Apparently this is the story that refuses to die. Ironic.
I may as well do away the pretence of not continuing, because my mind is already writing another scene as we speak.

Angst through and through. You have been warned.
(This one jumps around a bit. Please let me know if it's too confusing)


It was the silence. Amplified everything. Hurt, loss, denial, anger. Everything. Grief dripped from every nook and cranny of the old farmhouse, drowning April in it's current. She wanted to talk, to break the silence and at least attempt to heal the pain, but her fear stopped her. Fear of saying something wrong. Fear of hurting everyone further.

Fear of facing her own heartache.

But the silence!

It was the weather. It was too cold for burying Leo, the ground was still too frozen. It was supposed to warm up significantly by morning tomorrow. Less than twenty-four hours. Then they could break the silence. Then they could face their anguish. Then they could burry…

She prayed it would snow tomorrow.

A soft mumbling from the main room caught her attention, and April followed it out of the kitchen. She brought a tray of sandwiches—no one would eat them, but she couldn't help but try—and found Don sitting on the couch, some sort of gizmo in pieces on the coffee table in front of him, with a string of murmured confusion pouring from his mouth. She set the tray on an empty piece of table. "Don? You alright?"

"It just doesn't make sense."

"What does—"

"I've taken apart and retested every circuit and they're all functioning properly, but when I put them together, the drone won't work."

April paused a moment, looking at the pieces displayed on the table like a jigsaw puzzle. He certainly was being meticulous about one little drone. "I'm sure you'll figure it out. You're always—"

"I can't. I can't fix it. I've tried everything—everything I can think of—but it's not—nothing's working. Even when I put it together—it must be missing a piece. I can't fix it. I can't…"

April saw his hands begin to tremble and immediately held them in her own. "Donnie…"

"It's nothing. Nothing… Nothing I could do…"

She watched his eyes close and his throat tense and knew he was holding in whatever well of despair was clawing to get out. But the only thing she could think of to do was place her hand on his cheek and whisper words she was sure he knew but would never believe. "It's not your fault. You did everything you… It's not your fault."

"I…" Don stuttered, his hands releasing the parts he'd been clasping, letting them fall to the floor in a broken heap. "I should have… I'm supposed to… but I couldn't…" His eyes fell past her to the floor, staring at the fractured pieces of his drone.

"He's been shot."

Pieces. Broken. Too shattered to fix.

"Don, hurry."

Something missing. Wouldn't work without it. If only he could—

April's arms were suddenly wrapped around him, tears streaking her face and falling on his arm.

"It's OK, Don."

Not her tears. His. He was crying again. Why was he—?

"We're here."

Her voice was shaking. Or was that still his hands? Why were his hands shaking?

The drone. Pieces on the floor. He should pick them up. Fix them.

Couldn't… Couldn't get there in—

April held Don closer as his body shook even harder, her own tears springing to the brim.

"We'll get through this together."


"Where do you think you're going?" Don stepped forward, glaring at his older brother's shell.

"Out."

Raph didn't explain himself further, forcing Don to grab his shoulder. "No. You're not." He'd hit a nerve. He could feel his brother's muscles tensing. And he didn't care. "Sensei said we're not ready to be out there yet. We stay." His commanding tone only seemed to piss his brother off further.

"I'm getting air."

But Don wasn't buying it. He knew better. He knew that look in his brother's eye. Raph was looking for a fight. Had been for the past two months. Planting his feet, Don gripped his brother's shoulder tighter and spoke with finality. "We. Stay."

Raph seethed with contempt. "You givin' me an order, Donnie-boy?"

And for once, Don was unafraid. "It was Sensei's order. I'm enforcing it."

"S'at so? And how you gonna do that?" Raph turned, his broad shoulders and heavy steps screaming intimidation.

And for once, Don wasn't cowed. "I was hoping to appeal to your better nature, but I'm starting to wonder if you have one."

Raph stepped forward, his anger spewing from his lips. "Screw you, Donnie! I don't have to listen to you!"

For once.

"You ain't my leader!"

Don. Didn't.

"You ain't Leo!"

Care.

A sudden punch to his face had Raph on the floor, blood dripping from his nostril and a glare that could break glass aimed at the ground. No retaliation or bewilderment. Almost like he'd wanted it to happen. And it was all Don could do to stop himself from throwing another punch.

Reason it out logically. Understand.

Leo was dead. Raph was angry. Raph wanted to vent his anger by finding revenge. Finding revenge meant going topside and beating up the world until the murderer was found. Don was stopping him from beating up his pain and venting his anger, so Raph was taking his anger out on Don. Logically, it all made sense. Logically, Don understood his brother's loss and desperate need to do something to make it go away. Logically, Don knew the best way to help was to either aid in his rampage or back off and let him vent.

