The night bled into the day before my eyes, and I learned my small bay window faced the rising sun, which filled my room with a soft radiance. Rainbows danced through my hair, cast on everything around me like a thousand small prisms twirling as I moved to stand.
I donned a new outfit consisting of a black pleated skirt, elbow-length white button-down shirt, and a black jumper. The shoes at the bottom of the trunk were ankle-high and made of a soft material with firm soles. Beside them I found knee-high white socks, making the shoes much more comfortable as I learned through trial and error.
I was brushing my hair in an effort to look presentable for my hosts when a soft knock sounded at the door.
"Please, come in."
There stood Minerva, wearing robes not dissimilar to those she wore the night before, but while her hair was pinned up her hat was absent today. I greeted her appearance with a smile, and set down the brush to stand. I grew concerned as she appeared to stare for a moment.
"Miss Minerva, are you alright?" I should address her as Miss, shouldn't I? Isn't that what she had called me last night? Miss Emry?
"I apologize Miss Emry, did you do something with your hair?"
"I washed it last night," I replied matter-of-factly, "and I brushed it just now. I appreciated the toiletries." I wouldn't realize until much later just how unusual my features were. I supposed without dirt in my hair it had shimmered far more in the sunlight than I was aware was normal.
"Right, yes, I'm glad you've had a good rest," she seemed to recover quickly with a nod. "If you'll accompany me, I will escort you to the Great Hall. Headmaster Dumbledore awaits your arrival with some of the other staff."
She led me from the room and back down the spiraling staircase. As we wound our way through the castle she took it upon herself to inform me that some of the teachers would spend part of the summers in the castle, preparing lessons for the upcoming year or because they were regular residents.
After breakfast I would be heading to the Hospital Wing to have a medical examination conducted by someone named Poppy. She said the headmaster had already reached out to the Ministry, and I still had no clue what that was, but it may take a day or two to hear word back by owl. I was confused - owls were animals unaccustomed to speaking like we did as far as I was aware - another unbidden bit of knowledge. I could hardly fathom how an owl was going to convey any sort of message we could clearly understand - or at least provide any answers for my increasingly complex questions.
Once we reached the Entrance Hall we passed under the double staircase through a large set of double doors into the Great Hall which I quickly gathered was an enormous dining room. Four long tables were set length-wise and another long table sat at the far end of the room where a few adults were seated, talking amongst themselves. I supposed the four empty tables were where the students usually sat during the school year, which Albus had mentioned began in a few weeks. Would I get to meet them? Would I make friends if I got the chance?
"Good morning, Miss Emry!" Albus greeted me with a fatherly smile. The three professors that sat with him turned to me curiously. To Albus's right was a middle-aged man dressed in a suit and bowtie with an overcoat that matched his tweed vest. His dark hair waved slightly and hung just past his ears, framing a chubby face that looked accustomed to smiling.
To this man's left was a much shorter man with a well-groomed moustache and middle-parted honey brown hair. He was so short, in fact, that I could hardly see his shoes poking out from under the table as they hung a good two feet off the ground. He, too, wore a suit and bowtie but seemed in need of the round, wire-framed spectacles he wore as he squinted his dark eyes at me studiously. To the left of Albus sat a willowy woman with dark, curly hair cropped short. Her nose was round and rosy, and her eyes a chocolate brown. Atop her head sat a small hat with a wide brim.
"Good morning," I greeted everyone, jumping a little as two chairs popped into existence across from the other teachers with a wave of Albus' hand. I followed Minerva's lead as she sat across from Albus, two plates and goblets having set themselves before our seats. A plentiful spread was laid out before us of sausages, eggs, ham, potatoes, waffles, and more.
"As I'm sure Minerva has informed you, we would like for you to visit our school nurse. It may be that your loss of memory is concussive in nature or due to another traumatic experience with which she may be able to help," Albus tilted his head to me, peering over the rims of his spectacles in a kindly manner. "For now, however, it is my pleasure to introduce to you Professors Horace Slughorn, Filius Flitwick, and Pomona Sprout."
"What a pleasure to meet you," Horace immediately chimed in, his tone as merry as his smile. "I am sorry to hear about the loss of your memory, but perhaps after your medical visit I may be of help. I have in mind a tincture or two depending, of course, on your diagnosis."
Seeing my expression, Minerva elaborated. "Horace is our Potions Master." Unfortunately for me, that didn't clear up the matter nearly as much as she probably imagined.
"What do potions do?" I was a little nonplussed at the pitying looks I received at my comment. Surely they must know by now my general lack of knowing was hardly my fault.
