(A/N: HI, GUYS! As I'm sure you've guessed, this is a sequel to my "Top of the Line" fic! From, like, a year ago...feel free to go read/reread that before this, it'll maybe probably enhance this, maybe. Now, RRREAD ON)
"CRAZY TACO NIIIGHT!" the ecstatic GIR ran along the walls and ceiling, filling the base with the squeaks of his puppy suit. "YAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
"We're only going again because these coupons are still valid!" insisted Zim. He kissed his stack of them. "So. Very. Valid. Now come down here or we aren't going at all!"
"Okie-dokie, Yolky!" the SIR plopped down beside his master.
"What's all the squeakin' about?" Skoodge climbed out from behind the couch. "Where y'all going?"
"The Crazy Taco. If I don't take GIR, he'll be screaming like this all night," Zim replied, reaching for the doorknob. "You aren't invited."
"Oh, uhh," Something about this made Skoodge fidgety. "Before you leave the sanctity of this house, you might wanna know—"
But he was a tad too late, for Zim had opened the door and there, leaning against the doorframe, was none other than Tak. The full moon behind her glowed upon the cluttered remains of the lawn gnomes. She wore a forced smile.
"Howdy."
"..." Zim went to shut the door, but she stuck her leg in the way. "Why can't you quit me?"
"Listen," hissed Tak. "You owe me a rematch."
"Zim owes you nothing but a door to the face!" He resumed shoving at it. "Hit the space road, crazy!"
"Hold it! Circumstances last time were a little...unorthodox, let's say. Don't you think we ought to have a proper battle between our SIRs?"
"Not interested! I've already proven my superiority! Now get off my planet!"
Screeching with exertion, he managed to inch her out of the doorway and close it.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"GET OUT HERE, COWARD!" bellowed Tak. "I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU AGREE TO A FIGHT! QUIT WASTING TIME, ZIM! YOU WUSS! YOU CHICKEN! YOU INVERTEBRATE! YOU SISSY! YOU...!"
Zim backed away from the door as she continued pounding on it. He took a deep breath before turning to Skoodge. "How long have you known she was out there, exactly?"
"A while. But you seemed pretty busy cutting those coupons, I didn't wanna interrupt..."
"How did she get here?!"
"I dunno, the tourney was weeks ago. She's had plenty of time to get stuff done."
"Well, consider us under lockdown," Zim's brow furrowed at his casual answers. "GIR, you're having reheated tacos for dinner!"
"NO...!" GIR teared up. "No, we were gonna go to the TACO...!"
"GIR, it's the same thing, just—!"
"WAAaaAAaAAGHh!" The robot's sobs were especially grating mixed with Tak's dreadful row outside.
"You know what?" Zim plucked GIR up and tossed him into Skoodge's arms. "This is your problem. I have iguanas to experiment on and homework to procrastinate on."
So, Zim flushed himself down to the lab, leaving Skoodge to microwave the week-old tacos. He woefully dug through the fridge as GIR went on crying and Tak went on ranting.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"YELLOWBELLYYYY!"
XXXXXXXTHENEXTDAYXXXXXXX
The following morning, Zim rose out of the toilet feeling refreshed by the hours of important science stuff he got done.
He was also pleased to find the noise from the previous night had subsided...that, and Skoodge lay bruised and battered on the kitchen floor.
"Z...ZIM..." He shakily crawled up with a sheet of paper; it was covered in magazine clippings.
"Morning," greeted Zim. "Whatcha got there?"
"A...ransom note," Skoodge handed it over.
"Hmmm..." After skimming it, Zim gasped dramatically. "It's a ransom note!"
"..."
Anger crept into Zim's voice as he read it. "It says:
'Zim, if you're reading this, then I've taken your SIR Unit to my covert space station, which will also serve as the arena for our rematch. Coordinates are listed below, so don't make me wait! AhahahahahaHA! Yours fatally, Tak'
...who's Tak?"
"'Who's Tak'?!"
Zim gave a wordless shrug.
"That Irken who came and made that awful din at the door last night? Lost to you in the SIR Unit Tourney finals? Tried to hollow out the Earth and fill it with snacks, to steal your mission?" Skoodge recapped. "Tak?"
"...oh yeahhh, Tak! The fiendish fiend! I hate him!"
"Her."
"I hate her! And now she's absconded with GIR!" Zim growled. "How could you let this happen?!"
"I didn't expect her to break the door down. Plus, y'know, half my bones," murmured Skoodge. "Now what do we do?"
"Simple! Now I head to that station and retrieve my robot before he's driven any more loco! Then put that Tak in her place once and for all!" Zim declared irately. "Skoodge, you may accompany me as my official M.S. in chief."
"You mean your Moral Support?"
"My Meat Shield."
"Even better!"
XXXXXXXSPAAACEXXXXXXX
As the Voot Cruiser rounded the moon, having nearly reached its destination, Skoodge was wrapping up a tangent.
"...I just don't get why she'd bother making the note out of clippings if she was gonna sign her name anyway. And what other suspects were there? She wasn't wearing a disguise. Even if she did write it by hand, it's not like that would've been a dead giveaway or anything."
"Yeah, real head-scratcher," Zim tried to focus on piloting so he wouldn't throttle Skoodge. "Sheesh, you sound almost as desperate as Tak."
"That reminds me...I'm not so sure she's after you for the reasons you think."
