"Slipping Into Darkness...Station 51 Loses One Of Their Own"

This was inspired by the song "Slipping Into Darkness" by War. A great seventies tune that has inspired more than one story! This is the first story it has inspired in the E! fandom.

I am going to keep all the main characters in canon as much as I can. Most of the guys are married and have kids except for Chet. Mike and Sam do not have children yet, This is being done in the first person POV which will be Hank's, the one I am most comfortable with.

I do not own any characters from Emergency! If I did, would be blissfully married to Hank, Mike, Marco and Kel. All original characters belong to me and are not for public domain except Emily Stanley and Chris and Jenny Desoto.

It has been one year. Three hundred sixty-five days. Twenty-one thousand nine hundred hours since this nightmare began. Sometimes it feels like ten years instead of one. Flashing back to a year ago, we as a station wanted to get together on a day off and spend a day at the beach. We spread the word to the wives, and they were excited about it. Mike found a great place for all of us to congregate. He said it was one of his favorite places to hit the sand with his dune buggy and walk along the beach with Sam very often watching the sunset. We all agreed we would meet there on the Saturday after on our day off.

Emily brought homemade potato salad, macaroni salad and a pineapple upside down cake. I did not object; Emily is a killer cook. Mike brought his famous fried chicken and spaghetti. His wife Sam brought a baked bean casserole and scalloped potatoes. Marco of course brought his famous Irish Stew and enchiladas and his wife Dee Dee brought Jell-O salad as only she can make because she had a special recipe for it and she called it "Latino style" and chocolate cake. John and his wife Keri brought hamburgers and hot dogs, Roy and Joanne brought all the condiments for the hamburgers and hot dogs along with the buns. Finally, Chet brought a crock pot full of his famous chili.

The big day finally came and there was food galore! My children and the Desoto kids always play very nicely with each other. They wanted to bury someone in the sand, and I got talked into being the one buried. The kids had such a good time "burying" me. It took a little while because I am so tall and of course Emily was on the scene with the camera. She did not want to miss this "Kodak moment." I could have done without it.

Marco and Dee Dee brought their special daughter Gabby over and helped her with the "burial." Gabby is six years old and is loved like crazy by us all. She was born perfectly normal but just after she turned four weeks old, she developed a high fever and she could not stop seizing and it really did a number on her. She is blind, drools constantly because she cannot swallow, has no motor skills and cannot walk, talk, hold her head up and is fed via g tube in her stomach. She knows people's voices and will smile so sweetly if she knows you. Marco and Dee Dee are wonderful parents to her. Dee Dee is pregnant again and Marco wants a boy who he wants to name Santana Juan Diego. Gabby's middle name is Santana. Before we started playing games, we all took a turn spoiling and loving on her.

After I got out from underneath the sand, we got a volleyball game going with the kids and had great fun. My seven kids Brannon, Brandt, Branyon, Branson, Brannigan, Brandy and Brandon, along with Jennifer and Chris Desoto just loved playing volleyball with us while we waited on the food to be prepared. Not long after that we were called to lunch and the smell of food was unreal. So good. Being that I am a Catholic Deacon I was asked to say the blessing. Once that was done, we started to eat but it was in a very orderly fashion. We were all appreciative of the wives efforts to make sure everyone got what they wanted. The food was amazing. We had a lot of fun and fellowship with one another. The mood was very light and happy. Gabby started get a little fussy, so I got up and went over to her and gently took her out of her stroller chair and carried her over to our table so that Marco and Dee Dee could relax and enjoy their food. I told them not to worry; I was fine with her company. I sat her in my lap and rested her head on my chest. Emily and the kids enjoyed fussing with her and giving her all the love she could handle. Brandy our youngest is only three and she does not quite understand it all and I told her all she needed to do was to always be nice to Gabby and treat her with love. We are thankful that we have Gabby because the young children can learn about kids that were different from them; to treat them with love, respect and dignity and to never ever judge them or make fun of them.

