-Chapter 36- When September ends-

-Quinn pov-

I only went home because I had to. Maribel stayed the night with Fran. Santana told me to go to school and she wanted to talk with Fran. I can't get what was said out of my head though. One sentence just bounces around. One sentence from Santana.

"I guess you never fully get out huh?"

I look from my bed over at Rachel and Brittany. They are still asleep. We aren't going to school today because our club told us not to. They said we needed to bounce back. But my thoughts are just on Rachel.

Will she ever be ok? Will she fall back just as bad as San did? Will she fall worse than San did? Oh god what if she kills herself right now?!

"Quinn?" I shake my thoughts away and notice I'm standing beside Rachel at her bed "You ok?"

"I Uh" Think! "I saw a spider over here and was gonna kill it"

"You've been watching her for a few minutes now" I look at Brittany who has the same worried look on her face "You wanna cuddle?"

"Why are you worried about me?" I don't know why I'm angry but I am "Worry about your girlfriend!"

"Quinn" Rachel sits up and puts her hands on mine "You are worrying me and scaring me"

"Are you ok?" I grab her pillow and fluff it some "Why don't you go to bed and I bring up breakfast?"

"Quinn!" I look at the doorway to see my mom and Shelby "Out here please"

I look back and see Brittany holding her phone. She sits it down and pulls Rachel into her. Oh god...I scared Rachel...I hurt Rachel!

"No let me fix this!" I go to reach for Rachel but I'm grabbed by my mom "LET ME FIX HER! IM NOT LOSING ANYONE ELSE! I-I can't let her die"

I feel myself let go and I breakdown. I sob into my moms shoulder as she holds me. I feel ya slowly lower to the ground as I sob out more. I feel so weak right now. I feel like I'm missing something important.

I feel like I'm missing my better half.

-Santana pov-

"You best be lucky I still know these people" Mom sits down a breakfast sandwich from McDonald's and a large coke "I don't think they would've let me bring this in if not"

"Thanks Mami" I look to my side at Fran who's picking at her sandwich "Still blaming yourself?"

"Not as much" She sighs and looks up at me "Were you too drugged or do you remember our talk last night?"

I nod and remember back to it. At lot was said.

-Midnight-

"I don't get how you don't blame me Santana" Fran paces are the foot of my bed "I said all of those things to you! I pushed you!"

"You were angry and protecting you sister" I shrug "I would've done the same if it was flipped"

"No you wouldn't have!" She looks straight at me "You know my problems so you would've taken a better route! I cut you low because I knew it would hurt! I purposely cut you to make you feel as bad as her!"

"I still don't blame you" I pick up the remote and turn on the tv "That's just how it is"

"Liar" I shake my head until the tv is turned off and Fran is looking at me angrily "You're lying!"

"Let's chill out girls" Mom stands up and puts a hand in front of Fran "Why dont you sit back down?"

"NOT UNTIL SHE TELLS THE TRUTH!" Frans anger burns into my eyes "SAY IT!"

"IM FUCKING LIVID OK?!" I feel the tears form and I sigh "I'm not mad at you though...I'm mad...I'm mad that I might of ruined everything..I'm mad that I might of ruined my relationship and I'm mad that I might've reset Rachel"

"Shit" Fran stumbles back and sits in a chair "I forgot about her"

"Our family is the glue keeping her together" I shake my head "I snapped at her"

"Sa~"

"I snapped at her before you snapped at me" I wipe my tears and scoff looking at them "I don't deserve to cry about that"

"You both deserve to have emotions" I look at my mom who has a sad smile on her face "You both love Quinn and Rachel...you both have strong emotions and strings sense of care..it's why you take everything to heart"

"Heart of gold" I smile at Fran who smiles back before frowning "I'm jealous of you"

"Jealous? Why?" Fran looks down at the ground "What's wrong?"

"You have someone who you know will love you forever" She sighs and looks at me "Emma could leave me and I'd never find someone else"

"Someone is out there for you" She goes to speak but I stop her "I know there is...but I think it's Emma"

"You think she'd ever want kids?" I look at her confused "This Quinn thing got me thinking...I'd love to have a child my own sometime in the future"

"I think you'd have an amazing family together" She smiles and I smile back "I just wanna be godmother"

"You'll have to fight Quinn and Rachel" we both laugh "Thank you Santana"

"Thank you for staying" she nods and I yawn "Let's go to sleep"

-Current-

"What's up?" Fran fiddles with her fingers and mom just watches on "Fran?"

"The hospital is doing a thing" She takes a deep breath before going on "It's a suicide prevention thing they wanna try with patients...you have to have two buddies"

"You want to sign up Rachel and I?" She nods and looks up at me "You'd be the third right?"

"I just sent a message to Rachel" We both look at my mom shocked "You three need this and I'm going to get the papers"

We watch my mom leave before looking at each other. We are still laughing when she gets back. She looks at us like we are crazy and we are. There was no reason to laugh but here we are.

It's the first time I've felt better since being here.

-Quinn pov-

"You wanna talk now?" I nod at everyone sitting on the couch in front of me "What was this morning about?"

"I" I look at Rachel "There was a spider above her head!"

"No there wasn't" I look at Brittany "I checked before we unspaced you"

"I was going to ask a question but forgot it" I see everyone look at me disbelievingly "I was lonely?"

"You said you didn't want me to die" I don't make eye contact with Rachel "You're scared I'll do what she did"

"I'm scared you'll kill yourself" I feel the tears forming again "I'm scared Fran, Santana, and you will eventually will"

"Why?" Rachel is now crouching in front of me "Why are you scared?"

"Santana said 'You never fully get out'" Rachel looks at me confused "You'll never fully be away from depression"

"No i won't" I sob louder and Rachel pulls me into her "But I know I'll have you guys to pull me through it"

"We are a family Quinn" I look up at my blurry mom "We are all her for each other"

"I-I know" I sniffle "I'm sorry I'm a mess right now"

"You're fine baby girl" Rachel let's go of me and mom helps me up "Why don't we take you to Santana"

I let her lead me to my shoes and then to the car. She buckled me up and we drive to the hospital. I'm honestly scared to see her. I'm scared to see what could be.

-Time skip-

"Go in" I look at my mom who's behind me "Just go in"

I take a deep breath and open the door. I see a smiling San playing cards with Maribel and Fran. She looks so happy. This isn't the Santana that was here last night. This Santana is healthier.

"Hey" I look at my girlfriend as she waves me over "How are you?"

"I love you" I run over and hug her breaking down again "I love you so much and I can't lose you! I need you Santana Diabla Lopez! Don't ever forget that!"

"I love you" I feel arms wrap around me and wetness start on my shirt "I love you"