Inspiration: Church Gone Wrong (Neebs Gaming Animated)


The scene begins with a tombstone with the name blown from it. The scene panned towards a church with an organ playing in the background.

"The hell...is that a church?" Qrow asked.

"Yup, there's music playing in it." Summer deadpanned.

"And, of course, the place looks dead," Yang groaned.

"You're not wrong, considering that this world is a Zombie Apocalypse." the Entity said.

"WHAT?!" Most of the audience yelled out as they had to sit through another apocalypse-ridden world.

"Come on! You gotta be kidding, right?!" Sun yelled.

"I thought the last world was horrible, well, in terms of conflict and such. But a zombie apocalypse? Damn, that is a whole new load of crap." Sage said, crossing his arms.

"Agreed," Scarlet said.

"I doubt a zombie apocalypse is as bad as raining hell from literal space," Jaune noted.

"Um, dude, have you seen any zombie movies in your life?" Coco asked.

"Uh, yeah." Jaune retorted. "Unlike Satellites that could launch metal rods of death to any unsuspecting victim, you could survive in a zombie apocalypse if you know what you're doing. Plus, there's always a chance for somebody to find the cure."

"He does have a point," Blake commented towards her team, who all nodded in agreement.

"Either way, both situations are equally as bad as any other world-ending scenarios," Pietro commented. "Isn't that right, Penny?"

"Absolutely!" Penny agreed before settling back to her seat.

"I would've said an Asteroid, but I doubt there's anything near enough that could wipe out Remnant in a single blow," Ghira said.

"True," Kali agreed.

"Wait, isn't the moon near the planet?" Ann asked.

"That...honestly sounds concerning," Li said.

"Not as horrible as earthquakes," Amber added.

"Ugh, can we all discuss this topic for later? I wanna see what will happen in this." Ilia said as she gestures towards the screen.

Within it were five people. One wore a long black robe and stood behind a Lectern. The other was on the organ playing music. The last three were all seated and waited for the priest to start.

Lionheart's face contorted into confusion.

"What on Remnant am I wearing?" he asked.

"You look like a priest, and not even a good one at that," Mercury commented.

"Hey, at least it's better than Farmer over there." Emerald pointed out.

"...Jeez, I look like a moron," Tyrian commented on his counterpart.

Somewhere in the crowd, Roman looked abhorred as Junior laughed at the other Roman playing on an Organ of all instruments.

"The hell are you laughing at?!" Roman glared towards Junior.

"Oh Gods, I can't imagine you going to church, and just be like "Praise the Brother Gods."" Junior tried stifling his laughter while trying to explain to Roman. "Aleluia and all that."

Roman could only groan in annoyance as his old friend continued to roar in laughter at his counterpart. He leaned slightly to see the Malachite Twins giggling at the thought before looking away, just as he looked at them. He sighed before leaning back to his chair.

"At least I still have you, Neo." Roman smiled, only for it to wipe off his face when he saw Neo trying her best not to burst into laughter.

"Not you too." Roman bemoaned, cupping his face with his own hands.

Meanwhile, the Beacon students were all looking at the odd group on screen.

"Okay, so we got Lionheart as a priest." Ruby started.

"Who looked like he needed a new haircut and a change of clothes," Coco commented as she was jabbed at the side by Velvet, who was glaring daggers at her. "What? I was stating the obvious!"

"And we got Roman Torchwick as the organist, or was it, pianist?" Yang cupped her chin.

"Organist," Weiss and Oscar/Ozma corrected.

"Organist," Yang repeated. "And then there's Professor Port, Uncle Qrow, and Scorpion Maniac." she listed off.

"I have a name, you know!" Tyrian interjected.

"Do I look like I care?" Yang retorted before settling back to watch.

"Nice," Nora commented as Yang gave her a low-five.

"Why does Qrow have that hat?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know. But it sure seems it saw better days." Coco said.