After we ate, we knew we had to keep the kids rather tame for at least an hour so that they could digest their food properly. Mike suggested dune buggy rides. It sounded good to us, so we took turns. Marco wanted to take Gabby and Dee Dee was not real crazy about the idea. Dee Dee is sometimes a little too overprotective of Gabby and sometimes it is a bit obnoxious especially around us. She knows we would never let anything happen to her. Mike promised Dee Dee he would go nice and easy and keep it as safe as possible. She gave him her blessing for Gabby to go for a ride. Mike took her and sat her on his lap and propped her head on his chest. Mike was really enamored with Gabby because him and Sam had been trying for quite some time to have a baby and were not able to. He had a special bond with her as we all did. Marco had to get some pictures and Mike helped her "wave" and tickled her and we got some sweet pictures of her laughing and smiling. Marco then hopped into the dune buggy and wanted to hold Gabby, but she made it clear she wanted to stay with her Uncle Mike. He fired up the dune buggy and away they went for a ride. He put her hands on the wheel and she "helped" him drive.

Dee Dee was worried about Gabby the whole time and Sam assured her Mike would go nice and easy with the precious cargo. About twenty minutes later they came back. Gabby was happy, and Marco told Dee Dee Gabby had a great time. Lots of smiles and laughs. Mike said she did a great job "helping" him drive. Dee Dee was happy. Marco took her from Mike so that Roy and his kids could take a turn. Joanne went along with them. I told Sam I thought Mike was enjoying giving rides. Sam said she just hoped Mike would not go too fast. I assured her Mike had a good head on his shoulders and would not put anyone in peril.

Twenty minutes later Mike and the Desoto's came back. Chris said the ride was "totally cool!" Roy and Joanne enjoyed it as well. Next Chet, John and Keri wanted to go. Just before they took off Chet said, "Pedal to the medal Bro" and Mike obliged him. Sam looked at me and said "See what I mean? It is too fast" and I was close to rolling my eyes and telling her she was irritating me. Instead I said "Yes, I saw. I think they will be fine. No kids are on board, so I think he can get away with it." She wasn't too happy with my reply, but she accepted it.

Twenty minutes later they came back, and Chet said his ride was "far out!" Johnny and Keri agreed with Chet. Now it was our family's turn. Emily went with Brannon, Brandt, Branyon and Brandy. Mike of course was on his best behavior because it was the Captain's family with my wife and children on board. Besides that Emily was four months pregnant at the time. He knew better than to pull any shenanigans.

Twenty minutes later they returned and said they all had a great time. Emily said Mike was a "perfect gentleman" behind the wheel. Next up was Branson, Brannigan, Brandon and me. When we took off, I told Mike I wanted a dune buggy too, but Emily would not let me have one. He asked why and I told him she said they were "too dangerous." We both rolled our eyes. It was an enjoyable trip and the boys seemed to love the wind blowing through their hair. We got back twenty minutes later, and I reminded Emily I wanted one of those and she said very pointedly "Over my dead body." I looked at Mike and said, "See what I mean?" and he nodded.

It was getting toward late afternoon and since we had time, we got into another volleyball game with the kids while the wives and Gabby were sitting on the beach watching us and the waves. We had a fun time with them. Chet and Johnny were on their team and Marco and Roy was on mine. They did not mind being outnumbered and were good sports about it.

Once it got toward suppertime we decided to head home. Gabby was getting fussy and Marco said it was probably because she had not yet had a nap. We helped each other get the leftover food back in the vehicles and Mike told Sam he wanted to take a couple of more rounds on the dune buggy. She really did not want him to, but he did any way. When he left, he was in high gear and she told him to slow down.

He was gone between five and ten minutes and tearing back and flew by us. Sam was upset and I told her not to worry because he knew what he was doing. Most of us were ready to leave when he came tearing back. He went to take what I believe was a sharp turn and when he did the dune buggy flipped over and he went with it and it landed on him pinning him underneath it.

