Visitors
It surprised Neal to hear familiar and yet unexpected voices as the elevator doors opened. Listening as they walked across the hallway, he confirmed that he had indeed heard Beckman and Roan approaching White Collar. What were they doing?
Keeping his head down and pretending to work, Neal continued to listen as they entered the office and were confronted by Jones and Diana. Stating their purpose of visiting Peter, Neal was almost certain that the Roan and Diane Peter had reported being their parents were the very same ones standing only a few feet from him.
Relieved to hear the voices move away and up towards his brother's office, Neal came up with an excuse to leave so that he was in the back hallways while the visit occurred. Whatever was transpiring, he didn't want to be present for it.
Taking his time dawdling at the errand, he added in a scenic walk to the supply closet. Thinking as he went, he started going over the information he'd encountered thus far.
First, his parents had Peter and then him. They were fully biological brothers so their parents had been in a relationship long enough to produce at least two children. Roan and Diane had been romantically involved for decades, perhaps longer than had been generally known so they were possible candidates.
Second, both he and Peter had been abandoned. Either their parents didn't want them or, perhaps, they couldn't keep them? Stephen and Mary had gotten married dedicating themselves to their relationship and raising a family which resulted in them having Ellie and Chuck. However, Roan and Diane had never solidified their relationship by marriage as each was more dedicated to working and Roan wasn't the kind to remain with one woman. Could it be that they weren't in a stable relationship able to balance the parenting tasks with their work, was there something about their work that made it unsafe to raise children in those years, or maybe they were struggling with a combination so they put their children up for adoption as infants?
Snorting, Neal suddenly found himself amused at the imagery of either agent trying to handle an infant. Sure, they could manage the basic tasks as they were both smart and capable, but somehow he wasn't having much luck seeing them in such a loving and caring parental fashion. Was it because he'd always seen them as legendary agents, or was it because they weren't children people?
Growing more adjusted to the idea that they could be his parents; Neal continued to think about his past encounters with them.
Stopping in his tracks, he remembered his class with Roan in a new light. When the man kept watching him, was it because he knew he was his father, or was it because he recognized the similarity and wondered? That was something he'd have to ask the man if he got the chance.
Then resuming his walk, he thought about Beckman. If she was his mother there was the awkward fact that she had ordered his death when he was undercover in Operation Sandwall. More recently though, she obviously knew about her connection to Peter when he was in the coma as she said she knew his parents, which explained how she knew them and why she was so eager to help save his life. But, did she know about him in either of those situations, or was he just some agent crossing her path? She knew their connection at least since he'd told her that Peter was his brother. However, he still had no idea what that would mean. There hadn't been any communication with her recently beyond his basic contacts to check-in.
Sighing as he reached the supply closet, Neal knew they were present to meet Peter, but they hadn't asked for him and didn't seem to pay any attention to his presence as they were still standing in the walkway when Jones and Diana approached them. They weren't moving towards his desk and Peter hadn't contacted asking for him to join the meeting. This was a private conversation.
Opening the door to be confronted by shelves of supplies, Neal pretended to look for a particular item. On one side, Neal was glad Peter had this chance to meet their parents and make his own first impression. But on the other, he wondered if he would have been welcomed if he had followed them up and attempted to join in said meeting. After so much rejection in his life, it had become second nature for him to assume the worst. Far too often it had been confirmed in the long run.
Closing the door, he slowly meandered his way back towards his desk. When he reached the office, he was glad to see Peter back to work and the visitors gone. Uncertain of his feelings, he resumed his work for the limited time remaining until the day would be done.
Minutes later, Peter was locking down his office before he ducked into Hughes' office for another side conversation. Since their boss knew of their relationship, Peter often ducked in to update him on anything that had changed or for advice on how to handle their interactions. Would Hughes figure out who their parents were, or would he fall for the civilian ploy they would have employed? They hadn't introduced themselves with title or rank so they were trying to remain low-key for as long as possible.
