Written for Febuwhump day 6 – Insomnia. Requested by Zeke


He couldn't sleep.

Since coming here, he hadn't slept much at all. Naofumi could tell himself it was the beds, the roughness of the sheets or the lack of a comforting rush of traffic just outside his bedroom window. He could tell himself the blue glare of the computer screen was what used to lull him to sleep.

But he knew he was wrong about that.

He knew, because he had tried to fall asleep and that had worked just fine. It was what happened after – the dark pitches and sneering voices, the dreams of being forced to his knees with the blade pressed to his neck being accused of something he had no memory of doing, something he knew he hadn't done. Unable to defend himself as every single person he trusted or thought of as a potential friend turned their backs on him.

He couldn't sleep, not if he wanted to hold onto his sanity. Which was already wearing thinner with the day.

Folding open the map, he traced the route they had taken today with his finger. The paper was uneven, hand-painted probably. They had to put down way too much gold for it, but the merchant hadn't wanted to sell to a degraded hero at first. Naofumi had insisted only because they needed this map if they wanted any hope of finding their way.

They could be at the next town in less than a day's travel if they left at dawn. Naofumi rubbed at his eyes, tried to stifle a yawn unsuccessfully but let it escape when the pounding in his head was only worsened by his efforts to keep it in. He screwed his eyelids shut, concentrating on the pain just so he could lock it out later.

That's how it worked. That's how it had to work.

He couldn't sleep.

"Why are you still awake, master?"

Raphtalia asked it in the way she asked everything, gentle reproach and genuine curiosity. Naofumi's head shot up, unaware that she had awoken. The blanket bunched around her hips, the loose fitted shirt she wore underneath her armor sliding off her slender frame. Her hair was slightly messy.

"Just... finishing some work." He closed the map. "Go back to sleep, Talia."

Her lips quirked up at the nickname. As she started shuffling closer towards him, Naofumi was already dreading where this was about to go. He could tell it from the soft glint in her bright eyes.

"How about I keep you company instead." Finally reaching her intended target, Raphtalia leaned against the same tree he was sitting against. "Uh, if you don't mind?" She averted her eyes, suddenly red in the face. Her boldness seemingly gone as quickly as it came.

Naofumi sighed. "Do whatever you want."

She smiled, shifting so she was more comfortable. In this position, she was using the side of his body as a pillow more so than the tree. The smell of fresh pine and smoke reached Naofumi suddenly, something so uniquely Raphtalia it was impossible for him to dislike. He was about to open the map again when a low whine interrupted him.

"No fair, you can't do things without Filo!" The little girl in question wasted no time extracting herself from the tangle her sleeping mat had become during the evening, skipping over to the pair. Her nightgown was bright blue with a pink bow on it. "You're both mean."

"It's not like I invited her," Naofumi muttered under his breath but went ignored.

Filo pouted for a moment, before deciding the best course of revenge was simply to insert herself into the situation. Raphtalia let out a wheeze when the girl plopped down into her lap, wasting no time in cuddling up between the two of them.

She really was like a little kid, Naofumi couldn't help but think. Getting jealous when her parents displayed any form of affection not directed at her.

The thought made him falter – more than aware of what this hypothetical would mean for Raphtalia and himself and feeling his heart quicken. He peeked at her from the corner of his vision but she had already closed her eyes, head resting sideways on his shoulder and one arm braced protectively against Filo's back so she wouldn't fall off her lap. Filo curled up smaller, comfortable in Raphtalia's arms and snuggled up to both of them.

And in that moment, the only two things Naofumi could see in this wretched world worth protecting.

He couldn't sleep. He couldn't imagine ever sleeping properly again.

But if he could find their peace, then he wouldn't mind settling for that.


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