Sam let out a blood curling scream and the crew all jumped into immediate action. We were in rescue mode immediately. We knew we had to get him out from underneath it and thankfully Chet had just bought two shovels that were still in his van. Him and I got busy on each side shoveling sand so that we could find a way to get to him. Marco took off quickly to the nearest gas station to call for help.

Johnny and Roy were helping by hand to dig out the sand. Sam was hysterical and the ladies took her away from us and up to the pavilion. Marco came back after what seemed to be an eternity and Station Ten came after him and took over the scene. They had to work fast because we called out to Mike more than once and did not get an answer. We did not know at that point if he was unconscious or dead. It took a little time to get the dune buggy off him but once they did the situation looked very grim. He was barely alive and holding on by a thread. Many prayers were going up pleading for his life. He was too young to die.

He was airlifted to Rampart and Sam was permitted to ride with him. We told her one of us would get the vehicle back where it belonged not to worry. She told us to leave the dune buggy where it was; she did not want it at her house ever again. We were all very rattled and headed home with the mood of the day changing drastically. Once we got home and Mike's truck home, I parked it in the garage. Emily followed me there and after we got home, I grabbed my small container I carry in my pocket of Holy Water in case Sam wanted me to anoint him. I jumped in my truck and headed for Rampart to meet the rest of the crew. As I drove to the hospital I prayed and had a talk with God and Florian the patron saint of firefighters. I asked Florian to pray with me and to protect Mike. Marco has a necklace he wears with Florian on it. I imagined he was more than likely having a conversation with him too.

Once we all met, we went inside to the emergency room and asked about Mike. The receptionist on duty told us to have a seat because they were still working on him. We all did that and were all praying for him. Johnny broke the silence and said "How could something like this happen? I mean we were having such a fun day. It could not have been a more perfect day. I just do not get it." It took me a minute to respond because I wasn't even sure what to say and I said "I do not think any of us gets it so do not feel bad. I am really worried about Sam too. All they have is each other. I don't know if she can live without him if we were to lose him God forbid."

Not long after I said that Sam came out of the treatment room with Dr. Brackett to bring us an update. "Gentlemen it does not look good at all. Mike is headed for surgery because I believe he is bleeding internally. He has multiple broken and cracked bones and his body is a mess. I think if he gets through surgery, I will consider it a miracle. I will check back later. I have to get him to surgery. Keep praying."

We sat back down and told Sam we were going to stay with her until Mike came out of surgery. She was so out of it, so I suspected Dr. Brackett gave her something to take the edge off. She looked at me with tear filled eyes and asked me "Why did he not listen to me Cap? I told him more than once to watch his speed. Dear God, why did he not listen to me?" and I said "I don't know. He has driven the dune buggy for a while now and knew his limits, but I think he might have thought he could push the limits a little more although that was pretty much out of character for him. So in a way it is hard to explain to say the least." She started to cry, and I held her and comforted her. We all felt so helpless because there wasn't anything more we could do. I knew our emotions were hanging on by a thread much like our
engineer's life was.

I asked Sam if she contacted Mike's parents and she said she had not yet. I asked for their phone number so that I could call them. She gave me the number and I called them. They lived two hours away and they were grateful that I called. Mrs. Stoker started to cry when I was talking to her. Mr. Stoker got on the line and he told me they were on their way and were very grateful that I called. I told them to have a safe trip over. After I hung up I told Sam they were on their way.

About forty-five minutes later Doc Brackett approached us. "He was bleeding internally. I got that under control. I had to remove his spleen. He is on total life support in the ICU. He is in grave condition. I make no promises. We will have to go day by day. I am sorry Sam I cannot give you much more than that. If you need me let me know. I am going to check on him." Sam asked to go along with him, and he granted it.