Peter soon stepped out and made his way down the stairs and across the office before he came to another stop in front of his desk.
"Neal?" There was a tapping of Peter's finger on the empty corner in a specific fashion.
Looking up, Neal tried to keep his face neutral to hide the chaos of emotions going on inside.
"I'm picking you up in the morning. There are a few things we need to talk about." Then he smirked softly as if he was amused, "probably more by then, but definitely a few things to start with." His finger continued to tap and Neal was automatically picking up on the action.
Nodding, Neal tried to duck back to his work, but Peter turned back with more to add.
"Oh, and they didn't specify how, but they know you and will catch up later." Tapping on the desk again, Peter finished his Morse Code to say, 'u not forgoten.' "I mean it, Neal. See you in the morning."
Free to resume his task, Neal used the case as a means to remain at his desk and avoid the risk of another encounter until well after Peter had left. Apparently, he had been a topic of the conversation in his absence, but he'd have to wait to learn what had been said.
Later in the evening, Neal had his easel up and was trying to distract himself from his questions with a character approved past time. Working on the painting, he put his focus into the colors and brush strokes in an effort to prevent his mind from wandering into the painful topic of family.
He had learned a lot about where he came from so it wasn't as painful, but it was still a difficult topic for him.
Hearing the creak on the landing and June's voice directing visitors to his door, he had an advanced warning of their arrival just before her knock echoed through the loft.
Putting his brushes aside and beginning the process of cleaning up, Neal turned to see his expected visitors. Roan and Beckman were standing in less formal versions of their previous attire as Roan had changed his suit while Beckman was wearing a smart dress instead of a business suit.
Smiling at June, he complimented her dress before greeting the agents standing next to her showing his familiarity with who they were. "These are Peter's parents and acquaintances of mine." He ignored Beckman's raised eye-brow and the glance exchanged between her and Roan while bidding June goodnight.
Once his landlady had left giving them privacy to talk, Neal continued to work on cleaning up his supplies while leaving Beckman and Roan to initiate the conversation they'd come to have.
"I assume you have theories and questions?" Beckman opened the conversation while moving towards the table that stood in between them.
"Your work is obviously the reasoning behind your actions. It wouldn't be easy to raise kids while being a spy, let alone two singles ones." He stated the fact to retain his distance from the topic while focusing on the work it took to clean the paint off of the brush in his hand.
"Although Peter didn't tell us, we know you feel absolutely rejected," Roan commented as a reminder that he was present while he too moved forward towards the table.
"He indicated that I was a topic of your conversation." Neal wasn't going to admit to any emotions as it was ingrained in spy training to be emotionless and unattached.
"Your brother figured out that we know each other and had questions." Beckman made the statement and then watched his reaction.
Freezing, Neal hoped Peter hadn't lumped them in with him as criminals, that wouldn't bold well for him opening up to the agents and getting to know them. "Did he try and discern your criminal associations?"
"No, is there a reason he would have?" Roan asked as he turned from watching Neal's initial reaction to retrieving glasses and a bottle from the rack.
Shrugging, Neal tried to downplay Peter's erroneous assumption. "He knows me as a criminal first and seeks the criminal connections in any of my associates. Being the agent who arrested me and who is responsible for my work release, he tries to keep an eye on anything that might get me into trouble." Painting Peter as the diligent agent wasn't a bad perspective and it was fitting considering his situation.
"Are you referring to your conversation with Peter where he said you were a criminal and nothing more?" Beckman verbally poked him while Roan passed her the first glass.
Flinching, Neal didn't know how they knew, but the spies had obviously done their reconnaissance work. He didn't answer the question and instead tried to keep his focus on cleaning the brush in an effort to retain his stoic façade.
"Come, we need to talk," Beckman ordered while Roan finished setting a glass down for him and getting comfortable with his own drink.
Having finished his brushes, Neal was hesitant to obey the command, but he ultimately decided to go along with it. He was part curious, part afraid, and part simply trained to obey commands, particularly those uttered in such a tone that didn't indicate the tolerance of disobedience.
