-Chapter 88-Lean on me-

-Rachel pov-

It's been a little while since everything went down. It's been three weeks to be exact. I got out a few days ago and Brittany a few days before me. She's still kind of down though.

She's still super small and weighs barely anything. I absolutely hate it. It's not like she's doing it to stay fit or anything. She is small because of what happened to me.

I know she blames herself. She really shouldn't but she does. Now we have nationals to prepare for and she's weak. Anytime she pushes to hard she falls. It's absolutely crazy to watch happen.

One of our spitfires is burning out. My ray of sunshine is going dull. My own happiness is stopping and I can't take it. It hurts so much to see her down on herself.

"Rachel?" I look up and see a worried Blaine "You coming to do the Nationals nominations?"

"Yeah" I get out of my chair "Let's go"

I walk with Blaine to the club room and see Brittany there. I smile and walk over to her. I sit beside her and go to lean on her. Instead I'm met with air as she moves away slightly.

A...am I not good enough anymore? Did I do something that I'm not away of? Am I the reason she's upset? What if she's thinking about breaking off the engagement?

I shouldn't be this shocked about it though. She's been doing this a lot. Hell I don't even think she's worn her ring. I look down at mine and play with it.

This means the work to me. Why can't it mean the world to her too? Maybe she realized how much trouble I am...maybe she's found someone better in the club.

Why else would she be here early? She always gets here early now. She doesn't walk with me at all. I can feel the numbness coming back in.

"Alright!" I look up at my mom as she claps with a smile "Who has a solo ready?"

"I've got a song" I stand up not really feeling my body and walk to the front "I've got one"

I go to the piano and find the keys. I can prove I'm still a good choice. If she just hears I'd help her maybe...maybe she'll come back! Maybe she'll still think I'm worth it!

-Rachel singing-

Oh look there you go again

Puttin' on that smile again

Even though I know you've had a bad day

Doin' this and doin' that

Always puttin' yourself last

A whole lotta give and not enough take

But you can only be strong so long before you break

So..

Fall

Go on and fall apart

Fall into these arms of mine

I'll catch you every time you

Fall

Go on and lose it all

Every doubt every fear

Every worry every tear

I'm right here

Baby fall

Forget about the world tonight

All that's wrong and all that's right

Lay your head on my shoulder let it fade away

And if you wanna let go

Baby, it's okay

Fall

Go on and fall apart

Fall into these arms of mine

I'll catch you every time you

Fall

Go on and lose it all

Every doubt every fear

Every worry every tear

I'm right here

Baby fall

Hold on

Hold on

Hold on

To me

Fall

Go on and fall apart

Fall into these arms of mine

I'll catch you every time you

Fall

Go on and lose it all

Every doubt every fear

Every worry every tear

I'm right here

Baby fall

I turn as the group claps but I tune them out. I look straight at Brittany who doesn't even give an expression. She turns her head and looks away. I feel my heart shatter piece by piece.

"You know I've always wanted to do a duet!" Blaine walks over to me "Why don't we do sad or helpful songs? I have the perfect one I think!"

I nod and let Blaine take over the piano. I'm needed for a song. Stop being numb and stupid for once in you damn life. She doesn't love you anymore and you don't need her!

-Blaine-Rachel-Both-

She put him out, like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Until the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away her memory

Life is short, but this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that said, "I'll love her 'til I die"

And when we buried him beneath the willow

The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

La, la, la, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la, la, la

The rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself

For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind

Until the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away his memory

Life is short, but this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

We found her with her face down in the pillow

Clinging to his picture for dear life

We laid her next to him beneath the willow

While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

La, la, la, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la, la, la

"Stop it" I look up confused "STOP ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DID NOT ALMSOT DIE! STOP ACTING FINE! THIS IS NOT BROADWAY! YOU CAN HURT! PLEASE JUST SHOW YOUR DAMN HURT!"

"I-I" I feel tears form in my eyes "You haven't even talked about what's hurting you!"

"YOU ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!" Brittany storms and picks me up by my shirt collar "You act like nothing happened! Like I...like I didn't hold your dying body in my arms! Like I wasn't covered in your blood for a few days! You act like it never happened! Stop acting! This is reality not some dream Rachel! Stop acting!"

"Brittany?" I watch the tears fall down her face and her hold gets tighter "Brittany you're starting to hurt me"

"I've been so scared of sleeping" I fed her shaking as she holds my collar "I haven't slept a wink because..because I don't wanna wake up and this be a dream! I don't wanna wake up you not be with me! I'm scared to get close again! I'm scared to the lose the girl I love!"

"It's not a dream Brittany" I slowly reach up and cup her face "I'm here ok? You feel me right? You can feel my hands on your face right? Answer Britt"

"I can" I feel her hold get loosened as more tears fall "I'm so scared to lose you"

Soon I'm let go and she's sobbing. I pull her into me as she pushes me. I'm not letting her get away. I'm going to hold on for all I've got left.

-Blaine-Santana-Lucy-Group-

Sometimes in our lives

We all have pain, we all have sorrow.

But if we are wise,

We know that there's always tomorrow.

Lean on me when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride

If I have things you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs

That you won't let show.

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on.

I just might have a problem that you'll understand,

We all need somebody to lean on.

I finally look up with Britt at the group. I smile as they all have no judgement on their faces. Just love in their eyes.

Lean on me when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on.

I just might have a problem that you'll understand,

We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load

You have to bear

That you can't carry

I'm right up the road

I'll share your load

If you just call me.

I feel Brittany lay her head on my shoulder as the group sings together. Our family sings together. I really do love all of these people. My sisters and my brothers.

Call me if you need a friend

Call me, call me, uh-huh

Call me when you need a friend

Call me if you ever need a friend

Call me, call me

Call me, call me

Call me, call me

Call me, call me

Call me if you need a friend

Call me, call me

Call me, call me

Call me, call me

Call me, call me

Call me

"I think we have our group song" Mom wheels over to me and Brittany "You two ok?"

"Honestly?" She nods and I shake my head "I won't be for a little while...but that ok! Because it's ok not to be ok"

"But we have each other" Brittany kisses my forehead and pulls me closer "And we have our family here"

"Why don't we do our picks next meeting" Mom wheels to the doors with a smile "Meeting dismissed"

I smile and then start laughing when the group hugs us. I've not felt so much love. I've never felt so much love towards me. I finally feel safe and secure.

I won't let them down when we get to nationals.