Chapter Three: Falling Into Pieces

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Falling Into Pieces

April 1898

Hazel hid a smirk as she ducked down an alley way, pulling her bandana from her face and tucking it into her shirt. She had lifted a few shiny things from the couple that ran the local orphanage, they were shits who beat the kids and kept food from them. She and Arthur had been working the last few weeks at slowly stealing their fortune so they would no longer be able to pay for the orphanage and hopefully someone new would take it over. Hazel pulls her coat off and flips it the other way around before she ducks into the saloon and orders a beer and a bowl of soup, waiting for Arthur to show up from where he was looting the house.

With John's departure about a year ago Hazel had been able to step up. Arthur needed someone he could really trust out there to go with him on jobs. Dutch was having to stay away from town more often since he had a bit of a reputation now, Hosea was getting older; Bill was a hot head, and so on. Hazel wasn't going to complain when it meant she was out and about. She enjoyed doing jobs more than anything else she was supposed to do around camp.

Soon Arthur rides past the saloon window and Hazel slowly walks away from her table and mounts Goliath and follows Arthur out of town. All in all, they had a few valuables that would need to be sold to a fence a few towns over for their share, but the cash would find a new home in the red cash box that was laid out behind Dutch's tent. All in all life as good.

"Arthur, can we make a stop into town, I need to check the mail?"

"When was the last time you even got a letter from him?" Arthur asks, trying not to sound annoyed but failing at it.

"It's been a while, so forgive me if I'm worried. If you would stop being angry about him leaving then you would be too. He's still our brother Arthur."

"He stopped being family when he ran off in the middle of the night like a coward."

"It was right before dawn actually."

"And if you would have had a brain in your head you would have told somebody."

"And cause a huge fight? John wanted to leave and there was no changing his mind, all telling Dutch or dad about it would have done is make it worse than it was. I get why he left, I really do. You're a tall man to live up too."

"No one was expecting him to be like me, no one in their right mind wants to be like me."

"That's where you're wrong. When you aren't acting like a fool you're actually very sweet."

"You're spending too much time with that idiot redhead if you think I'm sweet. How about we go back to camp and you and he can go into town? You two haven't been anywhere together in a while."

"I don't like going on jobs with Sean, he really needs a few more shooting lessons and he needs to spend more time with dad learning how to be subtle."

"I thought you were going to the post office, not a shootout?"

"Just answering your unspoken question as to why I didn't ask Sean to help with this job."

"No, my unspoken question is why you are even with that idiot? You can do much better."

"I like his hat."

"That might be the worst reason to be with someone I have ever heard. If you're good and don't fight with Susan we can go into town tomorrow for the letter. But don't hold your breath on there being one."

"My birthday is in a few days and even he wouldn't leave me hanging on my birthday."

They took off into the woods, this new camp was at the base of a mountain well off from the road, but the road was also a cross roads and they had 5 towns to go find work in. The biggest was Appleton that had a bank that Hosea and Dutch wanted to hit so most of the group was avoiding that place as much as possible. Maryville was where they got most of the supplies and where they were having mail sent to, Hampbri, Gapsom Park, and Rianiles Point were the free for all towns that they could do anything they wanted as long as it didn't bring the law down. Being that close to the base of a mountain they also had easy pickings when it came to hunting, overall this was an amazing place. "Sucks dad and Dutch didn't buy that farmland; I would love to see Uncle Dutch in a pair of overalls." Hazel says with a giggle of the image her brain supplied her.

"I don't think even in death Dutch would give up his fancy vests and chains. He's the only person I know that can stand to dress that uppity in the woods."

"Dad's not too far behind him, like he's not as bad, but some of the outfits he wears."

"Javier is taking after the both of them now too. Did you see that vest he had on the other day?"

"Can you imagine if Bill decided he was going to dress like that?"

"Who goes there?!" Karen says from her spot against the tree.

"Arthur and Hazel, surprised you're even awake." Arthur says shooting the blonde a smile as he rides by.

"Very funny Arthur." Karen rolls her eyes and Hazel shoots her a smile and tosses an apple at her as they go by, Hazel hated guard duty and knew you always got bored and eating seemed to help.

This new camp site was bigger than some of the others and the tents weren't right on top of each other so they looked a bit bigger than they were. Arthur and Hazel hitched the horses and Arthur said he would be back after he dropped their take off and Hazel started pulling off Goliath's saddle to give him a brush down. "Wish we were closer to water buddy or we'd go take a bath, you need one." She says as she pulls some sticks out of the course hair that lines the back of his legs.

"I resent that lass." Sean said as he walked up and wrapped his arms around Hazel's middle. "I'm as clean as a new born babe."

"Have you seen a newborn baby? They are not clean, not by a long shot."

"I mean, after they get all the shit off it, I think lil Jack is the cleanest of all of us."

"I also know for a fact you are not as clean as a baby." Hazel spins around and wipes dirt across Sean's cheek. "See, you're dirty."

"I'll show you dirty." He says reaching his hand into the trampled dirt and throwing some towards Hazel who ducked, but most of it landed on Goliath's hair.

"Hey! I just brushed him and you got him all muddy." Hazel protests as she stands up and gives Sean a playful shove.

"You started it, I'm just finishing it!" Sean grabs her arms and gives her a light hearted swing to the left and she loses her footing and falls to the ground.

"Sean!" Hazel giggles, latching onto his left leg and stopping him from going anywhere before she grabs his jacket and pulls him to the ground beside her."

"Enough! You're scaring the horses." Hosea says as he walks by and fixes them with an unamused look. Hazel ducked her head and didn't look at him; Arthur was not the only one unhappy with her current choice. When Hosea had found out Hazel was a bit worried that her father was going to shoot Sean. Hazel would admit that Sean wasn't the best at most things, too loud and out going for subtle, his aim was a little off, and he liked to sleep and drink more than most, but he made Hazel smile. He was there for her in the days after John left and Hazel was heartbroken, missing her brother and normal running mate. Hazel had always heard girls grew up faster than boys and Sean was only 21, he still had a lot of growing up to do.

Sean pulls himself up and grabs Hazel's arm and pulls her to her feet as well before wrapping his arms around her and they walk away from where the horses are hitched. "How was robbing the rich folk?"

"Same as it's been all week. I really hope those farmers are able to buy the orphanage when this is all said and done. Arthur and I can only sneak in the back and drop food off for so long before someone notices."

"Morgan hit the house today right?"

"Yep, his saddle bags looked loaded, but I don't actually know how much money he got."

"Got any plans for tomorrow day?"

"Arthur and I are going to go into town."

"Another job?" He asks, sounding a little jealous. "Why do all of your jobs have to involve him?"

"Because Arthur is the best shot in the camp, and I didn't say it was a job, going to the post office. Wanna see if John's written me."

"You haven't heard from Marston for months, what makes you think you'll hear from him now?"

"I don't really think I will, I think I'm just hoping, my birthday is in a few weeks after all. I write him on his birthday."

"Are you sure you wanna go with Morgan? I can take you out for a job, we can hit town on our way back."

"What do you have in mind?"