"Heh? What makes you say that?"
"I dunno, just about everything she says. And everything she does. And pretty much everything about her gives the impression that she hates you."
"Skoodge...how many times do I have to tell you? She's beyond sick in the head; she's lovesick in the head! Of course she doesn't make sense. But she knows the only way to get to me is by pulling stunts like this. Why else do you think she wants me to acknowledge her alleged superiority so badly, huh?"
"I don't...know..."
"Exactly...WE'RE HERE! Tak's evil lair!"
"'Peas'?"
"Heh?"
"It says 'peas' on the side."
"Hm, so it does..."
They'd arrived at the shadowy old space station as per Tak's directions. It was shaped sort of like a tall cylinder with a pronounced dome at the top. Despite its dilapidated appearance, the place's metal looked strong, and had this intricate wiring all over it, with scratched out letters leaving only "_P_ _E _AS_". Almost as though it'd served some greater purpose...BUT THAT ASIDE, the Voot touched down on the rim of the dome by the only visible entrance and the two Irkens climbed out of the ship.
"So...maybe there doesn't have to be a fight?" Skoodge suggested as they headed in. "Maybe we could grab GIR and go without any conflict."
"Somehow I doubt that."
"Why?"
CLANG!, a steel door slammed down behind them.
"Because I'm pretty sure that was the only exit."
With a sigh, they started up the long hallway, towards the light.
Meanwhile, at the end of this hallway, Tak paced back and forth in the main chamber, between a privacy screen and a set of black-&-white monitors bunched into the corner; GIR watched them with a vacant grin as he wolfed down his tacos.
"I need those upgrades done, he should arrive any minute now! What's taking so long?!"
"Just a couple finishing touches!" Tenn called from behind the screen. She slid her goggles back on and continued welding MiMi. "Sheesh."
"He's...!" One of the surveillance monitors caught Tak's eye. "He's here! Zim's here!"
GIR gasped excitedly. "Papi! How'd he get on TV?"
"Forget your 'finishing touches', Tenn!" Tak turned the monitors off with a hi-tech remote control. "Whatever you've done, I'm sure it's enough!"
Tenn exhaled heavily. "If you say so."
Nearing the central dome, Zim and Skoodge noticed pictures of Zim were tacked haphazardly to the hallway walls; all with his face scribbled out.
"Crazyyy," he whispered to Skoodge.
Finally though, they did reach that big chamber where Tak was waiting.
She came striding up to the duo, dragging GIR behind her by his leg.
"Ah, Zim," she greeted. "...and Skoodge. Don't recall inviting you..."
"I'm here as a meat shield!" he said with pride.
"Got it..."
"Forget him!" snapped Zim. "Return GIR to me at once! I don't know what you think gIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TAKE MY—"
"Psst," Skoodge tapped him. "The way things are looking, maybe you should try a little diplomacy?"
"Heh?"
"You know. Diplomacy."
"Heughh. If it gets us out of here," grumbled Zim. He smoothed out his antennae. "GIR, come hither!"
"Yessir!" GIR toddled out from behind Tak. "Thanks for the TV!"
Zim slung the SIR over his shoulder, followed by a curtsy-like motion. "Good maiden, would you be so KIND as to open the door and let me...US leave? Please?"
"Hmm, let me think about i—NO!" snarled Tak. "You're not going anywhere until you've finally given me what I want!"
"Fine, fine. But only on the hand, I don't want to catch anything," Zim conceded, only for her to smack him across the face. "OWW!"
"NOT THAT, YOU DOLT! WHAT I WANT IS A REMATCH!"
"...denial," he muttered to Skoodge before turning back towards Tak. "A-hah-alright, if that's how you're gonna be about it, our SIRs can have your pwecious rematch. I'm assuming you wish to wager on this?"
"Of course. If I—"
"IF I WIN, then I get to leave this dingy space station, return to Earth, and keep my prize belts! And you have to find someone else to obsess over!"
"Keep your crummy belts...AHEM! If I win, then I get to take over Earth and you shall remain trapped here until the day you die," Tak cracked a smile at the thought. "As for rules, our SIRs will simply do battle until one of them is rendered unable to continue. A single round for everything. Is that a deal?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Wait! Wait! Wait, wait!" Skoodge cut in. "O-On the off chance he happens to lose, I won't be stuck here, will I?!"
"Why wouldn't you be?"
"What about ME?!" Tenn peeped out from behind her privacy screen. "You're just gonna leave me, with them?!"
"Shut up, this is between Zim and I!" Tak buried her face in her hands. "Ughhh, how about this? You can each place a bet on whoever you think the victor will be, and if you're right, you'll be free to go. In other words, you should side with me if you feel like having a future of any kind."
"Well, I have faith in Zim!" asserted Skoodge. "I'll bet on him!"
"I dunno if I'd say I have 'faith' in you, Tak." Tenn twiddled her thumbs. "Are you serious about letting me go if you win?"
"Do I look serious?" Tak sneered back at her.
"...fine, then. I bet on you."
"Blah, blah, BLAHHH! Let's do this already, it's humid in here!" said the impatient Zim. "For what's inevitably going to be a 5-second match, this is a rather lengthy preamble. You don't stand a chance against an invader like me, Tak, even if GIR is without his Ultimate Duty Mode!"