"In the world we once knew, about Fifty-six million five hundred and ninety-seven thousand thirty-four people died every year," Lionheart said.

That caused the audience to stare at the screen with wide eyes.

"Okay, that's a lot!" Sun said.

"Monty Oum, why can't we get something that isn't about death or destruction." Summer muttered.

Qrow pulled out his flask and began downing himself with the contents in it.

Lionheart pulled out a calculator and typed in some numbers.

"Which works out to approximately a hundred and fifty-five thousand people a day," he said as he shows the calculator to the audience.

"Yeah, Amen!" Qrow cheered as he fired his shotgun up towards the ceiling.

Qrow nearly choked when his counterpart fired off a shotgun out of nowhere.

"The fuck?!" Qrow coughed out.

"Swear," Ruby muttered as she looked at her Uncle.

"Why do you have a shotgun, let alone a weapon, in a church?!" Winter appalled as she gestured towards the screen.

"How should I know?! It's not like I fuckin' know my other self!" Qrow defended himself.

"Is it me or...is this version of Qrow looked more deranged?" Tai asked.

"I don't know, Tai. I'm starting to like this version of him." Raven commented.

"Of course you do." Qrow groaned.

"Woah," Roman jumped from his seat.

"Oh, easy now." Port raised both of his hands towards Qrow.

"Which would-"

"Yeah, preacher, tell it!" Qrow yelled, interrupting Lionheart.

"-Which was Six thousand four hundred fifty-eight people an hour, and one hundred and eight people every minute."

"Hell yeah!" Qrow cheered.

"Which me-"

"Amen!" Qrow fired another round up the ceiling, interrupting Lionheart once again.

"Hey! Woah, woah!" Roman cried out.

"-Which me-"

"I'm having a hard keeping up with the numbers. Can we just..." Tyrian paused in sentence.

"Yeah," Port and Roman agreed.

"Math is..." Port paused.

"Just get the-uh-the gi-the gist of it." Tyrian stuttered slightly.

"Statistics cross?" Roman questioned.

"The Brother Gods are not into math." Port crossed his arms.

Ozma, who took Oscar's body at the moment, chuckled.

"I can't even imagine them enjoying it either," Ozma said.

'Yeah,' Oscar agreed.

"This s starting to drag a little. Where's the fun stuff?" Vernal asked.

"Shut the fuck up!" Lionheart chuckled slightly.

"Okay," Roman said.

"Easy, come on now," Port said.

"Shut up!" Lionheart yelled.

"This is the place of the Lords!" Roman pointed out.

"This all means-this all means-shut-who's on the-" Lionheart kept being interrupted by the group, which annoyed him a lot.

"I could already tell that this is going to turn into a shit show." Qrow chuckled.

"No shit, Qrow," Yang said.

Her unintentional pun resulted in her friends and family, and a few others, groaning in annoyance.

"Come on! I didn't even mean it!" Yang complained.

"Sure you do," Ruby said.

"-so do me a favor!" Port said.

"Hey!" Roman yelled.

"Alright, hey, let preacher talk!" Qrow yelled

"Let-"

"Hey, let preacher talk! It's time! It's time for preaching!" Qrow said, interrupting Tyrian.

"Right," Port said.

"That, he-"

"Let's try and shoo-"

"-SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Lionheart cried out.

"Are easy with the mouth!" Port pointed out.

"Port, let him talk," Tyrian said as he glared at Port.

"Let him talk. Everybody shut, let him talk." Qrow said.

"I'm fine," Port defended.

"Hehe, getting scolded by Tyrian of all people is not what I was expecting." Mercury chuckled.

"Indeed," Cinder said. "But I do hope things speed up a bit."

"That all meant that every second, two people would die, and for every breath you took-"

"By the Gods, he's still continuing?!" Watts complained.

"If only I had my way, I would've gotten there and burnt his tongue off." Cinder seethed as Lionheart slowly inched away from Salem's group.