Sean and Hazel sit at that table that has sort of become the official poker table as Hazel pulls her guns from her holster to give it a good clean since it was rained on that morning. Sean tells her about a homestead he heard about, a hideout for a fairly small group of men who rustled cattle and sheep from surrounding farms. Sean had heard the rancher they recently hit putting up a major fuss in the bar in Hampbri. "The only place I found that fences livestock is on the other side of the river and with what they took they'd have to move them fast. They have the money at the hideout."

"Have you scouted the hideout? I don't fancy another shot to my arm."

"Hey, how was I to know they would have look outs in tress like that?" Sean defends himself after one of the past jobs he brought to the group resulted in Hazel and Javier both taking bullet injuries. Sean was good at finding information but he was bad at scouting to see if the risk was worth the reward.

"But you know better now, so have you scouted?"

"I thought you and I could just do it all tomorrow. Spend some time together, just the two of us."

"Dad will never go for it being just the two of us."

"I'm a grown man, I don't need permission, you're not a baby either, and your da needs to lay off." Sean grouses.

"Even Arthur still gets baby sitters sent after him if he's gone too long; you're just going to have to deal with it."

"Would you be willing just to sneak off this one time? Please?" He says stick out his lower lip and blinking his eyes really fast, all he was succeeding at was making Hazel laugh.

"Okay, jeez, okay. We can go. But if I get stuck on laundry duty I'll shoot you."

"You won't kill me love, you enjoy me too much."

"I didn't say anything about killing you."

Sean managed to talk Bill into taking his guard shift that night, which was ideal since Bill liked to sleep. Hazel had been nervous as she told her father goodnight and slipped into her tent, she knew she needed some actual sleep but found her nerves getting the best of her. Yes, she and Sean had slipped out of camp a few times, but they had never snuck days away from camp before. If everything went according to plan they would spend on night away from camp, just the two of them. Hazel felt her stomach tighten at the thought of what that might mean for them. She sighed and pulled her journal from her bag and looked back at the old entries from the start of her and Sean's relationship. They had spent a year awkwardly flirting with each other, Sean being more direct in his approach and Hazel not sure if he was the best person to be with. Then John had left. Hazel's world flipped on its side, and Sean was there. The only one who wasn't really that hurt that John had left, Sean hadn't been with them long and he and John hadn't really had a chance to get to know each other.

December 1897

Just had the first Christmas without John. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who misses him. Uncle Dutch and dad don't mention him all that much, Arthur acts like he died, Abigail goes from being mad to sad if he's brought up. I think I'm the only one that really gets why he left. Maybe it's because I was the only one he really told. He still writes to me, not as often as he used to though. I don't know if the letters just aren't getting to him and his to me, or if he finally found that better life he was looking for. Jack is getting bigger and I don't see much of John in him, I'm calling Abigail a liar, but her timing could be off. John and her weren't steady long before she said she was going to have a baby. I think almost man in this camp has been with her, even Arthur which makes me cringe a little when I think about it.

Sean brought me a new pen; it's a really nice one with a beaver engraving on the side. He danced with me and was my partner when we played games by the fire.

He also kissed me again. I've lost count how many this is now. It still makes my stomach feel weird, but I don't think I have that swarm of butterflies that I hear the girls talking about when someone kisses you. I wish I had a mom to talk to about this.

I could talk to Susan, but then she would get mad about that fact I was kissing anyone and would be even more mad when I told her who it was. Karen would just tell me to go for it, since I know she and him have had a weird thing since he showed up, but Sean says it's just for fun. Tilly would tell me I could do better, and Mary-Beth would probably tell me it was romantic, some silly forbidden love idea probably. Abigail is very bitter right now and would tell me to write all men off.

They all like Sean, but I don't think any of them would approve of Sean.

I'm very confused.

But Sean makes me smile, he just sits by me when I take off from camp to read John's letter because the others don't want to know about it.

I hope John is having a good Christmas wherever he is.

January 1898

Sean kissed me as the New Year hit. Right in the middle of camp. I'm surprised he has a head left after the reaction. He also asked if I would be his, and I finally said yes. But I'm not sure of my feelings I guess. Maybe it will work out, he's such a good guy, but reckless and cocky, but he has some good qualities too. He's pretty handy at being a distraction on jobs when needed and from what I hear he is good at crowd control when they do big jobs like the bank they just hit. (Sometime after May of 1899 I will finally get to go and see for myself how good he actually is, or if he just talks all the people into silence.)

I'm waiting for dad to come in and yell at me. Right now he and Uncle Dutch went on a ride and Arthur took off as well, but by himself. Susan is standing watch outside my tent right now, I don't know if she's keeping me in or everyone else out. Last I saw of Sean he was being shoved outside of camp by Bill and Josiah, who stopped by to spend New Year's with us. Josiah will make sure Sean survives the night if nothing else.

I bet John would be pissed too.

The party is still going on. Javier is playing one of his songs from Mexico, I don't remember the name. Maybe I'll ask him to teach me Spanish now that our guitar lessons have drawn to a close, I'm pretty good now, but Javier will always be better. I hear a few bottles being tossed to the ground and some laughs. Sean and I killed the party for the most part, but nothing is going to get between the group and the free alcohol.

I hope dad doesn't hate me, or is too mad. I didn't ask Sean to kiss me. Sure I didn't tell him no either, but why should I? Arthur had already tried to get hitched at my age and I know that John didn't make it to his 17th birthday without paying for a woman. From the stories that I hear when all the girls are together the only one who hadn't been younger than me was Mary-Beth, and she was 18. Maybe it's the whole I'm the baby of the group thing again, take Jack out and I'm still the baby. Hosea Matthew's daughter. All the things that would make most men with a brain step away from me.

Maybe that's the only reason Sean is so appealing, he's the only one that hasn't sighed away. Even Javier did when I tried to flirt with him. Maybe I'm not trying enough either, but I don't want to go away from camp since it can get messy, like Arthur and that witch Mary or poor Eliza. But inner camp relationships don't always work either, John and Abigail. Having older siblings suck because you see their lives and what didn't work out for them. Maybe I should just be a nun, less problems that way.

I don't see why I can't give Sean a shot. What's the worst that can happen?

Hazel closed the journal closed, even back then her thoughts were all over the place. Tucking the worn leather book back into her bag she slips back out of her tent and goes over to the weapons wagon that Arthur made his spot since he became Dutch's enforcer, but the cot was empty and one glance at the hitching posts showed that Boadicea was gone too. He must have just left because he had been in camp when she had gone to bed.

She looked around camp and saw her father sitting at the main fire, waving his hands in the air frantically, making everyone gathered around him laugh at his words. Hazel crossed her arms, trying to figure out if she should continue trying to find someone to talk to or just go with the flow like she had the whole time she'd been with Sean.

"You just missed him Hazelnut, needed him to scout the night patrol in Appleton." Dutch's voice carried to her ears causing the teen to turn and see the man outside his tent with a book in his hand, the main flaps to his tent had been pulled shut so Hazel thought he was in bed, but it must be his current…..whatever Molly O'Shea was to him, that was in the white tent.

"I thought you were sleeping." Hazel says walking over to him and leaning against the pole.

