December Desolation Chapter 7

Aramis returned to consciousness rather abruptly, eyes burning uncomfortably after having spent an indeterminate amount of time asleep, which was regardless too long a stretch of time.
He swallowed convulsively against the thickness in his throat, tongue feeling ten times too large for his mouth and as ungainly as a drunk mans legs, the sudden influx of air tickled his throat with a vengeance and drew coughs unbidden that racked his frame.

With a deep groan he pressed a hand to his chest, marvelling at the pain that attacked his body with an inferno like fury, praying for it to come to an end soon as he struggled to draw breath.

The other occupants of the room were startled awake by the painful coughing of their injured friend, Porthos was on his feet immediately, the speed and fluidity of his movement surprising for such a large man, holding his friend upright with one muscled arm around his back as said man attempted to cough up a lung.

The next to find the coherency to move was Athos who plied Porthos with a glass of water to soothe their friends bout of coughing.

"Mis" Porthos whispered softly when his friend had finally sagged bonelessly back into the support of his arm, seeming for all intents and purposes to have gone back to sleep. He gently gave him a soft shake when he got no response, smiling weakly at the grumpy growl he got in response as bleary coffee coloured eyes cracked open to glare weakly at him.

"Come on Mis, drink something it'll help with your throat and you know it" he cajoled gently pressing the rim of the mug against his brothers cracking lips, tipping slowly and pulling it away after a couple of mouthfuls.

Aramis whimpered pitifully and strained to reach the water that was being taken away from him so rudely, the couple of sips not coming close to quenching the infinite thirst that attacked him.

"It's okay Mis, calm down" Porthos soothed " if you drink anymore you're going to throw up and you know it"

The calming words filtered through his fuzzy brain and he relaxed, ceasing his futile struggling that was only serving to drain him of his already minute reserves of energy.

"Wha you doin ere P'thos?" he rasped, frowning at the two men in front of him as he observed their dishevelled state and tired expressions.

"Where else would we be brother" Athos stated simply, sitting gently down on the side of the cot, holding the now redundant mug with both hands.

"Weren't here before" Aramis responded tiredly, closing his eyes against the throbbing in his skull and attempting to ignore the fire that had slowly ignited in his thigh.

'Ah I remember now, the gunshot. That would be why my leg currently feels like roast turkey' he mused tiredly to himself.

With his eyes closed he missed the guilt and distress that raced across his brothers faces at his exhausted words, Athos grimacing as his brothers words hit him like a punch to the gut.

"That was a mistake" he whispered in anguish "that will never happen again" patting his brothers leg gently, and recoiling as his brother jerked away from him.

"I... should go" with those parting words Athos fled the room as fast as he could without seeming desperate and maintaining his calm facade.

"Now that wasn't very nice" Porthos scolded gently, lowering his brother back onto a stack of pillows that propped him into a comfortable sitting position " he feels terrible, we all do"

"I'd wager not as badly as I do" Aramis joked weakly with a wry smile, "however that does not excuse the way you behaved. I trusted you and spent a while wondering what I could have done wrong that would cause you to hate me so after all we had been through together!
I berated myself for being so pathetic.
It is better for you to leave me, before I get you killed as I do with all others that get close to me and even some that don't! Besides it is evident that you do not wish for my company nor be forced to endure my flaws, I never meant for any of you to get hurt and when I think about what could have happened to Athos" he broke off for a second as he shuddered in horror "it does not bear thinking about!
Therefore I have concluded that it is for the best we part ways, I don't know if I can trust you again... my forgiveness is something that you already have but my trust... well we'll see."

As his brother trailed off towards the end of his heartrending speech, Porthos was struck dumb by the harsh words directed not towards his brothers but himself, when in the end it had been their mistakes that had caused all this.
However knowing Aramis as well as he did, he knew it was futile to even attempt arguing with him at this moment and the best course of action was letting him burn himself out.

Barely five seconds later Aramis' rant had come to an end, breath coming in gasps as his throat surrendered under the stress before his face crumpled, finally reaching the end of his self restraint, his iron clad grip on his emotions all but disappearing as he dissolved into floods of tears.

A loud swallow was the only response Porthos could even consider giving after that bombshell and without a moment's hesitation he pulled Aramis towards himself, practically into his lap, pressing the smaller man to his chest and resting a heavily bearded chin upon his friends head.

Pushing any negative thoughts to the very depths of his mind he began a soothing rocking motion in an attempt to comfort the distraught man, for now he would focus the entirety of his energies upon helping his brother and deal with the repercussions of their mistake later.

This emotional fallout had been threatening for months now, thinking back on their time together now Porthos could kick himself, it had been so clear to see and he had somehow missed the signs. Finally after a painful half an hour of gut wrenching sobs, Aramis slipped back into a less than peaceful sleep cradled in his brothers arms and Porthos breathed a sigh of relief tipping his own head back against the headboard and closing his eyes in exhaustion.

"He is too kind" a voice said lowly, penetrating the drowsy atmosphere of the dimly lit room "if it was me, I wouldn't have forgiven you"

Glancing towards the edges of the room his eyes landed on the slumped form of Etienne, eyes half open as he glared blearily at him. Dark shadows under his eyes coupled with the red rims clear signs of being overtired and overwrought.

"You heard him" Porthos replied tiredly, scrubbing a hand down his face "his forgiveness means little if he doesn't trust us anymore, you know that"

"Yes" Etienne stated simply "musketeers without trust are like soldiers with no orders, useless and disorganised"

Porthos let out a mirthless laugh, "exactly, but without him we are nothing, the inseparable will be no more but if to leave is what he wants then we won't stop im"

Etienne gave a solemn nod, satisfied that the man before him would act with nothing but the best interests of their brother at heart. With that the tired men closed their eyes and drifted back to sleep.

A/N: Okay I tried to tap into Aramis' feelings here, let me know if it comes across well :D Next chapter is some more Treville and Aramis bonding and some conversation between the rest of the boys! Unfortunately school is starting again on Monday :_( I am not sure how reliable updates are going to be now but I will try to update as soon as possible! Please review and let me know what you think and thank you again to all who review every chapter and for the support and kind words :D