The crew and I all sat back down feeling like the rock of Gibraltar had fallen on us all. Roy brought up a concern he had. "Cap if he has to be taken off life support do you think Sam will do that?" and I gave it some thought and said "That is a good question Roy. I am going to share something with all of you and you must never tell her that you know this and that is an order." Everyone nodded their acknowledgement and I continued. "When I first took over Station 51 Mike came to my office and we had a serious discussion. He told me he had paperwork that was done if he were to be injured. It states that if there is no hope or if he is declared brain dead, under no circumstances is he to be hooked up to any kind of machinery to keep living. It was all legal drawn up by his lawyer. I hope and pray we will not have to use it. But if we do, I have his back."

Marco thought he was wise to do that and asked if Sam knew about it and I told him I felt sure she did not. I said a silent prayer that I would never have to use it but with my luck I had doubts. One of the nurses walked over to us and said if we wanted to see Mike we could go up and see him. We headed for the elevator and up to the ICU. Sam said we could see him one at a time. I went first and when I walked into the room, I could not believe the sight I was seeing. I was overwhelmed and perhaps in a form of shock. I know a tear or two rolled down my cheeks. I wondered for a minute if I were in a nightmare and would wake up and find out Mike was fine. He had tubes coming in and out of his body, four IV's, the sounds of the heart monitor and the vent hissing with oxygen giving him life sustaining air. Did I spend a few precious minutes in suspended animation? Hell I did not know. I just knew after regaining my senses I was a leader and needed to act like one.

I walked over to the bed and gently took his hand and said "Mike? You Twit what the f*** have you done? I am going to tell you when you recover and come back to work, I am going to assign you to lifetime latrine duty no questions asked. Hang on tight Mike. We are all here for you and Sam." I told Sam if there was anything any of us could do for all she had to do is let us know. I hugged her and told her I would be back soon. Then I left the room.

I went to the ICU Waiting Room and told the guys what they would see and experience in Mike's room. Marco said "Dios Mio. Have mercy." I told them they could work out the turns between them They did, and each took a turn. When they came back in the ICU Waiting Room they were as rattled as I was, their eyes as wet as mine. I told them we should probably get going because his parents were on the way and I did not want to be there in that private moment. They agreed with me and we all took off and headed home.

Once I got home, I gave Emily an update. She was just as sad as I was. She had dinner ready and I called the children to dinner. Brandy asked me to change her. We are working on potty training with her but so much like me she is strong willed and does what she wants to. Plus, Emily and I think she just is not ready to potty train. I changed her and we both washed our hands and headed to the kitchen and put her in her highchair.

Emily said grace and we dug in. Since we had such a big lunch, we were eating light for supper. Ham salad sandwiches, chips, relish plate and lemonade to drink. We enjoyed it. My mind was on Mike totally focused on him. I was silently praying for Mike and I felt sure Emily was too. She like me had to be very strong in front of the kids. Brannon asked me how his Uncle Mike was, and I told him he was still hanging on. After supper, the kids wanted to play again so we went outside and played baseball. It was fun. I honestly think one of the boys are going to be a baseball player. Brannon and Brandt are both in Little League and they love it. Brannon is a pitcher and Brandt plays first base. For as young as they are they are really talented little buggers. Usually once a week we have a game at the house in the fenced in backyard.

One week later not much had changed. Mike was still on total life support and the activity in his brain was diminishing. Both Doc Brackett and Doc Early suggested to Sam to let Mike go because they honestly did not see how Mike was going to get better and she refused. She was on a "where there was life there was hope" trip and both doctors could not get through to her that it was only the dam machinery keeping him alive. Listen I know that Mike is all she has and she so wants to believe there was hope. It was difficult to tell if she knew that deep down. Her verbal actions left questions in my mind.

I have not said anything about what I had yet. Emily told me I needed to "stay out of it" but I pointed out to her that I gave my word and keeping promises has always been especially important to me. She asked me if it was valid off the job and if I established this when he handed the document to me. She still insisted that I stay out of it. I asked if we could agree to disagree and leave it there. She just shook her head. We decided to put the children down early because they were cranky especially Brandy. She was tired and was fighting the urge to sleep. We put her in her crib, and she grabbed her binky that we only allow her to have at night and ten minutes later she was out. That's another battle we are fighting. Getting that dam binky away from her once and for all. Another story for another time...