"Molly turned in a while ago; I'm not quite ready to put Mr. Miller down for the night." Hazel couldn't keep the grimace from her face. Flashbacks from reading lessons of her childhood springing to mind. "Wipe that look off your face. Reading is an important skill, as is seeing life from different viewpoints."

"I know, but I still think he was a bit advanced for an eight year old."

"Or maybe it's where I go wrong with all my students, I don't expose them to Mr. Miller soon enough?"

Hazel giggles and shakes her head before letting out a sigh, when she lets out the sigh Dutch looks up and lowers the book again, this time marking the page and closing the book. "What are you doing up anyway? You said goodnight almost an hour ago."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"Let me rephrase, can I ask you something without you getting mad and without you telling dad?"

"I can try with the first and I promise with the second. Hosea might be my best friend, but I don't have to tell him everything. What's on your mind?"

Hazel shifts from where she is leaning and decides to sit on the grass by Dutch's feet, sort of like she used to do when she was younger. "It's about Sean."

"Okay." Dutch says, trying not to roll his eyes. Sean and Hazel made him uneasy.

"I know nobody is overly fond of he and I, like I know you all like him just fine, but you don't like us. And I get it, but at the same time….." Hazel stops and plucks a blade of grass from the earth and starts tearing it into strips. "Uncle Dutch, how do you know when you are in love? Like real love."

"There isn't one right answer to that Hazelnut. And what you do feel can change with age."

"So there is no one sure fire way to tell?"

"Why are you asking?"

Hazel tosses the shredded grass to the ground and picks another blade of grass, thinking over her words, not wanting to get Sean in trouble, but she was very confused about everything in her head. "When Arthur was with Mary, he was with her, regardless of what you and dad told him. He thought that he knew what he was doing was right, that doing the things she asked him to do was right, regardless of what it was. Arthur was in love with her right? And I think he still thinks he is. Honestly he needs to move- I mean…..Arthur did things that he normally wouldn't do without hesitation. Right?"

"In some ways yes. I didn't always approve of Arthur's actions with most of his romantic interests. And yes, he did often do things he knew we would disapprove of when he was with Mary, Eliza too."

"But he did it anyway is what I'm getting at. He still went ahead and did these things. And I don't remember Aunt Annabelle much, but I know she would get you to do things, like when you shaved all your facial hair off. You did that because you loved her."

"Yes, when you love someone you sometimes will do things simply because they ask you, but there should always be a limit to this. If your partner asks you to do something you are not comfortable with then it might be time to look at that relationship. Has Sean asked you to do something you're not comfortable with?"

"He wants me to rob a homestead with him."

Dutch gave her a look, Hazel robbing wasn't anything new, and her and Sean had done several jobs with Arthur or Javier or basically anybody in the gang. "Is he asking you to rob someone we wouldn't rob?"

"No, I don't think so. He says they're a gang of rustlers, hit farms all over the place. It's not the job itself; it's how he wants us to get to the job. He wants just the two of us to go; we're supposed to sneak out of camp in the morning. Stay out tomorrow night and come back the afternoon after that."

Dutch felt his eye give a twitch at the words. Just the thought of Hazel in the woods alone overnight was bad enough, but with a man like Sean. Dutch knew exactly why she was uneasy. "You do know you're not going anywhere now right?"

"Yeah, and I'm okay with it. I like Sean, but he needs to do better scouting work. He didn't seem to know much about the place he wants to hit other than its general location. But like I said, it isn't the job that has me confused."

"You want to know if what you feel for Sean is love?"

"Yeah." Hazel tosses her 4th shredded blade of grass on the ground before crossing her arms and looking at Dutch with a helpless look in her eyes that made Dutch's heart hurt a little. Hazel wasn't the little girl that just needed her Uncle Dutch to kiss a scraped knee or get her stuffed animal back from John. She was almost a grown woman who did not have a mother to ask these questions too. Who was afraid to ask her father because of how he always acted when he saw Hazel and Sean together in a flirty sort of way.

"Hazel, I cannot answer that for you. Because there simply isn't an answer. What one person feels may not be what another feels, and sometimes you think you're in love when it's just an infatuation or even plain simple lust. But I can tell you that if you are having doubts, think before you do something you can't take back." Dutch's mind thinking to John and Abigail and the mess with Jack. Dutch also had doubts the Jack was John's, especially as the boy got older and didn't take on any of the features that John possessed. "I can also tell you if it is love, it will work its self out in the end. Look at your parents. Your parents had to overcome a lot in their relationship. There were times your father didn't think they would make it work, yet they did, for almost 20 years."

"I wanna ask you…..feel free to say no…..you don't have to answer me if you don't want to, but…..I know you loved Aunt Annabelle, I remember you guys when I was little, how happy you always seemed to be. How you were when she died. Have you ever felt that for anyone else? Like Molly?"

"I will never love anyone like I did Annabelle, she was very important to me, and I have no doubt in my mind that we would still be together now. But just because I will never love anyone like her does not mean that I cannot love anyone else. Just because it is different doesn't mean it is not as strong."

"This is all really confusing."

"I know kiddo. Unfortunately it doesn't stop. You just get more experience with age."

"I know you said we weren't going to the job, is there a way to bust it without us having to do extra chores as punishment? I did rat myself out instead of just going with it which was my original plan."

"I'll stay here; Sean won't do anything if I'm keeping watch."

"Thanks Uncle Dutch." Hazel pushes herself to her feet and wipes off her dress. Dutch stands and rubs a pain in his back as he does so. He's getting a bit too old to sit on a crate for hours on end. Dutch wraps the girl in a hug and kisses the top of her head.

"I'll ask everyone to lay off you and Sean. I know that all the teasing and disapproving looks aren't helping you. I can't make any promises with your father though." The two pull apart and Hazel smiles up at Dutch with a thankful look.

"Maybe dad and Sean can go on this job? Sean needs help with subtly and scouting, dad likes to do all of that. Maybe it will help dad see that Sean isn't as bad as he thinks he is?"

"That's not a bad idea. I'll run it by him tomorrow."

"Goodnight Uncle Dutch.

"Night Hazelnut."

Hazel walks across the camp, but instead of going to her tent she walks over to the fire and sits beside her father on the log, leaning against his shoulder as his story comes to a close. Hosea wraps an arm around her shoulders and gives her a light squeeze. "Dutch talk you out of trying to sneak away tonight?" Hosea asks as Hazel sits straighter and looks at her father with a confused look. "Next time you plan on being irresponsible, maybe don't plan it in the middle of camp."

Next Morning

Hazel rubbed her eyes as she walked over to the campfire for some coffee, she had stayed up later than she meant to, but after her talk with Dutch she hadn't wanted to be alone and it was nice to just sit by her dad and spend time with the rest of the gang, Arthur was riding into camp as she was pouring a cup, he looked very tired and slid off Boadicea fairly slowly. Hazel walked over to him and pressed her coffee into his hands and she tied Boadicea up for him. "Long night?"

"Long ride. The laws in that town are very strange and their patrol patterns are weird."

"Still think you can hit the bank?"