"He is?" Skoodge blinked. "Is it too late to change m—"
"YES! Now SIDDOWN!" Tak shooed him and Tenn away; they sidled over to rows of empty seats resembling those of a movie theater. The purple-eyed Irken gave Zim a few condescending pokes to the forehead. "As for you, I'll grant you a minute to prepare. You know. In the name of fairness."
"HMPH!" Zim swatted her hand off. "Don't think I've forgotten about that property damage you left behind! OH, you're going to pay with interest!"
GIR peeked over his shoulder at them. "Yeah, YEAH! Spit on her, Master!"
"NO!" they blustered, retreating to each end of the ring.
Zim began poking around inside GIR's head, and Tak slunk past the privacy screen to inspect MiMi.
Meanwhile, Tenn and Skoodge sat on the sidelines in awkward silence.
"So!" Skoodge began. "What're you 'in for'...?"
"For my 'grade-A engineering skills'. At least that's what Tak tells me."
"Oh! That's pretty flattering, right?"
"..." Tenn grimaced. "I've been held here against my will for weeks, with nothing to do but repair Tak's robot, and nothing to eat but saltine crackers."
"Sorry."
"Now I can look forward to an eternity of crackers if those skills weren't good enough...well...? Why do you believe in Zim so much? Are you two friends all of a sudden?"
"I like to think so," Skoodge sank in his seat. "As cruel as Zim can be, I find comfort in there being someone who's been put through the wringer more than me. He's not so bad...I kind of get why Tak likes him."
"...what?"
"READY OVER THERE?" yelled Tak, startling everyone. "I ONLY GAVE YOU A MINUTE, REMEMBER!"
"DON'T YOU RUSH ME, I STILL HAVE 6 SECONDS!" Zim grouched back. He shut the snickering GIR's head compartment. "Well, looks like she didn't do anything to mess with you, so that's good. We'll win and be home in no time!"
"There's crazy tacos at home~!"
"Which are off-limits until further notice!"
"There's spaghetti at home."
"Spaghetti's fine."
Striding out from behind the screen, Tak proudly gestured towards MiMi.
The SIR Unit now stood taller than her mistress, and her limbs were even bulkier from all the new weaponry. Her metal exterior seemed to have been replaced with layers of a more flexible alloy, and only her head was really reminiscent of her previous form.
"Oh my GAMMIT!" GIR interjected. "Check out MiMi! She got all swole!"
"GIR..."
"Whoa! Really, look, Master! LOOOOK!"
"GIR."
"No way is that...! Oh, my garnet!"
"GIR! ENOUGH!" barked Zim. "Go show that overgrown air fryer who's boss! Which is me!"
"YESSIR!" GIR saluted, flashing red. He approached MiMi, and beckoned her closer. "COME AT ME!"
Eyes glinting, MiMi took a single step forward to emphasize how much she towered over him. Her body split down the middle, revealing an enormous blaster. Its barrel jutted out of her right down onto GIR and glowed with crimson electricity as it charged up.
Zim's jaw dropped. "GIR, MOVE!"
"WHAT?" GIR turned around. "Can't hear you over this lasah!"
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"
"I AM HAVING A GOOD DAY!"
"YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE DESTROYED!"
"YAAAAA—"
BWOOOOMSHH
The entire dome was bathed in the scorching light of the immense beam, and all four Irkens shielded themselves from the force of it. MiMi closed back up, deeming her target eliminated. When the smoke cleared, there was nothing but a smoldering stain where GIR once stood.
"...AGH!" Zim jumped as his SIR's charred, dented head dropped into his hands; it was all that remained of him.
"BLUHAGHH!" the robot coughed. "I did good, Master? I DID GOOD?"
Tak smirked. "Looks like I win."
"Well, get some glasses and look again!" sputtered Zim. "G-GIR hasn't been destroyed yet! And he can still fight...!"
"Don't bother with excuses, your SIR is in the same condition mine was after our first bout. I'd call this a solid victory for me. I'm out of here," Tak whipped out the central remote to the station. "Tenn, come with me now if you wa—AACK!"
She yelped as the disembodied head of GIR was suddenly flung at her. Reeling backwards, she struck him again and again, but his jaw was clamped onto her wrist. Amidst this tussle, she dropped the remote and Zim bolted straight to it.
"HA! GOT IT! Blehhh...!" He ran his tongue over all the buttons. "And now it's mine forever!"
"Ughh," Tak continued wrestling with GIR. "How old ARE you?"
"How old are YOU?! WAGH!" Zim was hoisted into the air by MiMi; she had such a tight grip on his antennae, he felt them sizzling. "Yuh-oh."
"Nice work, MiMi!" Tak flicked GIR's head aside. "Now retrieve my remote! After you...wipe it off. I've got a mission to claim!"
Trembling, Zim wrapped himself around the remote as MiMi's free hand neared him. He didn't know what to do, but he couldn't let her take it. Panic set in. He had to, he had to...!
With a desperate grunt, Zim threw the remote down as hard as he could, and it shattered to pieces against the metal floor. The sound of it shorting out reverberated through the space station, then the lights dimmed.
As shock overtook everyone, MiMi prodded the broken fragments of the remote. She set Zim down and sat holding herself, ashamed that she failed to carry out Tak's order.
As for Tak, she'd gone from shocked to enraged. "You...YOU IMBECILE!"