"Poor dear," Pomona spoke up, "That fall Albus told us about must have done quite the number on you."
Horace was the only one who seemed incredibly excited to dive into the explanation I sought. "Potions are brewed with a great variety of intentions in mind, Miss Emry. With the proper ingredients, preparation, time, and a touch of magic, potions can heal great maladies, grant supernatural abilities, render unfortunate conditions such as boils or paralysis, make one fall in love, or even alter one's appearance."
"Not to mention what a great help they can be in the greenhouses," Pomona chimed with a bright smile. Horace waved her compliment off, playfully abashed. "I am the Herbology professor. Perhaps if you would like I could show you around the grounds a bit after your visit with Poppy. I'm sure Hagrid would love to meet you. He keeps the land and tends to the animals."
"That sounds lovely," I replied, bubbling with excitement. It certainly seemed the professors here loved their work. Albus had called them by their professions: professors. Perhaps I should do the same from here on out? Noting that Filius had kept rather quiet as he nibbled on a sausage I turned to him next.
"What is your expertise, Professor Filius?" I queried, apparently taking him aback. He hadn't struck me as shy, having been engaged in conversation with Pomona as Minerva and I walked into the Great Hall.
"I am the Charms Master," he supplied politely. "Like potions, charms cover a wide variety of effects and purposes." He paused, seeming unsure of something before speaking again. "I have been wondering how it is that you are of magical lineage yet have not been invited to attend our school at your age. Your peers would be in their third, maybe fourth year."
"I have a working theory, but I'm not sure you all will like it very much. I know how important it is for you to know that I come from somewhere or belong to someone - that I have memories that have been lost and need only be found." The adults were listening raptly, Albus bridging his fingers together as he leaned forward in his seat. "Perhaps I have simply come to be the way I told Professor Albus in The Three Broomsticks. If I've only just arrived, I couldn't have possibly been invited when others my age were - I hadn't existed yet."
I wasn't sure whether to be frustrated or not when the adults burst into amused giggles. It was difficult for me to boast the idea that they couldn't possibly know for sure when it seemed they knew so much more than myself. My motivation to learn all I could was steadily increasing. At this rate I imagined I'd never get any answers. Hadn't they any books I could read to catch up a little?
"We do, as a matter of fact," Albus supplied warmly, startling me out of my thoughts. Had I said that aloud? Unlike the others, his mirth didn't seem to be at my expense, and I felt some comfort in the idea that he wasn't laughing at me too. "If you would like, I can show you to the library after lunch."
"I would like that very much," I nodded emphatically. "I'm sorry, but I'm sure you can imagine it is frustrating to feel like you don't know anything."
After that, breakfast became a much more relaxed ordeal. I asked Minerva about her profession as the Head of Transfiguration, which she assured me was a very exact and scientific branch of magic that required extremely hard work. I tried a little of every food available at the table, incredibly curious about the things I could identify by name but about which I otherwise had no actual recollection.
When breakfast was finished and the food on the plates magically vanished - where it got to I hadn't a clue - I stood to follow Minerva to the Hospital Wing. The others had since already gone their separate ways, Albus wishing me well whilst he went to attend to some important business. We climbed from the ground floor to the first floor and passed down two hallways before reaching a sunlit room with arched ceilings and filled with a dozen white cots. Poppy, it seemed, had been waiting for us as she sat at a small desk littered with an organized variety of objects and bottles, which I assumed held potions of some sort.
"Hello Miss Poppy," I decided to leap in first this time, "my name is Emry."
Poppy was even younger than Minerva, looking not much older than twenty. Her hair was a bit longer than Professor Pomona's, dark curls peeking out from beneath a white cloth bonnet. The dress she wore was a pretty blue, covered partly by a crisp white apron. Her countenance gave me the impression she was a very down-to-business sort of person.
"Good morning, Miss Emry. Today I will perform an examination to determine the cause of your lapse in memory." It seemed I wasn't wrong.
"I leave you in good hands," Minerva reassured me. I nodded, not wanting to be rude by asking her to stay as I watched her leave, closing the doors gently behind her.
Poppy was a whirlwind, guiding me to one of the beds with a steady hand and pulling out a stick, which was considerably lighter in color than Minerva's. She worked quietly for the most part, her incantations silent. I was made to believe that she preferred silence in her workplace, so I tried not to ask her any of the questions buzzing about in my mind. It seemed that there was an entire branch of magic dedicated to the healing arts, which I shouldn't have found surprising considering everything I had learned so far this morning.