"Oh yeah, I said weird, not smart. By the time they even get wind of something we'll be gone. How they work would make sense if they had more people, but this is going to work in our favor. Easy to get out if they are all gathered in one spot."

"I wish I was 19, I want to go with you."

"Just because 19 was the magic number with John doesn't mean it will be with you. I was in my 20s when I had my first bank."

"That's because the group wasn't robbin' banks back then, or I'm sure you would have been robbing them sooner."

Arthur laughs and wraps an arm around Hazel's shoulders, he asks her if they can hold off on their trip to town until the next day and Hazel says yes knowing how tired he probably was, they walk towards Dutch's tent, Arthur needing to fill Dutch in over what he saw in town. Right outside the tent was Dutch, Hosea, and Sean, all looking over a map and they were obviously talking about the homestead the Sean had wanted to hit. It looked like Dutch had talked Hosea into taking Sean. Hazel ducks away from Arthur telling him that she wanted coffee of her own since she had given hers away. In reality she didn't want to face Sean yet, she was still confused about how much she actually felt for him, and she just wasn't ready to deal with his disappointment that their plans had been thwarted. Even though it seemed that if Hazel hadn't talked to Dutch it would have been stopped anyway and in a more public way.

After pouring another cup she walked to the chuck wagon and grabbed two apples from the box and walked over to where Goliath was grazing. She cut up one of the apples and fed some to Goliath and some to herself. "Hermana!" a loud voice called from her right and Hazel smiled as she watched Javier come over to where she was standing. "I need to go to Maryville for some shells, wanna go with me?"

"Sure, I was wanting to go to the post office anyway."

"Alright, get saddled and I'll see if anyone needs anything before we go.

Riding with Javier was always fun to Hazel, he was serious in so many ways, but he also liked to joke and they always spent time on the road just singing songs or Javier teaching her some Spanish words to the songs he would sing that Hazel thought were so pretty but she had no idea what they actually were about. They talked about how different their lives were growing up, but Javier didn't go much into his teenaged years and Hazel was very glad that by the time she was born the Civil War was over, growing up during a war sounded awful, and it seemed like that was Javier's whole life, being a revolutionary. Right now though, Javier was quizzing her Spanish.

"Horse?"

"Caballo."

"Camp?"

"Acampar"

"Brother?"

"Hermando"

"Father?"

"Padre."

"Love?"

"Uh…starts with an "A" right?"

"It does." Javier says with a smirk, he always got her in the end.

"Asshole?" Hazel says with a shrug.

"Ouch, is that how you compliment Sean? Calling him names?"

"We both know Sean can be an ass, but I really cannot remember the Spanish word."

"Amor. Kinda like armor that protects you, love can protect you. Amor."

"Amor, like armor. If nothing else I remember how sappy you can be my friend."

They made it to Maryville without incident and hitched the horses by the general store and went their separate ways, Hazel rushing to the post office, just hoping there was a letter from John for her. When she ran into Josiah a few months ago she had asked him to try and find John for her and just let him know that she still needed him. If anyone could find him it was Josiah. She slowed her pace down as she walked into to train station, waited for one lady who was insistent that the package she ordered was supposed to be there that day and arguing with the poor station clerk who kept telling her over and over that the 20th was next week. Finally Hazel was able to ask for mail, using the standard name that they always set up where they were and when there was nothing she asked to check under her real name. Matthews was a pretty common name and she didn't think she had been involved in anything too big for her name to be on anyones watch list.

"Here we are, Hazel Matthews." The brown haired man handed her a letter and Hazel couldn't stop the smile when she saw the sloppy handwriting across the front of the letter. "John Kilgore" Hazel thanked the man and ran out of the station, ripping the letter open and frantically flipping the letter over a few times until she found the start of the letter.

Hazel,

I hope this find you well, but as long as you get this letter I will be happy.

I'm thinking about coming back. These past few years have given me time to think and to live this life away from home. It's not as bad as we were told, but it's not easy either.

I ran into Josiah not too long ago and he told me you were worried, I'm sorry I haven't been in contact with you, but by the time I think I know where you are you're somewhere new. I don't see the point in sending a letter you might not get.

I'm staying in a town called St. Marco, its east of where I am sending this letter. I hope to see you soon and maybe I'll come home.

Your brother,

John

Hazel read the letter a few more times before she ran into the general store where she found Javier looking over a lineup of shotguns, a quick glance around the store and Hazel saw a map and she scurried over to it, her eyes raking over all the towns east of Maryville, seeing Mt. Marco, a black dot right off what was probably a well-traveled road since it cut right through the middle of the map. Hazel pulled opened her satchel and pulled out a few bucks and bought some food while trying her best to answer Javier's questions. "I'm going to go get him."

"Shouldn't we go talk to everyone first?"

"No, this letter was dated last week; I gotta get there before he assumes we aren't here and moves on. I'm going now, do what you want." Hazel shoves the few cans into her bag and runs out the store, Javier right on her heels, they both climb onto their horses and Javier still has to push Boaz to catch up with Hazel as she kicks her heels into Goliath's sides, murmuring words of praise as he kicks up a cloud of dust.

St. Marco is a very small town nestled between two very large towns, its proximity to the road is probably the only reason it isn't abandoned. Goliath is panting as Hazel skids him to a stop right outside the saloon. She hops off and hitches him up, giving tossing a few apples and carrots on the ground as a treat as the poor horse sticks his head in the water trough. Javier barley has Boaz hitched before Hazel disappears into the saloon.

The saloon is fairly busy, but after a few scans Hazel feels her chest tighten at not seeing John anywhere. She rolls her neck and walks up to the barman, she pulls her journal out and flips through a few pages before a photo of John falls out, she orders a beer and asks the barman if he had seen "this man" not knowing what John was calling himself these days.

"Old John, yeah, he works at the stables, just down the road."

"Thank you!" She pushes off from the bar, leaving her drink untouched on the worn wood, almost knocking Javier over on her way out the door. Javier decides he's done chasing her for now and goes to the bar and orders some food and a whiskey. If Hazel needs him he's sure he'll know.

Hazel runs down the side road to the large red building and she spotted John at the side of the building stacking hay bales. She runs towards him, calling his name as she quickly jumps the fence that separates her from her brother. The man hardly gets his body turned around before she launches herself into his arms, wrapping her hands tight around his neck. "I found you!" she says into his sweaty neck. After a few seconds of shock, John finally wraps his arms around her back and gives her a squeeze.

"I missed you too Hazel."

January 1899

"I don't get you Arthur, if you hate it so much why do you do it?" Hazel asks as she rides Goliath beside Boadicea, Arthur was going on another loan collecting job for Mr. Strauss, a relatively new part of the life of the gang that neither Hosea nor Hazel approved of, but it did bring in money. With the gang being as big as they were they needed it. Winter seemed to bring out the best in Dutch as now they a few more mouths. A very quiet man names Charles, a sneaky woman names Jenny, and Sean and Hazel's new best friend and seeming Arthur's new project, a boy named Lenny.

"It's not that I don't like it, I just don't get why he always decided to choose people who can't pay it back. Just seems stupid to me to loan money out to people like that."

"You could always say no, Bill would do it."