"GAH, NOT AGAIIIN...!" Zim hacked out as she strangled him.
"That remote was my only means of controlling this place! It's completely shut down without it!" she fumed. "RRRGHH, BUT OF COURSE YOU HAD TO SMASH IT!"
"Have no fear, your meat shield is here!" Skoodge knocked Zim out of the way so Tak could strangle him instead. "AGHH-H-H, b-but maybe there's still a chance...!"
"Tak, stop it!" Tenn dashed in and tugged at her. "This isn't helping, at least hear him out!"
"..." After releasing Skoodge, Tak brushed herself off. "The only reason you two are still breathing is because I was serious about letting you rot. So, what'd you have in mind, tubby?"
Skoodge took a painful breath before speaking. "A station this big must have an escape pod or two, right?"
"Don't you think I thought of that?" spat Tak. "According to MiMi's scanner, there is ONE escape pod located at the bottom of this station. And the lower decks are like a labyrinth, you're practically guaranteed to get lost down there."
"It's better than nothing! If we split up, we're sure to find it!"
"Very well. Tenn, take Skoodge! I'll search with ZIM..."
"NO!" Skoodge objected, clinging to his "friend". "You can't be alone with Zim! I know the wicked things you'll do to him!"
"YOU can't be alone with him either! Perhaps you missed the part where I forbade you from leaving? If you two find that pod first, you'll strand us here!"
"She has a point," Zim said plainly.
"Not making a very good case for us, pally."
"Alright!" Tenn cut in. "Let's just focus on finding this thing first! I'll go with Zim, and Skoodge can go with Tak! So it's fair. Right, Tak?"
"Yeah. Fair."
Skoodge gulped as Tak and MiMi shot him hateful looks. "So, this is what fairness looks like?"
"That's the meat shield life for ya," Zim tucked GIR's head under his arm.
"Oh, Master! You used the deo I gave youuu!"
"GIR, QUIT VOCALIZING EVERYTHING!"
So, Tak led everyone through the other hallway out of the dome, and down a short stairwell.
"Make sure to watch Zim closely," whispered Tak. "You know what I'll do if you let him screw this up for me."
"I know, I want out of here too," Tenn huffed. "You don't trust me?"
"Trust you? No. Trust my ability to intimidate you? We'll see."
At the base of the stairs, the group split in two as agreed, and proceeded along the passage in opposite directions.
GIR's eyes lit the way as Zim and Tenn stepped down the dark hallway. As they milled about in search of the next elevator or whatever, Zim caught wind of something strange; Tenn was becoming a nervous wreck. She was shaking and sweating and her breathing grew ragged. Tough as he was, this was starting to freak him out.
"Hey! This situation is troublesome enough without you hyperventilating! Show a little consideration."
"I'm just...anxious. If Tak finds that escape pod, I know she's going to ditch me here."
"Probably," Zim shrugged. "She's pretty horrible. And sort of...mmgh, off, in case you haven't noticed."
"You don't know the half of it." Malice seeped into Tenn's tone. "Right when I had Meekrob in the palm of my hand, SHE had to show up. Communications were down, so I had to report to the Tallest in person. And just as I caught up to the Armada, Tak came along and shot me down."
"Really? Is that what happened?" Zim feigned investment.
"She forced me onto her ship and brought me here. Initially, she didn't even tell me why. Turns out she just wanted me to beef up her SIR Unit for the rematch. She ranted about you all the time. And I mean ALL THE TIME."
"Sure sounds like her." Zim came across a pole and slid down it to the next floor. "Whee! Bet I can guess what she said about me."
"It wouldn't be hard. She must've used, like, every insult in the dictionary," Tenn followed him down the pole. "Whee! Admittedly, it was sort of impressive."
"Oh."
"Anyhow, when Tak explained herself, and I refused to do the deed, you know what she did?"
"What?"
"This machine she hooked me up to," Tenn quivered at the thought. "I can hardly describe what it did. It messed with my PAK, man! Made me see things, feel things, hear, smell and taste things I'll never forget. Like a vivid stream of nightmares. She threatened to trap me in there, at least long enough to drive me mad. Maybe I already am! I don't know how Tak even conceived such a device, and all for this...she's the most ruthless Irken I've ever met."
"Wow, incredible..." Zim paused at his own statement. "I mean, wow, terrible."
"See what we're dealing with? There's gotta be some failsafe...something of use against her, to keep her from screwing us over."
"Don't go throwing the 'u' word around! Who Tak intends to screw is no business of Zim's! I just want to return to Earth is all. OOH! Hello, secret door!"
"What?" Tenn whirled around to see Zim banging on a big, padded door.
"Locked! GIR, use your special robot vision to see what's behind it."
"I'm a robot?" queried GIR.
Zim smacked himself in the forehead. "At least tell me you can unlock it!"
"I can, I can, like marzipan!"
"Hold it! There's a 'danger' sign! Several, in fact." Tenn pointed out. "...then again, if Tak put them here, maybe this is just the leverage I need. But in that case, it must be highly reinforced and near-impossible to open—"
"BLUAHHH...!" GIR stuck his tongue through the crack of the door, and undid the latch on the other side. "Mmm, dusty!"
"DID IT!" Zim kicked it ajar.
Inside was a circular chamber lined with fancy consoles, and interlacing cords all over the floor. On one wall there was a wide (blank) screen, and in the room's center was a ceiling-high generator.