"Yeah! Even their Port is getting annoyed!" Yang pointed out. "And that's a feat!"

"Excuse me?!" cried out Port.

"No offense, Peter. But you do drag on with your stories a little too much." Tai said.

"Preposterous." Port scoffed.

Port started groaning as Lionheart went on and on. Eventually, Tyrian had enough.

"See with the numbers I can't-"

"Stop with the numbers. Stop with the numbers!" Port interrupted.

"Amen!" Qrow yelled before firing another shotgun round.

"NO SHOOTING IN CHURCH!" Port yelled towards Qrow, who was loading his shotgun with more ammo.

"That's a rule, that's always a rule, Qrow." Tyrian reminded.

"...What?" Tyrian raised an eyebrow.

"It seems that this version of yourself is more akin to the law." Cinder said.

"For fuck sake." Tyrian groaned.

"Monty Oum." Ironwood groaned as he watched Qrow's counterpart casually firing inside of what is supposedly a sacred place.

"I don't know what my other self is on, but I would NEVER try shooting inside of a damn church! Even if it's abandoned!" Qrow yelled out.

"What if you need to fight in one?" Raven asked.

"If it means killing Grimm, fine," Qrow said.

"No, I mean-"

"No...shooting in church," Port said.

"Yeah, don't-"

"W-we could make our own rules!" Qrow proclaimed as he interrupted Lionheart.

"-Don't do it," Lionheart said.

"Society's broken down! We're re-establishing things!" Qrow yelled as he raised his shotgun in the air.

"That was a good rule, though! This one should carry over!" Tyrian reasoned.

"Yeah!" Port agreed.

"I don't even want to imagine Qrow leading some sort of society. What hellish place it would be." Ironwood said.

"Okay, fuck you. I could be decent at leading people. It's just my damned semblance fucks it all up." Qrow said.

"That doesn't excuse for having poor leadership skills. Remember the incident?" Summer asked, making Qrow shuddered at the mention of it.

"Y-yeah, good point," Qrow said.

"What was the incident?" Yang perked up and pried for answers.

"When you're older, sweetheart. You'll know." Summer giggled, leaving Qrow mortified at the mention.

"I could've sworn that Tyrian wouldn't even hesitate to shoot down on a church." Watts humored.

"If it's for my lady's request, I wouldn't even flinch." Tyrian cackled.

"I know! I don't like that rule!" Qrow exclaimed.

"Hey, Qrow?" Lionheart called.

"What?" Qrow asked.

"In the name of the Lords, shut the fuck up!" Lionheart proceeded to do the sign of the cross before ending it by flipping Qrow off.

"Easy..." Port said.

Most of the teens laughed at Lionheart's response while some of the adults chuckled at it.

"Hahaha, that reminds me of a time during my travels," Amber said as she wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"What do you mean by that, Amber?" Glynda asked.

"Well, there was this village that had these lovely people. They let me stayed in one of their inns for a while. One time, I stumbled upon a building, which later I found out was a church. Long story short, some drunken man came inside and started rambling nonsense and even insulted the priest several times," Amber giggled. "To the point where the priest actually yelled at him and kicked him out of the church!" Amber laughed.

"Even priests have limits." Jaune chuckled.

"No kidding," Ren responded.

"Amen!" Qrow yelled before shooting at Lionheart.

Most of the group chuckled when Lionheart came out from cover as his hair was messed up from the blast. He glared at Qrow as he started wheezing a little.

The audience soon joined in on the laughter. With some even clutching their armrests for support.

"Damn, I miss," Qrow said but laughed nonetheless.

"Welp, so much for a haircut," Coco retorted with a giggle.

"Ah man, that hilarious," Tyrian said.

"Can't say I disagree with you, man." Mercury wiped a tear from his eye.

Salem's group was amused by the scene. Even Lionheart chuckled, if only it weren't revolving around him nearly shot.