"And Bill would screw it all up in the process and I'd still be sent after it. Better to cut out any risks."

"How long will it be?"

"The farm is a few miles outside town, so I should be back by the time you're finished, around five. You ready to do your first solo job?"

"It's no big thing, but yeah. We should do well today. Just in time to pack up again."

"Can't very well stick around after we hit all the stages Dutch has his eyes on. But I am gonna miss where we're at, we always do well when we settle at the base of the grizzlies. But I think Hosea needs somewhere a bit warmer. I wouldn't mind being back in Montana though."

"I loved the desert, the nights were amazing. Do you know where we are going after this?"

"Dutch and Hosea have a few ideas, but I keep hearing California."

"It's been a long time since I've seen the ocean. It will be nice since we've been in the mountains for months."

"There are still mountains in California."

"But we can always take a trip to the coast. Remember when we were down in New Mexico and we spent like 6 weeks right on the water?"

"I remember Dutch getting stung by a jellyfish and complaining about it the whole time. And that I had to make sure you didn't run off into the ocean every few seconds. It was exhausting."

"I was seven Arthur, I was a little kid who was excited. There were cool birds and all the seashells and the weather was almost always nice. At least I didn't hide as far away from the water as possible like John did. Remember how bratty he was when it stormed or if we were all at the shore and he would just sit back at camp and pout that he was there all alone? I wish John had been willing to learn how to swim, I think he would have loved our time there much better."

"How are you and Sean?" Arthur asks, quickly changing the subject. John had been back about 9 months and Arthur still hasn't fully forgiven the man for leaving and refused to really acknowledge him. It was awkward most of the times for Hazel, she was so happy to have him back, but the tension between Arthur and John was hard to bare. She knew it was going to be a long road back for the two, but she didn't think it would take this long.

"Very subtle Arthur, not that you actually care but I think we're okay. He seems to be taking things more seriously and the last job we went on there were no bullets used. I'd call that a big improvement."

"He's done causing trouble with Javier right? I'm sick of breaking up their fights."

"He better be, Javier and I are friends. Sean never had an issue with us going out before and he better get that it's not going to be a problem now. I don't get pissy when he goes on jobs with Karen even though everyone in camp knows what they used to do."

"I don't care about how to resolve the issue, just get it taken care of."

"It's taken care of Arthur, promise."

The two ride the rest of the way into town with very little spoken between them other than Arthur giving Hazel some last minuet advice for the job she was doing. It was fairly easy, she was posing as a maid to get the stage shipping list for a company that, according to Dutch, were lacking in basic safety for the workers and not giving them the full cut of their pay. So off into town Arthur, John, Hazel, Hosea, Mary-Beth, and Javier had gone, Hazel was the first one to make contact with the wife of the owner and Hazel had convinced her to give Hazel a job to care for her sick father. She had spent the last week in the house, keeping her ears and eyes open as she shook out bedding and dusted shelves.

Not all of the gangs dealing these days were falling into the neat package Dutch had pounded into their heads a few years back, not all of their hits were on bad people, so it felt good to be doing what they had originally set out to be. Even if Arthur wasn't as lucky. They parted ways on the outskirts of town, Arthur telling her that Javier would be at the west end of town and Sean would be at the east if she got into trouble. Hazel slipped her leg over Goliath's neck so she was riding side-saddle and smoothed the creases in her dress and tucked her hat into the saddle bag, trying to look as helpless as possible.

She hitched Goliath where she always did at the back of the large house and walked in the side entrance to the house and in the kitchen, like always, was a list of things for her to do. It was Friday and she was normally asked to air out Mr. Ambrose's study before the weekend and Hazel was happy that it wasn't changing today. Hazel started on the list, making the study be the last thing she did. Hazel walked up the stairs and started stripping the bed sheets on all the beds and rolling them into balls and tossing them into the basket that would be taken by the laundry boy around noon, then she put on new sheets, the fitted ones always giving her a harder time than she liked to admit, but finally the bed was made. She picked up the basket and as she made her way to the door her foot caught on a dragging sheet and she tripped and hit the floor just as the door opened and Mr. Ambrose stood in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry sir, I tripped, I'll be right out of your way." Hazel says quickly and quietly, trying not to sound as annoyed as she felt.

"It's quite alright Maggie, happens to the rest of us." He says as he grabs Hazel's hand and pulls her to her feet, and Hazel lowers her head to look at her feet so he can't see her disgusted face as he rubs his hands down her arms. "No damage done, as smooth as ever."

"Excuse me sir, I need to get these downstairs before Bobby gets here." Hazel says ducking out of his arms reach and gathering the fallen basket close to her.

"Of course, I need to be going as well; I realized halfway to the office that I left my watch here. Please tell Edith that I will be home late tonight." He smiles and steps out of the way, Hazel quickly walks away from the man whose eyes she could feel boring into her back.

Even if he wasn't as corrupt as Uncle Dutch says when it came to his workers, Hazel was glad they were going to rob the man simply because he was a creep that had issues with keeping his hands to himself.

Hazel stayed in the back of the house until Mr. Ambrose left before she went upstairs to do the rest of the rooms on the list. Arthur wasn't going to be back until around five, so she had several more hours to fill. Good thing is Friday was always her busiest day, Edith Ambrose didn't like any of the servants around on the weekends so all the work had to be done on Friday. Hazel swept the stairs, washed windows, emptied the waste bins, cleaned the front porch, dusted all the shelves, and by the time 4:30 rolled around the only things she had left to do was the study. Edith had come home around three and after Hazel told her what Mr. Ambrose had said the older woman promptly said that she was going to stay at Mrs. Lupin's house and that she was expecting Mr. Ambrose to come and walk her home. Giving Hazel free run of the house.

The study was a fairly large room, the desk smack in the middle of it. Hazel opened the windows and slowly made her way around the room with her duster, opening all the drawers and cabinets looking for the list. Hazel knew he brought it home the day before and it would be reviewed over the weekend and turned in on Monday. Hazel just needed to see it and figure out where and what the stages were going to be carrying. She didn't even have to take it out of the house.

After she made her way around the sides of the room and coming up empty she knew she was going to have to look in the desk. She pulled off one of her earrings and tucked it into her pockets since the cook was still in the house, and while he shouldn't come up here, the man did sometimes seek her out when his work was done and he wanted to chat. She slowly dusted the top of the desk, her eyes pouring over the papers on the top, pulling the top drawers open, ears strained to make sure there were no sounds of anyone coming up the stairs as she looked. The 3rd drawer reveiled the list and Hazel pulled it to the top of the desk and flipped it open, grabbing a blank page and pen from her pocket as she poured over the list. There were five in the next week that looked like what Dutch was looking for, a few smaller ones that they might consider. Hazel looked over the pay ledger for the guards and saw that they were also being short changed for the dangerous job they were doing.

Hazel froze when she heard steps in the hall and she quickly put the folder back and shoved her list in the bodice of her dress and tossed the earring on the ground and dropped to her knees as the door opened. Hazel popped her head over the desk and saw Mr. Ambrose, who froze at the sight of her before he slowly smiled. "Maggie, what a surprise to see you on the floor two times in one day."

