Chapter 23
When Gambit had set off the sun had just risen. Now it was setting and he pleaded to God that there was still time. That he could still save Rogue's life. There wasn't that much further to go with his wild driving, but still it could mean a difference. He pressed on the gas. Faster. Faster. Faster.
XXXXX
Rogue had a visitor just after lunch. And she was shocked at who that visitor was.
"Logan?" Rogue asked, her eyes widening and jaw dropping.
"Rogue, you alright?" Logan said hurrying to the prisoner's door and grasping hold of the metal poles. Rogue stood up off the bed and came towards him.
"Yeah ah'm finah. What are ya doin' here? Ah thought-"
"Damn Cajun. I'm gonna kill em. When I get my hands on him-" Logan interrupted Rogue in his rage. The bars under his hands started to break and bend under his tightening grip. Guns were pulled out and aimed at his head.
"Logan." Rogue said slipping her hand in-between the bars and touching Logan's hand. "Ah'll be alright." She told him.
"No touching!" Ordered one of the guards.
Slowly, Rogue moved her hand away, but kept close.
"I knew I should have stopped you. I'm so sorry Rogue. I wasn't there for you. That damn Cajun. I swear he's gonna pay."
"Logan it wasn't his fault. Ah put meh in here. Ah did the crime, now ah'm doin the time."
"Only it ain't time is it Rogue? I've been round these crazy guilds before. I know how they operate. I should have dragged you out while I had the chance. I was gonna. I was gonna go back to the church, but I saw how happy you looked. How determined you were. How beautiful you were... I guess I just couldn't stomach it that my girl was leavin me ta marry a lowlife. And without even inviting me to the wedding."
"Ah's sorrah Logan. Ah asked Remy 'bout it and he said best keep it quiet so no one stops it. And ya were gonna stop it so he was right. Plus do ya really think the othas woulda been kinda ta meh? Kind ta who ah was marryin'? It was supposed ta be a nice day. Guess that didn't go ta plan either. But, ah might not have know it then, but ah definitely know it now. Ah love him. Ah love him Logan with all mah heart and ah'm willin' ta die for em."
"But ya ain't diein' for him. Ya diein' for a woman ya neva even met before. The other girl to Remy LeBeau."
"Ah know. Ah know. But ah can't just let her die. If there's one things bein' an X-Men has taught meh then it's how ta do the right thing. Ah'm doin' tha right thing here Logan and ya know ah am."
"I know ya are stripes. But that dun't make what they're planin' to do right. You're not even part of their guild or connected to their laws."
"Ah know, but their ain't much ah can do. Or you." Rogue kept a strong eye on Logan, looking for any emotion or hint, and there she saw it. That little glint in his eye told her that the X-Men were coming and planning a rescue mission. But he couldn't say that because of the assassins and thieves. "Or the X-Men." Rogue said. She didn't know what she was doing or why, but she just didn't want the X-Men to save her on this. She didn't want to face the others. Not about school, or Remy or her powers or anything else. She just wanted to get this over with, hear her sentence and die. Die thinking of Remy. The Remy that's been haunting her mind ever since she left Mississippi."Logan ah don't want a bust out or a way out." The thieves and assassins eyed them as she said this. "Ah just wanna have mah fate decided and mah punishment given." Rogue stepped back from the jail door to sit down. "Sides, least y'all won't have ta worry 'bout meh anymore. One less powerful mutant ta fear."
"Rogue don't say that."
"Why? It's true."
"You don't know who mad things have been getting back at the institute. When we found out ya ran away everyone started looking for you. Not because Charles asked, but because they were worried about you. Kurt and Kitty didn't come home the same day you ran away from school. Instead, as soon as they heard about the commotion they started searching for you. Jean came back from university to help look for you and Scott set up search parties. He sent them to different states just to try find you or a hint of ya. Charles searched for ya usin' cerebro, and even he couldn't find ya's. You two have'nt been using your powers. And me, I tracked ya from the train station, not turning back for anything. As soon as I heard you'd took off, I sniffed ya out and sent off for New Orleans. So don't act like we don't care Rogue. Cause we do."
