Emily fiddled with her fingers, her eyes obviously lost in a memory. Glossy and cold as she stared at her desk, Reid could only imagine what she was seeing. He remembers his flashbacks after Tobias. He had barely been physically tortured, she was beaten mercilessly. He knew that she must have been back in that room. He softly placed a hand on her shoulder, "Em" he says meekly. She nearly jumps out of her skin at the contact which scares Reid and alerts Hotch and Morgan who are talking at Morgan's desk. "I, I'm sorry. You just startled me." She says kindly to Reid, trying to assuage the guilt she knows he feels. "I'm sorry Emily, I just wanted to check in." he says before quickly shuffling back to his desk. All eyes are on her now and she knows it. She tries to control her breathing and demeanor and focus on the files in front of her but all she can hear is the pounding of her heart in her ears. Her breathing becomes faster and more irregular, her hands shake violently. She knows this is a panic attack but she cant see or focus on anything enough to ground herself. She stumbles as she stands, steadying herself before hurrying into the bathroom to escape their worrying eyes.

The team watches her go worriedly. They all saw the clearly unraveling panic attack before them and their hearts ached for their friend. JJ assures them she will go and check on Emily and follows to the bathroom. Two light knocks at the door startle Emily from her attempts at controlled breathing. "Ill be right out" she says, voice trembling in a way that JJ could tell was through tears. "Em, its me JJ. Can I come in?" Her soft voice makes Emily relax slightly and she opens the door, allowing her in. She did not want anyone to see her this way, not even JJ, but she needed help and she knew it. At the site of the torn down woman in front of her JJ slowly places her arms around her friend. Hugging her gently as to not disturb her injuries she feels Emily relax into her as she sobs. They stay like this for minutes until Emily's breathing finally begins to mellow. She pulls away from JJ, cheeks red in shame of her vulnerability. "I'm sorry JJ, I don't know why that happened. I'm fine" she lies unconvincingly. "It's okay Em, no one expect you to be one hundred percent. You have been through a lot. Just take a breath and splash some cold water on your face, its all okay."

Emily did as she was told and smiles slightly at JJ, thankful for her presence and even more so for the fact that she does not know the full details of what Emily is experiencing. This was too painful, too shameful to be shared. She should have stopped it. She should have fought harder. No one had to know about her moments of weakness and the punishment she received for it. Once she was calm, she walked back to her desk slowly, ignoring the worried glances from her friends. She was glad that no one dare asked her about her lapse of strength. She continues with her work for a few hours, takes a 'lunch break' where she downs another two coffees and another round of pills, nothing more. It is around four pm when Hotch calls Emily into his office.