Passing Beckman Neal's laptop, Roan was taking an assistant approach to the conversation while allowing Beckman to lead.
Neal sipped his drink and used it for a distraction while watching in his peripheral as Beckman hacked into his computer and linked into a system he didn't recognize.
"I created this program years ago for our private purposes. Your father and I have always used it to keep an eye on you boys to the best of our abilities." Beckman explained why it was unfamiliar.
Intrigued, Neal shifted to holding the glass on the table so that he could focus on the contents of what she was showing him.
Linking it up to the television in the Burke's living room, Beckman let Neal see and hear what was transpiring as Peter and Elizabeth arrived home.
'Are you going to tell Neal in the morning? I mean, you spent most of your first meeting with your mutual parents talking about him.' Elizabeth was asking Peter.
There was some noise as Satchmo moved to greet them at the door for pets and attention. 'Yes, I already told him that I'm picking him up in the morning so that we can talk and tapped on his desk in Morse Code that he wasn't forgotten.'
'You said that, but I meant if you were going to tell him that you were protecting him from these strangers who showed an interest in meeting him before you knew how they knew of him. He should know that as it's another way to show how you don't see him as just a criminal, but as the little brother you always wanted and are protective of.' Elizabeth seemed to be doing something with Satchmo while Peter sighed and moved into a seat visible from the television camera.
'Oh, believe me, I've been trying to slowly work on him, but he doesn't trust me and I can't blame him.' Leaning forward tiredly to put his face in his hands, Peter was allowing an emotional side he didn't tend to share with anyone other than Elizabeth, a side Neal had seen glimpses of since Peter had taken the bullet for him. 'For the first time in my life, I found blood family, only to totally blow it. I still can't believe I was such an idiot and made what may be the biggest mistake of my life in a thoughtless moment. Tonight was supposed to be about meeting our parents, but everything has had Neal in it. Neal was the focus of our conversation at the office, his shadow hovered over dinner because he wasn't actually there, and even on the drive home we went from talking through our first impressions about them to discussing Neal. As much as I want to know them, Neal is more important to me than our biological parents.'
Sitting on the side of the chair, Elizabeth leaned in to hug Peter and kissed his head while Satchmo rested his chin on Peter's knee. 'He isn't completely shutting you out anymore so at least you can resume something of your friendly relations from before, but I can't say whether he'll ultimately forgive you or not.'
'Neither can I, and that's what terrifies me.' Peter leaned into Elizabeth and Neal was uncertain, but he thought he saw something wet reflecting the light off of Peter's cheek.
"It's been easy to keep an eye on Peter. His parents live in the same house they did when they adopted him so we've been able to find ways to monitor him growing up. We've known the basics of his life all along whether it was Little League, his school play, graduation, and so on. Now we keep an eye on his home, his work, and his FBI file so that we know the basics of what's going on." Beckman snapped his attention back to the loft, but he kept his eyes on the Burkes. "This is partially for our personal knowledge, to know where our son is and what's become of him, just because we couldn't raise him ourselves doesn't mean we aren't interested, and partially for professional reasons to ensure our enemies never find him."
He hadn't been mentioned once in that speech so Neal kept his focus on his brother and couldn't look at his parents.
"You, on the other hand, haven't been as easy to keep tabs on." Beckman had him turning towards her curiously. They had monitored him too?
"We knew everything about you growing up, for the first three years anyway. It was easiest of all to keep tabs on you as we were both stationed in Washington back then and you were nearby. My favorite part was when we could visit the neighborhood park and watch the Bennetts play with you on the playground. Your favorite was the little slide so your father stood at the top and let you go while your mother caught you giggling at the bottom. It was better than through cameras or recordings, we got to watch and hear you live." Beckman got a little smile on her face and her eyes took on a distant quality.
Glancing over at Roan, Neal was surprised to see a similar expression on his face before they joined hands enjoying the memory.
