That night, after dinner, I found myself once again wide awake. I wasn't tired, whatever that was, though the professors had expressed that they were. Sleep just wasn't something I'd been able to do, and I wondered what it was like. I tried, really I did. I lay down, closed my eyes, and all I found myself doing was thinking.
It wasn't long before I decided to open another book and continue reading, seating myself on the windowsill like the night before to read by the light of the moon. Small rainbows scattered across the page, dancing when the pages brushed against my hair time and time again. I finished another two books by the time the sun rose.
At some point during the night, by some mysterious magic, my clothes from the day before had been cleaned of the dirt smudges I'd managed to get on them at the greenhouses.
The days rolled by, and the Minister of Magic, whom Albus informed me was the regional leader of the magical community, had still not responded with any news regarding my family. I was beginning to think that I'd never had one after all, and didn't feel too troubled at the fact. Quickly I was finding that I didn't want to leave these people behind - they were becoming my family. If I were to belong to anyone, I'd rather it not be a herd of new strangers I knew nothing about.
A herd of new strangers was clearly on its way, however. Before I knew it a week had passed, and in another two the students would be arriving at the school for the start of the new term. Today I was going to London with Albus to establish something called citizenship, which I gathered was necessary for me to remain in England. Since no one had claimed me, I was to become a ward of the state. I would be set up with a family to live with, which I found rather odd. Would that make me a part of their family? Even though they hadn't made me? I didn't really want that - I was quite fine with the friends I'd found for myself. In the meantime, Albus told me he'd arranged for me to stay the rest of the summer at the castle whilst the Ministry searched for a family that would take me in. I hoped the Minister would agree to the request I wanted to propose - that I could become a student at Hogwarts.
We apparated outside the front gates of the school. I was still dressed in what I learned was a plain uniform that resembled what many of the girls wore at Hogwarts. Albus was wearing deep blue robes with little white stars. I found his clothes nearly matched the arched ceilings of the room we'd apparated into. It was quite long, with a large fountain halfway down the walk. To our right and our left were rows of gold-gilded fireplaces dancing with green flames from and into which people were appearing and disappearing. The room was bustling with activity.
Albus led me to the far side of the hall past a desk labeled "Security" where a row of about twenty very tiny rooms were lined along a smaller hallway. They could each hold maybe a dozen people if they stood close together, and there were people popping in and out of them, the doors closing and opening with odd whooshing sounds. In addition to the people were flocks of lavender paper aeroplanes which seemed to hold themselves aloft, flitting around about everyone's heads.
We wedged ourselves into one of the lifts with a few other people, Albus returning the polite greetings of a few people I assumed knew him. A man in a dark velvet blue uniform cranked a lever which closed a golden accordian door, and pressed a button numbered "7". The room suddenly began to move upwards, the sound of rattling chains filling the air. I nearly jumped when a sweet feminine voice rang through the air.
"Level Seven, Department of Magical Games and Sports, incorporating the British and Irish Quidditch League Headquarters, Official Gobstones Club and Ludicrous Patents Office."
The doors opened and Albus guided me to the side as a few people exited the lift and a few more entered, the paper aeroplanes following suit. The process repeated itself for the next several floors, each being announced by the disembodied voice with equally curious names until at last we reached the first level.
"Level One, Minister for Magic and Support Staff," said the female voice. By this point, Albus and I were the only ones left on the lift and we exited swiftly. I gave a small wave to the operator as the doors closed and he disappeared.
We found the Minister's office near the back. Along the way we passed other offices with placards reading "Conference Room," "Office of the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister," and "Office of the Junior Undersecretary to the Minister." Upon arrival, Albus knocked and we were beckoned inside.
"Good afternoon, Eugenia!" Albus greeted her with familiarity, and I politely stood to the side as they shook hands. Eugenia Jenkins, as her placard had read, was a middle-aged woman with honey blond hair and steely-blue eyes. She appeared rather stressed if the lines etched into her face were any indication, but smiled nonetheless.