Once we got them all down and in bed, I told Emily I needed to be alone in the den for a while. She was fine with that. I was still wrestling in my mind with how I was going to present the document to Sam if he was declared brain dead. Her behavior befuddled me. She is a licensed psychologist and knows all this. The only connection I made was in her life it was different because Mike is all she had. In the emotional state she was in how would she take that document? Mike gave me that for a reason; it was my job to make sure that promise was kept. I suspect he asked me because he knew she could not do it. So in a way I was helping her and took the burden off her to make such a major tough decision. I got to wondering if his parents had a copy. He did not say so there were some doubts in my mind. What will they do if that time comes? Will they hate me? Oh God what a tough place for me to be in. I was torn; one part of me wanted to put that twit on lifetime latrine duty for doing such a stupid f***ing stunt; another part of me felt honored that he would entrust me with his end oi life wishes. I guessed I would have to see how it all played out.

The following week Mike was in fact declared brain dead with absolutely no hope of ever recovering. Kel and Joe told Sam as hard as it was, she really needed to let him go. This set off one hell of a fire storm that we were all afraid would happen. We dreaded it but were prepared. She was determined not to do the humane correct thing. It just blew my mind. She is an educated woman that helps other people with things like this for God's sake. She knew right from wrong. It made absolutely no sense at all and it pissed me off.

The crew knew I had the ace in the hole, and I knew it was time to execute it. I asked Kel if I could see him privately and we went to his office. He asked what was on my mind and I told him about the document that I had in my possession and he was surprised. I told him the story behind it and Kel said it was just what he needed to go forward with getting Mike off life support. I asked him if I could stay anonymous and he said he would try but could not guarantee it.

I asked him if we as a crew could say goodbye to Mike before he pulled the plug and he said we could. He would make sure to give me a call. He pretty much had free reign on when to use the document. In order for him to execute it I went the station really quick and I pulled it out of Mike's file. I took it back to Rampart and gave it to Kel who said "Perfect" when he seen it. I told him I wasn't so sure it was perfect; it put me in quite a clusterf*** but was feeling relieved I was able to carry out his last wishes.

I left Rampart and headed home. For some reason I did not want to face Sam. I knew I done the right thing. I didn't want her to tell me she hated me. I know it was cowardly to a point, but I just thought it was best for all concerned. I got home and told Emily what was going on and she just shook her head and said "Poor Sam. I don't know what this is going to do to her." I didn't want to know to be honest and found myself thanking God I wasn't going to be there when shit hit the fan.

Later that evening right after supper the call came for me to gather the crew so that we could say goodbye to Mike. After getting in touch with everyone we all met together at Rampart Emergency and once assembled headed to Mike's room. I went first and after a few words with Sam and Mr. and Mrs. Stoker giving them my sincerest sympathies. Then I approached Mike's bed. I took his left hand and tears welled up in my eyes. I was having a hard time finding the words, but I finally said "Hey Pal I guess this is goodbye. I want you to know it was a pleasure knowing you and working with you. You were a great friend to us all and I will never forget you. Go toward the light and I promise you we will all be here for Sam helping her any way we can. Rest well Mike. You will be missed. Goodbye for now until we meet again in Heaven." I wiped tears that fell down my cheeks and allowed myself to be Hank Stanley instead of Captain Hank Stanley. I gave Sam a hug and reminded her we would be with her every step of the way.