"Do you remember that time we visited the precinct and Neal got away from James? Every officer in the building was looking for the tike and it wasn't until he was discovered in an office wearing the Chief's hat that things settled down. It was the longest time I've ever spent trying to get information out of a clerk." Roan looked proud of the fond memory.
Giving them a few moments, Neal sat back to absorb what he was understanding from the conversation. First, Peter really did mean that he was sorry for what he'd said and the overtures he'd been making to repair the damage were just the surface of what he felt. Second, it meant that his parents hadn't abandoned him; they had been watching him and they clearly had their favorite memories from his childhood. Not allowing himself to relax too much, Neal was glad to have hope, but he was afraid to let his defenses go for fear of things changing.
A hand touched his and made him jolt back to attention. Looking up, Roan and Beckman were watching him as he processed the situation.
"You lost track of me when I went into Wit-Sec." It was a statement, not a question. They'd already said they'd easily monitored him until he was three.
"Yes," Roan answered. "The last time I saw you, you were having dinner with your mother. You were begging for an ice cream cone and she didn't seem to have the money so I dropped a bill on the table large enough to cover the costs. She was nervous and had you thank me, but she ordered the ice cream cone, and you were focused on it when I left. I was being sent to Langley to train my first class and wasn't going to be in the city anymore so I made sure to see you first as I wasn't going to be around anymore."
Nodding, Beckman shared her story. "I watched you in the park on your regular visit knowing I had a long-term assignment overseas coming up. It was several months before I got back and by then there was nothing left to indicate where you were or what had happened to you in the system. What little I could get access to without raising any flags wasn't enough. Roan and I had to officially give you up then. Although you crossed our paths in various ways after you entered the agency, we didn't know you were our son until you called me about Peter."
"Not even when we were matched in the adoption agency?" Neal wondered how they had missed that.
"Neal Caffrey is an alias from your loan assignment so I wasn't paying much attention to it beyond your check-ins. You were an agent, a good one, but still, just an agent. As for Peter, we knew he'd entered his information but as we weren't in the database and the odds were against you being there so we didn't monitor those records. There wasn't any reason to as there was nothing to find, or so we thought." Beckman explained.
"Why didn't you say anything when I called, or since for that matter?" Neal questioned before he could stop himself. With it out, he waited for their responses.
Turning his attention back to the laptop, Beckman shifted it her way removing the view of the now empty seat where Peter had previously occupied and replaced it with a different area of the program. Angling it back for Neal to see, she started walking him through the things she had been able to compile since their conversation. "It's not safe to put everything, but at least some of this can be filled in since we now know who you became."
Agreeing with her, Neal was surprised to see his records from growing up as Danny added into the previous contents of him as Neal Bennett while there were allusions to him through references to Bryce Larkin with a focus on Neal Caffrey. His parents had verified and backfilled his identity building his file up to be closer to the size of Peters.
All too soon, it was getting late and Roan called it a night first by saying Neal needed to get a decent night's sleep as Peter was going to be along to talk to him in the morning.
Remembering the impending visit with his brother, Neal wondered what Peter had in mind. He knew more than his brother did in many respects, but he still wanted to know what would be said.
Standing up and moving around to pat him on the shoulder, Roan reminded him that he had been lost, but never forgotten. Then he clasped his shoulder in a fatherly manner before heading for the door.
Beckman stood with a lingering glance at him as if mentally tallying up the changes from her little son to the man he had become. Then with her usual abrupt behavior, she told him goodnight and left with Roan.
Neal wasn't surprised to see her personal program logged out on his computer, but he was glad to know it existed and that she had shared some of the content. He'd seen Peter in his private time and there was the promise of more specific recordings during their stay. It appeared that his entire family was determined to ensure he felt welcomed and loved.
Maybe, maybe if they tried hard enough they could help him overcome his defenses. He had always wanted a family, to be loved, but things had never worked out before so he didn't know if he could let his guard down enough to let them in all the way.
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