"It's good to see you, Albus," she placed her hand in his, which he kissed. Was this how I was going to be greeting someone I hadn't seen in a while? Or was it just another of the many odd things Albus did?
"Radiant as ever," Albus flirted. Eugenia, who didn't seem bothered one bit by the kiss, dropped her hand and turned to me, gesturing for us to seat ourselves in the chairs set before her desk before continuing.
"It is good to finally meet you, Miss Emry. I hear the circumstances of your arrival are peculiar at best. I'm afraid to inform you we haven't had any luck in finding blood relatives to take you in. I have sent word to the other Ministers through the Department of International Magical Cooperation, but bureaucracy is a slow machine." I'd have to read up on what bureaucracy was, I suppose.
"Thank you, Minister Eugenia," I said, figuring she was doing her best. I noticed the surprised look she gave Albus when I addressed her, but she didn't say anything about it.
"Today I will be sending you with Junior Undersecretary Mathias Box to the International Magical Office of Law on Level Five to complete your citizenship application. When you turn seventeen you'll be recognized as a citizen of the magical community, and a year thence we will forward your application for approval by the muggle Ministry."
I nodded, deciding now would be the best time to ask, "will I be able to attend school? I'm told I'm a few years behind."
"As a matter of fact," Eugenia shuffled a few papers around on her desk, finally finding a few of the papers she was looking for. "These forms should be presented during your appointment today for that purpose. The Ministry usually detects magical children at birth and they are automatically placed on a registry to attend Hogwarts when they turn eleven. While we can't explain how this hiccup in your registration occurred, and we've yet to track down your family, Albus has assured us you will be welcome to attend Hogwarts and catch up on your education in the meantime."
I couldn't help but flash Albus and excited smile, completely overjoyed, as I accepted the forms. I'd been expecting to have to jump through hoops or even beg. He chuckled in response to my expression and I thanked them both profusely.
A knock came at the door and it opened to reveal a smartly dressed man in his late twenties or early thirties. He had dark hair which was slicked back and a thin mustache. Hazel eyes smiled at me as though he knew me.
"Mathias, there you are! Please take Miss Emry to her appointment. Albus and I have a few things we need to discuss."
Thanking Eugenia again and receiving a polite smile and "good luck" in response, I stood to follow Mathias, who held the door open and led me back down the hall to the lifts.
"So what does the Junior Undersecretary do?" I asked Mathias as the lift went back down, the feminine voice ringing out to announce the floor beneath the one we'd just left.
"The Junior Undersecretary to the Minister is the third highest position in the Ministry, but it's thankless work," Mathias replied in a smooth tenor. "I am tasked with the oversight of daily Ministry activities within other departments, assisting the Senior Undersecretary and the Minister herself, implementation of Ministry policy - I suppose you could say I'm the eyes and ears of much of what goes on around here."
"So you're a nexus of information," I said more to myself than him. He just chuckled.
"I suppose you're right little lady. To keep things running smoothly, someone has to do it."
"What's your favorite part of your job?" That got him thinking for a moment. The conversation paused as we got off the lift on Level Five.
"I suppose it's the people. Sure there's a menagerie of opinions - political or otherwise - but everyone has something important to contribute here." I liked the way he thought - I hadn't met a single person yet that I didn't find enjoyable or interesting. It seemed he looked at it the same way I did, which gave me some comfort that my mindset wasn't quite so naive.
Mathias led me into an office which was positively disastrous - paper was flying everywhere and the repetitive sound of chiming rang through the air, voices clamouring over one another. We approached a desk behind which sat a young woman with her hair in a fancy updo. She donned a pair of cat-frame glasses and seemed flustered as we walked in, not too discrete in her efforts to tidy herself and her workspace as she smiled prettily up at Mathias.
"Good afternoon, Catlyn, we have an appointment for one Miss Emry."
"Of course, sir," she sighed dreamily. I giggled to myself as she snapped out of it, clearing her throat and setting about grabbing a folder from the filing cabinet beside her.