"Ah neva said ya did."
"But you were thinkin it."
"Yeah ah was for a time. Ah was thinkin that y'all only wanted meh for ma powers. Ah mean ah am pretty strong ya know. But then ah just thought bout how ah'm always sitting on the side lines of a fight, waitin for someone ta need meh like a back up. Like ah'm ya secret weapon. Then ah think bout the damage ah've dune ta the X-Men in tha past and think that you guys would benefit from havin meh on your side rather then against ya. So ah thought that was a reason ya put up with meh. Not only cause of the powers ah had, but ta make sure no one else got meh. Ah mean, that's why tha Professor kept his eyes on me till mah powers evolved right? He knew ah was gonna be a powerful mutant, and he wanted in on meh for anyone else. It's why y'all discovered meh so fast. Cause he was waitin for my powers. He and y'all wanted meh for ma powers. Ah mean, I know it ain't for mah personality. Who'd want an angry goth kid stormin round with a temper makin things depressin? But ah thought ah could forget all that. Look past it. Ah thought ah could be noticed for sumthin else. Make sumthin else of maself so people just didn't want meh for mah powers. It's why school was so important to meh. It might not have seemed it but it was. Same reasons engines are important ta meh. It was sumthin ah could learn ta do. Sumthin useful ta people. Somethin ah had control over. Ah was thinkin bout goin college too ya know. Ah might act like ah hate school, which ah do, but there's a reason for it. Ah gotta up hold this image of an unfriendly goth ta keep people away from meh. Keep em away so they don't touch mah skin. So they don't get close ta meh. So no one gets hurt." Rogue said." When ah got kicked outta school, Remy was just there. Wantin meh before ah even got kicked out of school. Wantin meh for me. Not for ma powers. Well not really. Ma powered helped the situation, but ah just know now and ah think ah knew then, that we had sumthin. Sumthin connected us tha last time he kidnapped meh, and we just... Connected. It was a nice feelin Logan. Ta have someone like Remy want meh. Like meh. Love meh. He said he loves meh Logan. And ah love him don't think ah could love anyone else more than ah do em."
"I'm sorry ya felt that way kid." Logan said, putting a hand to the back of his neck to massage it and destress him. "You... Even felt like I only wanted you for your powers? Kurt and Kitty too?"
"Not you Logan. Or Kitty or Kurt. But ah saw it. Ah saw y'all fading way from meh. Ahd stopped talkin ta everyone pretty much. They didn't wanna know meh, and neither did you."
"I do want to know you Rogue. It's just... Hard."
"Ah get it Logan. Ya don't like expressin ya emotions. Ah get it."
"It's not just that... Rogue, I'm gonna out live all of you. While you turn old and wrinkly, I'm still going to be the same as you see me now. And it kills me to have to watch the people I love most die. So the best thing I can do about it is just to keep away. Stay detached. That's one of the only reasons why I don't take you out every weekend and laugh it up with you all like a father would with his daughter... I don't want to lose you. Especially not like this. Rogue please." Logan said, and Rogue finished that sentence in her head. "We can help you out."
Rogue sat down on the bed and gave a little smile.
"Ya... Ya really wanted ta be a father ta meh?"
Logan nodded his head which made Rogue smile more.
"Ah woulda liked that Logan. Ah always considered ya a father anyway. The father ah neva had." A tear slipped down her face again. Rogue wondered if she'd ever cried as much as this in her whole life.
Logan looked close to tears too.
