Severus' POV

Agony. That is the only way to describe it. The constant throbbing pain I was unfortunately forced to get used to with the absence of my mate was gone, replaced by a sharp stabbing pain and my vampire throwing himself at my barrier, screaming to return to him. He was in Hogwarts. That much was clear. I groaned as another wave of pain ran through me.

I threw the covers off my body and got up. Sleep had eluded me for most of the night since the pain had changed. I absentmindedly touched my hand over my left forearm, rubbing over the scars that littered over the worst mistake I ever made.

I left my rooms and aimlessly wandered towards the front doors. Some fresh air would do me good I think, there's only so much dungeon one can take. I got to the front steps, lost in thought. Then I felt it and noticed him. Remus was there sitting on the steps with a steaming cup of tea. Typical Rem. My heart hurt at the comfortable familiar picture in front of me. Then I noticed he'd turned to look at me and looked shocked and unsure.

'I'll just go somewhere else..' I trailed off and turned back around.

I heard him sigh and say, 'You don't have to. This is as much your home as it is mine now Severus.'

'Even so.' I replied. I gently touched his shoulder as I passed him. I aimlessly wandered down towards the lake. Being that close to him was hard. Harder than I expected.

I began skimming stones gently and was taken back to the last time I had done this. The memories came flooding back and before I could stop them, tears fell down my face. He was right. I have ruined my own life. Just like I ruined hers. I hope she knows how much I love and miss her.

I furiously wiped at my face. I did not deserve to cry. This was my own doing. I was just calming myself down when I noticed a familiar phoenix patronus coming towards me.

'Severus, you will not be permitted to miss meals. Breakfast began 10 minutes ago. You need to eat.' The voice of Albus spoke softly but commandingly. I sighed as I trudged my way back up towards the castle.