I was sat to the side in a chair to fill out what I could of the paperwork and review the information needed to file for citizenship, which wasn't nearly as interesting as listening in on Catlyn overtly flirting with Mathias. He was quite the charmer, it seemed, falling into easy conversation with her about some sort of explosion that had occurred on the seventh level in the Ludicrous Patents Office.
My time with Mathias came to an end within the hour. Catlyn helped me choose something called a surname, which was necessary for my paperwork. She told me a lovely story about my name, which she said was very similar to that of an arcane wizard named Emrys, also known as Merlin. He was, supposedly, one of the most renowned wizards in the world for his deeds and role in establishing the magical community in Europe, which had been historically persecuted by muggles. It was quite the history lesson.
Together we settled on Myrddin. Emry Myrddin. It was Welsh, Myrddin. I liked the quiet hum of a sound it had when it rolled off my tongue, and I felt connected to it already.
Albus walked into the office during the culmination of our conversation. Catlyn didn't seem at all to mind my questions about the magical community. If anything, I think she liked showing off in front of Mathias. I bid the two farewell and thanked Mathias for taking the time to stay with me, which he assured me was no sweat off his back - whatever that meant. It sounded a little odd, I won't lie. He didn't appear sweaty.
"How was your appointment?" Albus queried in a fatherly way, stretching out his arm to me so we could apparate to the front gates of the castle. We stood in the same long room whence we arrived, people still bustling all about.
"It was lovely. Do you think Catlyn would mind if I wrote her? She seems to know just about everything!"
"It wouldn't hurt to try," was all I heard before we disappeared with a loud pop.
The next three days were rather ordinary - ordinary as I'd come to know it at least. I would wake in the morning and find my way to the Great Hall for breakfast with the professors. Pomona and I would garden for a while, and after lunch I would either spend my day reading or exploring the castle. Today, however, Pomona had a special project in mind for us.
I looked at the sapling doubtfully. It was rather large for a sapling, all tied up with ropes as it wiggled about. The branches were stumpy and leaves sparing. Thin vines gave the most fight against the sturdy restraints which bound it.
"What is it?" I wondered aloud.
"A whomping willow. They're incredibly rare and can be incredibly dangerous as fully grown adults. It's a terribly territorial tree."
"And we're supposed to plant it on the school grounds?" I could hardly believe such a tree was safe around young children.
"As a special request by the Headmaster himself," Pomona affirmed. She was wearing thick padding under her apron which I quickly realized was to help protect her from the plant as it thumped itself against her chest when she lifted the pot in which it sat. We carried it outside to a small hill and I grabbed a shovel while Pomona managed the tree, finally casting an Immobilus charm so it didn't roll itself back down the hill again.
I dug a hole quickly, about three feet deep - Pomona told me we'd be using a bit of magic today to help the willow grow. It liked to root itself deeply, which I supposed made sense for a being that was territorial. It likely wouldn't want to go anywhere any time soon. We barely set the sapling in its newfound home before the Immobilus charm wore off and the roots began moving about, seeking the soil beneath it.
"We may want to stand a ways back," Pomona warned me. I followed her halfway down the hill, watching as she took out her own magic stick and pointed it at our project for the day. "Herbivicus Duo," she enunciated. A large ball of crackling green light formed at the tip of her stick and the spell connected with the tree which was engulfed by the light, growing rapidly before my eyes. Within minutes the tree had broken free of the ropes which had bound it and towered at least two stories tall. It shook itself out, its trunk twisted about and was so thick at least three grown men would need to wrap their arms around it, not that I'd recommend going anywhere near the thing. A plenitude of leaves sprouted from the vines and if I could say so, the tree almost seemed to nestle happily in place.
"Wha' a sight tha' is!" A booming voice called from a few paces behind us. I turned quickly to see a large man with long dark hair and a short beard approach us.
"Ah, Hagrid! Come to admire our handiwork?" Pomona greeted him, and I recalled that she had mentioned Rubeus Hagrid on my first morning at the castle. He was the groundskeeper and lived in a small house near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, which bordered the far side of the castle.