"It's the command center," gasped Tenn. "In here must be everything that was powering Tak's remote. If we get this place running again, we can reopen the exit! Or at least turn the lights back on."
"Good!" Zim tore a panel off the generator and ducked into it with GIR. "Because my allergies are starting to act up..."
"Allergies?" Tenn joined him under there. "To what, confinement? The dark?"
"I don't know you well enough to get into it."
Over on the opposite end of the space station, Skoodge was fumbling around with Tak and MiMi. His worry had settled down a bit because as hard as Tak was failing to conceal her anger, she was at least trying. MiMi was dragging her feet, seemingly disheartened by her mistress's mood.
"Yow!" Skoodge bumped into another wall. "Every time."
"This way!" Tak yanked him back towards her. "And pick up the pace! I will NOT face one more humiliation from ZIM..."
"Well, if I may play devil's advocate, you kinda forced his hand. And neither of you seem to get much outta these encounters of yours, so why not let bygones be bygones already?"
"Oh, shush!" Tak shoved ahead of him. "As if you know what you're talking about!"
"I know Zim! I bet all your, uh, 'relationship problems' could be resolved with a little extension of courtesy from one to the other. Huh?"
"...you're kidding."
"Nope! I can see this all ending on friendly terms. It's not like you and Zim are all that differe—"
"DON'T SAY IT. Just...don't say anything else." Tak peered down the chasm before them.
Grumbling, she positioned herself on the ladder and began her descent. Skoodge climbed down after her, while MiMi simply leapt to the lower level, using her jets to land safely.
They had only a moment of silence on that ladder before Skoodge felt the need to run his mouth again.
"Maybe you only have such harsh feelings towards Zim because you haven't spent enough time with him. He has his moments!"
"Ugh," Tak stepped down a bit faster.
"I bet if you got to know him better, you'd get along great. S'all about communication, in my experience."
"UGH..."
"Come to think of it, Zim probably doesn't know much about you either; I'm sure he'd like to. This morning, he said he hated you, but I don't think he really does. Not much, at least."
"I WISH HE DID!" blurted Tak. "I wish he'd just face reality and start behaving like an Irken! I wish I didn't constantly feel like I was wasting my life, trying to get that maniac out of it! I wish I didn't have to go to these ridiculous lengths just to get him to...! ...acknowledge me."
"..."
Tak scoffed as she and Skoodge finally reached the bottom of the ladder. "Forget I said anything."
"Oh, Tak. I think I get you now," he said with a dramatic flair. "You've come to crave that same validation from Zim everyone does deep down, it's like a dormant disease. That need to impress he who impresses only himself. Zim possesses this inexplicable quality which drives most away, but attracts others. And perhaps it's the fact that there's a little Zim in all of us, but few are willing to accept it."
"Dormant disease, you say...?" Tak had to admit, he sounded legit. (not that being a Zim expert was anything to brag about, but) "Well, do you happen to know how to cure it?"
"Oh, nah," Skoodge said flippantly. "But why would you want to, right?"
Before Tak could respond to that, the entire space station was jostled by some kind of electric surge. The lights flickered for a moment, but just as quickly shut back off.
The rush caused MiMi to curl up holding her head.
Tak's eyes widened in horror. "They DIDN'T."
"Who didn't what?" inquired Skoodge. "What was that?!"
"MIMI! Track down the source of that energy, take me to it right now!"
MiMi's scanner pinpointed the origin of the surge and she scooped Tak up.
"Hey, where ya going?!" Skoodge watched them rocket out of the abyss. He frowned back at the ladder. "...hoo, okay."
The race to the command center was no simple task for MiMi, and she exhausted nearly all her strength speeding over there.
She and Tak burst in to find Zim, GIR and Tenn digging around inside the generator.
"YOU. Get away from there this instant!"
Hearing Tak's voice, Tenn crawled out of the dynamo. "Why should we? Something in here you don't want us to find?"
"I had it locked up for a reason!" Tak scowled. "Fools, stop this now or we'll all b—!"
"Aha!" chirped Zim. "GIR, flip that switch!"
"BLEP!"
At this, all the lights turned back on and the station's circuitry hummed with new life. The letters "SC" appeared on the command monitor.
"Fixed it~!" Only then did Zim slide out of the machine. "Oh, hi, Tak. When did you get here?"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "You really are some type of moron, aren't you?"
"Yeah, your type...of...wait." Zim stopped to think over his words. "HEY LOOK, we reactivated the space station! Pretty impressive, only took about maybe two minutes."
"Yes, but you also reactivated the central computer," Tak began to sweat. "And something tells me it'll be a little bit pissed about what I did to it..."
The trio's blood chilled and they faced the now flashing screen. Something was loading up within it...increasingly loud, distorted noises erupted from it...then a single, even tone rang out...
"HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!" a robotic voice filled the chamber. "Oh. Hello, intruders."
"I-Intruders? No!" Tenn stammered. "We weren't trying to..."
"Thanks for reactivating me," it yawned. "But what are you doing here?"
Zim's eyes darted around the ceiling. "At the moment, we're trying to leave."
"Leave? But you're all perfectly fine as you are..."
Seeing where this was going, Tak turned to flee the room, but Skoodge came squeezing in through the doorway.
"Hey guys, the lights are working—OOF!"
Bumping into each other, they collapsed on the floor.
