Note: Triggers of physical/mental abuse. Sorry, but it ties in with the psychological side of the story and relationship and character's development. -.-

Oh quick question? In the next chapter, I'm thinking of having Gambit and Cody meet and Rogue in the middle. I think it might be a funny chapter - don't know if I can do funny - but what sort of things do you think will be in it? Like Cody's a good boy so I doubt he'll be horrible, and Gambit's a bad boy who might get jealous, but he's closest to Rogue and has her as a sort of, girlfriend. So, what should happen?

Chapter 18

It had gotten colder, so Gambit moved them back over to the blanket and fire. He had to struggle as Rogue wouldn't let go of his waist. He finally had to make her let go though as he went for more fire wood, starting a larger fire than to being with. He then came back to Rogue's side, and she snuggled up to him again. He asked if she wanted to lie back again and watch the stars, and when she said yes, he used his coat as a blanket, wrapping them both up in it, and together, they fell asleep watching the stars.

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The next morning, Gambit was awakened by a little moan. He looked down and saw Rogue was having a nightmare.

"Chére?" He called, but she just grabbed hold of him tighter and her face scrunched up more. Gambit shuck her by the shoulders, calling her name. She hid herself more in his chest, before he gave a final, loud call. Rogue jumped awake, but didn't move away from him. If anything, when she saw him, her panting breath and the fear in her face left her.

"Your... Still here?" She said, her eyes wide and Gambit could see the vulnerability in them.

"Oui, mon cœur. I'm not goin' anywhere." He said, rubbing her arm that was lay on his chest.

Rogue let out a long breath of relief and again buried her head into Gambit's chest. He wrapped his arms around her more and pulled the coat up to cover them. The sun wasn't fully in the sky yet, and it was a bit nippy. The fire had died out in the night, so now it was just the blanket keeping them warm. "Did... Did last night really happen?" Rogue asked.

Gambit looked down at her. Her eyes didn't meet his, but he could see her face and saw the hesitation. She was scared. Scared of what? Gambit thought.

"Oui, chére. It happened. You told me ya forgiven dis here swamp rat, and told him it was time ta go home."

Rogue looked up to him now, wide eyed with a little confusion. "But you're still here."

"Oui, 'cause I told ya I weren't gonna leave ya 'lone with dat person ya call a father. Ya told me, truthfully, dat ya didn't want me ta go, but ya don't want me to know, or rather, get to know ya vile father cause ya don't want anyone ta know ya secret upbringing full of abuse. Ya don't want anyone thinkin' any different of ya. Then I told ya dat I loved you and that I didn't care 'bout ya past. All I care 'bout is you, mon cœre, bein' safe and with me." Gambit rose Rogue's hand that was on his chest to his lips and kissed it.

It took Rogue a moment before it all sunk it. It was so hard to accept it all last night. Soon though, when she'd absorbed the message, she went back to lieing on Gambit's chest with him now rubbing circles into her lower back. While she lay on him, she thought about what he said meant. It brought a tear to her eye as she thought about him loving her. She still didn't understand how a magnificent guy like Gambit could love her. She didn't understand love one bit. But he did. He loved her more than just a friend. And he was willing to put up with her drunk, abusive father just to be with her even though he'd never met the guy. It might all change once he met her father, but till then, she was greatful and so happy that he was here and she wasn't alone anymore.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For bein' here."

"There be no place else I'd rather be... Rogue?"

"Yeah?"

"What was your dream 'bout?"

He felt Rogue stiffen underneath his hands. He thought for a moment he'd asked too much. Gone too far and pushed buttons he shouldn't have. But she answered. Slowly.

"It... when mah powers first manifested and ah absorbed people, a piece of them would stay with meh. There powers or life force would wear off, but their memories stuck. Ah got a little piece of every one of em ah touched and absorbed. Me and the Professah blocked em off in mah head but dats all he could do. But, sometimes, the walls ah put up round them, they weaken and the psyche's memories and thoughts become mine. It usually happens when ah'm sleepin cause ah'm lettin' mah mind rest and all. Ah have nightmares of their past experiences. All of em. Logan's with weapon X, Magneto's in the consecration camps, Scott's nightmares of his parents death, Storm's nightmares of seein' her parents crushed by a bombed buildin'. Ah have all sorts of nightmares. But... In a way... Ah was sorta glad ta have em... They're... Better than mah own memories sometimes."