"I'm sorry, I was airing out the room and dusting and my earring fell out, they were a gift from my dear mother and I cannot bear to lose them."

"Well, let me see if I can help." Hazel quickly scans the floor, trying to find where the damn thing landed, hoping to grab it before the man came over. She had to bit her tongue when he dropped to his knees beside her, pressing into her as he did so and giving her a sideways smile before looking at the brown rug with her.

Hazel felt herself break out into a cold sweat, the paper tucked away seeming to feel much bigger than it actually was and she had an irrational fear that it would fall from the fabric. It was tucked fairly far down and it would take some effort to get it out, but it still worried Hazel in the back of her mind. "Found it." The man beside her said as he pulled the brass colored circle from the ground. He pushed himself from the ground and again grabbed Hazel's hand and pulled her to her feet. Hazel reached out to take it.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Ambrose, I would have been so sad if I would have lost it."

"Please Maggie, let me." He says pushing Hazel's hand away and cupping her chin and turning her head, Hazel held her breath and tried to keep her hand from twitching. Her knife tucked into the side of her boot feeling too far away and small to be helpful in this situation. The man's hands felt too hot as he placed the earring back into her ear and she swallowed as his hand brushed down the side of her neck, pulling part of her hair forward as he did. "Beautiful."

"Thank you for finding it Mr. Ambrose-"

"Gilbert, call me Gilbert."

"Thank you for finding it sir, it means a lot to me. Mrs. Ambrose wanted me to tell you she was wanting you to walk her home from Mrs. Lupin's home." Hazel says taking a step back from the taller man. If push came to shove Hazel was sure she could get away from him, he was built like John, a tall bean pole, but he worked behind a desk and probably had very little muscle in his frame like what John had. But she didn't want to break her cover, he thought she was weak and quiet. She wanted to keep it that way so none of the robberies would look like she had leaked the info. She needed her face out of his mind when all of this went down.

"Oh I know all about where Edith is. Clucking away with that brooding hen about how terrible their husbands are. I have no idea why John puts up with her, but I guess the same could be said for me and Edith. Our days of silly romance are long gone."

"I'm sorry sir, it's not my place to know these things, please excuse me." Hazel turns and tried to walk away, but a sharp hand on her arm stops her from going to far.

"Is there anyone in your life Hazel? I young girl like you, even under those rags I can see how beautiful you are. No man is blind enough not to see you from across the room."

"I spend my time with my father or finding work. That's whats important to me right now, sir." Hazel tries to keep the bite out of her voice as she tries to tug her arm free, his hand wrapping tighter around, squeezing the limb tight.

"What a shame, all work and no play. That's no way for anyone to live." The man steps closer and gives her a tug and she lands against his chest, his free hand wrapping around her middle. "I could make sure you have some fun in your life. I could send for a doctor to look after your father. I know the wages my wife gives you are not enough to pay for one full time."

"Sir, please, you have a wife, this is-."

"Maggie, I'm not asking for much, you're so innocent, I wont push you unless you want it, I'll give you time to think about it. Just let me give you something to think about before you go."

Hazel had to clench her hands into the man's shirt to stop herself from punching him in the face as he pressed his chapped lips and prickly mustache to her lips. Hazel gritted her teeth together as tight as possible so he couldn't get inside her mouth if he took it that far, and to stop her from biting him as one hand cupped her chin and the other hand slid down her backside.

The kiss lasted a few moments, he had tried to coax her mouth open a few times and Hazel felt him chuckle when she let out a fake moan to cover up the annoyed grunt that tried to make itself known. When he pulled away hazel dropped her eyes to the floor, trying to seem nervous about what just happened and to keep the furry from her eyes as well.

"Think about what I can offer you Maggie. Have a good night."

Hazel quickly ducked her head and ran out the door, Mr. Ambrose's deep laugh making her blood boil more than it already was. She quickly mounted Goliath and galloped away from the house. She was supposed to meet the boys at the saloon so she forced herself to ride over there, she saw Javier sitting on the steps and Hazel stopped in front of him, "I got it, I'm going to a ride. See you back at camp." Then she was gone before Javier raised his head to look at her.

Javier just stared after her as she rode away, he always felt like she was leaving him in a cloud of dust these days. He walked back into the saloon where Arthur and Sean were playing five finger fillet and told them what happened, the boys mounting up and following the trail that Hazel left on her way out of town.

They catch up with her at the mouth of the river a few miles outside town, Goliath is tied to a tree and the dress is in a pile on the ground, the splashing sound having them turn their heads to see Hazel swimming fast back and forth in the river, the current stopping her from swimming as fast but she was still swimming hard. They all could tell she was pissed.

Arthur had sent Javier back to camp to let them know what was going on, then he and Sean tied their horses up away from the river a ways and sat and waited for Hazel to come out of the water, she was working out her anger and they didn't need to see it up close. Arthur looked over the dress to make sure it was still in one piece and free of blood in case she was hurt, none of them had seen the law take off towards the house, and Javier had said that Hazel told him she had what they needed. But something had happened or she wouldn't be this mad.

Sean was tapping his foot in the tall grass as they waited, it was only Arthur's voice that stopped the man from going into the water and demanding to know what was wrong with Hazel. "Relax kid, she's fine, just mad. Let her work it out and then she'll let us know what happened."

"You're sure her dress was fine Morgan?"

"I already told you it was, why do you keep asking about the damn dress?"

"She told me the owner was a right creepy bugger. Liked to let his hands wonder where they had no right to wonder."

"When did she say this?"

"A few days ago, said she could handle it and that it was fine."

"And you didn't think to mention this to anybody."

"She asked me not too, I'm not going to go blabbing about things she don't want me to blab about."

"There is a difference between blabbing to blab and telling us if she's in danger!"

"She said she could handle it, and I trust her-,"

"You still need-,"

"Will you two shut up!" a loud voice calls from the river, Sean and Arthur get to their feet and watch as Hazel walks out of the river, her underclothes soaked with a slight green color from the water. "I was trying for a realizing swim and you two decide you're gonna yell and ruin it." She reaches into her saddle bag and pulls out some extra clothes. "Watch the road while I change." She stands beside Goliath and uses the large horse as a screen while she changed.

She comes wraps the wet clothes in the dress and tosses them on the hooks of her saddle and then walks over to Arthur and hands him the paper with the information on it. "Three have payroll. Three days next week. A few smaller loads of supplies and every day from all over the place."

"Any trouble getting this?" Arthur asks, looking her over.

"Nope, got it just fine. Ready to head home? I'm hungry.

The ride back to camp is quiet, which just grated on Hazel's nerves more than she was wanting. She her swim didn't help as much as it was supposed to and she still felt her skin crawl. She was going to go home, eat and drag Sean to bed early.

But her wish of that evening was shot to shit as soon as camp came into view, Lenny was on guard duty and he flagged Arthur down and told him that Dutch brought a new person into camp. Some beefy blonde guy names Micah Bell.

Hazel just wanted to scream. Another person meant another mouth to feed and who knew what kind of guy he would be. Would he be another Uncle or would he be like Charles? Would he be an asshole like Bill? A new person also meant that there would be a party and even though Hazel knew she wouldn't have to go to the party, she wouldn't be able to sleep since a party meant alcohol and singing.