"I'm sorry Rogue, sorry for not bein as good as father as you wanted. Needed... The past week after the wedding I went back to the mansion and talked to Charles... He's the one who made me see that... I was having separation issues... Rogue I didn't wanna let you go. I could see you were happy and all, but some how I felt like I was losing you. Charles saw this in me and pointed it out... The reason I was so mad. The reason I said all those things on your wedding day was because I was angry at ya for runnin away thinkin ya couldn't talk ta us and it made me feel like I was losin ya ta Gambit. You were moving on and happy. I wondered if you'd been secretly seeing him behind the ourbacks and had fallen for him andI wasn't ready to lose you. To give you up. I'm still not...After Charles talked some sense into me though, I came straight back here. Found you and Gambit gone. Discovered that the thieves had been stolen from which I did think was a little odd and a bit of a coincidence that you and Gambit just suddenly got up and left. Then I found out about him leavin you at the alter and I'm still confused with what the hells goin on between you two. But I'm lettin ya know Rogue." Logan's claws slipped out." I'm gonna gut him and put him in hospital for hurtin ya like that."
"Logan-"
"Don't worry, I won't kill him. Just make him sorry. As sorry as I am for not bein there like ya wanted. For takin off like that... Rogue I'm so sorry. I let you down, again. No wonder you left. Look at ya. Look at where you are. If I'd just been better, been there more, I coulda stopped this... I could have stopped ya from diein. But I didnt!" Logan raged, punching his claws into the wall beside Rogue's cell. The assassins and thieves who were wary and jumpy as soon as they saw Logan's claws come out were now all stood with their guns raised and aiming at Logan's head.
Rogue stayed still as she watched Logan pant in pain. She knew punching a wall was painful, but she knew he wasn't in pain from that. He was in pain from something else.
"Logan, your the best father ah could ever have. Ah wouldn't have changed ya for anyone. Wouldn't change a thing that's happened. Ah love ya Logan... Ah Love ya papa."
Logan raised his head, meeting her eyes. He was saddened, but touched as one little tear fell from Logans eye.
"I love ya too stripes... I just wish this wasn't happening."
"Ah know..." Rogue said, finding her feet and coming back over to Logan who took his claws out of the wall. "Logan, ah'm gonna be trailed, and most likely sentenced ta death. Ah'll understand if ya don't wanna be there, or if the othas don't wanna be there... But if ya can, ah'd like for ma body ta be buried back in Bayville. Maybe y'all can have a proper ceremony for meh there if it ain't too much trouble." Rogue said, her speech jerking as she spoke about what she wanted to happen afterwards. She would have thought she'd either die unexpectedly and not have to face this, or face it when she was old and grey. But never as a teenager. When she found the courage to speak again she said. "Ah,erm, ah'm not sure whatelse there is ta say or do... Guess ta let the other X-Men know ah really appreciate all they did for meh-"
"No Rogue! Don't say your last wishes now. Your gonna be fine. Your gonna get out of this."
"But ah ain't Logan, and ya know that. And ah don't wanna get outta it. Ah don't want ya ta fight for meh Logan. Ah don't want your or tha X-Mens or anyone's help in gettin outta this. This is mah choice. Ah chose ta do this and ah chose ta be here. Please accept that." Logan wasn't happy about it but he backed down. What more could he do. Rogue took this as a sign to continue. "Ya will tell em all that ah really did appreciative them bringin meh in and tryin ta help meh control ma powers. For tryin ta be mah friend. Tryin ta be mah family. Ah know it dunt seem it what with meh takin off and all, but ah still really do care bout ya's, and if ah had ta die for yous then ah would. Y'all are really important people ta meh, who ah love... Y'all take care of each other wont ya?" Logan nodded his head unable to speak. Rogue gave a small yet sad smile to lighten things. "And y'all be there for Remy if he needs ya?" Logan seemed to really think about this. At first snorting with dissatisfaction, then he came around and nodded his head, which made Rogue's smile grow. "Thanks Logan. That's all ah want. For y'all ta be safe and happy and taken care of... Ah'm gonna miss y'all."
Logan couldnt bring himself to say anything and neither could he move his gaze from Rogue's. They stood there for a moment just looking deep into each other's eyes. Into one another's souls. Till one assassin came and forced Logan to leave. Tears escaped both Rogue's and Logan's eyes again as they parted ways.