"What you mean chère?"

"... When... Ah had nightmares a lot when ah lived with mah birth parents... They followed meh to Irene and Mystique. Ah used ta have em all the time... They were horrible... But... When ah started absorbin' others and havin' their nightmares, it took mah mind off maself, and it sort of helped meh forget."

"What nightmares did it help ya forget?"

"... They're not nightmares... They're memories."

"Memories?"

"... Yeah."

"What... Kind of memories?" Gambit asked, wanting to becareful of his wording so he didn't hurt her. He could already see she was zooming out into space even though she was looking at a daisy that grew in the grass. Gambit saw this as a way for her to go numb so she didn't have to think or feel the pain when these nightmares came.

"What happened in them?"

"... All sorts of things."

"... Which one did ya have?"

"Just then?"

"Oui."

"... Mah mama runnin' 'way, leavin' meh ta fend for maself."

Gambit bit his tonge. He felt disgusted at what he just heard. He'd thought Rogue's mother had died when she was young or something. Rogue hadn't mentioned her birth mother ever since he'd known her. So after biting his tongue instead of shooting off and saying how disgusting it was for a mother to abandon her child to a monster, he rephrased what he was going to say so it was kinder and got more information.

"When did she leave?"

Rogue got the idea of what Gambit was doing. He was digging for information. Rogue closed her eyes as if she was drifting off into slumber. She breathed in deep and let it go. She figured she'd just tell him all there was to know about her mother and be done with it.

"Mah mama ran away when ah was five. It hurt cause she'd used to say she loved meh... Ah remember that me and mama were kinda happy on our own when ah was growin up. She and papa were both young and both of em eloped, but they weren't married. Mama had meh when she was still a teenager herself. There were times when she'd play with meh and be happy with papa, but then papa started workin' later for tha money... Mama didn't wanna spend time with meh anymore... She started yellin' at meh more, and sendin' meh ta ma room more... Then she started goin out and leavin' meh at home. Started doin' it a lot and ah didn't like it... So ah told papa, since mama yelled at meh whenever ah mentioned it and told meh ta shut up 'bout it... Ah shunt have told papa..."

Gambit was hating this more and more. Listening to Rogue slowly tell her background story of pain and abandonment was heart breaking. And what's worse was the damage had already been done years ago and there was nothing he could do about it to spare his poor Roguie.

"What did he do?" Gambit asked, holding back his anger and tongue.

"He started comin' home early... One night, he came home in a real bad mood. Yelled at meh and sent meh cryin' ta ma room, scared. He was throwin' things around and stuff. When he stopped, he sat down and waited for mama ta come home... When she came home he started yellin' at her. Ah can't remember what for, but... Ah think... The reason she had been disappearin' was cause she was cheatin' on him. Papa was angry at her and they were both yellin... Then papa lost his temper... He hit her cross the face... Broke her nose... He slept on the sofa and mama went ta her room... When ah woke up the next mornin' papa was gone and mama was in her bathroom cleanin' her face. Ah tried askin' 'bout it, but she yelled at meh, blamed meh for what happened... And slapped meh cross the face. Gave meh a good hidin' too, 'fore sendin' meh ta mah room... She went out 'gain that day, leavin' meh in ma room. When she came home and ah asked for food, cause ah hadn't eaten all day and didn't know how ta cook, she yelled at meh and sent meh to ma room without food... She looked upset... Then papa came home... And he was drunk... He beat her up 'gain when he found out who she was with... He'd been followin' her in tha car he used ta have... Mama had two black eyes, a broken nose, busted lip and ah didn't see the marks on her body... The next day when papa sobered up, he went out and got some locks. He put a lock on the front and back doors and windows... Things just seemed ta get worse from there... Mama didn't stop sneakin' out and managed ta break a lock on a window and get out, leavin' meh alone in the house. Threatin' meh not ta tell anyone bout her sneakin off, 'specially not papa. Sometimes she'd set some food out for meh ta warm up, but sometimes she didn't... When papa found out she was gettin' out through the windows one night afta he got back from work, he bored em up. It's why they're all bored up now... Mama got beaten again... And the next day, she took her anger out on meh and took a lock that had been on tha windows and locked meh in ma room...Ah coulda been locked in there for days for all ah know, but ah couldn't tell time... Then ah remember ma mama came in this one time with a small smile on her face and a tray of food for meh. We sat down on the floor. Ah sat in her lap with ma mama playin' with ma hair and tellin' mah how Sorrah she was while ah ate the soup she'd made meh... She told meh she loved meh... We played in ma room for a little while, and went downstairs. Mama stayed home with meh the rest of that week, neva once leavin' the house... She seemed upset... Ah think she'd broken up with tha man she was seein'...but, at weekend, papa was still paranoid and came home drunk, beatin' mama... Ah tried... Ah tried ta get him ta stop, but ah couldn't help mama... Ah just got locked in ma room 'gain. Thiat time, with a broken arm... What was worse though, was hearin' mama's screams and cries...and ah couldn't do anythin' ta help."