The trio hitches the horses up and Hazel glances around camp and sees her father and Dutch around the new man, he was a bit of a plump and had a stupid looking moustache, and had a loud voice that made Hazel narrow her eyes. Arthur and Hazel exchange a glance before Arthur rolls his eyes and walks towards where the group was gathered. Sean places his hand on her shoulder and gives her a smile.

"Would you mind getting me some food? I just wanna lay down. Honest days work is harder than what I'm used to."

"Not gonna meet the new guy?"

"No, I'll meet him soon enough, I want to get some sleep before the party takes sleep totally off my plate." Hazel says as she presses a kiss to Sean's cheek and walks towards her tent. Sean didn't stay in it all the time, but a lot of his stuff still made its way in there and Hazel grabbed one of his shirts and wrapped her arms around it as she laid down on the cot. It was too hot to get under the blankets even though she really wanted to put another layer between her and the outside.

A few moments later Sean came in with a bowl full of stew that Hazel ate fairly quickly since she was very hungry, tossed the bowl out the tent flaps and pulled Sean down next to her, he wraps his arms around her as she snuggles against his chest. "You wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"He kissed me." Hazel says, gripping Sean tighter when she felt him tense up. "Calm down, I'm fine. If we weren't planning on robbing him blind I would have taken care of it right then. That man has yet to realize he owes his life to a group of outlaws."

"Fucking pig." Sean growls, pulling her tighter. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, was just a kiss, a shitty kiss at that. No wonder he and his wife have no kids if that's the best he can offer."

"I don't care about his skills or lack of them, I care about you."

"I promise I'm fine. The swim helped, washed his slimy hands off me."

"You said it was just a kiss." Sean says, his voice raising a bit at the thought of a strange man putting his hands on Hazel,

"You try and kiss someone without your hands, he had a hold of me while he did it. He touched my butt, that's it. If you don't calm down I'm not going to tell you anything ever again."

"I'm sorry, it's just…."

"I know, but like I said, I'm fine. Can you just hold me for a bit? At least until I fall asleep."

"Hosea and Dutch wanna talk to you about what you found."

"They will come find me when they have a moment, they won't talk shop in front of the new guy. I can't sleep if you don't shut up."

"Sorry, night Hazel."

"Night Sean, love you."

"Love you too."

March 1899

"Karen! Catch!" Hazel yells crashing through camp and tossing Arthur's hat to the blonde who was also running fairly fast away from a fuming Arthur who was trying his best to not look like he was being bested by a bunch of girls. Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Jenny were running from Lenny and Sean holding the boys' boots tight in their hands. It wasn't often that the group was well off enough for a day off. One day that Dutch had called where no one was to work or leave camp, they were just going to enjoy the day. And this was the result, a bunch of grown-ups acting like teenagers and Hosea rubbed his temples at the shrieks and giggles that were filling the air before giving Dutch a look that said this was all his fault.

The girls had been down in the river enjoying being out from under Susan's thumb and rubbing their skin with the small river rocks and sand to clean their skin when Sean, Lenny, and Javier had sprinted out from the tree lines and pushed all 5 of them in the river. This resulted in the girls pouncing on the boys and wrestling them to the ground and pulling off their boots and threatening to drop them in the river. Arthur had gotten involved when he showed up to see what all the ruckus was about and Hazel decided he needed to loosen up too and snatched his hat from the top of his head and running off with it.

Arthur took off after Karen who yelled at Tilly who grabbed the hat and took off around the chuck wagon, she passed it off to Hazel who dashed right past Arthur who was not expecting the fast pass off and when Arthur caught Tilly Hazel was on the other side of the camp waving it in the air. Lenny had caught Jenny and he was trying to get his boot out of her hands and Mary-Beth was tyring to fend off Sean and Javier, only succeeding when Abigail joined them in a rare moment for her and freed Mary-Beth from Sean's hold on her skirts.

"Hazel I swear if you don't give me my hat back right now!" Arthur yells from one side of the poker table as he and Hazel dance about the sides, Hazel trying to get away and Arthur trying to catch her.

"Oh, I'm so scared, what's big old Arthur Morgan going to do about it?" She says as she plops that hat down on her own head and sticks her tongue out at him.

Arthur makes like he's going to run to the right and as Hazel goes the opposite way he flips the table over and tackles her to the ground. Hazel screams as she falls to the ground with a thump, her hands going to the top of her head to hold the hat in place as Arthur tries to pull it off, soon Arthur's hands move from the hat to Hazel's sides and starts wiggling his fingers up and down her rib cage.

"NO! Arthur! No! Stop!" she yells out in between giggles, wiggling her body all over the place to get away from the dancing fingers.

"Give me my hat!"

"Never!"

Uncle, Reverend, and Pearson all sat on the log with beer in their hands laughing loudly at the free show; Susan was shaking her head and trying to focus on her book from where she sat next to Mr. Strauss. Bill and Micah were sitting by the scout fire, keeping guard but not being on actual guard duty it seemed. Dutch and Hosea had been sitting at the domino table with their own books that they long abandoned to simply talk. "This is what happens Dutch, when you let the children have a day off. Little Jackie is better behaved than they are." Hosea says looking at the boy who was playing in some tall grass with a lizard he had found not long before the peace of the day was interrupted.

"It's good for them Old Girl, let them have one day."

"You're going to think one day when we don't have a camp left. I thought we were done with teenagers after John?"

"The only ones that are teenagers are Lenny, Jenny, and your daughter. Lenny is just using this as an excuse to get Jenny in his arms." Dutch says pointing at where the two in question were now sitting under a tree, Lenny's arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"John!" Hazel yells from where she is still pinned under Arthur. "John help!"

John shakes his head from where he is leaning against another tree, smoking on his new brand of cigarettes that he had discovered. "You know better than to touch his hat."

"John!" Hazel yells again, but the rest of the sentence is broken off by another laugh. "Okay, okay! Uncle! I give! Arthur!" Hazel yells tossing the hat off her head and crossing her arms over her chest, trying to get Arthur away from her ticklish sides.

"I warned you." He says as she stands up and pulls Hazel to her feet once she stopped laughing so much. Arthur walked over and picked up his hat, dusted it off and set it on his head again. Arthur takes a few steps away only to stop and turn and point a finger at Hazel who had made a move to lunge at his back and retake the hat. "Don't even think about it little girl."

"I wasn't going to do a thing!" Hazel says with her hands up and a huge smile on her face.

Hazel breaks into giggles as Arthur slowly turns back around and tried to press his hat closer to his head. She shakes her head and tries to calm herself down and plants herself down on a crate across from Charles, who has spent most of the free day to himself, as was normal for Charles to do. "Mind if I join you?" she asks taking some deep breaths though her smile.

"You already have." He says simply back, not looking up from the arrows he is cutting.

"I can go if I'm bugging you." Hazel says, not offended by Charles' words, he was a bit of a loner.

"No, it's okay. How did you manage to get his hat in the first place?"