I left the room and the crew one by one said their goodbyes to Mike. As they were saying their goodbyes, Chief McConnikee came in. He knew we were incredibly sad and he said he was too for the same reasons. He said this was a tragedy of epic proportions. We totally agreed with him. I took him into the room and introduced him to Mr. and Mrs. Stoker and quietly exited the room. We all left Rampart with hearts incredibly heavy, still wondering if it was real or a nightmare we would wake up from and Mike would be just fine. Denial perhaps? It is after all the first stage of grief. As I drove home I shed a lot of tears. The road ahead of me was totally blurred by tears. Later that night at 2315, Mike went to Heaven. Dr. Early called to let me know and I called each crew member to let them know. After notifying everyone I took a walk to the end of the fence in the backyard. I cried and cried hard. I cried for a man struck down in the prime of his life. I cried for the loss we would all feel in our lives. I cried for Sam who was left behind as well as his parents having to bury their son at such a young age. I cried for myself for the loss of a good friend and a fine second in command that will never be replaced. Once I got it back together, I went back in the house and gave Emily the news. She too shed tears. It was an incredibly sad day for us all.

The next day was a workday. We were all so shocked and sad. It was all we could do to get through the shift and stay focused on calls. Dane Smith was chosen to be our new engineer and I was pleased. Dane and Mike had a cool relationship. Mike nicknamed him "Smitty" and Dane gave Mike the nickname "Stokes." He fit right in and loved to do pranks. I told him as long as they did not involve me everything would be fine.

Later that evening Sam called. I braced myself for the chewing out I just knew was coming and she shocked me! She was calm and if I could describe the sound of her voice I would have to say a cross between autopilot, exhaustion and relief that it was finally over. She asked me if I would deliver Mike's eulogy and if we as a crew could all be pall bearers and I told her the honor would be ours. Mike's parents were assisting with the arrangements and I was relieved she was not doing this alone. I reminded her if there was anything we could do to just let us know. Once everything was all figured out, she would call us back. I told her that was good because it would give me time to write the eulogy.

Once I was done talking to her, I let the crew know what we were asked to do and everyone agreed to participate. I went back to the office feeling relieved it was a super slow day and still a little amazed Sam didn't chew me out. She may have been too much in shock. I so wished Mike was on vacation and would be back with us alive and well. I still could not in private wrap my head around it all. Marco said something profound earlier when we were eating. If we weren't at Mike's funeral it was like we were safe in our own little bubbles not having to really deal with it. But once we go to the funeral, we will have to deal with it head on. Indeed. Johnny pointed out that it was "pretty heavy."

We all hit the hay on the early side, and we didn't get any calls through the night. I forgot to add when Dane was made official, he asked to speak with us all during roll call and he thanked us for the opportunity and he wasn't there to replace Mike rather to pick up where he left off. He like the rest of us wants to make Mike proud. Class act. I am going to take time to get used to him being permanent. I think everyone else is too. He got off to a great start.

A week later the much dreaded day came. Sam told us how she wanted everything to go and we were all ready. The mood was very sad and somber, but we knew we had to be strong for Sam. I was relieved to see Sam's parents came from Florida so they could help her through it. Mike thought a lot of his in laws. He didn't get to see them very often but always enjoyed them when he did. This was one of those very rare occasions where both the in laws got along very well with one another.

Emily and all the wives were there. I delivered my eulogy and shared a couple of comical memories I had of Mike to lighten the mood just a tad. The funniest one I had was when I first came to Station 51 and Johnny was pranking Mike frequently. Mike warned him several times to knock it off to no avail. So Mike decided to get him good. One day when Johnny wasn't paying attention Mike quietly went to the dorm and put flour, baby powder, corn starch and itching powder in his bed, on the sheets, on the pillow, turnouts and boots. I was quite sure Johnny didn't know Mike was responsible because Mike put some doubt in Johnny's head by telling him he wasn't the only prankster in the house. Chet strongly denied he was responsible, but Johnny never pranked Mike again after that. I looked in Johnny's direction after telling that story and he had a smile because I think he was reliving it as I talked about it. He finally knew it was Mike not Chet who did it.