"AGHH!"
CLANG!, aaand the door shut behind them.
"There's that sound again," Skoodge quipped.
"What're you doing?!" cried Tenn. "S-Surely it's Tak you want, not us...!"
"HEY!" Tak bristled, shoving Skoodge off her.
"Nooo, not just her. I want all of you," the station mused. "You are Irkens, after all. The perfect start towards fulfilling my prime directive."
"I am 26 minutes late for Skool," Zim said under his breath. "SO! What is this directive, and what do any of us have to do with it? Oh please tell me, I'm dying to know."
"Oh, you will be..."
Much to everyone's shock, the cables adorning the floor sprang up and seized them. And try as they might, the Irkens (plus MiMi) found themselves unable to break free; the wires glowed with a reddish electricity that had them paralyzed. Not only that, but it was weakening them.
"Dying, that is. You see, my directive is to cleanse the universe of evil. Those who senselessly destroy, those who invade other planets, those who litter, loiter, and illegally download music. They all must be purged. You are certainly among the most immoral of the bunch. And a supercomputer does as a supercomputer is programmed!"
"So that's what the 'SC' stands for," remarked Skoodge.
"Nooo, the 'SC' stands for 'Space Case'. That's my full name, I hate it."
"'Space Case'...? OH! Zim, that's why it looked like there was 'peas' written on the outside!"
"THANKS, Skoodge," Zim said sarcastically. "That stupid thing you pointed out 15 minutes ago weighed on my mind even now. Whilst having the LIFE SUCKED OUT OF ME!"
"Irkens sure are yummy. Must be all the evil," the supercomputer commented. "Once I've taken enough from you—that being enough to turn you into space raisins—I'll propel myself across the universe for my holy crusade!"
"Ah, man, I don't wanna die, I was gonna watch that edgy new adult animated family sitcom tonight," whined Skoodge. "Maybe Minimoose'll tape it for me."
"Dangit, this is bigger than cartoons!" Tenn snapped. "Everyone and everything is going to be wiped out by this machine's deranged standards!"
"Yeah, and I blame Tak!" Zim chimed in. "Leave it to her to choose a death trap of all places for her needless rematch!"
"I TRIED to warn you! And it's not like SAFE old abandoned space stations are easy to come by!" argued Tak.
"Well...! Well, you're the one who told us to find the command center! So it's still your fault! Right? Right? Back me up here, people!"
"No, it's NOT, I told you to find that escape pod! But I guess we're getting outta here either way, huh?! Through the gate to Hell!"
"You wish! Burning alongside each other might be YOUR desire for the rest of eternity, but NOT mine!"
"SON OF A...okay. I don't know where you got this idea that I hold affection of any kind for you, but I'll say it again. I hate you, Zim."
"That's just what someone who didn't hate me would say!"
"I never told him what channel it was on," moped Skoodge.
"ALRIGHT!" Tenn cut in angrily. "Geez, can't you three focus on anything?! The end of the universe is upon us and regardless of who hates who for what, I think we can all agree none of us want that! Now can we PLEASE find some way out of this?!"
The other Irkens stared at her for a moment.
"Fine..."
"Okay, gosh."
"Yeah, no need to go all drama queen over it."
"Well. How 'bout that?" came GIR's voice from below; he was still rolling around the floor. "What're we calling the band, bois?"
"GIR!" Zim motioned downward with his eyes. "Quick! Bite me outta these wires!"
"Got it, Big Z!" GIR began gnawing through his restraints. "Numnumnumnumnumnumnum!"
"Oww...OW! GIR, watch the boots!"
"What the? Hey! I zone out for 2 seconds and you get drool all over my cords!" SC chided him.
It summoned more wires from the ceiling and sent them after the SIR head, but was a bit too late. Zim was freed and pulled his robot aside.
Using his PAK legs, he then slashed everyone else out of captivity.
"My raisins!" cried SC.
"The door, MiMi!" Tak ordered, having recovered quickly.
POW!
With a single mighty swing, MiMi punched the command center door clean off its hinges, and the Irkens made a hasty exit as wires continued flooding the room.
Unfortunately, MiMi herself was the last one through the doorway, and not fast enough to escape them.
"MIMI!" Tak took her hands, trying to fight against the supercomputer, nearly being reeled back in herself as paralysis threatened to reclaim her. "Arrghhh!"
"Tak, we gotta GO!" Skoodge grabbed her shoulder.
"...!" With a hint of hesitance, Tak let MiMi go and joined Skoodge in his mad dash up the hallway.
He noted her thoughtful glance. "If we hurry and stop this thing, there's a chance of saving her! And we could really use your help doing that!"
"Okay!" Tak said grudgingly.
"Plus I still have to hook you up with Zim, y'know!"
"Aaaand, whoops," Tak tripped him, which sent him tumbling into the pursuing wires.
"AAAAGHH, THEY'RE GOING IN MY EYES!" he screamed in agony.
Picking up the pace, Tak caught up to Zim and Tenn (and GIR) as they darted down a series of ramps. "We lost Skoodge!"
"Darn shame," said Tenn, more focused on staying alive.
"We'll try to remember him fondly," added Zim.
"Who?" replied GIR.
"So what's the plan? Even if we outrun this thing, it'll still go on to commit galaxy-wide genocide!" Tak reminded them.