Logically.

But Don was in pain too. Don felt loss and despair and anger. Don had also lost a brother. Raph should understand it wasn't just him who was hurting. Raph should follow the logic to see he's not the only one dying slowly from grief that will never go away. Raph should be trying to comfort Don by doing what he's told and staying safe so they don't risk losing someone else to the evils of the world.

"We. Stay." Don reaffirmed, his hands still clenched tightly into fists. "We stay hidden, and we stay safe. And I don't care how pissed off you are, I'm not losing another brother to your temper." Too far. He felt it. Couldn't stop it.

Meant it.

Logically, Raph should understand Don was just scared and hurt and trying to fight back against the wall of guilt constantly crushing him. Logically, Don should apologize and talk this out so they could all try to find closure together.

Logically, Leo should still be alive.

Logic no longer made sense.


"This is almost as cold as that time me and Don fell through the ice. You remember, Leo? We were in the midst of an epic battle for snow-fort territory and we ended up on the river. And Don, in his infinite wisdom, decided to prove how frozen the water was by hitting it with his bō and it cracked beneath him." Mikey snorted a short laugh. "It's always the smartest people who do the dumbest things."

"I remember that." A thick blanket dropped over his shoulders as Casey folded down to sit beside him. "You shoulda seen Raph's face: went from laughter to freaked so fast it got whiplash."

Mikey curled the blanket tighter around himself, grateful for the warmth. "It was pretty funny, until I got pulled under trying to help Don up." He mused, his eyes quickly losing their luster at his next thought. "If it hadn't been for Leo…"

A somber silence crept through the barn, making Casey tense. He stared at the black bag in front of them, his heart pulsing with equal parts rage and grief, until the shivering of the turtle next to him brought him out of his thoughts. "You should go warm up. Splinter's got a fire going inside, and I bet there's still some food—"

"No thanks." Mikey only nestled deeper into the blanket, his eyes set on the black bag and never leaving. "I don't want him to be alone."

Casey could barely look at the expression on his face.

"Mike, I know this is… I mean, I get why…" He scratched his head, fighting to find the right words. Nothing he could say would be right. Nothing would make any of this easier. He sighed. "I'll stay with him." Mikey didn't move, so Casey put a hand to his shoulder to grab his attention. "He wouldn't want you gettin' sick. I'll keep him company till you warm up a bit."

The young turtle's eyes dropped to the ground, his brows pulled up into the most depressing expression Casey'd ever seen on a person. He started to wonder if he'd prodded the wrong nerve when Mikey finally spoke. "…You won't leave him till I come back?"

Casey nodded firmly. "Swear."

"…Ok." Mikey stood slowly, taking one last forlorn look at the bag before whispering, "I'll be back soon, bro." and leaving the barn. The wind outside made the air even colder, so he pulled the blanket closer around his neck to—

What was that noise? Something drifting over the wind. Mikey was immediately on edge; was someone lurking around the property? Wouldn't be the first time. As he searched the tree line for the source of the noise, his eyes landed on a particular tree… a large oak right where the house clearing ended and the forest began. Taller than most, with a solid, thick trunk, and plenty of leaves in the summer.

Leo's reading tree.

In the warmer months, when they came out here to recuperate from a battle or catch a few days of well-earned vacation, Leo liked to climb up at least half-way and sit with a book for hours on end.

"Why in a tree, Leo? Why not on the porch or by the fireplace, like they always do in movies?"

Mikey saw his older brother's lips curl into the barest of smiles. "The view."

Leo nodded for Mikey to join him, which he did, taking only a few moments to climb the remaining branches to his brother's spot. He looked out over the rest of the trees, the birds and the river down the hill in plain view, and couldn't help being struck by the beauty of it all. "Ok… I admit. It's nice up here. Don't know if it compares to a New York skyline, but—"

"Not that." His brother put his hands on either side of Mikey's face and turned his head a hundred and eighty degrees to look back at the house. "This."

Splinter was rocking on the porch in the chair Casey had made him last Christmas, enjoying a cup of green tea in the shade, April was working with Don on some sort of project in front of the barn, both talking fast until they were suddenly in unison and couldn't help but share a laugh, and Raph was sparring with Casey in front of the house, both smack-talking back and forth and grinning like idiots from ear to ear.

Mikey stared a long while as a fond smile spread across his face. "Since when are you so openly sentimental." He asked, trying not to let on how touched he was.

"You know what they say: big brother's always watching."