"A Whompin' Willow, is it? Albus tol' me ye'd be plantin' one this year," he proceeded excitedly. I decided I liked him. He seemed rather jolly which made him much less intimidating despite his towering height of over eleven feet. He was at least twice as tall as Albus, who was already much taller than myself. I wondered if people grew that tall naturally or if he'd had some spell or potion to help him along.
His clothes were evidently made by hand and very well done if the needlework was anything to go by. He wore a simple shirt and brown leather jerkin, brown leather boots, and roughspun pants covered in dirt, suggesting he'd spent the day outdoors.
"Do you know why he's had us plant it? I'd rather not imagine the wallop it'll have in store should anyone go near it," I wondered.
"Albus has his reasons," Pomona assuaged me with a small, confident nod.
"He woul'nae let students go near it," the tall man agreed. "Prolly gonna announce it at tha feast this year."
I bobbed my head slowly, my mind drifting off as I stared at the Whomping Willow, which seemed to have settled down. Pomona had mentioned that the species was a rare one. Perhaps Albus wanted it to have a safe home just as he had done for me. Hogwarts has never turned away someone in need.
"Emry," I heard Pomona calling me out of my thoughts. "I'd like to properly introduce you to Rubeus Hagrid." The tall man gave me a friendly wave, and I could swear I saw a hint of shyness in his smile. I smiled and waved back.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Rubeus. I'm Emry Myrddin!"
"Pleasure's all mine, lil' lady," he replied kindly. "If yeh don' mind my askin', how'd you come ter be here so early this year? Don' believe I've seen you 'round before."
"I'm new," I shrugged. "Professor Albus and Miss Arabelle met me in the Three Broomsticks not long after I landed in the forest outside Hogsmeade."
"Landed in the forest, eh?" Rubeus was kind enough to invite us for tea at his house, which Pomona and I accepted gratefully after the hard work of the morning.
Rubeus' house was set at the very edge of the Forbidden Forest, with grey stone walls and two pointed rooftops over each of the rather rounded sections of which it was composed. The chimney stood so tall it brushed the branches above it. In the front was a small garden which wrapped around to the back, a stump for chopping wood, and a variety of small contraptions I couldn't identify. A quaint smokehouse stood to the left, and a tall stack of firewood leaned against its front-facing wall.
Inside it was cramped but cozy. A gigantic armchair sat next to a tall bookcase lined with a variety of tomes which by their titles held a variety of information about plants, magical creatures, and potions. Directly before us was a large fireplace and a small kitchen table with a few chairs. A bed which looked only just big enough to fit the large man leading us sat through an open doorway opposite the armchair and bookshelf. A pretty turkish rug padded the smooth wooden floors beneath my shoes and the windows were open to let in the cool summer breeze. Herbs and other odds and ends were hung from the rafters, wooden traps were littered about in the corners - the tiny house seemed to say a lot about its sole inhabitant.
It wasn't long before we were all seated about the table, Rubeus bringing in an extra chair from the bedroom to accommodate us all. A pot of tea was started and I told the story of my arrival to a curious Rubeus, who seemed as stumped as I was about it all. I liked that he seemed to accept me so easily, the only person who didn't think I was silly when I expressed the idea that I'd come from nothing. He was… open-minded. Trusting.
By the time the tea was ready I'd moved the topic from myself to Rubeus. He and Pomona discussed his garden for a while, he told me about his love for magical creatures - some of which he described in the most beautiful ways. I wondered if I'd get the chance to meet any, which he assured me I would as I progressed in classes. He told me a professor at the school named Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank taught a Care of Magical Creatures class for years three and up. I could tell by his wistful gaze that the job seemed like a dream come true to him, and I hoped he'd get to realize it someday.
I really liked Rubeus, so by the time our visit came to an end I resolved to visit him regularly, which he seemed very pleased to hear. He saw us out with a friendly wave and smile, heading out to the forest with a crossbow slung over his shoulder.
On the walk up to the castle Pomona warned me with mirth not to accept any rock-cakes he offered less I break my teeth on them. Part of me wanted to know for myself just how true this was.