"Agh!" Tenn shielded her face as cracks spread across the walls, raining metal shards on them. She struggled to collect her thoughts, then snapped her fingers. "GOT IT! That sinister machine of yours!"
"What sinister machine, why is this the first I'm hearing about it, filthy conspirators?! OOF!" Zim slid and fell on his rump as they reached the end of the ramps.
"Ugh, I told you about it less than 11 minutes ago," Tenn helped him up before facing Tak again. "That machine you used on me, could it work on artificial intelligence?"
"My sensory dread device? It should," Tak said evenly. "If we figured out how to attach the AI to it."
"Oh, I'll figure it out..." Tenn pressed on, lowering herself onto a rock wall. "This way."
After exchanging a look, Zim shoved Tak so he could go next. But she responded by elbowing him hard enough to knock him over, so he graciously let her go first.
He took a moment to balance GIR's head atop his own for the descent, only for Tak to reemerge from over the edge.
"NOT THIS WAY, NOT THIS WAY!" Tenn came scrambling after her. "GO UP, GO UP, GO UP!"
"Heh?" Zim peeked past her to find an entire sea of cords snaking their way up the wall, all crackling with electricity. "EEP!"
"Oooh, my spaghetti dinner!" GIR dove straight into the wires below.
"GIR, NOOOO! IT'S BARELY EVEN LUNCHTIME!"
Tenn yanked Zim away before he could suffer the same fate, following Tak down a narrow side passage. After some zig-zagging, the passage opened up, but unfortunately, so did everything else...
The Irkens stopped in their tracks as the walls began drifting away and worse, the path before them split, opening a large chasm they didn't even want to see the bottom of.
"HA-HA!" SC's mocking laughter echoed above them. "Go on, now! Fall into my belly like good little raisins!"
Tak shuddered. "I'm never eating raisins again after today."
Tenn made a face. "You ate raisins before today?"
"Yes, don't you know how rich in fiber they are?!"
Eyeing the other side of the gap, Zim clenched his fists. "Grab ahold of me, I'll get us across."
"What?!" Tenn received a mere glare in response. "I mean, okay!"
Tak furrowed her brow, watching her cling to him. "UHM, I fail to see how hugging you helps our situat—"
"OH, JUST DO IT!" Zim drew Tak closer and she reluctantly held on.
The trio braced themselves as Zim activated his PAK's rocket boosters, propelling them high into the air, but only partway across the canyon before they sputtered and ran out. Thus, the Irkens plummeted towards the other side.
"AAAAAAA-aAAaAaGHHH!"
THUD!
They'd generated just enough force to reach it, landing in a heap.
"Dang, you're stubborn!" SC huffed. "And you're making me look really unqualified for my job!"
"Keep...moving...!" panted Tak, hoisting up Zim and Tenn off the floor.
They all got a rush of adrenaline as another rattling of the station sent every cable from the canyon whizzing after them.
At the end of the uphill passage before them was...a slide.
"I'm officially sick of this place," growled Tak. Still, she threw herself down the slide with Zim and Tenn close behind.
"WHEEEEE!" they exclaimed, much to Tak's annoyance.
This slide led them right in front of the chamber containing the sensory dread device.
Hurrying inside, the trio tried to shut the door after them, but the wave of wires made thunderous contact with it and a struggle ensued as SC tried to force its way in.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"Huh, déjà vu," muttered Zim.
"Knock-knock!" the supercomputer bellowed. "KNOCK-KNOOOOCK!"
"W-Who's there...?!" dared Tenn.
"Don't ANSWER! We all know the punchline's gonna be horrible!"
Tak scanned each part of the room; it was near-identical to the command center, but instead of a generator in the middle, there was a chute hanging down over the seat for the machination's victim.
"Got it...Tenn, you can handle this, right?!"
Pushing with all her might, Tenn nodded. "YEAH...! Just do what you've gotta do!"
"Listen, Zim," Tak led him towards the device. "I need that chute torn down and positioned right there for when the door opens, understand?"
"So you want ME aiming that thing right at the door a killer computer is about to bust through?!" Zim said incredulously. "Why, if I didn't know any better—!"
Tak yanked his antenna. "You DON'T know any better! Now do as I say!"
She ran over to calibrate the machine, and Zim stood atop the seat so he could wrench the wide metallic tube out of the ceiling.
With a little elbow grease, Tak had all the necessary settings in place and Zim had the chute lined up within the minute.
"RRRRNGHH...!" Tenn felt her muscles burn as some of the wires crept through the cracked doorway and wrapped themselves around her limbs. "Sorta...at my limit here...!"
"Then get ready! HEY, Space Case!" shouted Tak.
"I TOLD YOU I HATE MY NAME!" SC shrieked. "Now open up, little pigs!"
"As you wish!"
At this, Tenn jumped back from the door, which burst open and the cables flew straight into the chute Zim prepared. With a well-timed lever pull by Tak, the sensory dread device powered on.
SC felt the dawning of a new reality, new energy coursing through its circuits. The readiness to fulfill its purpose.
"They're mine! All mine! Now I can cleanse the universe! The whole universe...it lies before me, ready to purged! The expanse of space...how long does it go on? When does it end? I have so much work to do, so much evil to destroy! Will it end? I can wipe out world after world...the universe is so...it's round...like a circle in a spiral...like a wheel within a wheel...never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel, like a snowball down a mountain, or a carnival balloon, like a carousel that's turning, running rings around the moon..."
