's entirely my fault, but I don't think he's going to forgive me anytime soon, if ever. Please keep an eye on him; he's probably going to need it." He'd need someone to make sure he was alright and he certainly wasn't going to allow Peter to be that person for a while.

Although she had been frosty with him, to begin with, June seemed to appreciate his honesty in taking the blame and consideration in wanting Neal taken care of. "He's kept to himself for the last week and isn't even conversing with Mozzie like he normally does. I'll make sure he's alright, but you need to fix this."

"I know, but it isn't going to be easy." Peter left to head home and consult his wife.


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