Occasionally she would ask something of me. "What is the earliest memory you can recall?" "How old are you?" "Have you ingested anything unusual lately?" She procured one of the bottles from her desk and had me drink it, but I felt nothing, though the taste was rather unpleasant - like mud and something vaguely bitter. After twenty full minutes of being poked and prodded she appeared to be done and I couldn't help but ask whether she had any inkling of what might be wrong with me.
"As far as I can tell, you're in perfect health. No magical barriers have locked memories away, there are no symptoms of a Confundus or Obliviate spell - used to alter memories," she elaborated when she noted my look of confusion. "I have to admit that if anything was done to magically alter your memory, it is outside my ability to detect. Though there is one process we might try, I'm afraid it is rather invasive. Only one amongst our staff has the ability to perform it."
"What is it?" I wondered. She sat on the bed beside me, her movements purposeful but gentle as she took my hands in hers.
"It is called Legilimency," she said softly. "It is used to look into the minds of others, and in your case it might be used to uncover something you may not consciously know. An alternative, less invasive procedure, may be Veritaserum. Unfortunately it would only compel you to reveal truths of which you are already aware, and it seems you truly have nothing to hide. I don't doubt Albus has judged you to be truthful if you have been allowed within the walls of the school."
"Does it hurt? Legilimency, I mean?"
"It can," she nodded, lips pursed. "As far as I'm aware if there is a struggle between minds the process can have negative effects, but it is far from my area of expertise. Should you wish to undergo Legilimency I would suggest being entirely open. Albus would be able to tell you more."
"I've nothing to hide," I assured her. "Though I'm not sure quite how literal that is… are there people born without memories?"
I think my question amused her because she smiled a very small smile. It made her look much prettier.
"Babies are born without memories, child. You are not a baby."
"So I had to come from somewhere?"
"I can presume nothing different. It seems entirely impossible that a fully grown girl could simply appear in the manner you described to me. My line of work depends on a degree of certainty. If I were to suppose anything it is that you must have parents, and therefore a childhood."
"Professor Albus said he was attempting to find my family. Are parents a part of my family?" I couldn't discern what I had said to make her look at me as she was - with sadness in her eyes.
"Yes, child. Parents are the two people who choose to create a child together."
I thought about that for a moment. If I had parents, that would mean that I was created by them, and that I had somehow been separated from them. Or had I been sent away? Could they be looking for me? Only time would tell… but then again Albus might be able to help like Poppy said.
"Thank you, Miss Poppy."
"Of course. Would you like me to send word to Minerva that we have finished?" She stood and I followed suit, recalling Pomona's offer at breakfast.
"Could you point me in the direction of the greenhouses? Professor Pomona said I could come visit at breakfast this morning."
After getting directions to the greenhouses from Poppy I made my way back to the Entrance Hall, through the left hall lined with classrooms that led to a secondary stone courtyard. My path was mostly straight, leading me across a small open-air walkway through a yard and into another large part of the castle. Poppy called the next hall the "Transfiguration Corridor", which supposedly consisted of four interconnected halls. Just past the Northern Towers to my left and beyond a set of doors I found myself outside once more.
The greenhouses were huge and four in number. Misty green panes made up the walls and rooftops of the strange buildings. Some of the panes were cracked open, like windows, to let in the air. Vines were crawling up the sides, some blooming prettily with flowers of various colors.
"Miss Emry! I'm glad to see you could make it!" I turned from my musings to find Pomona walking toward me. I noticed she was a little flat footed, but her gait was as lively as her smile. I could now see her wide-brimmed hat was what protected her from the bright sunlight - probably a smart investment for someone who frequented the outdoors.
"Hello Professor Pomona!" I cheered, falling into step with her as she led me to one of the greenhouses marked with a large number "2".
"Today I'm working with some more basic plants for potion-making. Slughorn has a few projects he wants to introduce at start-of-term and is in need of ingredients."
"Do you grow them all here?"
"Oh goodness no, the climate isn't quite right for everything potion-making requires, but it's important for budding potioneers to know how to identify certain plants and care for them. This greenhouse is reserved for years two and three mostly, though first years join me here during certain times of the year as well."
My time with Pomona had turned out to be, by far, the most enjoyable time I'd had since waking up in the forest. She didn't seem bothered at all by my millions of questions, answering all she could, showing me how to care for some of the plants she was working with, and even letting me help. Hours passed in a pleasant mixture of conversation and peaceful silence as we worked, watering, planting, transplanting, and pruning. By the time lunch rolled around I had felt as though a weight was lifted from my shoulders I hadn't known to have been there. I'd learned a great deal in good company - surely the prospect of a lost past meant nothing if my future still lay before me.