A tear slipped from Rogue's eye and Gambit caught it. He wished he never asked now. This story was even making him want to tear up.

"It was like that for a while. Me and ma mama were locked in the house all tha time, and couldn't go out ta school, or the doctors... Papa kept drinkin at weekends,and beatin us... mama used ta get tha worst of it though... And ah think she blamed meh for it... Ah think it was all mah fault."

"It wasn't your fault Rogue. You were five years old."

"Four."

"Four years old? How could you tell what was happening? You were just a kid. You didn't know any better. If anythin', dey bought it on demselfves. Ya mother for cheatin', ya papa for bein paranoid and beatin yas. Neighter shoulda treated ya or each other the way they did. They were older than ya Rogue. They shoulda known betta. It weren't your fault. Don't even think like dat. I mean it. It wasn't ya fault."

Gambit lifted Rogue's chin so she looked into his eyes as he said that. He really wanted her to know that he meant it. Rogue felt touched, although she didn't believe it. She felt she still had a part in all that happened even if it was her mother and father's fault. She should have just kept her mouth shut. Rogue cried into Gambit's chest again and enjoyed him rubbing and smoothing away the pain. She continued.

"Ma dream... It was of when ma mama actually left meh... Ma mama stayed with meh for a while, takin' the beatins. Sumtimes, she would take her anger out on meh, but otha times she'd be Sorrah and try ta apologise and make up for it by tellin' meh she loved meh really... One night though, when papa went out,mama came ta ma room, tucked meh in bed and kissed ma head... Her last words to meh after she tucked meh in, turned off ma light and locked meh in ma room was I love you... A moment later, ah heard wood bein' smashed... Ah couldn't get outta ma room cause she locked meh in, so ah went ta mah window... Through a gap in the wood, ah saw ma mother break down the wood in the front window... Then she ran off, away from the house inta the forest with a duffle bag and all her stuff in it. Ah yelled and ah screamed till ah was blue in the face... Ah didnt want her ta leave meh... Didn't want her ta go... Ah wanted to go with her." Rogue snuffled and cried again. "But she didn't... She didn't-"

Rogue couldn't make her sentences right after that, so Gambit decided he'd heard enough. He wrapped her up more in his arms and started rocking her, saying, "there there now Roguie. Remy's gotcha. And I ain't lettin' ya go."

"T-that's what mah mama told meh," Rogue muttered.

"I aint her chère. I ain't gonna abandon ya and I ain't gonna beat ya. Ya safe now. I'm gonna keep ya safe. Shhhh. Shhhh. It's ok. It's alright now, I'm here." His words soon turned into a French lullaby and Rogue fell asleep for a few minutes. A few minutes long enough for Gambit to come up with an idea on how to distract her and calm himself down in the process.