"Alright, preacher. Hurry the fuck up. I'm ready to go eat." Qrow said.

"Can I finish this? I know." Lionheart combed his hair and cleared his throat before continuing.

"But...in this last year, everybody died except us," Lionheart said.

The remaining laughter soon died down at the mention of the death toll.

"Are they serious?" Yang asked.

"Not quite. There are remaining survivors out in the wilderness. But it is difficult to find them, especially in a horde-infested zone." the Entity said.

"Alright, it's lunchtime, preacher." Qrow fired another round to the ceiling. "Hurry the fuck up."

"Death is everywhere-"

"Amen!" Qrow shot another round.

"-And it happens to everyone."

"AMEN!" Qrow shot another round. "AMEN, PREACHER!"

"Okay, now I'm concerned for my other self," Qrow pointed out.

"Just now? I was already concerned in the beginning." Tai said.

"I guess the apocalypse got in your head-er-this version's head." Summer sighed.

"No, no. It's just how he is," the Entity replied.

"Oh..." was all that Summer could say.

"Happy to know," Raven said.

"But none of this changes the fact that Roman will ransack any place that you have not been," Lionheart said.

"Praise the Brother Gods. I gotta eat Barbeque!" Qrow yelled.

"And you will get there and-"

"It's barbeque time!" Qrow interrupted with another shot.

"Uuuuhhhh..." Lionheart didn't have anything else to say.

"Amen!" Another shot rang out. "Amen, it's barbeque time! I'm fuckin' hungry!"

"The other church has probably led out already!" Tyrian said.

"Amen!" Qrow fired another.

"And there's not gonna be any Barbeque left!" Tyrian yelled.

"I could see Tyrian actually being concerned for food rather than the people," Watts said.

"You're not wrong," Tyrian replied as he ate from a bucket of chicken.

"Where did you get that?" Watts asked.

"I thought of it," Tyrian replied.

"Y-you...what..." Watts felt startled but was out of his stupor from a grunt beside him.

"Please be quiet," Hazel said.

"Since when are you invested in this?"

"Since we don't have anything else to do other than to watch," Hazel replied before resuming to watch.

"Everybody shut the fuck up..." Lionheart defeatedly said.

"E-I-E-I-O~" Tyrian sang out.

The laughter, once again, came back, and everyone was enjoying it.

"Okay, okay. That just takes the cake," Pyrrha said.

"Ugh, my stomach. It hurts," Roman chuckled as he and Neo relaxed from their fit of laughter.

"The fact that Branwen over there kept firing round after round, it just made it all the better," Junior said.

"Agreed," the Malachite Twins replied.

"Amen," Lionheart said.

"Amen!" Qrow cheered as he shot one last round.

"Amen!" Tyrian yelled out before the screen cut to black.

"What do you all think?" the Entity asked.

"A good change of scenery," Summer said. "Although, I don't agree with some of the people's actions," she said as she eyed Qrow.

"Come on, that's not even me." Qrow crossed his arms.

"Are we gonna see them again?' Nora asked.

"In future viewings, yes." the Entity confirmed. "For now, a little Intermission should suffice. All of you can explore outside of the theatre room. I'll be gathering more guests for the time being."

"Who'll be the next guests?" Maria asked.

"You'll know soon enough. Now, carry along. I have things to do right now."

With that, the audience got off their seats and reached towards a now-formed door. All that's left was the Entity themselves. They hummed before the theatre screen shows various pictures of people.

"Let's see, hmm." the Entity hummed as they scoured through several pictures of people that were already in their domain. The Entity stopped scrolling as they spotted several unlisted individuals.

"Perfect," the Entity said as they selected the remaining individuals to their domain.


(A/N: Hello everyone, just a quick reminder. I've been struggling a bit in terms of writing these kinds of stories. So I decided to have some of you be my Beta-readers and give me tips for making the writing better. If anyone wants to volunteer, be my guest. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed it. V 0-1, out.)