The day passed into night and I found myself holed up in the library, nose buried in another book. Minerva had stopped escorting me to my room once she was confident I could find it on my own so I had taken to staying up considerably late, reading by candlelight and slipping into my room an hour or two before dawn so I wouldn't be caught.
Now that I knew I'd be staying at the castle as a student I figured it would be a good idea to catch up on as much as possible, reading through a list of the books the professors told me were to be assigned to first years. It seemed that much of a first year students' education was steeped in theory, though there were a myriad of spells to be learned in quite a few of the subjects.
I was excited to get a wand of my own, wands apparently being the proper term for the magical sticks I'd seen the professors using. I hungrily read Coleman's Book of Wands, by Matthew Coleman. It had detailed much about wands themselves - their cores, woods, lengths, degrees of rigidity and flexibility, and so on. Secretly I hoped I'd be able to get mine before the start of the school year as I read that I would, as an underage witch, be allowed to perform magic on the school grounds - though the use of magic was strictly forbidden in front of muggles.
It was odd to me that muggles could be so prejudiced against those with magic. Today I'd chosen several books detailing the lives and industries of muggles from the wizarding perspective. It seemed jumping down that rabbit hole, however, proved that some wizards were just as prejudiced against muggles as their counterparts were prejudiced against them. What possible productive relationship could be formed from such dislike? I could just imagine the accomplishments the two worlds could achieve if only they worked together, but from what Ms. Catlyn had told me it was something Merlin had once tried and it had failed miserably. Still, that was hundreds of years ago and people couldn't hold on to hatred or fear forever, could they?
I decided to bring this up to Rubeus the next morning after helping Pomona in the greenhouses. He and I were touring the grounds - he offered and I was happy to walk about in the fresh air with him. The school was huge, and he had even introduced me to the rather friendly and ticklish giant squid in the Black Lake.
"Mr. Rubeus," I queried, tilting my head back to look up at him, "why do wizards and muggles not like each other?"
He was quiet for a beat, eyebrows disappearing into his unruly dark hair as he considered me for a moment.
"Well, not e'ery wizard feels that way abou' muggles, lil' Em," he started. Of course I already knew that, a few of the books I'd read last night had somewhat flattering or unbiased considerations of muggles and the technology they invented to get along without magic. "Tha's tha kind o' attitude some older wizarding families uphold, but there are plenty o' muggleborn witches an' wizards. Personally I 'ave nothing against muggles or muggleborns."
"So that means muggleborns aren't always welcomed with open arms," I stated, frowning a bit. "But they're witches and wizards."
Rubeus nodded with a heavy sigh. "It init very fair, but tha's tha way it is. Back in tha day, magic folk were persecuted by muggles. What some o' tha textbooks won't tell ya is tha' some of those magic folk were askin' for it. Castin' curses, meddlin' with muggle affairs, and scarin' tha non-magic folk on purpose 'cause they believed they were better than 'em. O' course some magic people could'nae help their bouts of magic - especially if they were young an' uneducated in how ter control it. Tha's why Hogwarts an' other wizardin' schools were founded - ter help tha lil'uns control their magic so they could live without fear."
"But what about the wizards that tried to help muggles? Shouldn't that have shown muggles not every magical person should be feared?" Surely just because there were a few people with malintent it could be no different amongst the muggles themselves. Why fear the whole magical community?
"Fact o' the matter is, Em, there are people who fear wha' they can't understand - it goes like tha' both ways, see? Muggles are scared o' magic 'cause they don't know it. Some 'ave been on tha receiving end of magic used for tha wrong reasons an' gotten hurt as a result. Wizards are scared o' lackin' magic 'cause it helps 'em do such incredible things an' tha idea o' losin' tha' or not havin' it is a horror ter them. Some wizards feel like that makes 'em better than everyone else, an' tha' just isn't tha way it really works."
