!PLEASE NOTE:THIS CHAPTER HAS SELF HARM IN IT. I DO NOT WISH THIS TO BE A TRIGGER FOR ANYONE SO PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THAT IS A POSSIBILITY. IT IS NOT VERY GRAPHIC BUT THIS IS YOUR WARNING!

Remus' POV

I sighed as I watched him go. The tingling on my shoulder an unpleasant reminder of how different things are now. I didn't want it to be like this. Sometimes I ached to have him back. To hold him and have him hold me and love me. He never stopped loving you, idiot. He walked towards the lake and stopped on the shore. I watched as he began skimming stones. The memory of the last time I saw him do that resurfaced and I cringed slightly. I got up and went to go to the Great Hall for breakfast when I saw his frame hunch over as if crying. I hastily turned and fled. I was not privy to those intimate moments of his life anymore. And whose fault is that? My wolf snarled at me. I sighed and took a seat at the table.

While the children were at their homes for the holidays, there was only one large table set out for the remaining few professors and the four of us. Ten minutes into breakfast I saw Albus' face frown. Then he conjured up his patronus, whispered to it and sent it away. I wonder who that was to.

A few minutes later the door opened and Severus glided in. He was glamoured again, that much was obvious. James and Sirius sneered at him as Dumbledore smiled and cheerily greeted him.

'Good of you to join us my boy, what will you have?'

'Just a tea, Albus, as you already know' Severus ground out as he sat on the furthest chair at the very end of the table. He perched on the end like he didn't belong there. And in a strange sense, he didn't.

Dumbledore sighed and conjured a purple flowery teapot to pour Severus' tea.

'You have to eat Severus. You know what Poppy said the last time,'

'I am perfectly aware of what that meddling old woman said. I. am. Fine.' Severus growled as he added milk, a little roughly, to his tea.

I was worried. What had Poppy said? The last time what? Was he okay? My mate? My wolf unconsciously let out a low whine, worried for its mate. Luckily everyone else was talking so I don't think anyone heard. But he did. My mate had turned to me as soon as the noise began. I blushed and turned myself away, not seeing his sigh and him begin to scratch at what must have been a healing cut on his wrist.

He must have scratched a bit too hard because all of a sudden I could smell it. His blood. I sharply turned to him and said, 'You're bleeding.'

'No I'm not wolf, don't be stupid.' He snarked as he pulled down his sleeve over his left wrist.

'Exactly Severus, wolf. A wolf who can smell blood up to 2 miles away, and who knows what yours smells like. You. Are. Bleeding.' I growled at him, losing patience.

'Severus, come on, lift up your sleeve.' Albus sighed as he said this, as if it was a common occurrence. And for all I know, it might be.

Severus rolled his eyes and gingerly lifted up his sleeve. Lily gasped as she saw the jagged cut across the dark mark, now oozing fresh red blood around the darker dried substance.

'You told me you were going to stop.' Dumbledore said angrily as he sent another patronus of. Hopefully to the hospital wing.

'And you told me you were going to help me!,' Severus ground out as he stood and turned towards the exit, 'Looks like we both lied.'

Just as he reached the doors, his bloodied arm hanging for all to see, creating a trail along the floor, Poppy Pompfrey appeared in the doorway. She looked at him like a mother who was scolding her child.

'Don't look at me like that,' he snarled and moved to push past her. She however grabbed his uninjured arm and began leading him away, 'Get your hands off me. I am not going back into that stupid ward. Un hand me woman'

We heard him all the way until they turned the corridor. Dumbledore sighed and left breakfast.

'Wow.' James and Sirius said softly, looking worried. I brushed away the tears I didn't know had escaped and fled to my rooms, not noticing their concerned looks.