Mikey laughed. That sounded more like Leo: surveillance over sentiment. He sat beside his brother, watching their family below as they enjoyed a rare day in the sunlight, and noted an endearing glint in the elder's eyes.

Warmth radiated from Mikey's head to the tips of his toes. "It's a good view. I see why you like it." He scooted closer to his brother on the branch, draping an arm over his shell in an unabashed show of affection. "Thanks for sharing it with me, Leo!"

The elder allowed himself to be hugged. "Just don't tell Raph. I'll never live it down."

"Turtle's honor!"

Mikey suddenly found himself several yards from the tree, staring up at it's branches as snowflakes slowly fell around him. He stared and stared, his heart twisting into so many knots that it practically choked him.

And then the sound was back. Louder than before. Someone grunting. Mikey's eyes, glossy with fresh tears, finally focused in front of him. At the base of the tree. Someone…

"…Raph?"

The turtle in red stood hunched over a shovel, stabbing it into the ground and forcing up dirt to toss over his shoulder. He didn't have a coat or a blanket, and he was clearly cold—Mikey could see him shivering from where he stood—but sweat still trickled down his brow. The ground was frozen. Even Raph with his abundance of muscles couldn't pull up more than a fistful of dirt at a time. But that didn't seem to bother him.

He was determined.

Mikey watched as his brother speared the ground, teeth grit and muscles tense, wrenching the soil from it's home and casting it aside, repeating the process without pause. His breathing grew sharper and shorter, Mikey watched it puff in clouds in front of his mouth. Raph was tired, but not slowing down. Not stopping. If anything his fatigue only looked to spur him on.

Determined to dig.

Mikey could only watched.

Couldn't offer to help. Couldn't even make his presence known. Could only watch in silence as his older brother ran himself ragged trying to accomplish an impossible task.

His eyes—Raph's eyes that saw Leo when he— they hadn't changed at all since that night...

Mikey knew he should try and get him inside to warm up; at this rate he was going to get sick. Seriously sick. But he couldn't move… couldn't force himself to go near his older brother.

His oldest brother.

Digging up death beneath that perfect tree.

Suddenly Mikey remembered the cold. He turned away and headed inside, not saying a word to anyone.


"Go home."

It wasn't unusual for Raph to sound angry. It wasn't unusual for him to be angry at Mikey. But even for angry Raph, the ice in his voice was chilling.

Yet his tone wasn't what was making Mikey's heart pound.

"Stay." Leo's weak voice, barely above a whisper, boomed through the silence with strength he didn't posses in his battered state. It was only the second time he'd woken since they got to the farmhouse and his injuries hadn't had much time to heal yet. But still, he tried to comfort them…

"Where are you going?" He finally asked, stepping out from his hiding space behind a chimney. His older brother didn't even bother to turn and acknowledge him. "Raph—"

"I said. Go. Home."

"No." Mikey stood his ground, sounding adamant despite the fear pumping through his veins. "If you're going out, I'm coming with you."

"No. You're not."

"Alone… I can't… M'Not Enough." Leo blinked slowly, clearly fighting to stay conscious against the exhaustion clawing at his mind. It had been less than a day since he'd been thrown through April's window, and his brother's were still afraid. Afraid for him. But Leo knew how to help. "M'Only strong… when we're… together."

"Yes I am." Mikey moved closer. "And you can't stop me."

"Oh really?"

The way his brother turned, his whole body dripping with malice and his empty eyes screaming rage, startled the younger turtle. He stepped back ever so slightly before taking a deep breath. "Yes. Really. I know you're hurting, Raph. We all are. But you can't do this alone. You need—"

"All I need is to be left alone! You're not coming with—"

"The last time someone left on their own they died!" Mikey practically felt his brother's jaw clench and fists tighten, but there was no stopping him now. He narrowed his eyes, grateful his bandana hid the tears welling in them. "If you need to be out here, stomping out your grief, fine, but I'm coming with you, because I am not gonna lose you too! I… I can't…"

Raph glared at the ground, suddenly very silent.

Leo made eye-contact with all three siblings, attempting to smile as he inhaled slowly. "Stay with me. Then we're… invincible."

It was several minutes before Mikey finally got himself under control, steadying the tremble in his voice as he stepped closer to this brother. "So. Where are we going?"

Together. Both of them. Leo said. They were stronger. Invincible.

Death couldn't touch them again.

Together.


I suppose we'll have to wait and see how far my muse decides to carry this. At least one more chapter.
Suggestions/comments/critiques always welcome.

End of Line

-TRAaP

P.S- If you're confused by that last flashback, it was a reference to a previous oneshot I wrote titled "Invincible". I hope it made sense on it's own.