"Oh I can be very sneaky when needed Mr. Smith. But it was luck mostly."

"Dumb luck can be more useful than skill sometimes."

"That's the only reason I can think of as to why Sean is still alive." Hazel says with a giggle as she looks to where Javier and Sean are now having an arm wrestling match, neither man has on their boots.

"I thought it was just thanks to you. You always seem to get him out of his scrapes."

"Give me the cut ones, I'll put them together for you." Hazel says motioning at the pile of arrow shafts at Charles' feet. He kicks them over to her along with the bag of cut arrowheads and string. "Sean's not too bad with what he finds, he just has a problem with rushing in without thinking. I figured all the times he was sent on jobs with dad would take care of that, but apparently not."

"One day he's going to rush into a bear cave and get himself eaten."

"Probably. But there is a reason Uncle Dutch doesn't let us go anywhere alone."

"Dutch knows how to keep his people taken care of."

"He's pretty good at it."

Later that night most of the camp is drunk sleeping, or both, Hazel drug Sean to his normal bedroll in the lean too he shared with Lenny and Javier and tossed the blanket over him before going to the fire and sitting down again. Hazel hadn't gotten too crazy since tomorrow they were going to finish the trek they started a few weeks ago and they would be outside of some small trading town called Blackwater right before nightfall. Hazel kinda figured that was the whole point of giving them the whole day off. It had been a long journey from the camp in the grizzlies that had caught fire due to a lightning strike and burned up a few things before they were able to get it out, several tents and a table and one wagon, the wagon was a hard loss but Hazel had been so sad when she found out Arthur's journal had been lost too. She was hoping he would pick one up when they got to a town and Arthur stopped acting like he wasn't missing his favorite hobby.

"Mind if I join you Hazel?" a low voice sounded from her left and Hazel felt herself cringe a bit, but looked at Micah and nodded. He sat down on the log beside her, there was space between them, but not as much as she would like. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, It's nice just being with everyone doing nothing."

"Get many days like this?"

"No, I think the only reason is because of all the rough travel we've done the past few weeks. It's hard always being on the move."

"Isn't that what this life is? Always moving."

"I mean, we're always on the move, but we normally stop and set up for a few weeks at least. We haven't been anyplace longer than a few days in a long time."

"How is camp chosen? Like what makes one woods better than another?"

"I don't know, I'm not a part of that. I just go where I'm told."

"Surly you're a part of that inner circle that Morgan and Marston are in with Dutch and Hosea?"

"I'm not as in the loop as you'd think. I mostly deal with Ms. Grimshaw."

"But you go out and do things for the group? My first day you were off on your own. Most of the time Dutch doesn't seem to let anyone go off on their own."

"Why are you asking all this Micah? You've been here a few months now, what makes you think my answers are going to be any different than what you've already seen?"

"I'm just curious is all Hazel, you were a baby when Hosea brought you here, you've known nothing else. Every little girl wants to live a different life than the one they have."

"How would you know what little girls want? And for your information, this is my family, I'd never leave them. No matter how long I've lived like this."

"Relax, I didn't mean nothing by it. Just simmer down. I just came over here wanting to make conversation and you fly off the handle."

"Micah, you're an idiot. Excuse me." Hazel pushed herself off the log and goes to her tent, flipping the canvas down behind her.

As she laid down on the bed she let out a breath. Ever since Micah had joined he was always asking her questions, about her life, growing up in the gang, jobs they had done, anybody who was in the gang that wasn't there now. It was annoying and very invasive. Micah didn't seem like a bad man, just a wind bag with an inflated sense of self importance. Hazel had seen her dad, Arthur, and even Charles knock him down a few times when he caused too much of an uproar, but he never seemed to be down for long.

The next morning Hazel and Hosea rode off as camp was collapsed again behind them. Hosea had wanted to spend some time with his daughter and riding ahead to make sure the planned spot for the new camp was still a good option. Goliath was bigger than Silver Dollar so Hazel was up higher than her father, but Hosea always seemed bigger than life for the teenager, and it was nice to be out with him. They normally didn't get to spend time away from camp just the two of them.

"When was the last time you were out this way dad?"

"Years ago, back before I met your mother. Dutch and I were following the coast line of Flat Iron and there was this little hole in the ground town, but back then it was more of a black market sort of town. Overran with outlaws and souls of the damned. We made a decent bit when we were this way back then. I'm sure it hasn't changed that much since then. We can make some money and keep going on to our next destination. One day Dutch's grand plans will all work out and we can take all our ill-gotten gains and retire by the ocean."

"I love the ocean. We could get a boat, eat fish all day and drink rum in the sun."

"You've been talking to Javier again haven't you?"

"He had a good life when he lived by the water, and Pearson can talk about it all day every day. It's nice that they have something solid like that to remember from growing up. I never had anything like that. We were always moving. One day I'd have flat plains and the next I'd have rocky mountains, then a hot desert the day after. I think it would be nice to have an actual house somewhere, live in the same place forever."

"Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice to bring you into this." Hosea says after a few moments of silence after Hazel spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"After your mother died, I was a mess. When we found out we were going to have you, we prepared for you to not make it, then the months dragged on and you were growing in your momma and the more I relaxed, thinking it was all going to work out. Then next thing I knew was you were here and she was gone. I reached out to my best friend right when I was told that there wasn't hope for the both of you. You're Uncle Dutch was there, taking charge like he always did, and I was in no place to take care of you on my own. So we went with them. And while I was trying to drag myself out of the bottle I had crawled into you grew up on me. You loved Arthur and Annabelle so much, that I couldn't pull you away from them, even if I had my feelings on you being forced into this life without a say. I always wanted to do right by you."

"I think you did. Has it always been easy? No, but it's been amazing. I don't think I could have a closer family than the one I have now. I have more people looking out for me than most people living straight. I mean, just look at basically everyone you or Dutch have brought in, they were in that nice, straight world and they were treated like dirt. I'm glad I never had to go through any of that. I never went to bed scared or hungry or alone. So please don't think you made the wrong choice dad. I love my life."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, because I know I cant get out of it, especially not at my age, and I don't think I could just sit by and let you leave. It hurt us all when John left, I don't think I could handle it if you left me."

"I wont dad, promise. If John taught me anything is that it's the people you leave behind that hurt. And I cant hurt you like he did. I love you too much."

"I love you too kiddo."

NOTE

I know that in game John is only gone for about a year or a little over a year. Jack was born in 1895 and everything I found says John left about a year after he was born so that would have him leaving sometime in 1896 and coming back in 1897. In this story I had him leave in May of 1896 and have him come back in April 1898, making him gone just under two years.

All the Spanish translations are from Google and I have no idea if they are even right. I took Spanish once in High School and I failed it. My knowledge of the language is counting to ten and some of the colors.

All the town names were generated though a name generator from a Google search and I have no idea if places with those names exist or even how to pronounce them, I just thought they looked cool and went with them.

And finally we are in Blackwater. I'm going to use a YouTube video that I will try and link below since it has a lot of information about the ferry job on it, I'm also going to keep the ferry job pretty vague since I know most RDR fans have their own theories about what happened, and I have my own as well that I'm probably going to use in this story.