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When Rogue woke up she felt exhausted. She felt for Gambit and hung onto him tight. She scrunched his shirt up in her hands and breathed in his scent of spices and swamps. She liked this feelings of waking up to a warm body. A body that loved her. No matter what her past. She hung onto him closer as she remembered opening up to him about her past. She was sure he'd leave her. So she clung to him with dear life, not wanting him to leave now that she'd opened up to some one. She kept her eyes closed for a moment even though she could feel him there, she had a fear that if she opened her eyes he might not be there. So slowly, after she gained the confidence to open her eyes, she opened them and looked straight into his warm eyes.

"Bonjour mon Chèrie. How you feelin'?"

"Good. You alright?"

"Oui. Always if your wit' me." This made Rogue smile as Gambit pulled her closer and she wrapped her arms around him tighter. For a moment, they just cuddled, then Gambit said, "Dis been nice and all, stayin in dis romantic hid out of yours. But it probably best to be headin' back."

Rogue looked up to his eyes wide with panic."Your... Leavin?"

Gambit looked down confused at her.

"Huh? Non, no. What I was goin' to say was, it been nice stayin here, sleepin' in dis beautiful place with you, but I think we best be gettin back. Get some food. Sumthin' ta eat. Den, I got a little idea how ta make ya smile, but we'll leave dat till later on, non?"

Rogue raised an eyebrow at him. She let the last thing he said and the ideas that came to mind go as she smiled and hugged him close. So, they got up and sent off back through the woods to the house. They hesitated for a moment before Rogue unlocked the door. When they entered, they found the house in a bigger rut than what they'd walked into the first time (minus the beer cans). Rogue's father had gone on a rampage. Gambit stayed close behind Rogue, wrapping his arm around her waist as she refused to get behind him. They found Rogue's father crashed out on the floor. Rogue moved out from Gambit's grasp to kneel besides her father. She checked to see if he was still breathing. Which he was.

"Papa... he's gotta go back ta bed." Rogue said wrapping her arms around him. Her father was thin, but with a large beer belly.

Gambit wanted to just leave the scum to rot, but he saw the worry in Rogue's eyes. That kindess was a part of why he liked her. When she looked back at him though, he didn't much like the look that was in her eyes. She looked like a child seeing her parent in pain. She was still that abused vulnerable child. Seeing that vulnerability he didn't want anything hurting his Rogue. He could see she already had him up off the ground, but he wouldn't find his feet. He was knocked out completely. Gambit came to Rogue's aid, helping her lift him up and take him upstairs. They put him in bed, his room just as messy as the rest of the house. Rogue seemed to want to get out of there as fast as she could and Gambit wasn't going to stop her. He hurried out with her, closing the door behind him.

He turned to find Rogue frozen like ice on the stairs. But as soon as he touched her, trying to comfort her, the ice broke and melted as if a warm but not painful firey hand touched her. She looked to him and gave a little smile then went downstairs.

"Well that didn't go well. Ah, erm, sorta planned ta, errr." Rogue said looking at Gambit and seeing he wasn't following."Ah asked ya ta put the locks on so he couldn't get out and get drunk. Ah left him with food already cooked then... Took ya out for the evenin' cause ah knew that's when he'd be up."

"You mean you, a, took moi out cause ya didn't want me ta meet ya father and b, cause ya were gonna tell moi ta leave so I neva would know your father? Oh Rogue. Things dunt work like dat." Gambit said cupping her face. "But don't worry. I'm here, and I'm gonna help."

Rogue's eyes widened. "Ya ain't gonna hurt him are ya? Or take him to tha police?"

"I ain't promisin' anythin'. If he even looks at ya wrong I'm liable ta strike him for hurtin' ya, but... I'll try not to. For you mon cœur."

Rogue gave him a smile, then looked around them. "Guess this place needs tidyin' again."

"Maybe later. Right now, weve got otha plans."

" We do?" Rogue said unsure what he meant and unsure about that cheeky grin and those sparkling eyes. But she couldn't help smile back at him. He was so cute sometimes when he smiled cheekily like that.

"Oui, we do."