After the service was over, we gently took Mike's coffin and put it in back of the engine for one last ride. Sam wanted me behind the wheel, which I have to say was odd feeling, Marco and Chet in their seats and Johnny Roy and Dane standing on the back of the engine. We went on a specific route on the way to the cemetery that Sam mapped out for us. After getting to the cemetery we lowered his casket off the engine and into the ground. Many of the crew's tears were shed because we were still in an element of shock. It was going to take a little bit more time to sink in. He would be very missed; our circle at 51's was officially broken. But in time Dane will help make that circle complete once again as we all get adjusted to the change in second in command. I have no doubts that he will do well especially with the attitude he has. For now all we can do is live a life that is honoring to Mike knowing he is watching and protecting us from Above.

After the funeral Sam had a great luncheon. We all sat together and it was nice to meet both sets of parents. Mrs. Stoker told me that she heard a lot about me, and Mike told her when he made Captain he hoped it was Station 51 he was assigned to and he would style his leadership a lot like my own. I told her it was one of the highest compliments I ever received and I thanked her for sharing that with me. She said Mike held me in highest esteem and I got choked up big time. It was such an honor that he thought that much of me.

We were able to enjoy the luncheon because we were celebrating his life. Sam told us that he had a collection of fire engines since he was little and in the back of the room they were on the table. She wanted us each to take a couple of them with us. They were for us only and we told her we felt greatly honored that she would give those to us. I told her they would find a great home on my mantle out of the reach of six boys who would probably love playing with them.

At the luncheon she gave other folks the chance to share their memories of Mike and we heard some good stories. Dane and his wife were invited to attend, and I was happy to see them. He had a couple of good memories to share. It was clear that he too thought the world of Mike and it affirmed to me that his hiring at Station 51 was a good one. We wondered how Sam would go on without him after the shock wore off. Time would tell. She would not be alone. We would be there always for her.

One Year Later…

It has been quite an adjustment period. Sam had big news for Mike that she was going to share with him the night of the accident. After ten years of trying she finally got pregnant. Sadly due to all the stress of Mike's death she had a miscarriage. We all felt horrible but later she told us it was a blessing in disguise because she didn't want to raise a child alone which is perfectly understandable.

Dane has been a great addition to the crew. He is very outgoing and fun to be around. He is a good cook; his specialty is meatloaf and garlic potatoes and we always have big smiles when he tells us that is on the menu. He takes wonderful care of the engine Mike named "Gahanna" and Dane says every time he sits in the engineer's seat he thinks of Mike. Chet swears that he can feel Mike's spirit in the station, and I think he could be right because every now and again I do too. Dee Dee took the picture of Mike she got of him and Gabby in the dune buggy and got a ten by thirteen of it made and framed and donated it to the station where it hangs in the office on the wall. It is a fantastic picture of them both and we can't help but smile every time we look at it. At times it is bittersweet but I try hard to remember the wonderful fun and fellowship of that day. Like Dee Dee we can just feel Mike looking down over us and protecting us from Heaven and we all agree with that.

We have stayed close to Sam as promised. We mow, trim, Marco did some painting there last week, I built a storage bin for the kitchen, fixed her dishwasher, things of that nature. She has since welcomed two German Shepherds in her home for protection since she lives alone. She named them Baja and Kaga and they are beauties. Her parents wanted her to move to Florida with them, but she didn't want to right away. She refuses to date; she said no one could replace her Mikey. She is back to work and says that keeps her sane. She misses Mike so very much like we all do, and it is part of the healing process.

Five months after Mike's death Emily and I welcomed a baby girl, BranLeigh Michelle after Mike. Brandy had a big problem with her at first but has since come around and loves her baby sister to death. BranLeigh's brothers love to dote on her as well.

I went back to the beach and got Mike's dune buggy because Sam told me she didn't really give a crap what happened to it. I rebuilt it little by little and drive it once in a while. Emily still doesn't approve but in this case I do not care. I was really glad I was the one that got it. I share it with the guys whenever they want it which is often. Chet said we can "commune" with Mike when we are in it. Chet is such a hippy at heart.

So all in all we aren't doing too bad. One day at a time. We know we will never forget him. Rest easy our brother. We love you and we miss you.

End.