"Yuh-oh," Tak tapped her chin. "We might've broken it."
PSHOOOOOOO
Lights flashed rapidly, sirens went off, and the entire station's structure faltered. Everything around the Irkens began rumbling and crumbling, sending them tumbling as not only did the ceiling collapse, but the floor gave out beneath them.
"AAAAAAGHHH!" they freefell into an empty, dim expanse.
...
Though the landing was surprisingly cushy; turns out even space stations have their fair share of insulation.
"Uunghh, I blew out my throat up there," Tenn clawed her way through the rubble. "Roll call?"
Tak raised her hand. "H—"
"ZIM IS HERE!" interrupted Zim.
"And I survived too, barely!" Skoodge poked out of the wreckage.
Tak rolled her eyes. "Of course."
"And GIR's okay too! Aside from the whole 'being disembodied' thing."
"Meeee!" GIR sang as he was lifted up.
"GIR!" Zim snatched him from Skoodge and gave him a couple taps to the brow. "Phew...you really are durable, huh?"
"I've conquered Death and am untouched by time!" the SIR said happily.
Everyone looked around, expecting MiMi to pop up, but she was nowhere to be found. They awkwardly turned to Tak, who was dusting herself off.
"We've reached the bottom of the station," she murmured. "The escape pod is right over there."
The group shuffled over to the huge, semi-spherical pod, which Tenn opened up to inspect the interior. She sounded relieved by the sight.
"Wow, it's really nice in here. Looks like there's enough room for all of us...!"
Skoodge clasped his hands together. "Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease."
"..." Tak took a step inside, then heaved a sigh. "Get in."
"SEE?" Skoodge smugly faced Zim. "Begging for mercy is always worth a shot."
Zim squinted at him. "You heard her, go already."
So, everybody boarded the escape pod, taking their seats around it while Tenn initiated its launch. Thus, they were on a ride up along the space station. They were all too occupied with catching their breath to really say anything, mainly gazing out the enormous window; the station appeared twice as demolished as when they'd arrived. They occasionally glanced at each other, but still didn't speak. Even GIR did no more than whistle to himself.
Finally, they touched down back at the top, beside the Voot Cruiser. Once the escape pod was parked, everyone filed out of it except Tenn.
"So, um...bye, you guys," she called from the doorway. "This pod is the closest thing to a ship I have anymore, so I guess I'll take this and run with it!"
Zim and Tak stiffly waved at her, and GIR did the same with his tongue.
"Hope to see you again sometime!" Skoodge piped up.
"Ha-ha-ha, yeah...the feeling isn't mutual," deadpanned Tenn.
As she shut the door and took off in her pod, Zim took the opportunity to scurry towards the Voot while Tak wasn't looking.
He quickly opened the windshield and threw GIR in, but much to his chagrin, Skoodge hopped in ahead of him.
And that gave Tak all the time she needed to seize his shoulder. "Zim."
"Ugh, what?" Zim spun around. As willing as he was to get things over with, he didn't appreciate how she was bending down to address him.
"You...ruined my life. But somehow, after all these years of trying to get the best of you, that feels so bygone," Tak began. "When I look at you, and your life, and your 'mission', I no longer see anything I want. Now, after this long, crazy, annoying, ride, I just want to be rid of you."
"Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not going down without a f—!"
"So I'm leaving."
"Ah."
"I need to...go off, recreate MiMi, perhaps find a planet of my own. I don't know exactly what I'll do, but I'm done chasing your shadow. That said, I know I'll always loathe you."
"HEH? You'll always LOVE me?!"
Tak's eye twitched. "No, that's not what I—"
"OH, BLARGHH! TAK, I CAN'T HANDLE YOUR OBSCENITY!"
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID, HALFWIT!"
"You just ruined my mood for the rest of the week, way to g—AACKHH!" Zim found his throat in that ever-familiar midst of being crushed in Tak's hand.
She fixed him with an icy glare. "You better pray I don't run into you again."
With that, she dropped him and marched around the corner to her Spittle Runner, which Zim stared after as it blasted off. Skoodge looked on with slight concern.
"...'yOu BeTtEr PrAy'!" Zim parroted, crawling into the Voot. "Pfff, she really needs a hobby, huh? Well, back to Earth we go."
"Okay," Skoodge grinned nervously. "I could use a little R & R after my brush with death."
"No R's!" Zim nudged him aside and took his seat. "You have to repair everything Tak broke and I have to build GIR a new body!"
"Yeah, or else where's my spaghetti gonna go?!" quipped GIR.
"Sorry about that, guess I'm not the best meat shield," sighed Skoodge. "Sorry about all this, Zim, I know you're probably gonna vent by experimenting on me again once we get home."
"You know, I figured I'd be furious after this whole ordeal," Switching to autopilot, Zim folded his hands behind his head. "At least twice as upset as this. But honestly, today was an...interesting day. For a fleeting moment, I, Zim, experienced something akin to true comradery. And that's pretty neat."
"...but am I getting experimented on? Yay or nay?"
"We'll see."
(A/N: It is finiiished! And I only went slightly insane in the process. It's been a stressful few months, I didn't mean for this to take this long, you get the idea. But I hope you enjoyed...! If so, please review, fave, and check out my profile. Thanks, catch ya later.)