I thought long and hard as we cleaned ourselves up at one of the sinks in the corner of the greenhouse. My past, if it even existed, didn't concern me much. Something told me there was something right about my whole situation, though I couldn't place why. This was the way it was, so why bother moving backwards when I could move forwards? Already I had made so many new friends, found a new temporary home, and learned a great deal about plants with so much more left to discover. The world seemed so big, and I seemed so small. I wasn't afraid - I was excited.
Albus was absent from lunch, still dealing with whatever important matter had occupied him after breakfast. As such, I wasn't able to ask him about legilimency. I wondered if he had already read my mind or whether I would be able to tell if he did. Regardless, I got to enjoy some new foods, like corned beef - which I found contained no corn - and shepherd's pie. I got Filius to open up a bit more, finding he enjoyed sharing his knowledge just as much as Pomona. He brought up the topic of my future schooling, which made me wonder if Hogwarts would accept a student such as myself, as I'm already a few years older than other first years.
Since Albus was predisposed, Minerva took me to the library which was in the West Wing of the castle on the fourth floor. Irma Pince, the librarian during the school year, was absent, visiting family as Minerva informed me. It wasn't long before I was buried deep in a pile of books, the first of which Minerva recommended to me. Hogwarts: A History, written by someone named Bathilda Bagshot, told me a great deal about the castle. I learned about the founders in the first chapter, titled The Hogwarts Four. The second chapter detailed the castle and grounds, which I planned to explore fully. I was surprised to find that there were doors to nowhere, moving staircases and classrooms, and all sorts of hidden and lost secrets detailed as myth or legend.
The crest I'd seen in the Entrance Hall was explained in the third chapter titled The Houses of Hogwarts, and I wondered which house I would be sorted into if I were allowed to attend. The fourth chapter detailed the subjects and classes offered by the school, and even some that weren't - and why. Blood magic, dark arts, earth magic, necromancy, technomancy, animancy, legilimency/occlumency, and arcane magic were a few subjects which had been banned at Hogwarts. The fifth chapter was a detailed history of the teachers and staff of Hogwarts, followed by the sixth chapter, which informed me that the castle was apparently host to a variety of "Spirits and Spectres" and who they were. The seventh chapter was a bit ambiguous and discussed the artefacts and heirlooms attributed to the history of Hogwarts. The eighth chapter described the events and traditions that had taken place and formed over the years, such as the House Cup Tournament, the Quidditch Cup, and the End of Year Feast.
The book was 288 pages, and by the time I'd finished I realized that I could remember with vivid clarity each page and illustration as though it were still before my eyes. It had grown dark outside and I'd decided to pick up A Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry when I heard footsteps approaching. Turning, I saw Albus pause before my table, eyebrows raised in amusement at the collection of books I was still eager to get to.
"It appears in my absence you have made yourself busy." His eyes twinkled at me from behind his half-moon spectacles and I found myself smiling.
"I helped Professor Pomona in the greenhouses this morning too! I've just finished Hogwarts: A History." I suddenly recalled past my excitement that I'd been meaning to speak with him.
"I sense you still have questions?" For some reason I found it a little humorous that someone as magnanimous as Albus was settling into the small library chair beside me, but pressed on.
"Yes, actually. I read that legilimency isn't allowed as a subject at Hogwarts, but Miss Poppy told me you know it, and it may help find out if I've any lost memories."
"Alas, Miss Emry, I'm afraid the matter isn't so simple. Legilimency is a delicate art which could inflict grave injury upon the mind. To interpret the surface of your thoughts is something even our sorting hat could achieve, but to find hidden or lost memories would require digging."
"The hat was enchanted by Salazar Slytherin, right?"
Albus chuckled, "he was, indeed. Unfortunately only to the extent that he can interpret the nature and intent of an individual, and communicate with the thoughts at the forefront of a student's noggin."
My stomach rumbled and I realized it must have been quite a while since lunch.
"It seems it is time we feed and water ourselves before heading off to bed," Albus announced at the sound, standing. "Would you like to check out?"
I nodded and he helped me stack the books neatly, carrying a few himself from the room as we walked down the stairs and back to the Great Hall.
A/N: I may not have a regular upload schedule, but this project means more to me than any of you might comprehend. I struggled with the idea of publishing anything earlier than I intended. It's a very personal project that spans more realities than just the one familiar here. This is an epic - a journey that tumbles beyond the boundaries of space and time, identity and belief, perception and the unknown. If you have a moment, challenge the narrative, ask questions, poke holes, and please, if you've the care, let me know what you think. Perspective is the greatest gift you could give me. In return I hope what I write changes your world.