"Muggles have invented all kinds of things," I agreed, "and that takes ingenuity and aspirations for a better future. I read about cars and all sorts of kitchen appliances - some of them work on something called electricity that they've managed to share across vast expanses to help one another see at night and watch moving pictures in boxes. That doesn't seem all that different from waylines or moving photographs to me." That earned me a smile, which oddly made my heart feel light.
"Tha's right, 'Em. It takes all kinds, don't you forget tha', ya hear? Some o' your classmates don't share your perspective."
We walked along the edge of the lake in comfortable silence for a while, Rubeus occasionally skipping stones that were about the size of my head. I tried to copy him with smaller flat pebbles, but wasn't very good at it yet. We spent another half hour chatting about little things and dipping our toes in the water before walking back up to the castle for lunch.
That evening I decided I would educate myself on these old wizarding families Rubeus had told me about - some of my classmates would belong to them after all. I was able to dig up a copy of the Pure-Blood Directory written by Cantankerous Nott. Apparently there were twenty-eight families considered to be "truly pure-blood", which meant there were marriages between them, preserving their bloodlines. Family tree after family tree revealed that even some cousins were married to cousins, though families like the Malfoys were less extreme than the Blacks in that they were willing to marry half-bloods to avoid inbreeding. I was happy to spot the Weasley family included a few muggles here and there - the historically large family spreading across nearly seven pages.
On that note, figuring out what inbreeding meant led me down a rather uncomfortable route of research that made me further question why some pure-blood supremacists would rather risk birth deformities than marry outside the magical community. Risking a child's life or reducing the quality of it hardly seemed a "superior" thing to do.
Probably the coolest takeaway that I found as I spiraled down a rabbit hole of blood status, the mixing of magical and muggle communities, and birth records was the medley of inherited abilities and what were often referred to as "half-breeds". Some families, like the Blacks, had certain rare abilities passed down along their lineage. They had within the last century four metamorphmagi - individuals with the inherited ability to change their appearance with nothing but sheer will - as easily as smiling.
Still other families showed records of marriages between magical/non-magical humans and other magical creatures - their children inheriting a vast array of combined traits from their parents which gave them unique appearances and skills. Veela-human children more often than not inherited incredible beauty and the ability to alter emotions and thoughts by releasing powerful hormones. They didn't inherit their Veela parents ability to change into a Veela form, though they were natural pyromancers and more magically inclined to nonverbal wandless pyromancy than the average witch or wizard.
There were very few records of human-gobblin children considering what appeared to be an incredibly violent past between the two races. Realization dawned on me while matching names to family trees that Professor Filius was half-goblin. Perhaps I would be better to keep my knowledge of this to myself - I didn't want to seem insensitive or intrusive. Rubeus had made it clear that even people at this school could be prejudiced; there is no doubt that Filius had encountered that prejudice.
I continued reading late into the night once again, scuttling down the halls and up the stairs barely an hour before breakfast, giving me just enough time to wash up and put on a fresh set of clothes. The sun shone brightly through the window as it crested the horizon, nearly blinding me as I exited the bathroom, ruffling wet hair with a towel. Knocking at my door beckoned me to open it. On the other side stood Rubeus, who seemed to be crouching just a bit to peer through the doorway, a jolly smile on his face. I grinned back at him, though I wondered why he was here.
"Good morning, Mr. Rubeus!"
"G'day lil' Em! Professor McGonnagal said yer gonna be attending Hogwarts this year, eh?" He chuckled at me as I nodded excitedly and I couldn't help but giggle as my stomach fluttered at the thought of living here and adventuring in the big wide world of magic. "Sounds like yer gonna need school supplies."
A/N: I may not have a regular upload schedule, but this project means more to me than any of you might comprehend. I struggled with the idea of publishing anything earlier than I intended. It's a very personal project that spans more realities than just the one familiar here. This is an epic - a journey that tumbles beyond the boundaries of space and time, identity and belief, perception and the unknown. If you have a moment, challenge the narrative, ask questions, poke holes, and please, if you've the care, let me know what you think. Perspective is the greatest gift you could give me. In return I hope what I write changes your world.
